Author: Kathryn Petras Publisher: Workman Publishing ISBN: 0761165916 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 242
Book Description
Presents a series of humorous lists on such topics as things to say to an alien, least complimentary compliments, and impossible-to-follow instructions.
Author: Ross Petras Publisher: Simon and Schuster ISBN: 0671040537 Category : Political science Languages : en Pages : 292
Book Description
...A nonpartisan hall of shame featuring the idiotic utterances, ridiculous slogans, mixed metaphors, and lame excuses that have fallen from the mouths of our fearless leaders around the world, and from the present and past (because stupidity knows no age).
Author: Steven D. Price Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield ISBN: 1493029436 Category : Reference Languages : en Pages : 353
Book Description
A collection of stupid utterances, mostly unintentional--although not always--from politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can put their feet in their mouths. Based on recorded history, it's safe to say that dumb remarks have been with us since the invention of writing. Young or old, rich or poor, famous or unknown, people of all generations and cultures have seized the opportunity to say something dumb - stupidity has always been an equal opportunity employer. In celebration of such mental lapses and pure idiocy, here is a collection of stupid utterances, unintentional and otherwise, from the worlds of politics, radio, television, newspapers, show business, sports, and literature - and everywhere else people can - and have - put their feet in their mouths.
Author: Kathryn Petras Publisher: Workman Publishing ISBN: 076118998X Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 289
Book Description
The thrill of victory! The agony of a tight jockstrap! It’s a celebration of true sports lunacy from the renowned connoisseurs of stupidity, Kathryn and Ross Petras, authors of the beloved 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said calendar. Here from the wide world of professional and amateur sports are the worst plays, most embarrassing achievements, surliest fans, lamest excuses, and wackiest mascot tricks. Plus history-making blowouts: Georgia Tech trounces Cumberland College 222–0. Freakiest injuries: Pitcher Joel Zamaya plays so much Guitar Hero he goes on the DL with tendonitis. Improbable memorabilia: Andre Agassi’s ponytail, Ty Cobb’s dentures. Looniest promotional giveaways: Win a free vasectomy! Bizarre sports from across the globe: Olympic solo synchronized swimming. And dubious superstitions: Baseball Hall of Famer Wade Boggs eats chicken before every game of his 18-year career. And, of course, quotes. From athletes: “We lost because we didn’t win.” (soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo). Coaches: “We were scoring, they were scoring. Then we stopped scoring and they kept scoring” (Cavaliers coach Tyronn Lue). And sportscasters: “Winfield goes back to the wall, he hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It’s rolling all the way back to second base. This is a terrible thing for the Padres!” (announcer Jerry Coleman).
Author: Ross Petras Publisher: Main Street Books ISBN: 0307764621 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 242
Book Description
A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips, spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous and infamous figures past and present -- a complete course in anti-eloquence by the foot-in-mouth champions of all time.
Author: Maura Cullen Publisher: Wordclay ISBN: 1600374913 Category : Business & Economics Languages : en Pages : 160
Book Description
EVEN WELL-INTENDED PEOPLE CAN CAUSE HARM Have you ever heard yourself or someone else say: ""Some of my best friends are... (Black, White, Asian, etc.)""? ""I don't think of you as... (Gay, Disabled, Jewish, etc.)""? ""I don't see color, I'm colorblind""? These statements and dozens like them can build a divide between us and the people we interact with. Though well-intended, they often widen the diversity gap sometimes causing irreparable harm personally and professionally. If you've ever wanted to be more effective in your communication with others, or have been afraid of saying the wrong thing, then this concise guide is essential to becoming more inclusive and diversity-smart. A POWERFUL DIVERSITY TRAINING TOOL FROM ONE OF THE MOST RESPECTED DIVERSITY TRAINERS.
Author: Kathryn Petras Publisher: Workman Publishing Company ISBN: 0761171169 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 273
Book Description
Required reading from great poets of our time. Drew Barrymore: “Upon Pondering Breasts.” Tom Cruise: “An Exegesis on Psychiatry.” Ann Coulter: “My Kind of Fun.” And Trump and Sheen and Snooki, John Boehner and Michelle Bachman, Miley and Ke$ha. Hugo Chavez. Even a Zen haiku by Emmitt Smith: I think it’s his self- confidence in himself that makes him confident. With their great gift for curating the inane public utterances of celebrities, politicians, and other self-important loudmouths, Kathryn and Ross Petras offer a timeless collection of “found” poetry—real quotes formatted as verse for hilarious and surprising effect. The quotes are inherently addictive and funny—but turning them into verse intensifies the effect, making the words even more ridiculous, parodies to revel in. And the Petrases take it one step further: organizing the poems by themes, introducing each work with a Norton Anthology mock seriousness, discussing “schools,” and larding the text with footnotes, The Anthology of Really Important Modern Poetry is pure deadpan pleasure. A whiff of Emily Dickinson in Ann Coulter? It’s literary treasure, right under our noses.
Author: Kathryn Petras Publisher: Villard ISBN: 0307800954 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 231
Book Description
The creme de la crud of screen history "War! War! That's all you think of, Dick Plantagenet! You burner! You pillager!" --Virginia Mayo as Lady Edith to George Sanders in King Richard and the Crusaders (1954) "Visits? That would indicate visitors." --Army captain learning of alien visits in Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) "When I'm sitting here with you, I don't even think about the slime people." --Hero to heroine in The Slime People (1962) "Suck the coffin mushroom now." --The Ultimate Vampire (1991) "This is bad." --Leonardo DiCaprio as the you-know-what hits the you-know-what in Titanic (1997)
Author: Laura Schlessinger Publisher: Dr. Laura Schlessinger ISBN: 9780060929442 Category : Family & Relationships Languages : en Pages : 324
Book Description
For every woman who wants to know what her man is thinking. Internationally syndicated radio superhost and columnist, controversial psycho-therapist, and author of the break-out New York Times bestsellers How Could You Do That?! and Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Dr. Laura Schlessinger is back with Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives. In ten vital, compelling chapters, Dr. Laura speaks her mind on: Stupid Chivalry By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save/transform her. Stupid Independence Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex. Stupid Ambition Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power, and status. Stupid Strength Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive-aggressiveness to regain control. Stupid Sex Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign," you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms. Stupid Matrimony Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to "fix it." Stupid Husbanding Thinking that marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you were single and your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything else. Stupid Parenting Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true "soul food" of a child's hug. Stupid Boyishness Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy. Stupid Machismo Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.
Author: Bill Keaggy Publisher: Simon and Schuster ISBN: 1440312052 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 390
Book Description
If we are what we eat, then this book reveals deep truths about the average American (not to mention more mundane truths like a surprising number of people enjoy onions, and for most people, mayonnaise is very, very difficult to spell). Milk, Eggs, Vodka is a celebration of the humble grocery list. Almost anyone will find themselves engrossed in this voyeuristic look into everyday life—less than healthy lists, lists for parties, lists with personal and often odd annotations on them...and the list of lists goes on. Besides over 150 found lists, the book also includes short essays on collecting, shopping, eating, and list making. Some of the lists will even include recipes that can be made from the ingredients on the list!
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Author: Kathryn Petras
Author: Ross Petras
Author: Steven D. Price
Author: Kathryn Petras
Author: Ross Petras
Author: Maura Cullen
Author: Kathryn Petras
Author: Kathryn Petras
Author: Laura Schlessinger
Author: Bill Keaggy