The Merry Spinster

Author: Daniel M. Lavery
Publisher: Holt Paperbacks
ISBN: 1250113423
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 208

Book Description
From Mallory Ortberg comes a collection of darkly mischievous stories based on classic fairy tales. Adapted from the beloved "Children's Stories Made Horrific" series, "The Merry Spinster" takes up the trademark wit that endeared Ortberg to readers of both The Toast and the best-selling debut Texts From Jane Eyre. The feature has become among the most popular on the site, with each entry bringing in tens of thousands of views, as the stories proved a perfect vehicle for Ortberg's eye for deconstruction and destabilization. Sinister and inviting, familiar and alien all at the same time, The Merry Spinster updates traditional children's stories and fairy tales with elements of psychological horror, emotional clarity, and a keen sense of feminist mischief. Readers of The Toast will instantly recognize Ortberg's boisterous good humor and uber-nerd swagger: those new to Ortberg's oeuvre will delight in this collection's unique spin on fiction, where something a bit mischievous and unsettling is always at work just beneath the surface. Unfalteringly faithful to its beloved source material, The Merry Spinster also illuminates the unsuspected, and frequently, alarming emotional complexities at play in the stories we tell ourselves, and each other, as we tuck ourselves in for the night. Bed time will never be the same.

Something That May Shock and Discredit You

Author: Daniel M. Lavery
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1982105232
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 256

Book Description
“One of our smartest, most inventive humor writers, Ortberg combines bathos and the devotional into a revelation.” —Jordy Rosenberg, The New York Times Book Review From the New York Times bestselling author of Texts From Jane Eyre and Merry Spinster, writer of Slate’s “Dear Prudence” column, and cofounder of The Toast comes a hilarious and stirring collection of essays and cultural observations spanning pop culture—from the endearingly popular to the staggeringly obscure. Daniel M. Lavery is known for blending genres, forms, and sources to develop fascinating new hybrids—from lyric rants to horror recipes to pornographic scripture. In his most personal work to date, he turns his attention to the essay, offering vigorous and laugh-out-loud funny accounts of both popular and highbrow culture while mixing in meditations on gender transition, family dynamics, and the many meanings of faith. From a thoughtful analysis of the beauty of William Shatner to a sinister reimagining of HGTV’s House Hunters, and featuring figures as varied as Anne of Green Gables, Columbo, Nora Ephron, Apollo, and the cast of Mean Girls, Something That May Shock and Discredit You is a hilarious and emotionally exhilarating compendium that combines personal history with cultural history to make you see yourself and those around you entirely anew. It further establishes Lavery as one of the most innovative and engaging voices of his generation—and it may just change the way you think about Lord Byron forever.

The Spinster and I

Author: Rebecca Connolly
Publisher: Phase Publishing
ISBN: 9781943048700
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 278

Book Description
Poor, unfortunate Spinster... Prudence Westfall, spinster, has unexpectedly had the greatest misfortune of all: she has inherited a fortune, and is now an heiress. But as a Spinster, and a stammering shy one, nothing could be worse than having a bevy of suitors pay her attention. Opportunity strikes at a house party when the most unlikely person offers the perfect solution. Camden Vale is no gentleman, and he's not prone to saving anyone, but something about Prue changes all that. When his offer to befriend her extends beyond the house party, and his feelings extend beyond expectation, no one is more surprised than he. Except, perhaps, for the other Spinsters, and they have much to say on the subject.

God Rest Ye Merry Spinster

Author: Rebecca Connolly
Publisher: Spinster Chronicles, Book
ISBN: 9781943048984
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 144

Book Description
Christmas is here, and Elinor Asheley's entire family has gathered at their country estate to celebrate. But when her arch nemesis arrives at the estate by chance, warm wishes and the holiday spirit are the last things on her mind. Elinor is determined to protect her family from him no matter how changed he claims to be. When the winter weather strands Hugh Sterling at the estate of the woman who hates him most in the world, his only wish is to escape the place unscathed. He is not the man he once was, and he will do everything he can to prove that to Elinor. But nothing can prepare him for the changes that spending his holiday with her will bring.

My Fair Spinster

Author: Rebecca Connolly
Publisher: Spinster Chronicles, Book
ISBN: 9781943048885
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 298

Book Description
The Spinster next door... Grace Morledge is a failure. Or so her father believes, as she is unmarried despite her many advantages. In his mind, Grace must have significant flaws to be a spinster, and something must be done about them. To her mortification, he demands she be fully examined and all her flaws recorded. And the man he chooses is the worst possible candidate of all. Aubrey Flint, Lord Ingram, has known Grace since childhood, but he never anticipated Lord Trenwick demand he examine her for flaws. How can perfection have faults? Reluctantly, he accepts the assignment and finds far more than he bargained for, as perfection becomes more and more tempting.

Texts from Jane Eyre

Author: Daniel Mallory Ortberg
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1472150740
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 238

Book Description
Mallory Ortberg presents... Texts from Jane Eyre is a whimsical collection of sharp, satirical and side-splittingly funny text message conversations from your favourite literary characters. Of course if Scarlett O'Hara had an unlimited data plan, she'd be sexting Ashley Wilkes at all hours; and if Mr Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ARDENT MISSIVES would be in ALL-CAPS; and Daisy Buchanan would text you from behind the wheel - and then text you to come pick her up after the car crash. Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, original and very clever kind of mashup that brings your favourite authors and literary characters right into the twenty-first century. Mallory Ortberg is a genius.

Spinster Ever After

Author: Rebecca Connolly
Publisher: Phase Publishing
ISBN: 9781952103179
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 264

Book Description
When a man loves a spinster... Charlotte Wright has had enough. All of her friends have now married, leaving her the lone writer of the Spinster Chronicles who is still a true spinster. So she's decided it is time for her to join the ranks and get married, groom to be determined. She's an heiress, after all. How difficult could it be to find a husband? Michael Sandford has been there by Charlotte's side from the very beginning, loving her all the while even when she turned down his proposal. When she tells him of her plans to marry and marry soon, he begins to make plans himself. He cannot stand by and watch her marry someone else, so he's decided to distance himself from Charlotte entirely while she hunts for a husband... one that is not him. And Charlotte doesn't like that one bit.

We Wish You a Merry Murder

Author: Valerie Wolzien
Publisher: Fawcett
ISBN: 9780449147238
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 294

Book Description
Although Kelly Knowlson firmly thought her newly remarried ex-husband, Evan, would return to her, did she set him by the fire, egg nog by his side, THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS in his hands, and put a bullet in his head? By the time the police show up, the body is gone, so of course Kelly is the prime suspect. Between molding cheese balls and salmon mousse for a holiday dinner, suburban sleuth Susan Henshaw fits in a little yultetide detecting to discover if Kelly Knowlson iced her ex. And if not, who would dare send such an uncharitable Christmas greeting...'

Resisting Miss Merryweather

Author: Emily Larkin
Publisher: Emily Larkin
ISBN: 0994138423
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 158

Book Description
Is he a villain or a hero? Sir Barnaby Ware made a mistake two and a half years ago. A massive mistake. A mistake that can never be atoned for. He knows himself to be irredeemable, but the captivating and unconventional Miss Merryweather is determined to prove him wrong. The daughter of a dancing master and a noblewoman, Miss Merryweather had an unusual upbringing. She sees things that no one else sees and she says things that no one else says. Sir Barnaby knows he’s the villain in this piece, but Miss Merryweather thinks he’s the hero and she is damnably hard to resist… Length: Novella of 33,000 words Sensuality level: A hot Regency romance with steamy love scenes The second book in the multi award-winning Baleful Godmother series by USA TODAY bestselling author Emily Larkin. If you love entertaining, emotional, and heartwarming historical romances that will keep you reading all night long, then this series is for you. Be swept into a Regency England brimming with passion and peril, magic and love. Start this addictive series today!

Gentlemen Prefer Spinsters

Author: Samantha Holt
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781987516111
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 242

Book Description
The first rule of the Spinsters Club is: You do not talk about the Spinsters Club.The second rule of the Spinsters Club is: You do not talk about the Spinsters Club.The third rule...Well, Merry understands the rules of the Spinsters Club fully, considering it was her idea in the first place. When one of her good friends loses her heart to an utter rogue and is ruined forever, she's determined that the life of a spinster is for her. Thankfully, she's not alone. Her three dearest friends have had their share of heartbreak and resolve to join her. No matter what the demanding mamas and papas of the world say, they will not give up their spinsterhood.Particularly not to the handsome Lord Harcourt Easton, the Earl of Langley. Merry has always liked Harcourt-after all he is her brother's best friend-but she cannot fathom his sudden interest in her. After all, he was well known to be quite the rogue at times and she's hardly the sort to attract the attention of a rake. But Harcourt has loved Merry for some time now. And he's determined to make her see that. If only he could get past this stubborn determination that she should never marry and convince her he's the man for her.The death of her father and some strange incidents that put Merry in danger might not be ideal circumstances to woo a woman, but Harcourt is willing to make the best of a dire situation-especially while Merry needs a shoulder to cry on. Harcourt could well be the most amazing man she knows, and Merry cannot help but be grateful for his support, but she cannot very well turn her back on the Spinsters Club so soon...can she?