Sorry I Peed on You (and Other Heartwarming Letters to Mommy)

Author: Jeremy Greenberg
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449406483
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 66

Book Description
Wouldn't you love to know what your toddler's thinking when he refuses to stop jumping on the couch? Jeremy Greenberg's hilarious and thoughtful letters give parents a glimpse into the minds of their little ones. Finally, we can hear "first person" how a kid really isn't fooled by broccoli buried in cheese, how he'd really appreciate it if he could start going down the slide by himself, or how he'd like to apologize for peeing on you during the two seconds it took for you to reach for a fresh diaper. From Daddy's latest four-letter vocab lessons to the dog's (not the toddler's) repeated milk dribbles on the carpet, this hilarious book answers a question every mother of a toddler wants to know: What in the world are they thinking?!

Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe

Author: Jeremy Greenberg
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449407897
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 69

Book Description
A light and lively companion to Sorry I Peed on You, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is a hilarious collection of full-color photos and letters of apologies and suggestions from dogs to the people who love themâ€”no matter what bad thing theyâ€™ve done! Inside Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe, writer and comedian Jeremy Greenberg presents a collection of 50 laugh-out-loud letters and accompanying full-color photographs that explain Fido's love of funky smells, why a ball needs to be thrown again, and practically every other lovably loony canine characteristic. From an impassioned plea to stop the silly nicknames, to an attempt to skip a bath, to explanations for stolen shoes and swiped sandwiches, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe offers a pooch's perspective on common canine vs. human cohabitation conundrums. Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is the perfect gift for dog lovers and anyone who appreciates hilarious (and so true!) insights into dog--and human--nature.

The Other End of the Leash

Author: Patricia McConnell, Ph.D.
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0307489183
Category : Pets
Languages : en
Pages : 289

Book Description
Learn to communicate with your dog—using their language “Good reading for dog lovers and an immensely useful manual for dog owners.”—The Washington Post An Applied Animal Behaviorist and dog trainer with more than twenty years’ experience, Dr. Patricia McConnell reveals a revolutionary new perspective on our relationship with dogs—sharing insights on how “man’s best friend” might interpret our behavior, as well as essential advice on how to interact with our four-legged friends in ways that bring out the best in them. After all, humans and dogs are two entirely different species, each shaped by its individual evolutionary heritage. Quite simply, humans are primates and dogs are canids (as are wolves, coyotes, and foxes). Since we each speak a different native tongue, a lot gets lost in the translation. This marvelous guide demonstrates how even the slightest changes in our voices and in the ways we stand can help dogs understand what we want. Inside you will discover: • How you can get your dog to come when called by acting less like a primate and more like a dog • Why the advice to “get dominance” over your dog can cause problems • Why “rough and tumble primate play” can lead to trouble—and how to play with your dog in ways that are fun and keep him out of mischief • How dogs and humans share personality types—and why most dogs want to live with benevolent leaders rather than “alpha wanna-bes!” Fascinating, insightful, and compelling, The Other End of the Leash is a book that strives to help you connect with your dog in a completely new way—so as to enrich that most rewarding of relationships.

The Party Upstairs

Author: Lee Conell
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1984880292
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 321

Book Description
An electrifying debut novel that unfolds in the course of a single day inside one genteel New York City apartment building, as tensions between the building's super and his grown-up daughter spark a crisis that will, by day's end, change everything. Ruby has a strange relationship to privilege. She grew up the super's daughter in the basement of an Upper West Side co-op that gets more gentrified with each passing year. Though not economically privileged herself, her close childhood friendship with Caroline, the daughter of affluent tenants, and the mere fact of living in such a wealthy neighborhood, close to her beloved Natural History Museum, brought her certain advantages, even expectations. Naturally Ruby followed her dreams and took out loans to attend a prestigious small liberal arts college and explore her interest in art. But now, out of school for a while, she is no closer to her dream job, or anything resembling it, and she's been forced by circumstances to do the last thing she wanted to do: move back in with her parents, back into the basement. And Caroline is throwing one of her parties tonight, in her father's glorious penthouse apartment, a party Ruby looks forward to and dreads in equal measure. With a thriller's narrative control, The Party Upstairs distills worlds of wisdom about families, great expectations, and the hidden violence of class into the gripping, darkly witty story of a single fateful day inside the Manhattan co-op Ruby calls home.

Sorry I Humped Your Leg

Author: Jeremy Greenberg
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449487424
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 64

Book Description
The bestselling author who brought you Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe and Sorry I Slept on Your Face presents a new collection of hilarious letters from over-enthusiastic, manners-challenged dogs paired with painfully cute photographs. Gronk apologizes for his passion, but he honestly thought humping your leg would bring you closer. Ladybug just wants to help you with your nature photography, so she selflessly alerts you to any nearby skunks. Truman was just trying to help you save face when he licked the carving board at Thanksgiving—the embarrassment of a leaky turkey would surely bring you nothing but shame for years. He does taste the tarragon. Sorry I Humped Your Leg contains letters from well-meaning pooches who go above and beyond for you. From escaping every enclosure you can dream up in order to spend more time together to helpfully licking the toilet bowl clean, these pups aim to please.

Jag

Author: Anthony Lopez
Publisher: AuthorHouse
ISBN: 146702693X
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 196

Book Description
"Love unconditionally. Be happy often. Never pass-up a chance for a hug. Be humble. Dont dwell on yesterday, and dont worry about tomorrow. These are only a few of the insightful life lessons captured in this gem of a book. Without ever speaking one word, Jag, has preached, thought, and modeled these, and other Biblical principles for sound Christian living. Imagine a world where we all lived up to these eternal principles! Not only would we lead happier more fulfilled lives, but we would positively impact our family, friends, and our world in an eternal way. - Rick Hawks, Senior Pastor. The Chapel, Fort Wayne, Indiana Judge Advocate General. Thats his name. Will he go to heaven when he dies? If there are dogs in heaven and I sure hope there are then Jag will certainly be there. From the moment he was born he has loved life and lived it to its fullest. He knows how to play, when to ask for help, how to give love, and when to be quiet. Jag has showered each of us with unconditional love and he has made us laugh until we cried. Jag trusts us. He has never worried about yesterday or tomorrow, and he has protected us whenever he thought we needed protecting. Hes been a good and loyal friend, and I have learned much from him. He always gives us exactly what we need when we need it, and Im reminded of that profound truth every time I look at that big furry blessing that is Jag my trusted confidant, my wise old teacher my best buddy Anthony Lopez

The Apple's Bruise

Author: Lisa Glatt
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439104360
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 214

Book Description
From the bestselling author of A Girl Becomes a Comma Like That, a moving, disturbing, and utterly original collection of stories that examine a universe where memory and fact collide, and the imagination fills in the gaps left behind. The stories in The Apple's Bruise take a smart and unflinching look at love, frailty, and happiness and prove beyond doubt that Glatt is a modern master at blending heartbreak and hilarity. In "Dirty Hannah Gets Hit by a Car," a seven-year-old girl bullied by a neighbor across the street gains strength after a serious accident; in "Animals," a zoo veterinarian from a family of butchers tries at once to deal with his marital problems and the high rate at which his animals are dying; and in "Soup," a young widow tries to reconcile her feelings for her teenage son's friend, the town delinquent. With tenderness, insight, and humor, Glatt casts her gaze simultaneously on the beauty and the absurdity of our humanity, creating unforgettable portrayals of unusual characters and the complexities of desire and fidelity that compel them.

Go Diaper Free

Author: Andrea Olson
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781736719909
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 336

Book Description
Stop changing diapers?start potting your baby. Over half the world's children are potty trained by one year old, yet the average potty training age in the United States is currently three years old. This leaves parents wondering: What did people do before diapers? and How do I help my own baby out of diapers sooner?Elimination Communication, also known as EC, is the natural alternative to full-time diapers and conventional toilet training. Although human babies have been pottied from birth for all human history, we've modernized the technique to work in today's busy world.Go Diaper Free shows parents of 0-18 month babies, step-by-step, how to do EC with confidence, whether full time or part time, with diapers or without. "Diaper-free" doesn't mean a naked baby making a mess everywhere - it actually means free from dependence upon diapers. With this book, new parents can avoid years of messy diapers, potty training struggles, diaper rash, and unexplained fussiness. Also helpful for those considering EC, in the middle of a potty pause, or confused about how to begin.This 6th edition includes a new section on The Dream Pee, a full text and graphic revision, more photos of EC in action, and a complete list of further resources.MULTIMEDIA EDITION: includes the book and access to private video library, helpful downloads, additional troubleshooting, and our private online support group run by our Certified Coaches. For less than the cost of a case of diapers, you can learn EC hands-on, the way it's meant to be learned.

Taxlady

Author: Becky Webster
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 0557159717
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 147

Book Description
Taxlady

The Bust Guide to the New Girl Order

Author: Marcelle Karp
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101503173
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 413

Book Description
Both a literary magazine and a chronicle of girl culture, Bust was born in 1993. With contributors who are funny, fierce, and too smart to be anything but feminist, Bust is the original grrrl zine, with a base of loyal female fans--all those women who know that Glamour is garbage, Vogue is vapid, and Cosmo is clueless.The Bust Guide to the New Girl Order contains brand new, funny, sharp, trenchant essays along with some of the best writings from the magazine: Courtney Love's (unsolicited) piece on Bad Girls; the already immortal "Dont's For Boys"; an interview with girl-hero Judy Blume; and lots of other shocking, titillating, truthful articles. A kind of Our Bodies, Ourselves for Generation XX, The Bust Guide to the New Girl Order is destined to become required reading for today's hip urban girl and her admirers.