Author: The Editors of Woodezine Publisher: ISBN: 9780999781906 Category : Languages : en Pages : 120
Book Description
Here's the perfect gift for the woodworker in your life. It's full of groaners, very clean, and is an excellent excuse to procrastinate instead of making sawdust.
Author: Chester Croker Publisher: ISBN: 9781794474826 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 48
Book Description
If you're looking for carpenter jokes and funny carpentry jokes you've certainly come to the right place. You won't be board with these carpentry jokes. Leaf your phone alone for a while and enjoy these plane and simple carpentry puns and gags, there's simply no need for a splinter group for these carpenter puns and gags. Some of them are old, but some of them are new, and while we don't want to hammer the point too much, we think these jokes will hit the nail on the head. We hope you enjoy our bumper collection of the very best carpenter jokes and stories.
Author: Mark Geoffrey Young Publisher: CreateSpace ISBN: 9781477599341 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 106
Book Description
The Best Ever Book of Woodworker Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Woodworker jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Woodworker Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Woodworker Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Woodworker joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Woodworker jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Woodworkers wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Woodworker and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Woodworker brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Woodworker who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Woodworkers laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***
Author: Garrison Keillor Publisher: Blackstone Publishing ISBN: Category : Humor Languages : en Pages :
Book Description
Over 2,200 Jokes from America’s favorite live radio show A treasury of hilarity from Garrison Keillor and the cast of public radio’s A Prairie Home Companion. A guy walks into a bar. Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. A termite jumps up on the bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?” Drum roll. The Sixth Edition of the perennially popular Pretty Good Joke Book is everything the first five were and more. More puns, one-liners, light bulb jokes, knock-knock jokes, and third-grader jokes (have you heard the one about Elvis Parsley?). More religion jokes, political jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes, and jokes in questionable taste (Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers). More jokes about chickens, relationships, and senior moments (the nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you can enjoy the same jokes again and again). It all started back in 1996, when A Prairie Home Companion fans laughed themselves silly during the first Joke Show. The broadcast was such a hit that it became an almost-annual gagfest. Then fans wanted to read the jokes, share them, and pass them around, and the first Pretty Good Joke Book was born. With over 200 new and updated jokes, the latest edition promises countless giggles, chortles, and guffaws anyone—fans of the radio show or not—will enjoy.
Author: Jim Tolpin Publisher: National Geographic Books ISBN: 1440304289 Category : Crafts & Hobbies Languages : en Pages : 0
Book Description
Working Wood, Not Machining It If you're more interested in working with wood rather than machining it, you will be relieved to learn that expensive powered machinery isn't required to build furniture. You can also forget the dust masks, face shields and hearing protection since many of the safety concerns related to woodworking—the use of power tools—are eliminated. In this book, you'll learn to set up a hand-tool woodworking shop, then discover the toolset, practice the skillset, and understand the mindset—effectively completing a comprehensive course in hand-tool woodworking.
Author: Jerry Seinfeld Publisher: Simon and Schuster ISBN: 1982112743 Category : Biography & Autobiography Languages : en Pages : 480
Book Description
The first book in twenty-five years from “one of our great comic minds” (The Washington Post) features Seinfeld’s best work across five decades in comedy. Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a twenty-one-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from forty-five years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.” For this book, Jerry Seinfeld has selected his favorite material, organized decade by decade. In this “trove of laugh-out-loud one-liners” (Associated Press), you will witness the evolution of one of the great comedians of our time and gain new insights into the thrilling but unforgiving art of writing stand-up comedy.
Author: Raj Haldar Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc. ISBN: 1492695335 Category : Juvenile Nonfiction Languages : en Pages : 35
Book Description
A New York Times Bestseller! A "raucous trip through the odd corners of our alphabet." —The New York Times Let's get real—the English language is bizarre. A might be for apple, but it's also for aisle and aeons. Why does the word "gnat" start with a G but the word "knot" doesn't start with an N? It doesn't always make sense, but don't let these rule-breaking silent letters defeat you! This whimsical, funky book from Raj Haldar (aka rapper Lushlife) turns the traditional idea of an alphabet book on its head, poking fun at the most mischievous words in the English language and demonstrating how to pronounce them. Fun and informative for word nerds of all ages!
Author: Nick Offerman Publisher: Penguin ISBN: 0698138325 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 352
Book Description
Parks and Recreation actor and Making It co-host Nick Offerman shares his humorous fulminations on life, manliness, meat, and much more in this New York Times bestseller. Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman—who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation’s Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking—he runs his own woodshop—Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman’s childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois—“I grew up literally in the middle of a cornfield”—to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally. It also offers hard-bitten battle strategies in the arenas of manliness, love, style, religion, woodworking, and outdoor recreation, among many other savory entrees. A mix of amusing anecdotes, opinionated lessons and rants, sprinkled with offbeat gaiety, Paddle Your Own Canoe will not only tickle readers pink but may also rouse them to put down their smart phones, study a few sycamore leaves, and maybe even hand craft (and paddle) their own canoes.
Author: Jill Poskanzer Publisher: Macmillan + ORM ISBN: 1250096804 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 229
Book Description
From the creators of the eponymous viral Tumblr comes a single day with your favorite authors in one Twilight-Zone-esque Starbucks... Ever wonder which intricate, elaborately-named drinks might be consumed if your favorite authors and characters wandered into a Starbucks? How many pumpkin lattes J.K. Rowling would drink? Or if Cormac McCarthy needed caffeine, which latte would be laconic enough? Look no further; LITERARY STARBUCKS explores such pressing matters with humor and erudition. Set over the course of a single day, and replete with puns and satirized literary styles, the three authors go darker, stronger, and more global than the blog in book format, including illustrations by acclaimed New Yorker cover artist and cartoonist Harry Bliss.
Author: Karen Tongson Publisher: University of Texas Press ISBN: 1477318860 Category : Music Languages : en Pages : 153
Book Description
In the '60s and '70s, America's music scene was marked by raucous excess, reflected in the tragic overdoses of young superstars such as Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin. At the same time, the uplifting harmonies and sunny lyrics that propelled Karen Carpenter and her brother, Richard, to international fame belied a different sort of tragedy—the underconsumption that led to Karen's death at age thirty-two from the effects of an eating disorder. In Why Karen Carpenter Matters, Karen Tongson (whose Filipino musician parents named her after the pop icon) interweaves the story of the singer’s rise to fame with her own trans-Pacific journey between the Philippines—where imitations of American pop styles flourished—and Karen Carpenter’s home ground of Southern California. Tongson reveals why the Carpenters' chart-topping, seemingly whitewashed musical fantasies of "normal love" can now have profound significance for her—as well as for other people of color, LGBT+ communities, and anyone outside the mainstream culture usually associated with Karen Carpenter’s legacy. This hybrid of memoir and biography excavates the destructive perfectionism at the root of the Carpenters’ sound, while finding the beauty in the singer's all too brief life.
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Author: The Editors of Woodezine
Author: Chester Croker
Author: Mark Geoffrey Young
Author: Garrison Keillor
Author: Jim Tolpin
Author: Jerry Seinfeld
Author: Raj Haldar
Author: Nick Offerman
Author: Jill Poskanzer
Author: Karen Tongson