Kinky Friedman's Guide to Texas Etiquette

Kinky Friedman's Guide to Texas Etiquette PDF Author: Kinky Friedman
Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks
ISBN: 9780060935351
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 224

Book Description
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit! Delivering belly laughs, hee-haws, and downright slackjaw amazement, this hilarious guide to the homeland of George W. and Willie Nelson is the essential how-to for surviving in the Lone Star State. From strange Texas laws and the history of Dr. Pepper to "Texas Talk" (in which a "turd floater" is a heavy downpour) and final-meal requests by death row inmates, Kinky Friedman, "the oldest living Jew in Texas who doesn't own any real estate," provides an insider's guide that will be loved by native Texans and the rest of us poor devils alike. Even if you don't know the difference between an Aggie and an armadillo -- or what's really in the back on Willie Nelson's tour bus -- you can pass for a Texan with the Kinkster's expert coaching. So grab your hairspray and the keys to the Cadillac and get reading!

What Would Kinky Do?

What Would Kinky Do? PDF Author: Kinky Friedman
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 1429928875
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 225

Book Description
Kinky Friedman, who would be our contemporary Will Rogers if Will Rogers had been Jewish, smoked cigars, and foolish enough to believe he could govern the great state of Texas, returns with this collection of hilariously raunchy, sometimes poignant, and always insightful essays. With fearless wit and wisdom born from many a late night's experience, Kinky offers both pearls and cowpats that touch on life, death, and everything in between. Considering the current predicament of our nation and the world at large, the question is, "What would Kinky do?" His answers invoke Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan, Judy Garland, George Bush, and other cultural touchstones; reflect on Texas etiquette, smoking in bars, mullet haircuts, immigration policy, and how Don Imus died for our sins; and advise on how to handle a nonstop talker on a long flight, how to deliver the perfect air kiss, and what to do when a redneck hollers "Hey y'all, watch this!" Whether he's "the new Mark Twain" (Southern Living), "in a class with Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, Will Rogers, and, yes, Henny Youngman" (The New York Post), "a Texas legend" (President George W. Bush), or "the Mother Teresa of literature" (Willie Nelson), Kinky Friedman is an outrageously funny and uncommonly smart observer of our common predicament: life and what to do about it. A little friendly advice from "Texas for Dummies" *Get you some brontosaurus-foreskin boots and a big ol' cowboy hat. Always remember, only two kinds of people can get away with wearing their hats indoors: cowboys and Jews. Try to be one of them. *Get your hair fixed right. If you're male, cut it into a "mullet" (short on the sides and top, long in the back---think Billy Ray Cyrus). If you're female, make it as big as possible, with lots of teasing and hair spray. If you can hide a buck knife in there, you're ready. *Buy you a big ol' pickup truck or a Cadillac. I myself drive a Yom Kippur Clipper. That's a Jewish Cadillac---stops on a dime and picks it up. *Don't be surprised to find small plastic bags of giant dill pickles in local convenience stores. *Everything goes better with picante sauce. No exceptions. *Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.

Cowboy Logic

Cowboy Logic PDF Author: Kinky Friedman
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 9780312331573
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 214

Book Description
Cowboy Logic is filled with the bons mots of our favorite Texas legend, "the oldest Jew in Texas who doesn't own real estate." Complementing his ageless (and outrageous) maxims organized thematically are original cartoons and illustrations by the brilliant Ace Reid. For example: *Always respect your superiors, if you have any.*Where there's a will, there's a lawyer.*A happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.*Trust me. I'm a Jew. I'll hire good people.*Happiness is a moving target. Kinky is famous for his one-liners, and here are the best of them.

Greenwich Killing Time

Greenwich Killing Time PDF Author: Kinky Friedman
Publisher: Gardners Books
ISBN: 9780571191345
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 176

Book Description
The place is New York City's Greenwich Village. The corpse is found holding 11 pink roses. The suspects are as strange as the crime. And the detective just happens to be a country singer named Kinky Friedman in his wild, witty, and wisecracking debut novel.

Eat, Drink and Be Kinky

Eat, Drink and Be Kinky PDF Author: Mike McGovern
Publisher: Atria Books
ISBN: 9780684856742
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 212

Book Description
The work you are about to read is far more than a cookbook. Eat, Drink, and Be Kinky will have a broad, engaging appeal not only to serious gourmands but also to alcoholics and sex perverts as well. In fact, I think of this book as sort of a culinary version of James Joyce's Ulysses. McGovern's masterwork, to my mind, compares quite favorably with Tolstoy's Anna Karenina. For one thing, it's shorter. From the Introduction by Kinky Friedman Written by Mike McGovern, one of the Kinkster's legendary Village Irregulars, Eat, Drink, and Be Kinky is a feast of wit, wisdom, and some damn good recipes as featured in, drawn from, and inspired by the novels of Kinky Friedman, private dick extraordinaire and culinary mastermind. When Richard Kinky "Big Dick" Friedman was only a little Kinky, growing into his Texas jeans and ten-gallon hat, he had two choices at mealtime -- take it or leave it. But the years have been kind to the Kinkster, and thanks to a successful career first as a singer/songwriter and more recently a bestselling author, Kinky has become a connoisseur of good wine, good food, and the best cigars (that he still prefers bad women just goes to show that some things never change). With a choice from a full menu of everything from appetizers and soups to desserts and libations, the reader is invited to indulge in the best of Kinky cuisine, including: Downtown Judy's Tortilla Soup with Chili Puree Fried-Egg Sandwich a Go-Go Saddle Up Burritos Teri and Chinga Chavin's Ol' Ben Lucas Swordfish Stew Son of Chicken McGovern Steve Rambam's Jailhouse Chili Frankie Lasagna Beer Bread Jack Daniel's Tiramisu Crunchy Coconut Banana Cake The book also features the world according to Kinky -- selections of wit and wisdom from all twelve of his novels on everything from life and death, love and sex, religion and God, food and wine, and the state of the onion. Whether you're a fan of Kinky's music, a devotee of his novels, or just a lover of good cookin' and good eatin', Eat, Drink, and Be Kinky wilt be sure to satisfy your appetite.

Armadillos and Old Lace

Armadillos and Old Lace PDF Author: Kinky Friedman
Publisher: Faber & Faber
ISBN: 9780571174621
Category : American fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 176

Book Description
A story featuring the foul-mouthed Kinky Friedman, ace private eye. Little old ladies are dropping dead at an alarming rate in the vicinity of the family's ranch/summer camp in Texas, and Kinky is asked to investigate. A faded photograph of ten pretty girls is just the clue he needs.

Explorer's Guide Austin, San Antonio & the Texas Hill Country: A Great Destination (Explorer's Great Destinations)

Explorer's Guide Austin, San Antonio & the Texas Hill Country: A Great Destination (Explorer's Great Destinations) PDF Author: Amy K. Brown
Publisher: The Countryman Press
ISBN: 1581579977
Category : Travel
Languages : en
Pages : 291

Book Description
Filled with local history, down-to-earth tips, and offbeat observations, this guide will lead you to the region's favorite spots to stay, eat, drink, and celebrate. Central Texas is an unpretentious, free-spirited region filled with treasured taquerias, hallowed music venues, juicy BBQ, and revered natural wonders. A non-stop schedule of cultural festivals makes for year-round revelry. Explore San Antonio's pedestrian-friendly River Walk, legendary Alamo and historic Mission Trail. Austin's internationally recognized music scene keeps feet tapping and its parks, trails, and swimming holes offer endless recreation. Take a carefree road trip through the Hill Country, past vineyards and wildflowers, to towns brimming with gourmet restaurants and relaxing B&Bs.

Explorer's Guide Austin, San Antonio & the Texas Hill Country: A Great Destination (Second Edition)

Explorer's Guide Austin, San Antonio & the Texas Hill Country: A Great Destination (Second Edition) PDF Author: Amy K. Brown
Publisher: The Countryman Press
ISBN: 1581577583
Category : Travel
Languages : en
Pages : 233

Book Description
The free-spirited, unpretentious Texas Hill Country is a treasure. Central Texas is an unpretentious, free-spirited region filled with treasured taquerias, hallowed music venues, juicy BBQ, and revered natural wonders. A non-stop schedule of cultural festivals makes for year-round revelry. Explore San Antonio's pedestrian-friendly River Walk, legendary Alamo and historic Mission Trail. Austin's internationally recognized music scene keeps feet tapping and its parks, trails, and swimming holes offer endless recreation. Take a carefree road trip through the Hill Country, past vineyards and wildflowers, to towns brimming with gourmet restaurants and relaxing B&Bs.

Conversations with Texas Writers

Conversations with Texas Writers PDF Author: Frances Leonard
Publisher: University of Texas Press
ISBN: 0292778082
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 432

Book Description
Larry McMurtry declares, "Texas itself doesn't have anything to do with why I write. It never did." Horton Foote, on the other hand, says, "I've just never had a desire to write about any place else." In between those figurative bookends are hundreds of other writers—some internationally recognized, others just becoming known—who draw inspiration and often subject matter from the unique places and people that are Texas. To give everyone who is interested in Texas writing a representative sampling of the breadth and vitality of the state's current literary production, this volume features conversations with fifty of Texas's most notable established writers and emerging talents. The writers included here work in a wide variety of genres—novels, short stories, poetry, plays, screenplays, essays, nonfiction, and magazine journalism. In their conversations with interviewers from the Writers' League of Texas and other authors' organizations, the writers speak of their apprenticeships, literary influences, working habits, connections with their readers, and the domestic and public events that have shaped their writing. Accompanying the interviews are excerpts from the writers' work, as well as their photographs, biographies, and bibliographies. Joe Holley's introductory essay—an overview of Texas writing from Cabeza de Vaca's 1542 Relación to the work of today's generation of writers, who are equally at home in Hollywood as in Texas—provides the necessary context to appreciate such a diverse collection of literary voices. A sampling from the book: "This land has been my subject matter. One thing that distinguishes me from the true naturalist is that I've never been able to look at land without thinking of the people who've been on it. It's fundamental to me." —John Graves "Writing is a way to keep ourselves more in touch with everything we experience. It seems the best gifts and thoughts are given to us when we pause, take a deep breath, look around, see what's there, and return to where we were, revived." —Naomi Shihab Nye "I've said this many times in print: the novel is the middle-age genre. Very few people have written really good novels when they are young, and few people have written really good novels when they are old. You just tail off, and lose a certain level of concentration. Your imaginative energy begins to lag. I feel like I'm repeating myself, and most writers do repeat themselves." —Larry McMurtry "I was a pretty poor cowhand. I grew up on the Macaraw Ranch, east of Crane, Texas. My father tried very hard to make a cowboy out of me, but in my case it never seemed to work too well. I had more of a literary bent. I loved to read, and very early on I began to write small stories, short stories, out of the things I liked to read." —Elmer Kelton

Explorer's Guide Austin, San Antonio, & the Hill Country (Third Edition) (Explorer's Complete)

Explorer's Guide Austin, San Antonio, & the Hill Country (Third Edition) (Explorer's Complete) PDF Author: Amy K. Brown
Publisher: The Countryman Press
ISBN: 1682680452
Category : Travel
Languages : en
Pages : 337

Book Description
See just how much the Lone Star State has to offer There is much natural and cultural diversity to be found in the heart of one of the country’s most notable and beloved states. This guide focuses on beautiful, vibrant, and distinct Austin, San Antonio, and the Hill Country. Texas is known for its strong sports teams and lively music scene, but take a closer look at cities like San Antonio and Austin and you’ll find that there’s more than meets the eye. Austin boasts acres of parks, bike trails, and beautiful natural wonders. San Antonio offers a pedestrian-friendly, fun-filled downtown area that celebrates its Native American and Mexican influences with delicious food and unique architecture. Once you’ve had enough of urban living, the Hill Country is the perfect place to unwind. Spend a day at one of this region’s vineyards, fields of lavender, or state parks. With this comprehensive guide in hand, you’ll experience a whole other side of Texas—and maybe more!
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