Daddy, Stop Talking!

Author: Adam Carolla
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062394274
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 229

Book Description
Last Will & Testament of Adam Carolla I, Adam Carolla, being of beaten-down mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and addendums previously made by me. (You guys never did listen, anyway.) Article I I appoint the rest of the world's unappreciated dads as Personal Representatives to administer this Will. I bequeath to them the right to crack a couple cold ones in the garage after working their asses off all week and ask that they be permitted to watch all the porn they like and not have to change diapers and get dragged to every preschool "graduation" and PTA meeting. Article II To my wife, I leave a safe-deposit box, the sole content of which is a note reading "Get a job. I'm dead," and my best wishes on trying to keep up with the unending demands of our houses, cars, dog, and kids. Article III I devise, bequeath, and give my kids this book, Daddy, Stop Talking. Since you guys were the death of me, I leave you these pages of wisdom. But no cash, cars, or property. You've got to earn those. On that note, I further demand that the following message be placed on the marker of my grave: "You're All on Your Own Now. Enjoy."

Daddy, Daddy Please Stop Drinking

Author: Robb Kelly
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781702575867
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 284

Book Description
Daddy, Daddy Please Stop Drinking chronicles the true life story of my personal fight from homeless alcoholic to living a life beyond my wildest dreams. My name is Dr. Robb Kelly and today I run a successful alcohol and addiction recovery business but I had to travel to hell and back to make me the man I am today. I am not sure when I crossed the line from social drinking to alcoholism, I just know I did and my life would never be the same again. I was married with children and had a great career, life could not have been better. The only problem is that I drank too much, and when I did I lost control. When I enjoyed my drinking I couldn't control it, and when I controlled my drinking I couldn't enjoy it. Finally, alcoholism gripped me hard and like most people I sank really quickly.I lost everything: my business, my home, my wife, and most importantly my two young daughters. I had a PhD from Oxford University but went from a comfortable home to homelessness and lived on the mean streets of Manchester England for a year asking for handouts to purchase liquor. While homeless, I was arrested several times, prone to blackouts that lasted for weeks, and was assaulted physically and sexually. I have had several near brushes with death, including an attempted suicide. So great was my despair of my alcoholic and addictive condition that I just wanted to die.On a cold and wet English night, I fell to my knees and begged God to help me find a way from the endless nightmare that was my existence and moments later a man carrying a bible rounded the corner and offered me a helping hand. My plea that cold night opened the door to sobriety and I found the answer I was looking for. To my amazement it had been there all along, I just had to hit rock bottom before I would accept it. Since recovering from a hopeless state of alcoholism, it has become my life mission to assist other hopeless, chronic alcoholics and addicts and educate all I could on the dangers and warning signs of alcohol and addiction. That is my purpose and my passion, to assist the still struggling alcoholic and addict recover their lives. I was an alcoholic whose symptoms and not my disease were treated every trip to hospital. My gripping story of success to failure to success proves that it's never too late to recover your life from alcoholism and addiction. Everyone had written me off as dead twenty years ago but I'm still standing and I have one hell of a story to share. If you're struggling with drug and alcohol abuse yourself or are the loved one of an alcoholic or addict, this book will inspire you to never give up hope. Today, I'm living the dream instead of dreaming to live.

President Me

Author: Adam Carolla
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062320424
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 289

Book Description
My fellow Americans, President John F. Kennedy once famously said, "Hey, is that blond intern eighteen yet?" He also said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country." We've changed a lot since JFK asked us all to pitch in. We've become a nation of narcissistic, yoga-mat-toting, service-dog-having, absentee dads and gluten-free, hand-wringing, hypochondriac moms of overcaffeinated (yet somehow still lazy) twerking tweens. And our government is an inept bureaucracy incapable of doing anything except getting in our wallets and in our way. We've got to get it together, America. That is why I, Adam Carolla, hereby declare myself Candidate Carolla. The tome you hold in your hands is a statement of my intent to whip our country back into fighting shape, to eliminate the "what are you going to do for me?" mentality that has invaded our country. President Me is my manifesto, my vision for a better place . . . free of Big Government, barefoot fliers, lazy hipsters who'd rather "Occupy" than work, and the other things that are bringing our country down. With my cabinet appointees, my list of worthy and necessary presidential ManDates, and tons of great ideas for fixing our health care, education, energy, and even national parks systems . . . behold an America we can be proud of. The America I see in my head. You're welcome in advance. Your future leader, Adam

Dad, How Do I?

Author: Rob Kenney
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0063075032
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 230

Book Description
From the host of the YouTube channel that went viral—Dad, How Do I?—comes a book that’s part memoir/part inspiration/part DIY. Rob Kenney’s father left him and his seven siblings when he was fourteen years old, and the youngest had to fend for themselves. He wished that he had someone who could teach him the basics—how to tie a tie, jump-start a car, unclog a drain, use tools properly—as well as succeed in life. But he and his siblings had to figure these things out on their own. Now a father himself, Rob decided that he would help people out by providing how-to tips as well as advice—and even throw in some bad dad jokes. He started a YouTube channel for anyone looking for fatherly advice, and in the course of three months, gained a following of nearly 2.5 million subscribers, with millions of views for his how-to and inspirational videos. In this book, Rob shares his story of overcoming a difficult childhood with the strength of faith and family, and offers inspiration and hope. In addition, he provides 50 practical DYI instructions (30 of which will be unique to the book), illustrated with helpful line drawings.

Is Daddy Coming Back in a Minute?

Author: Elke Barber
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
ISBN: 1784503711
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 39

Book Description
When we were on a No Girls Allowed! holiday, my daddy's heart stopped beating and I had to find help all by myself. He was very badly broken. Not even the ambulance people could help him... This honest, sensitive and beautifully illustrated picture book is designed to help explain the concept of death to children aged 3+. Written in Alex's own words, it is based on the real-life conversations that Elke Barber had with her then three-year-old son, Alex, after the sudden death of his father. The book provides reassurance and understanding to readers through clear and honest answers to the difficult questions that can follow the death of a loved one, and carries the invaluable message that it is okay to be sad, but it is okay to be happy, too.

Cool Daddy Rat

Author: Kristyn Crow
Publisher: Putnam Publishing Group
ISBN: 9780399243752
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 32

Book Description
A young rat hides in his father's bass case and tags along as he plays and scats around the big city.

Not Taco Bell Material

Author: Adam Carolla
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0307888886
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 338

Book Description
Now in paperback, Adam Carolla takes us back--before Loveline and The Man Show, before the Guinness World Record-breaking podcast and the New York Times bestseller In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks--to reveal all the stories behind how he came to be the angry middle-aged man he is today. Funnyman Adam Carolla is known for two things: hilarious rants about things that drive him crazy and personal stories about everything from his hardscrabble childhood to his slacker friends to the hypocrisy of Hollywood. He tackled rants in his first book, and now he tells his best stories, debuting some never-before-heard tales as well. Organized by the myriad "dumps" Carolla called home as a child to the flophouse apartments he rented in his twenties, up to the homes he personally renovated after achieving success in Hollywood, the anecdotes here follow Adam's journey and the hilarious pitfalls along the way. Adam Carolla started broke and blue collar and has now been on the Hollywood scene for more than fifteen years. Yet he's still connected to the working-class guy he once was and delivers a raw and edgy, fish-out-of-water take on the world he lives in (but mostly disagrees with), telling all the stories, no matter who he offends--family, friends, or the famous.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks

Author: Adam Carolla
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0307717380
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 274

Book Description
A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

Daddy's Treat

Author: Rory Reynolds
Publisher: Rory Reynolds
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 166

Book Description
Gorgeous, tempting, and entirely out of my league. I just met the man of my dreams, and rode him like a freaking backpack …and God do I wish that was a euphemism. Ever wonder what exactly is in a recipe for disaster? Cause, I’ve got it. All you need is one candy corn loving scaredy-cat, i.e. me. Add thirty of my closest frenemies, throw in a haunted corn maze and a murderous clown, and then sprinkle the whole thing with a dash of embarrassment just to keep things interesting. Get the mix just right and you’ll fall in love… Yeah, or you’ll ride the man of your dreams like a backpack. Literally. I literally rode my dream guy—my tempting, illegally hot, fantasy man—backpack style out of that stupid corn maze. I’m just trying to survive my senior year of college. My only rule: take the path of least resistance. Which was going great until I fell for the hottest man on campus. The one all the girls want. Coach Prescott. Crap. I crave him more than candy corn. Which is a lot. With dark eyes, hard muscles, and a dominant streak a mile wide. There was no resisting him. He wants to know my naughtiest fantasies. That’s easy. I want to be his good girl. His naughty girl. I want him to be my daddy. Sometimes, the dirtiest trick turns into the sweetest treat. Right? Note: Daddy’s Treat is a full-length daddy dom insta-love romance with a guaranteed happily ever after.

My Dad Thinks I'm a Boy?!

Author: Sophie Labelle
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
ISBN: 1787752224
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 45

Book Description
'My Dad thinks I'm a boy named Stephen who likes wrestling and fishing. But that's what my Dad likes.' Stephie is 7 years old. She likes bugs, books and spaghetti. Also, she's a girl... which should be pretty easy to understand, right? Well, not for her Dad! He's been mistaking her for a boy since she was born and struggles to see her for who she is. This powerful and uplifting book for children aged 6 - 9 and their families humorously portrays a situation that is often too common, where a trans child is forced to negotiate between their true self and their parents' love. With amusing illustrations, and a useful guide for adults, it's the perfect book to help show children that no one else than ourselves gets to decide who we are.