Sorry I Humped Your Leg

Author: Jeremy Greenberg
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449487424
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 64

Book Description
The bestselling author who brought you Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe and Sorry I Slept on Your Face presents a new collection of hilarious letters from over-enthusiastic, manners-challenged dogs paired with painfully cute photographs. Gronk apologizes for his passion, but he honestly thought humping your leg would bring you closer. Ladybug just wants to help you with your nature photography, so she selflessly alerts you to any nearby skunks. Truman was just trying to help you save face when he licked the carving board at Thanksgiving—the embarrassment of a leaky turkey would surely bring you nothing but shame for years. He does taste the tarragon. Sorry I Humped Your Leg contains letters from well-meaning pooches who go above and beyond for you. From escaping every enclosure you can dream up in order to spend more time together to helpfully licking the toilet bowl clean, these pups aim to please.

Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe

Author: Jeremy Greenberg
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449407897
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 69

Book Description
A light and lively companion to Sorry I Peed on You, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is a hilarious collection of full-color photos and letters of apologies and suggestions from dogs to the people who love themâ€”no matter what bad thing theyâ€™ve done! Inside Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe, writer and comedian Jeremy Greenberg presents a collection of 50 laugh-out-loud letters and accompanying full-color photographs that explain Fido's love of funky smells, why a ball needs to be thrown again, and practically every other lovably loony canine characteristic. From an impassioned plea to stop the silly nicknames, to an attempt to skip a bath, to explanations for stolen shoes and swiped sandwiches, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe offers a pooch's perspective on common canine vs. human cohabitation conundrums. Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is the perfect gift for dog lovers and anyone who appreciates hilarious (and so true!) insights into dog--and human--nature.

Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed Again

Author: Jeremy Greenberg
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 152485896X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 72

Book Description
Tess wants you to know that she intends to continue throwing up freely as long as the new baby gets to—fair is fair. Ovid would like to inform you that he’s giving up one of his nine lives in order to avoid a visit to the vet—he’ll miss you and knows you understand. And Quinn assures you that she’ll protect you from whatever it is that’s rolled under the table with all the righteous fury in her little body—even if only turns out to be a dropped olive. Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed Again is full of funny letters and heartwarming photos—a perfect gift for cat lovers.

'Tis The Season

Author: William D Holloway
Publisher: XinXii
ISBN: 3966337797
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 75

Book Description
This Christmas will be one that no one will forget. As an unknown curse is accidentally put on the holiday, a group of misfits must undo their wrong before everyone's jolly cheers turn to jolly fears. Or is this just another unusual day for the unusual citizens of Holiday City? This Christmas story is not one for the little kids.

Jinn and Juice

Author: Nicole Peeler
Publisher: Hachette+ORM
ISBN: 0316407348
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 330

Book Description
In this rowdy and raunchy urban fantasy, Lyla escaped an arranged marriage by accepting a deal from a jinni -- to live a thousand years as a jinni herself. Now, with her millennia nearly up, she's hiding out in a seedy Pittsburgh swarming with vampires, jinni and magical beings. Meet Lyla, a thousand-year-old Jinn, a belly dancer, and the hottest new urban fantasy heroine in town. With her thousand-year-long servitude ending, Lyla faces a few serious obstacles to freedom. A Magi intent on binding her again, a jinni bent on vengeance, and not to mention the nightmare from her past that threatens to make her curse permanent -- and claim her very soul. "Jinn and Juice is a raucous, raunchy tale well told. One thing's certain: you'll never look at Pittsburgh the same way after you've taken Nicole Peeler's mythic joyride up, down, and sideways in pursuit of an abducted teenage girl and freedom from a thousand-year curse. Legend and history, betrayal and love intertwine as the story moves from lascivious sex clubs to the unraveling of a mystery to a magical jinni throw-down which will leave you panting for more. Jinn and Juice is Urban Fantasy at its smartest, naughtiest, funniest best." -- Juliet Blackwell

Taz's Recipe

Author: Diane Tullson
Publisher: Orca Book Publishers
ISBN: 1459811887
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 57

Book Description
Fourteen-year-old Taz knows one thing for sure: she's a perfect disaster in the kitchen. Every time she tries to cook, chaos ensues. After fires, toxins and more than one minor injury, Taz will be happy if she makes it through her food-science class in one piece. But when the class enters a competitive race for a coveted program and Taz is put in a group that expects to win, the pressure is on. As the competition heats up, Taz is desperate to hold her own and not let her team down.

Sorry I Slept on Your Face

Author: Jeremy Greenberg
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449484433
Category : Pets
Languages : en
Pages : 65

Book Description
What does it mean when your cat bites your toes as hard as she can? When she suffocates you with her body, is she just getting comfortable or is she trying to tell you she needs more space? In Sorry I Slept on Your Face, cats, in all their superiority, break up with their owners through sorry/not sorry letters illustrated with cute, funny, sweet photographs. This book will make you laugh and make you ponder your relationship with your own cat.

A Sex Pest, Some Baggage and a Soul Mate

Author: Elizabeth Muff
Publisher: Elizabeth Muff
ISBN:
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 256

Book Description
I never thought I’d be starting over again in my 30’s. I’d stayed in dead-end relationships longer than I should have for the simple fear of being alone. In my mind, it was better to be attached and settle, compromising all the needs I had, than to be single and facing the prospect of dating. What started off as stories I’d tell friends and family, turned into a blog with one follower (a psychologist of all people) and now, 340 odd pages later, it’s a book. This is the story of dating in your 30’s however before we begin I’d like to offer two bits of advice: Ladies - have faith Men - just use your brains a little more. Please?

Fatal Harmony

Author: Anne Malcom
Publisher: Anne Malcom
ISBN: 1542466164
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 411

Book Description
I may be the villain of the story, but at least I get a leading role. Evil is a term thrown around history and literature as if it's something so easily definable. A concept to fight against. Evil doesn’t exist. Neither does ‘good.’ Vampires do, though. I just happen to be one. I’ve cruised through the centuries managing to avoid all the wars, supernatural and human, but still going to all the best parties. I would say I avoided bloodshed, but it’s kind of part of the whole ‘vampire’ thing. I’ve lived on the fringes of a society that considered cruelty and sadism favorable character traits for almost five hundred years. Now I'm in the middle of a war that might just put my nonbeating heart in a lot of danger. Battles, I can handle. The impossible attraction between me and the vampire slayer, not to mention the penetrating gaze of the king of our race, on the other hand? I might not get out undead.

Happy Hour in Hell

Author: Tad Williams
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 144473864X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 542

Book Description
Bobby Dollar has a problem or four of epic proportions. Problem one: his best friend Sam has given him an angel's feather that also happens to be evidence of an unholy pact between Bobby's employers and those who dwell in the infernal depths. Problem two: Eligor, Grand Duke of Hell, wants to get his claws on the feather at all costs, but particularly at all cost to Bobby . Problem three: Bobby has fallen in love with Casimira, Countess of Cold Hands, who just happens to be Eligor's girlfriend. Problem four: Eligor, aware of Problem three, has whisked Casimira off to the Bottomless Pit itself, telling Bobby he will never see her again unless he hands over the feather. But Bobby, long-time veteran of the endless war between above and below, is not the type of guy who finds Hell intimidating. All he has to do is toss on a demon's body, sneak through the infernal gates, solve the mystery of the angel's feather, and rescue the girl. Saving the day should just be a matter of an eon or two of anguish, mutilation and horror. If only it were that easy.