Author: Diana Pharaoh Francis
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781944756079
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
Beck Wyatt has always hated her mother-enough to kill her. As luck would have it, someone beats her to murdering Mommy Dearest and now Beck gets to plan the tackiest funeral the world has ever seen for the worst woman she's ever known.But first, Beck has a few minor problems to deal with. First on the list? Avoid getting kidnapped. She also has to convince the police she didn't kill her mother. And then there's surviving a death curse ¿.With the help of her three best friends, cheesecake, and a little magic, Beck figures she can handle anything, even the mysterious and irritating Damon Matroviani, whose sexy good-looks light her panties on fire.All too soon, her life is turned inside out, and just when things are looking like they can't get any worse ¿ everything hits the fan.
Putting the Fun in FUNeral
Author: Alan Hounshell
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781071364062
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 108
Book Description
Two Act play - The story centers around the Bellenasto and the Garrison families who were once close to each other, but they have drifted apart over the years. The families are unexpectantly brought back together when each has a family member die at the same time. In order to save money and time, both families decide to have their funeral services on the same day. Fortunately for them, the funeral home they chose is owned by Marshall Causeway whose business is struggling to survive. In order to get their business, Marshall makes the families a really good deal to beat his competitor - the big corporate funeral company of Burroughs and Burroughs Funeral Emporium. He promises each family as part of his new business plan to put the FUN back into FUNeral. What is discovered as the story unfolds is that the Bellenasto' s deceased patriarch had an affair with the Garrison family's matriarch. To make things more complicated, prior to getting married, the widow (Shelly) and widower (Stanley) were in a relationship. Between Marshall trying to put the FUN in FUNeral and the bickering of the families, something will eventually have to give in this humorous macabre situation. Will the families be able to forgive their deceased? Will the Causeway Funeral home be able to thrive in the new world? Will Shelly and Stanley pick up where they left off now their spouses have kicked the bucket? What other family secrets will fall out of the closet?
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781071364062
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 108
Book Description
Two Act play - The story centers around the Bellenasto and the Garrison families who were once close to each other, but they have drifted apart over the years. The families are unexpectantly brought back together when each has a family member die at the same time. In order to save money and time, both families decide to have their funeral services on the same day. Fortunately for them, the funeral home they chose is owned by Marshall Causeway whose business is struggling to survive. In order to get their business, Marshall makes the families a really good deal to beat his competitor - the big corporate funeral company of Burroughs and Burroughs Funeral Emporium. He promises each family as part of his new business plan to put the FUN back into FUNeral. What is discovered as the story unfolds is that the Bellenasto' s deceased patriarch had an affair with the Garrison family's matriarch. To make things more complicated, prior to getting married, the widow (Shelly) and widower (Stanley) were in a relationship. Between Marshall trying to put the FUN in FUNeral and the bickering of the families, something will eventually have to give in this humorous macabre situation. Will the families be able to forgive their deceased? Will the Causeway Funeral home be able to thrive in the new world? Will Shelly and Stanley pick up where they left off now their spouses have kicked the bucket? What other family secrets will fall out of the closet?
It's Your Funeral!
Author: Kathy Benjamin
Publisher: Quirk Books
ISBN: 1683692950
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 177
Book Description
You can’t attend your own funeral. But you can have a blast planning it! Death is scary—but planning your funeral doesn't have to be! It's Your Funeral! will help demystify death, decrease your anxiety, and put the fun back in funeral, whether that means a drunken bacchanal or a somber reflection on just how great you were. Every stage of the legacy planning process is considered, from a burial outfit to a funeral theme. Practical and cheeky questions alike are answered, including: • What is the most eco-friendly burial method? • Can I write my own obituary? • Can my body be shot into space after I die? • How can I manage my digital legacy? Offering a plethora of curious facts, strange stories, and inspiration to help you think outside the coffin, It’s Your Funeral! includes worksheets that will ensure your wishes are recorded for posterity. Planning for death should be the time of your life, so let’s get started!
Publisher: Quirk Books
ISBN: 1683692950
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 177
Book Description
You can’t attend your own funeral. But you can have a blast planning it! Death is scary—but planning your funeral doesn't have to be! It's Your Funeral! will help demystify death, decrease your anxiety, and put the fun back in funeral, whether that means a drunken bacchanal or a somber reflection on just how great you were. Every stage of the legacy planning process is considered, from a burial outfit to a funeral theme. Practical and cheeky questions alike are answered, including: • What is the most eco-friendly burial method? • Can I write my own obituary? • Can my body be shot into space after I die? • How can I manage my digital legacy? Offering a plethora of curious facts, strange stories, and inspiration to help you think outside the coffin, It’s Your Funeral! includes worksheets that will ensure your wishes are recorded for posterity. Planning for death should be the time of your life, so let’s get started!
Dark Needs at Night's Edge
Author: Kresley Cole
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1849834296
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 338
Book Description
On the night lovely Néomi Renate, a famous ballerina at the turn of the century, was murdered, an evil force turned her into a spectre - a phantom that's neither alive nor dead - and cursed her to relive her harrowing death every month during the full moon. Unable to leave her home, she has managed to scare away any trespassers, until she encounters an inhabitant even more terrifying than Néomi herself. When Conrad Wroth, a vampire warlord who's been half-mad for centuries, first beholds Néomi, he knows nothing will stop him from claiming the ethereal beauty as his own - not even death itself. Yet even if the gruff warrior can win her love and defeat the evil that surrounds her, he still must determine a way to bring her fully back to life, and back to him.
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1849834296
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 338
Book Description
On the night lovely Néomi Renate, a famous ballerina at the turn of the century, was murdered, an evil force turned her into a spectre - a phantom that's neither alive nor dead - and cursed her to relive her harrowing death every month during the full moon. Unable to leave her home, she has managed to scare away any trespassers, until she encounters an inhabitant even more terrifying than Néomi herself. When Conrad Wroth, a vampire warlord who's been half-mad for centuries, first beholds Néomi, he knows nothing will stop him from claiming the ethereal beauty as his own - not even death itself. Yet even if the gruff warrior can win her love and defeat the evil that surrounds her, he still must determine a way to bring her fully back to life, and back to him.
Dead Jokes
Author: Jim Reaper
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781724152206
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 56
Book Description
Put the fun back in funeral with DEAD JOKES. A collection of tasteless jokes about death. Nothing is off limits.Most of these joke are crude and if you are easily offended then maybe you should check out DAD JOKES which are typically far less shocking. These jokes are not politically correct and will offend some people. Not suitable for children. Not suitable for adults who are not morally corrupt.
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781724152206
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 56
Book Description
Put the fun back in funeral with DEAD JOKES. A collection of tasteless jokes about death. Nothing is off limits.Most of these joke are crude and if you are easily offended then maybe you should check out DAD JOKES which are typically far less shocking. These jokes are not politically correct and will offend some people. Not suitable for children. Not suitable for adults who are not morally corrupt.
Denton Little's Deathdate
Author: Lance Rubin
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 147112424X
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 308
Book Description
'Denton's funny, self-effacing genuineness will keep readers rooting for him' Kirkus Reviews 'Full belly-laugh funny' Notes From The Underground 'Freaking hilarious' goodreads.com 'Very, very funny . . . fresh, original and an absolute joy to read' thebookbag.co.uk 'This book! Oh my god, this book is brilliant! … It's so exciting and awesome! Who has ever heard of a teen angsty, hilariously funny, fast-paced, exciting dystopian? I love it!' Once Upon a Bookcase The first of two books, Denton Little's Deathdateis an utterly gripping read - with a killer plot twist, hilarious characters, and atruly memorable voice. Imminent death has never been so funny!Denton Little's Deathdatetakes place in a world exactly like our own - except that everyone knows the day on which they will die. For Denton, that's in just two days - the day of his senior prom. Despite his early deathdate, Denton has always wanted to live a normal life - but his final days are filled with dramatic firsts. First hangover. First sex. First love triangle (the first sex seems to have happened not with his adoring girlfriend, but with his best friend's sister. Though he's not totallysure - see, first hangover). His anxiety builds when he discovers a mysterious purple rash making its way up his body. Is this what will kill him? Then a strange man shows up at his funeral, claiming to have known Denton's long-deceased mother, and warning him to beware of suspicious characters . . . Suddenly Denton's life is filled with mysterious questions and precious little time to find the answers. Debut author Lance Rubin takes us on a fast, gripping, and outrageously funny ride through the last hours of a teenager's life as he searches for love, meaning and (just maybe) a way to live on . . .
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 147112424X
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 308
Book Description
'Denton's funny, self-effacing genuineness will keep readers rooting for him' Kirkus Reviews 'Full belly-laugh funny' Notes From The Underground 'Freaking hilarious' goodreads.com 'Very, very funny . . . fresh, original and an absolute joy to read' thebookbag.co.uk 'This book! Oh my god, this book is brilliant! … It's so exciting and awesome! Who has ever heard of a teen angsty, hilariously funny, fast-paced, exciting dystopian? I love it!' Once Upon a Bookcase The first of two books, Denton Little's Deathdateis an utterly gripping read - with a killer plot twist, hilarious characters, and atruly memorable voice. Imminent death has never been so funny!Denton Little's Deathdatetakes place in a world exactly like our own - except that everyone knows the day on which they will die. For Denton, that's in just two days - the day of his senior prom. Despite his early deathdate, Denton has always wanted to live a normal life - but his final days are filled with dramatic firsts. First hangover. First sex. First love triangle (the first sex seems to have happened not with his adoring girlfriend, but with his best friend's sister. Though he's not totallysure - see, first hangover). His anxiety builds when he discovers a mysterious purple rash making its way up his body. Is this what will kill him? Then a strange man shows up at his funeral, claiming to have known Denton's long-deceased mother, and warning him to beware of suspicious characters . . . Suddenly Denton's life is filled with mysterious questions and precious little time to find the answers. Debut author Lance Rubin takes us on a fast, gripping, and outrageously funny ride through the last hours of a teenager's life as he searches for love, meaning and (just maybe) a way to live on . . .
The Teacher's Funeral
Author: Richard Peck
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101200480
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 225
Book Description
If your teacher has to die, August isn't a bad time of year for it," begins Richard Peck's latest novel, a book full of his signature wit and sass. Russell Culver is fifteen in 1904, and he's raring to leave his tiny Indiana farm town for the endless sky of the Dakotas. To him, school has been nothing but a chain holding him back from his dreams. Maybe now that his teacher has passed on, they'll shut the school down entirely and leave him free to roam. No such luck. Russell has a particularly eventful season of schooling ahead of him, led by a teacher he never could have predicted-perhaps the only teacher equipped to control the likes of him: his sister Tansy. Despite stolen supplies, a privy fire, and more than any classroom's share of snakes, Tansy will manage to keep that school alive and maybe, just maybe, set her brother on a new, wiser course.
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101200480
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 225
Book Description
If your teacher has to die, August isn't a bad time of year for it," begins Richard Peck's latest novel, a book full of his signature wit and sass. Russell Culver is fifteen in 1904, and he's raring to leave his tiny Indiana farm town for the endless sky of the Dakotas. To him, school has been nothing but a chain holding him back from his dreams. Maybe now that his teacher has passed on, they'll shut the school down entirely and leave him free to roam. No such luck. Russell has a particularly eventful season of schooling ahead of him, led by a teacher he never could have predicted-perhaps the only teacher equipped to control the likes of him: his sister Tansy. Despite stolen supplies, a privy fire, and more than any classroom's share of snakes, Tansy will manage to keep that school alive and maybe, just maybe, set her brother on a new, wiser course.
Funerals to Die For
Author: Kathy Benjamin
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 144055708X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 227
Book Description
True stories that put the, er, "fun" back into funerals! The hereafter may still be part of the great unknown, but with Funerals to Die For you can unearth the rich--and often, dark--history of funeral rites. From getting a portrait painted with a loved one's ashes to purchasing a safety coffin complete with bells and breathing tubes, this book takes you on a whirlwind tour of funeral customs and trivia from all over the globe. Inside, you'll find more than 100 unbelievable traditions, practices, and facts, such as: The remains of a loved one can be launched into deep space for only $1,000. In Taiwan, strippers are hired to entertain funeral guests throughout the ceremony. Undertakers for the Tongan royal family weren't allowed to use their hands for 100 days after preparing a king's body. In the late 1800s, New Englanders would gulp down a cocktail of water and their family member's ashes in order to keep them from returning as vampires. Whether you fear being buried alive or just have a morbid curiosity of the other side, Funerals to Die For examines what may happen when another person dies.
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 144055708X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 227
Book Description
True stories that put the, er, "fun" back into funerals! The hereafter may still be part of the great unknown, but with Funerals to Die For you can unearth the rich--and often, dark--history of funeral rites. From getting a portrait painted with a loved one's ashes to purchasing a safety coffin complete with bells and breathing tubes, this book takes you on a whirlwind tour of funeral customs and trivia from all over the globe. Inside, you'll find more than 100 unbelievable traditions, practices, and facts, such as: The remains of a loved one can be launched into deep space for only $1,000. In Taiwan, strippers are hired to entertain funeral guests throughout the ceremony. Undertakers for the Tongan royal family weren't allowed to use their hands for 100 days after preparing a king's body. In the late 1800s, New Englanders would gulp down a cocktail of water and their family member's ashes in order to keep them from returning as vampires. Whether you fear being buried alive or just have a morbid curiosity of the other side, Funerals to Die For examines what may happen when another person dies.
Confessions of a Funeral Director
Author: Caleb Wilde
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062465260
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 164
Book Description
“Wise, vulnerable, and surprisingly relatable . . . funny in all the right places and enormously helpful throughout. It will change how you think about death.” —Rachel Held Evans, New York Times–bestselling author of Searching for Sunday We are a people who deeply fear death. While humans are biologically wired to evade death for as long as possible, we have become too adept at hiding from it, vilifying it, and—when it can be avoided no longer—letting the professionals take over. Sixth-generation funeral director Caleb Wilde understands this reticence and fear. He had planned to get as far away from the family business as possible. He wanted to make a difference in the world, and how could he do that if all the people he worked with were . . . dead? Slowly, he discovered that caring for the deceased and their loved ones was making a difference—in other people’s lives to be sure, but it also seemed to be saving his own. A spirituality of death began to emerge as he observed the family who lovingly dressed their deceased father for his burial; the nursing home that honored a woman’s life by standing in procession as her body was taken away; the funeral that united a conflicted community. Through stories like these, told with equal parts humor and poignancy, Wilde’s candid memoir offers an intimate look into the business of death and a new perspective on living and dying. “Open[s] up conversations about life’s ultimate concerns.” —The Washington Post “As a look behind the closed doors of the death industry, as well as a candid exploration of Wilde’s own faith journey, this book is fascinating and compelling.” —National Catholic Reporter “[A] stunner of a debut.” —Rachel Held Evans, author of Inspired
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062465260
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 164
Book Description
“Wise, vulnerable, and surprisingly relatable . . . funny in all the right places and enormously helpful throughout. It will change how you think about death.” —Rachel Held Evans, New York Times–bestselling author of Searching for Sunday We are a people who deeply fear death. While humans are biologically wired to evade death for as long as possible, we have become too adept at hiding from it, vilifying it, and—when it can be avoided no longer—letting the professionals take over. Sixth-generation funeral director Caleb Wilde understands this reticence and fear. He had planned to get as far away from the family business as possible. He wanted to make a difference in the world, and how could he do that if all the people he worked with were . . . dead? Slowly, he discovered that caring for the deceased and their loved ones was making a difference—in other people’s lives to be sure, but it also seemed to be saving his own. A spirituality of death began to emerge as he observed the family who lovingly dressed their deceased father for his burial; the nursing home that honored a woman’s life by standing in procession as her body was taken away; the funeral that united a conflicted community. Through stories like these, told with equal parts humor and poignancy, Wilde’s candid memoir offers an intimate look into the business of death and a new perspective on living and dying. “Open[s] up conversations about life’s ultimate concerns.” —The Washington Post “As a look behind the closed doors of the death industry, as well as a candid exploration of Wilde’s own faith journey, this book is fascinating and compelling.” —National Catholic Reporter “[A] stunner of a debut.” —Rachel Held Evans, author of Inspired