The Princess Beard

The Princess Beard PDF Author: Kevin Hearne
Publisher: Del Rey
ISBN: 1524797812
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 400

Book Description
This princess can shave herself! The hilarious bestselling authors of Kill the Farm Boy and No Country for Old Gnomes are back with a new adventure in the irreverent world of Pell. Once upon a time, a princess slept in a magical tower cloaked in thorns and roses. When she woke, she found no Prince Charming, only a surfeit of hair and grotesquely long fingernails—which was, honestly, better than some creep who acted without consent. She cut off her long braids and used them to escape. But she kept the beard because it made a great disguise. This is not a story about finding true love’s kiss—it's a story about finding yourself. On a pirate ship. Where you belong. But these are no ordinary pirates aboard The Puffy Peach, serving under Filthy Lucre, the one-eyed parrot pirate captain. First there’s Vic, a swole and misogynistic centaur on a mission to expunge himself of the magic that causes him to conjure tea and dainty cupcakes in response to stress. Then there’s Tempest, who’s determined to become the first dryad lawyer—preferably before she takes her ultimate form as a man-eating tree. They’re joined by Alobartalus, an awkward and unelfly elf who longs to meet his hero, the Sn’archivist who is said to take dictation directly from the gods of Pell. Throw in some mystery meat and a dastardly capitalist plot, and you’ve got one Pell of an adventure on the high seas! In this new escapade set in the magical land of Pell, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly skewer the tropes of fairy tales and create a new kind of fantasy: generous, gently humorous, and inclusive. There might also be otters.

Kill the Farm Boy

Kill the Farm Boy PDF Author: Kevin Hearne
Publisher: Del Rey
ISBN: 1524797758
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 384

Book Description
In an irreverent series in the tradition of Monty Python, the bestselling authors of the Iron Druid Chronicles and Star Wars: Phasma reinvent fantasy, fairy tales, and floridly written feast scenes. “Ranks among the best of Christopher Moore and Terry Pratchett.”—Chuck Wendig “When you put two authors of this high caliber together, expect fireworks. Or at least laughs. What a hoot!”—Terry Brooks Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he’s bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there’s the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy’s untimely death . . . and also very fine cheese. Then there’s a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar “happily ever after” that ever once-upon-a-timed. Praise for Kill the Farm Boy “A rollicking fantasy adventure that upends numerous genre tropes in audacious style . . . a laugh-out-loud-funny fusion of Monty Python–esque humor and whimsy à la Terry Pratchett’s Discworld.”—Kirkus Reviews “Dawson and Hearne’s reimagining of a traditional fairy tale is reminiscent of William Goldman’s The Princess Bride and William Steig’s Shrek! Irreverent, funny, and full of entertaining wordplay, this will keep readers guessing until the end.”—Library Journal “Will have you laughing out loud until strangers begin to look at you oddly.”—SyFy “A smart comedy . . . nuanced, complicated, and human.”—Tordotcom “[Delilah Dawson and Kevin Hearne] make fun of the typical ‘white male power fantasies,’ and in that, they succeed, with their heroes all characters of color and/or falling somewhere under the LGBTQ umbrella.”—Publishers Weekly

Moldylocks and the Three Beards

Moldylocks and the Three Beards PDF Author: Noah Z. Jones
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780545638401
Category : Beards
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
After falling through the refrigerator into the Land of Fake Believe, Princess meets a girl named Moldylocks who takes her to the home of the Three Beards for chili--but when the Beards capture her friend, Princess must come up with a plan to save her.

The Princess Beard, Coloring Book For Kids

The Princess Beard, Coloring Book For Kids PDF Author: Art Boutaieb Publishing
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 42

Book Description
For All Bearded Men's Are you looking for a Great gift for your kids?The Princess beard, Coloring Book for Kids, is a Great Gift for boys and Girls, specially with this Hand-illustrated, cool coloring pages that are designed by Art Boutaieb, for all Beard Lovers, all Bearded Dad's, that's a Nice Gift for all Holidays, and Perfect gift for Kids birthday.

Moldylocks and the Three Beards: A Branches Book (Princess Pink and the Land of Fake-Believe #1)

Moldylocks and the Three Beards: A Branches Book (Princess Pink and the Land of Fake-Believe #1) PDF Author: Noah Z. Jones
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
ISBN: 0545638925
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 84

Book Description
Noah Z. Jones turns well-known fairy tales upside-down in this humorous new series! This series is part of Scholastic's early chapter book line called Branches, which is aimed at newly independent readers. With easy-to-read text, high-interest content, fast-paced plots, and illustrations on every page, these books will boost reading confidence and stamina. Branches books help readers grow!In the Land of Fake Believe, Princess meets a strange girl named Moldylocks. When Princess's stomach grumbles, Moldylocks takes her to the home of the Three Beards. The girls sit in the Beards' chairs, eat their chili, and jump on their beds. The Three Beards are not happy when they get home--and they are very, very hungry! Will Moldylocks and Princess go into the chili pot? With easy-to-read text and engaging full-color artwork throughout, kids will be drawn right into this very funny land of fractured fairy tales!

 PDF Author:
Publisher:
ISBN: 1420143549
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 449

Book Description

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