The Government Manual for New Wizards

Author: Matthew David Brozik
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740789120
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 196

Book Description
The comedic duo behind The Government Manual for New Superheroes is back, and this time they've brought their magic wands and enchanted artifacts. The Government Manual for New Wizards is a hilarious, mock-official handbook for wannabe witches and warlocks who need advice on recognizing the onset of wizardolescence, understanding the laws of magic (and the magic of laws), choosing (or being chosen by) the right magical items and enchanted artifacts, dealing with the dead (grateful and otherwise), successfully hosting magical exhibitions, and the proper care and feeding of magical creatures. Wands, charms, cloaks of invisibility, shoes of stealth (or sneakers), and other otherworldly accoutrements--it's all here, discussed tongue-in-cheek but with the utmost Governmental authority. This entertaining guide offers such sage advice as: * A demon is just as afraid of you as you are of it--provided, of course, that you are eight feet tall, composed of living fire, and capable of destroying a small village with a single angry thought. Otherwise, it doesn't find you frightening at all. * When selecting educational programs, do not be tempted by solicitations from wizardry parchment mills. A so-called degree from such a place is not worth the scroll on which it appears to be inscribed. The ink will disappear not long after the school itself does. The Government Manual for New Wizards is a sidesplitting spoof of all things wizard-y.

The Government Manual for New Superheroes

Author: Matthew David Brozik
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740789090
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 161

Book Description
The government provides manuals for new home-owners and new motor vehicle operators, but what's a new superhero to do? Ka-POW! The Government Manual for New Superheroes rushes in to save the day! The Government Manual for New Superheroes is a hilarious, mock-official handbook that offers thorough, accessible, and completely zany advice for anyone who has always dreamed of donning a skintight spandex uniform and leaping across the rooftops of their cities. Going well beyond tights and capes, this manual provides insight into choosing a name, constructing a costume, choosing the right supertools of the supertrade, establishing a base of operations, maintaining a secret identity, taking or becoming a sidekick, joining a superheroic team, and even finding that special someone who gives meaning to a superhero's life--a nemesis. Extra features include a roster of superhero unions, a registration application, several useful charts and tips, and even a list of other government-sponsored periodicals for further reading. Destined to become a cult classic, The Government Manual for New Superheroes is an essential guide for every aspiring superhero.

The Government Manual for New Pirates

Author: Matthew David Brozik
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740789236
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 144

Book Description
There be no callin' 'dibs' in piratin'. Booty be divided among the crew, from the lowest deckswabber to the highest masthand. So says the Pirate Code." --Calico Jack Rackham, king of the pirates * Enjoy a witty mock-official handbook for potential pirates and plunderers. Matthew David Brozik and Jacob Sager Weinstein continue to spoof those uber-utilitarian survival and how-to guides by offering this pithy pirating primer for budding buccaneers. This treasure trove of Pirate Code imparts wisdom on eye patches and tricorner hats, talking the talk, walking the walk (down the plank, that is), appropriate ship names, dueling, avoiding cursed treasure, and much more.

The Ultimate Guide to the Harry Potter Fandom

Author: Erin Anne Pyne
Publisher: What The Flux Comics Publis
ISBN: 1450745601
Category : Fans (Persons)
Languages : en
Pages : 329

Book Description

How Not to Kill Your Baby

Author: Jacob Sager Weinstein
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449409911
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 137

Book Description
This tongue-in-cheek parenting book is a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual parents have ever cringed over.

Alice + Freda Forever

Author: Alexis Coe
Publisher: Millbrook Press
ISBN: 1541581679
Category : Young Adult Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 280

Book Description
Alice + Freda Forever is a gut-wrenching story of love, death, and the dangers of intolerance."—Bustle In 1892, America was obsessed with a teenage murderess, but it wasn't her crime that shocked the nation—it was her motivation. Nineteen-year-old Alice Mitchell had planned to pass as a man in order to marry her seventeen-year-old fiancée Freda Ward, but when their love letters were discovered, they were forbidden from ever speaking again. Freda adjusted to this fate with an ease that stunned a heartbroken Alice. Her desperation grew with each unanswered letter—and her father's razor soon went missing. On January 25, Alice publicly slashed her ex-fiancée's throat. Her same-sex love was deemed insane by her father that very night, and medical experts agreed: This was a dangerous and incurable perversion. As the courtroom was expanded to accommodate national interest, Alice spent months in jail—including the night that three of her fellow prisoners were lynched (an event which captured the attention of journalist and civil rights activist Ida B. Wells). After a jury of "the finest men in Memphis" declared Alice insane, she was remanded to an asylum, where she died under mysterious circumstances just a few years later. Alice + Freda Forever recounts this tragic, real-life love story with over 100 illustrated love letters, maps, artifacts, historical documents, newspaper articles, courtroom proceedings, and intimate, domestic scenes.

A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking

Author: T. Kingfisher
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781614505242
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :

Book Description
Fourteen-year-old Mona isn't like the wizards charged with defending the city. She can't control lightning or speak to water. Her familiar is a sourdough starter and her magic only works on bread. She has a comfortable life in her aunt's bakery making gingerbread men dance.But Mona's life is turned upside down when she finds a dead body on the bakery floor. An assassin is stalking the streets of Mona's city, preying on magic folk, and it appears that Mona is his next target. And in an embattled city suddenly bereft of wizards, the assassin may be the least of Mona's worries¿

The Little SAS Enterprise Guide Book

Author: Susan J. Slaughter
Publisher: SAS Institute
ISBN: 1629608882
Category : Computers
Languages : en
Pages : 330

Book Description
Learning to use SAS Enterprise Guide has never been easier! Whether you are using SAS Enterprise Guide for the first time, or are looking to expand your skills, this is the book for you! With The Little SAS Enterprise Guide Book, award-winning authors Susan Slaughter and Lora Delwiche help you quickly become productive in the SAS Enterprise Guide point-and-click environment. A series of carefully designed tutorials help you master the basics of the tasks you'll want to do most frequently. The reference section of the book expands on the tutorial topics, covering specific features in more depth. This edition has been completely rewritten, and updated with new features in SAS Enterprise Guide.

The Young Lawyer's Jungle Book

Author: Thane Josef Messinger
Publisher: Fine Print Press, Limited
ISBN: 9781888960198
Category : Law firms
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Who can forget the terror of a new job? Entering an unfamiliar world, with unknown expectations, is a nerve-wracking experience. In law, the new attorney is tackling not only a new job but also a very new, very different, and exceptionally stress-filled professional life...and mountains of student debt. Each year, tens of thousands of new law graduates enter an already saturated job market...yet many are ill-prepared for survival in an ever more unforgiving, fast-paced profession. As law students, you're offered a wide array of guidebooks to succeed in law school, to excel in law exams, and to pass the bar exam. Upon entering the real world of law, however, you're are pushed back into a dark, dangerous jungle. The Young Lawyer's Jungle Book will be your guide to help you find your way to safety and career success.

Computerworld

Author:
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 112

Book Description
For more than 40 years, Computerworld has been the leading source of technology news and information for IT influencers worldwide. Computerworld's award-winning Web site (Computerworld.com), twice-monthly publication, focused conference series and custom research form the hub of the world's largest global IT media network.