Daddy, Stop Talking!

Author: Adam Carolla
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062394274
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 229

Book Description
Last Will & Testament of Adam Carolla I, Adam Carolla, being of beaten-down mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and addendums previously made by me. (You guys never did listen, anyway.) Article I I appoint the rest of the world's unappreciated dads as Personal Representatives to administer this Will. I bequeath to them the right to crack a couple cold ones in the garage after working their asses off all week and ask that they be permitted to watch all the porn they like and not have to change diapers and get dragged to every preschool "graduation" and PTA meeting. Article II To my wife, I leave a safe-deposit box, the sole content of which is a note reading "Get a job. I'm dead," and my best wishes on trying to keep up with the unending demands of our houses, cars, dog, and kids. Article III I devise, bequeath, and give my kids this book, Daddy, Stop Talking. Since you guys were the death of me, I leave you these pages of wisdom. But no cash, cars, or property. You've got to earn those. On that note, I further demand that the following message be placed on the marker of my grave: "You're All on Your Own Now. Enjoy."

President Me

Author: Adam Carolla
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062320424
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 289

Book Description
My fellow Americans, President John F. Kennedy once famously said, "Hey, is that blond intern eighteen yet?" He also said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country." We've changed a lot since JFK asked us all to pitch in. We've become a nation of narcissistic, yoga-mat-toting, service-dog-having, absentee dads and gluten-free, hand-wringing, hypochondriac moms of overcaffeinated (yet somehow still lazy) twerking tweens. And our government is an inept bureaucracy incapable of doing anything except getting in our wallets and in our way. We've got to get it together, America. That is why I, Adam Carolla, hereby declare myself Candidate Carolla. The tome you hold in your hands is a statement of my intent to whip our country back into fighting shape, to eliminate the "what are you going to do for me?" mentality that has invaded our country. President Me is my manifesto, my vision for a better place . . . free of Big Government, barefoot fliers, lazy hipsters who'd rather "Occupy" than work, and the other things that are bringing our country down. With my cabinet appointees, my list of worthy and necessary presidential ManDates, and tons of great ideas for fixing our health care, education, energy, and even national parks systems . . . behold an America we can be proud of. The America I see in my head. You're welcome in advance. Your future leader, Adam

Daddy, Daddy Please Stop Drinking

Author: Robb Kelly
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781702575867
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 284

Book Description
Daddy, Daddy Please Stop Drinking chronicles the true life story of my personal fight from homeless alcoholic to living a life beyond my wildest dreams. My name is Dr. Robb Kelly and today I run a successful alcohol and addiction recovery business but I had to travel to hell and back to make me the man I am today. I am not sure when I crossed the line from social drinking to alcoholism, I just know I did and my life would never be the same again. I was married with children and had a great career, life could not have been better. The only problem is that I drank too much, and when I did I lost control. When I enjoyed my drinking I couldn't control it, and when I controlled my drinking I couldn't enjoy it. Finally, alcoholism gripped me hard and like most people I sank really quickly.I lost everything: my business, my home, my wife, and most importantly my two young daughters. I had a PhD from Oxford University but went from a comfortable home to homelessness and lived on the mean streets of Manchester England for a year asking for handouts to purchase liquor. While homeless, I was arrested several times, prone to blackouts that lasted for weeks, and was assaulted physically and sexually. I have had several near brushes with death, including an attempted suicide. So great was my despair of my alcoholic and addictive condition that I just wanted to die.On a cold and wet English night, I fell to my knees and begged God to help me find a way from the endless nightmare that was my existence and moments later a man carrying a bible rounded the corner and offered me a helping hand. My plea that cold night opened the door to sobriety and I found the answer I was looking for. To my amazement it had been there all along, I just had to hit rock bottom before I would accept it. Since recovering from a hopeless state of alcoholism, it has become my life mission to assist other hopeless, chronic alcoholics and addicts and educate all I could on the dangers and warning signs of alcohol and addiction. That is my purpose and my passion, to assist the still struggling alcoholic and addict recover their lives. I was an alcoholic whose symptoms and not my disease were treated every trip to hospital. My gripping story of success to failure to success proves that it's never too late to recover your life from alcoholism and addiction. Everyone had written me off as dead twenty years ago but I'm still standing and I have one hell of a story to share. If you're struggling with drug and alcohol abuse yourself or are the loved one of an alcoholic or addict, this book will inspire you to never give up hope. Today, I'm living the dream instead of dreaming to live.

Not Taco Bell Material

Author: Adam Carolla
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0307888886
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 338

Book Description
Now in paperback, Adam Carolla takes us back--before Loveline and The Man Show, before the Guinness World Record-breaking podcast and the New York Times bestseller In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks--to reveal all the stories behind how he came to be the angry middle-aged man he is today. Funnyman Adam Carolla is known for two things: hilarious rants about things that drive him crazy and personal stories about everything from his hardscrabble childhood to his slacker friends to the hypocrisy of Hollywood. He tackled rants in his first book, and now he tells his best stories, debuting some never-before-heard tales as well. Organized by the myriad "dumps" Carolla called home as a child to the flophouse apartments he rented in his twenties, up to the homes he personally renovated after achieving success in Hollywood, the anecdotes here follow Adam's journey and the hilarious pitfalls along the way. Adam Carolla started broke and blue collar and has now been on the Hollywood scene for more than fifteen years. Yet he's still connected to the working-class guy he once was and delivers a raw and edgy, fish-out-of-water take on the world he lives in (but mostly disagrees with), telling all the stories, no matter who he offends--family, friends, or the famous.

Dirty Daddy

Author: Bob Saget
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062274805
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 223

Book Description
Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats. In his bold and wildly entertaining publishing debut, he continues to embrace his dark side and gives readers the book they have long been waiting for—hilarious and often dirty. Bob believes there's a time and a place for filth. From his never-before-heard stories of what really went on behind the scenes of two of the most successful family shows of all times, with co-stars like John Stamos and Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, to his tales of legendary friends and colleagues like Rodney Dangerfield, Richard Pryor, Don Rickles, and other show business legends, Saget opens up about some of his personal experiences with life and death, his career, and his reputation for sick humor—all with his highly original blend of silliness, vulgarity, humor and heart, and all framed by a man who loves being funny above all else.

Cool Daddy Rat

Author: Kristyn Crow
Publisher: Putnam Publishing Group
ISBN: 9780399243752
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 32

Book Description
A young rat hides in his father's bass case and tags along as he plays and scats around the big city.

Dad, How Do I?

Author: Rob Kenney
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0063075032
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 230

Book Description
From the host of the YouTube channel that went viral—Dad, How Do I?—comes a book that’s part memoir/part inspiration/part DIY. Rob Kenney’s father left him and his seven siblings when he was fourteen years old, and the youngest had to fend for themselves. He wished that he had someone who could teach him the basics—how to tie a tie, jump-start a car, unclog a drain, use tools properly—as well as succeed in life. But he and his siblings had to figure these things out on their own. Now a father himself, Rob decided that he would help people out by providing how-to tips as well as advice—and even throw in some bad dad jokes. He started a YouTube channel for anyone looking for fatherly advice, and in the course of three months, gained a following of nearly 2.5 million subscribers, with millions of views for his how-to and inspirational videos. In this book, Rob shares his story of overcoming a difficult childhood with the strength of faith and family, and offers inspiration and hope. In addition, he provides 50 practical DYI instructions (30 of which will be unique to the book), illustrated with helpful line drawings.

Is Daddy Coming Back in a Minute?

Author: Elke Barber
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
ISBN: 1784503711
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 39

Book Description
When we were on a No Girls Allowed! holiday, my daddy's heart stopped beating and I had to find help all by myself. He was very badly broken. Not even the ambulance people could help him... This honest, sensitive and beautifully illustrated picture book is designed to help explain the concept of death to children aged 3+. Written in Alex's own words, it is based on the real-life conversations that Elke Barber had with her then three-year-old son, Alex, after the sudden death of his father. The book provides reassurance and understanding to readers through clear and honest answers to the difficult questions that can follow the death of a loved one, and carries the invaluable message that it is okay to be sad, but it is okay to be happy, too.

Daddy

Author: Jack Harbon
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781700174567
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 350

Book Description
Mateo put his entire life on hold when he found out that his father's Alzheimer's had gotten worse. He dropped all of his textbooks and returned home despite his dreams of graduation, never once complaining about the turn of events. It was his duty as a Rosales to provide for his family. So, back to East L.A., back to another job in retail, and back to basics.But when Mateo's best friend signs him up for SweetDates.com, a website for older men and younger singles to exchange money for companionship, his life takes a sudden turn. Soon he finds himself talking with the charming, gorgeous millionaire Arthur Danby, and forced to face the uncomfortable moral soul-searching of this new relationship.Could he really put a monetary value on his time? Is the stubborn pride instilled in him since childhood worth more than feeding his family? And despite the alluring look in his eye, is Arthur hiding something dark?

Daddy's Promise

Author: Cindy Klein Cohen
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780965649803
Category : Death
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Jesse is a little boy who learns about death when his father dies.