67 People I'd Like To Slap

Author: Ian Collins
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
ISBN: 178590227X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 294

Book Description
67 People I'd Like to Slap is one man's journey through the labyrinthine world of human angst and annoyance. The comedy writer, broadcaster and journalist Ian Collins lists, exposes and mocks that irritating contingent of the human race whose job, it seems, is to make life just a tad more infuriating than it needs to be. From psychics to exotic pet owners, Brits using chopsticks and over-35s at music festivals, through to middle-class protesters, elderly people in small cars and the billion cringe-crimes that are committed on social media every day (plus a healthy dose of well-known names too), Collins's often brutal but hilarious search into the pit of human idiocy leaves few stones unturned. He also addresses some of life's most serious questions: - Is Jeremy Clarkson part of a completely different gene pool? - What happens when you upset every Beyoncé fan on the planet? - Why is Andrew Marr's sofa an affront to intelligent thinking? - How could a nice guy like Benedict Cumberbatch annoy anyone? - Has social media shrunk our brains? - What happens to a sense of shame when men visit the gym? Part polemic and part diary, Collins spent a year documenting all those areas (and people) that could bug the hell out of the calmest of souls. Armed only with a sensible pen, notepad and a standard High Street blood pressure monitor, he sets out to create the ultimate list. In the author's words, 67 People I'd Like to Slap is the non-negotiable oracle of all things bamboozling when it comes to human behaviour - the definitive guide that no sane person could ever argue against. Or could you...?

Not in Front of the Corgis

Author: Brian Hoey
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
ISBN: 1849542481
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 194

Book Description
The Windsors are England's most famous family, but what are they really like when they're out of the public gaze? Behind closed doors in every Royal residence, from Buckingham Palace to Clarence House, there are two families - one upstairs and one down - and nobody knows a Royal quite like a Royal servant, intimately acquainted as they are with every quirk, foible and eccentricity. And there are a fair few! This is the inside story of the Royal Family through the eyes of those who know them best, a sneak peek behind the ermine-trimmed curtains to reveal what they really get up to in their spare time. Are they just like us? Or are they are a world apart? Here are the answers to everything we've ever wondered about the Royals: which programmes does the Queen watch on TV? What music did the Queen Mother listen to? Who can drive and who can't? What is it like to attend a dinner party thrown by Charles and Camilla? Who are the most popular (and most unpopular!) Royals to work for and why? Not in Front of the Corgis is the real Upstairs Downstairs - a unique and fascinating collection of all the secrets you ever wanted to know about the Royal Family.

Grave Tidings

Author: Paul Berra
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
ISBN: 1785901443
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 188

Book Description
"You see! This is how you die." - Coco Chanel "Shoot straight, you bastards! Don't make a mess of it!" - Breaker Morant "If any of you have a message for the devil, give it to me, for I am about to meet him!" - Lavinia Fisher "I am dying. Please... bring me a toothpick. " - Alfred Jarry Funny, reflective, scornful or delirious, we are fascinated by famous last words because, humanity in extremis, they seem to tell us something about ourselves. Featuring lovers, killers, artists, traitors, spies, rulers, poets and pariahs, this thoughtful volume brings together the hedonists and the fatalists, the pragmatists and the optimists in a collection of famous last utterances - and the stories behind them - from throughout history.

The Immoralist

Author: André Gide
Publisher: Courier Corporation
ISBN: 0486426955
Category : Foreign Language Study
Languages : en
Pages : 210

Book Description
A travelling hedonist attempts to transcend the limitations of conventional morality by surrendering to his appetites in this well-known work by a master of modern French literature. Much acclaimed for his perception and purity of style, André Gide (1869-1951) received the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1947. In The Immoralist, his classic examination of individual freedom and identity, he fuses autobiographical elements with both biblical and classical symbolism. Stanley Appelbaum skillfully preserves the passion and intensity of the original in his new English translation.

Croak

Author: Gina Damico
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN: 0547608322
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 324

Book Description
A delinquent sixteen-year-old girl is sent to live with her uncle for the summer, only to learn that he is a Grim Reaper who wants to teach her the family business.

Flipped

Author: Wendelin Van Draanen
Publisher: Ember
ISBN: 0375825444
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 259

Book Description
A classic he-said-she-said romantic comedy! This updated anniversary edition offers story-behind-the-story revelations from author Wendelin Van Draanen. The first time she saw him, she flipped. The first time he saw her, he ran. That was the second grade, but not much has changed by the seventh. Juli says: “My Bryce. Still walking around with my first kiss.” He says: “It’s been six years of strategic avoidance and social discomfort.” But in the eighth grade everything gets turned upside down: just as Bryce is thinking that there’s maybe more to Juli than meets the eye, she’s thinking that he’s not quite all he seemed. This is a classic romantic comedy of errors told in alternating chapters by two fresh, funny voices. The updated anniversary edition contains 32 pages of extra backmatter: essays from Wendelin Van Draanen on her sources of inspiration, on the making of the movie of Flipped, on why she’ll never write a sequel, and a selection of the amazing fan mail she’s received. Awards and accolades for Flipped: SLJ Top 100 Children’s Novels of all time IRA-CBC Children’s Choice IRA Teacher’s Choice Honor winner, Judy Lopez Memorial Award/WNBA Winner of the California Young Reader Medal “We flipped over this fantastic book, its gutsy girl Juli and its wise, wonderful ending.” — The Chicago Tribune “Van Draanen has another winner in this eighth-grade ‘he-said, she-said’ romance. A fast, funny, egg-cellent winner.” — SLJ, Starred review “With a charismatic leading lady kids will flip over, a compelling dynamic between the two narrators and a resonant ending, this novel is a great deal larger than the sum of its parts.” —Publishers Weekly, Starred review

A Slap in the Face

Author: William B. Irvine
Publisher: Oxford University Press
ISBN: 0190665041
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 260

Book Description
n A Slap in the Face, William Irvine undertakes a wide-ranging investigation of insults, their history, the role they play in social relationships, and the science behind them. He offers advice, based primarily on the writings of the Stoic philosophers, on how best to curb our own insulting tendencies and how to respond to the insults that are directed our way. A rousing follow-up to The Good Life, A Slap in the Face will interest anyone who's ever delivered an insult or felt the sting of one--in other words, everyone.

Confessions of a High School Disaster

Author: Emma Chastain
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1481488759
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 352

Book Description
"Chloe Snow chonicles a year in her high school life, sharing the highs and lows of family, friendship, school, and love"--

I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die

Author: Sarah J. Robinson
Publisher: WaterBrook
ISBN: 0593193539
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 257

Book Description
A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.

5,000 Great One Liners

Author: Grant Tucker
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
ISBN: 1849544824
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 355

Book Description
My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller. I'll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, 'Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?' Whether told in the rugby clubs of Wales or the gentlemen's clubs of London, their sharpness and simplicity unites us all. Short, sweet and wickedly clever, they hold a special place in the annals of comedy, and as the Twitter age heralds a resurrection of the art form, there seems no better time to celebrate the immortal one-liner. In this riveting read, Times diary columnist Grant Tucker does just that, bringing together 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever told in one definitive volume. Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more.