F*ck Whales

F*ck Whales PDF Author: Maddox
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476794987
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 209

Book Description
A collection of satirical, crass, comedic essays from famed Internet personality and New York Times bestselling author Maddox, of the infamous website The Best Page in the Universe. In this third book from Maddox, the reigning king of Internet satire delivers a collection of humorous, unapologetic essays in the same voice that propelled him into comedic stardom. With all-new material, F*ck Whales delivers on his personal brand of satire, complete with self-promotion, petty rants, and brilliant essays on anything and everything Maddox deems worthy of his ire.

Go the F**k to Sleep

Go the F**k to Sleep PDF Author: Adam Mansbach
Publisher: Akashic Books
ISBN: 1453271023
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 18

Book Description
The #1 New York Times Bestseller: “A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep” (NPR). “Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.” Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

100 Animals That Can F*cking End You

100 Animals That Can F*cking End You PDF Author: Mamadou Ndiaye
Publisher: Voracious
ISBN: 0316453870
Category : Nature
Languages : en
Pages : 226

Book Description
A wittily informative field guide to the deadliest animals on Earth from "AnimalTok" star @mndiaye_97 Ever wonder how to tell if a moose is about to subtract you? Curious why you should be terrified of cassowaries, the “velociraptor that time forgot?” Questioning whether that cute baby hippo is actually a homicidal maniac in the making? Yea, so was Mamadou Ndiaye . . . and now he's got your answers. 100 Animals That Can F*cking End You is the ultimate countdown to merk by animal, featuring everything from tiny bugs that can turn you into a hashtag to animals so massive they can murder you by accident. These include: • The massive Southern elephant seal, which "is built like a truck with the personality of a Spring Break frat boy" • Sperm whales with a call so strong it can vibrate you to death • A golf-ball-sized octopus that can erase twenty-six people with one bite • Hyenas, which have no qualms eating their prey while it is still alive • A snake so quick it can strike you three times before you blink You’ll learn not only which animals to avoid, but which ones can beat you in a footrace, which ones create surprisingly high body counts, and which ones will give you a good reason never to venture into the ocean. Mamadou also offers the occasional survival tip, even if it is just to make peace with your higher power. This dynamic, fact-filled, occasionally disturbing book is perfect for animal lovers and anyone perplexed by the natural world.

The Lights of Prague

The Lights of Prague PDF Author: Nicole Jarvis
Publisher: Titan Books
ISBN: 1789093961
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 406

Book Description
For readers of VE Schwab and The Witcher, science and magic clash in atmospheric gaslight-era Prague. In the quiet streets of Prague all manner of otherworldly creatures lurk in the shadows. Unbeknownst to its citizens, their only hope against the tide of predators are the dauntless lamplighters - a secret elite of monster hunters whose light staves off the darkness each night. Domek Myska leads a life teeming with fraught encounters with the worst kind of evil: pijavica, bloodthirsty and soulless vampiric creatures. Despite this, Domek find solace in his moments spent in the company of his friend, the clever and beautiful Lady Ora Fischer - a widow with secrets of her own. When Domek finds himself stalked by the spirit of the White Lady - a ghost who haunts the baroque halls of Prague castle – he stumbles across the sentient essence of a will-o'-the-wisp captured in a mysterious container. Now, as it's bearer, Domek wields its power, but the wisp, known for leading travellers to their deaths, will not be so easily controlled. After discovering a conspiracy amongst the pijavice that could see them unleash terror on the daylight world, Domek finds himself in a race against those who aim to twist alchemical science for their own dangerous gain.

Ten Communities

Ten Communities PDF Author: Paul Robert Hanna
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : Cities and towns
Languages : en
Pages : 556

Book Description

F*ck Feelings

F*ck Feelings PDF Author: Michael Bennett, MD
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476789991
Category : Education
Languages : en
Pages : 384

Book Description
"The only self-help book you'll ever need, from a psychiatrist who will help you put aside your unrealistic wishes, stop trying to change things you can't change, and do the best with what you can control--the first steps to solving all of life's impossible problems"--

Crappy Children's Art

Crappy Children's Art PDF Author: Maddox
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476713545
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 320

Book Description
From the New York Times bestselling author of The Alphabet of Manliness, the creator of “The Best Page in the Universe,” and overall genius, comes an outrageous, laugh-out-loud critique of children’s artwork that finally cuts those little smug know-it-alls down to size. Previously published as I Am Better Than Your Kids. If you think children are precious little snowflakes who are perfect in every way, think again. If you cherish every piece of art, every book report, every letter to Santa your child gives you, then this book is not for you. If your refrigerator is adorned with mementos from your kid’s childhood, then you are a sucker. Maddox, who has been writing hilarious essays for his popular site, TheBestPageInTheUniverse.com since 1996, can spell, do math, and run faster than your kids—and, he is here to show you just how inferior your kids are. Marvel as Maddox deconstructs an eight-year-old’s crayon-drawn family portrait! Laugh uproariously as he judges sub-par Valentines, homemade “gifts,” and other areas of elementary-aged underperformance! Why reward weakness and mediocrity with gold stars? You are in Maddox’s world now, and no child is safe from the scrutiny and critical gaze of the world’s foremost authority on children’s crappy artwork.
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