You Know You're 60 When . . .

Author: Richard Smith
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0307587630
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 130

Book Description
Are you “getting on in years,” or know someone who is? Thinking of changing your birth certificate to show a more favorable birth date? You may lie about your age, but your age won’t lie to you! Not sure how to tell when you’re about to reach that fun sixtieth birthday? Here are some clues: WebMD is your home page When asked, “Who’s your doctor?” you have to reply, “Which one?” An outbreak of acne makes you feel like a teenager again At your class reunion, you note with satisfaction that the captain of the football team wears a hearing aid The meadows where you sowed your wild oats are now shopping malls That empty seat on the bus has your name on it Your pharmacist greets you with “What’ll it be, pal?” Getting older is not only fun . . . it’s funny! And with You Know You’re 60 When . . ., you’ll be laughing as you go kicking and screaming over the hill, happily clutching your chest!

You Know You're Fifty When

Author: Richard Smith
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0767902106
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 127

Book Description
Whether you’re over the hill, approaching the hill, or rolling down it, this is the ultimate guide to life after 50—so get your readers and settle in! Getting closer to the big Five-O? Know someone who is? Sure, 50 might be a scary number, but it’s also a state of mind, an opportunity to drape an afghan over your shoulders when you’re chilly or start enjoying cruises. For anyone in denial about reaching the half-century milestone, New York Times bestselling author Richard Smith clues you in on certain signs that you can’t ignore. Because even if you feel like you’re at the top of your game, you know you’re 50 when . . . • Blowing up balloons gets you winded. • You start jogging with an ID. • It can take up to fifteen minutes to climb out of a hammock. • “Staying power” refers to remaining awake through Cats. • You think menopause entitles you to park in a handicap zone. • Your tailor diplomatically suggests it’s time to let out your barbecue apron. • You actually start to obey the “Don’t Walk” signal. • Florida starts looking good. So go ahead and blow your retirement savings on cruises, trips to Paris, and plastic surgery—you’ve got another 50 years to go!

You're Fifty-Now What?

Author: Charles Schwab
Publisher: Three Rivers Press
ISBN: 0609808702
Category : Finance, Personal
Languages : en
Pages : 332

Book Description
Now in paperback comes the national bestseller advising people how to determine exactly what they'll need for retirement, how to maximize their best earning and investing years, and how to work out the wisest balance of asset allocation.

You Know You're 40 When...

Author: Ann Hodgman
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0767917391
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 130

Book Description
Are you almost over the hill? Know someone who is? Getting older is no fun, but it sure can be funny. How do you know when you’re approaching the big 4-0? Here are a few clues: * Comb-overs are starting to make a certain kind of sense. * A kid you once babysat for is now your lawyer. * At your checkups, the doctor has begun to ask if you’re still sexually active. * Midnight seems awfully late. * You’re more interested in websites that will calculate your Body Mass Index than in Internet porn. * You receive two phone calls in a single week from people who want to sell you life insurance. Whether you’ve just found your first gray hair or you’re peering around the corner to your mid-life crisis, You Know You’re 40 When… will tickle your funny bone (while you can still remember where to find it).

50 Things They Don't Want You to Know

Author: Jerome Hudson
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062932535
Category : Political Science
Languages : en
Pages : 342

Book Description
Breitbart.com editor Jerome Hudson delivers the red pills his readers know him for, showing you the facts, statistics, and analysis that the mainstream media have worked so hard to hide Description: If you heard that one president deported more people than any other president, started the program of family separation, and did nothing to stop Russia’s election meddling, how many of them would guess it was Obama? In 50 Things They Don’t Want You to Know Jerome Hudson dives deeply into the things Americans are not supposed to realize. Many of our most hotly debate topics are shaped by Davos power brokers, woke college professors, TV talking heads, social media activists and feckless Washington swamp monsters who want you to only follow their narrative. Your teachers, your politicians, and your local paper are not likely to ever tell you: Racial minorities fare far better in the absence of race-based affirmative action policies. Latinos make up a little more than 50% of the Border Patrol, according to 2016 data. The U.S. settled more refugees in 2017 than any other nation. Between 2011 and 2016, the IRS documented 1.3 million identity thefts by Illegal aliens. Half of federal arrests are immigration-related. Welfare recipients in 34 states earn more than a person making minimum wage. Taxpayers doled out $2.6 billion in food stamps to dead people in less than two years. 1,700 private jets flew to Davos to discuss the impact of global warming. Google could swing an election by secretly adjusting its search algorithm, and we would have no way of knowing. Once you’re done reading 50 Things They Don’t Want You to Know, you’ll never trust the powers that be to give you the whole truth again.

Forever Fifty

Author: Judith Viorst
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0684832372
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 66

Book Description
The author offers lyrical, compassionate, and witty observations about turning fifty years old and facing middle age

50 Things to Do When You Turn Fifty

Author: Ronnie Sellers
Publisher: Sellers Publishing
ISBN: 9781416246374
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 304

Book Description
If you are among the more than 50 million North Americans who will turn 50 during the next 10 years, Fifty Things To Do When You Turn Fifty, Third Edition might just be the thing that enables you to approach the experience with optimism rather than dread. This is the third edition of our perennial bestseller and it's packed with artists, pundits, and experts who contributed essays offer a wealth of practical information. When taken collectively, the book comprises a veritable instruction manual for how to turn 50, everything from how to readjust your stock portfolio to how to readjust your underwear (to allow for more breathing room... wearing comfortable clothing is, after all, a privilege that you have more than earned by now). The underlying message is: relax, now that you're 50, you don't have to prove yourself anymore. Take care of yourself, get your house in order, and these will be the best years of your life.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks

Author: Adam Carolla
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0307717380
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 274

Book Description
A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

Fifty Words for Rain

Author: Asha Lemmie
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1524746371
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 464

Book Description
A Good Morning America Book Club Pick and New York Times Bestseller! From debut author Asha Lemmie, “a lovely, heartrending story about love and loss, prejudice and pain, and the sometimes dangerous, always durable ties that link a family together.” —Kristin Hannah, #1 New York Times–bestselling author of The Nightingale Kyoto, Japan, 1948. “Do not question. Do not fight. Do not resist.” Such is eight-year-old Noriko “Nori” Kamiza’s first lesson. She will not question why her mother abandoned her with only these final words. She will not fight her confinement to the attic of her grandparents’ imperial estate. And she will not resist the scalding chemical baths she receives daily to lighten her skin. The child of a married Japanese aristocrat and her African American GI lover, Nori is an outsider from birth. Her grandparents take her in, only to conceal her, fearful of a stain on the royal pedigree that they are desperate to uphold in a changing Japan. Obedient to a fault, Nori accepts her solitary life, despite her natural intellect and curiosity. But when chance brings her older half-brother, Akira, to the estate that is his inheritance and destiny, Nori finds in him an unlikely ally with whom she forms a powerful bond—a bond their formidable grandparents cannot allow and that will irrevocably change the lives they were always meant to lead. Because now that Nori has glimpsed a world in which perhaps there is a place for her after all, she is ready to fight to be a part of it—a battle that just might cost her everything. Spanning decades and continents, Fifty Words for Rain is a dazzling epic about the ties that bind, the ties that give you strength, and what it means to be free.

You're Fifty-Now What?

Author: Charles Schwab
Publisher: Crown Currency
ISBN: 0609504223
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 264

Book Description
Every eight seconds someone in this country turns 50, an age at which even baby boomers can no longer put off becoming fiscally responsible and planning for the future. For everyone who finds that thought daunting (and that's an awful lot of us), Charles R. Schwab, America's most trusted figure in financial services, is here to outline the simple steps we should take to evaluate what we have, determine what we'll need, and put our money to work to make our future one of reward instead of worry. In the same upbeat, user-friendly style that made Charles Schwab's Guide to Financial Independence a bestseller, You're Fifty- Now What? offers a mix of clear and workable advice, simple worksheets, and a healthy dose of encouragement. In addition to learning how to accumulate and grow their money, readers will even find help with estate planning and charitable giving. His message is that the goal is not just financial security, but financial peace of mind. The way to get there is not by being a spectator, but a participant. It doesn't take special talent or advanced degrees; it just takes attention and a little time. With baby-boomers living longer and spending more time in retirement, the need is clear. Charles Schwab's You're Fifty- Now What? is the perfect place to get started.