You Just Don't Understand

You Just Don't Understand PDF Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062210092
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 354

Book Description
From the author of New York Times bestseller You're Wearing That? this bestselling classic work draws upon groundbreaking research by an acclaimed sociolinguist to show that women and men live in different worlds, made of different words. Women and men live in different worlds...made of different words. Spending nearly four years on the New York Times bestseller list, including eight months at number one, You Just Don't Understand is a true cultural and intellectual phenomenon. This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness. With a rare combination of scientific insight and delightful, humorous writing, Tannen shows why women and men can walk away from the same conversation with completely different impressions of what was said. Studded with lively and entertaining examples of real conversations, this book gives you the tools to understand what went wrong -- and to find a common language in which to strengthen relationships at work and at home. A classic in the field of interpersonal relations, this book will change forever the way you approach conversations.

You're Wearing That?

You're Wearing That? PDF Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 081297266X
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 302

Book Description
Deborah Tannen's #1 New York Times bestseller You Just Don’t Understand revolutionized communication between women and men. Now, in her most provocative and engaging book to date, she takes on what is potentially the most fraught and passionate connection of women’s lives: the mother-daughter relationship. It was Tannen who first showed us that men and women speak different languages. Mothers and daughters speak the same language–but still often misunderstand each other, as they struggle to find the right balance between closeness and independence. Both mothers and daughters want to be seen for who they are, but tend to see the other as falling short of who she should be. Each overestimates the other’s power and underestimates her own. Why do daughters complain that their mothers always criticize, while mothers feel hurt that their daughters shut them out? Why do mothers and daughters critique each other on the Big Three–hair, clothes, and weight–while longing for approval and understanding? And why do they scrutinize each other for reflections of themselves? Deborah Tannen answers these and many other questions as she explains why a remark that would be harmless coming from anyone else can cause an explosion when it comes from your mother or your daughter. She examines every aspect of this complex dynamic, from the dark side that can shadow a woman throughout her life, to the new technologies like e-mail and instant messaging that are transforming mother-daughter communication. Most important, she helps mothers and daughters understand each other, the key to improving their relationship. With groundbreaking insights, pitch-perfect dialogues, and deeply moving memories of her own mother, Tannen untangles the knots daughters and mothers can get tied up in. Readers will appreciate Tannen’s humor as they see themselves on every page and come away with real hope for breaking down barriers and opening new lines of communication. Eye-opening and heartfelt, You’re Wearing That? illuminates and enriches one of the most important relationships in our lives. “Tannen analyzes and decodes scores of conversations between moms and daughters. These exchanges are so real they can make you squirm as you relive the last fraught conversation you had with your own mother or daughter. But Tannen doesn't just point out the pitfalls of the mother-daughter relationship, she also provides guidance for changing the conversations (or the way that we feel about the conversations) before they degenerate into what Tannen calls a mutually aggravating spiral, a "self-perpetuating cycle of escalating responses that become provocations." – The San Francisco Chronicle

They Just Don't Get It

They Just Don't Get It PDF Author: Colonel David Hunt
Publisher: Forum Books
ISBN: 0307237761
Category : Political Science
Languages : en
Pages : 160

Book Description
No more politics—just the truth about what we can and must do to protect ourselves. Fox News military analyst Colonel David Hunt has dedicated his career to fighting terrorism. A twenty-nine-year U.S. Army veteran, he has helped take out an active terrorist camp, trained the FBI and Special Forces in counterterrorism tactics, and served as security adviser to six different Olympic Games. And Colonel Hunt is angry. Why? Because even after the terrorist attacks on our country and on Americans around the world, the people charged with protecting us—the politicians and the bureaucrats in military and intelligence—still aren’t getting the job done. They Just Don’t Get It provides a much-needed wake-up call to all Americans. As politicians posture and pundits bicker, we’re losing sight of the fundamental problem: We’re still not equipped to win the War on Terror. In fact, the terrorist threat is far worse than we feared, as made frighteningly clear by the fifty pages of documents published here for the first time—including a shocking manual taken from the terrorists themselves. But instead of just complaining, Colonel Hunt tells us exactly what we must do—without regard to political game-playing—to emerge victorious in the challenge that history has given us. These are changes we can make at every level—as individual citizens, as a government, and as a military power. As he shows in this book, while the government and our military lead the fight to protect us, ordinary citizens can and must contribute. They Just Don’t Get It reveals: • What you can do to keep your family safe • How many of the government’s recent “reforms” are mere window dressing or, worse, counterproductive • How we can fight this war and still safeguard our civil liberties and the American way of life • How to fix the intelligence disaster (and yes, the politicians in D.C. still haven’t fixed it) • How we got into this mess in the first place: it’s mostly because our government let the problem fester for three decades Colonel Hunt is no cautious bureaucrat or finger-pointer looking for political gain. He is a straight shooter with deep insight into what’s happening in the War on Terror—on the ground and in the government. They Just Don’t Get It lays out in clear and compelling terms the steps we must take—all of us—to win the War on Terror and ensure our survival as a free, proud, and strong nation. From They Just Don’t Get It We’re fighting a war for our very survival, so we’d better figure out how to win. That’s why I’m writing this book—to show us how we can win, how we can protect ourselves. As a Fox News military analyst, I’m paid to offer insight into how our armed forces are conducting the fight against our enemies. But this book shows that to win the War on Terror we need to concern ourselves with more than just military tactics. For one thing, we need to look at what our political leaders are doing. The sad truth is that they still don’t get it. Then there’s intelligence. You’ve heard about our intelligence failures, but I doubt you know how bad it really is—even after the “reforms.” I’m going to tell you. And another critical dimension to this story usually gets overlooked—what you can do. The fact is, you can do a lot. Hell, you must do a lot. A selection of American Compass

You Just Don't Understand

You Just Don't Understand PDF Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0060959622
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 354

Book Description
Women and men live in different worlds...made of different words. Spending nearly four years on the New York Times bestseller list, including eight months at number one, You Just Don't Understand is a true cultural and intellectual phenomenon. This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness. With a rare combination of scientific insight and delightful, humorous writing, Tannen shows why women and men can walk away from the same conversation with completely different impressions of what was said. Studded with lively and entertaining examples of real conversations, this book gives you the tools to understand what went wrong -- and to find a common language in which to strengthen relationships at work and at home. A classic in the field of interpersonal relations, this book will change forever the way you approach conversations.

Finding My Father

Finding My Father PDF Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 110188584X
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 272

Book Description
A #1 New York Times bestselling author traces her father’s life from turn-of-the-century Warsaw to New York City in an intimate memoir about family, memory, and the stories we tell. “An accomplished, clear-eyed, and affecting memoir about a man who is at once ordinary and extraordinary.”—Forward Long before she was the acclaimed author of a groundbreaking book about women and men, praised by Oliver Sacks for having “a novelist’s ear for the way people speak,” Deborah Tannen was a girl who adored her father. Though he was often absent during her childhood, she was profoundly influenced by his gift for writing and storytelling. As she grew up and he grew older, she spent countless hours recording conversations with her father for the account of his life she had promised him she’d write. But when he hands Tannen journals he kept in his youth, and she discovers letters he saved from a woman he might have married instead of her mother, she is forced to rethink her assumptions about her father’s life and her parents’ marriage. In this memoir, Tannen embarks on the poignant, yet perilous, quest to piece together the puzzle of her father’s life. Beginning with his astonishingly vivid memories of the Hasidic community in Warsaw, where he was born in 1908, she traces his journey: from arriving in New York City in 1920 to quitting high school at fourteen to support his mother and sister, through a vast array of jobs, including prison guard and gun-toting alcohol tax inspector, to eventually establishing the largest workers’ compensation law practice in New York and running for Congress. As Tannen comes to better understand her father’s—and her own—relationship to Judaism, she uncovers aspects of his life she would never have imagined. Finding My Father is a memoir of Eli Tannen’s life and the ways in which it reflects the near century that he lived. Even more than that, it’s an unflinching account of a daughter’s struggle to see her father clearly, to know him more deeply, and to find a more truthful story about her family and herself.

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Third Edition

I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Third Edition PDF Author: Jerold J. Kreisman
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0593418506
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 337

Book Description
The revised and expanded third edition of the bestselling guide to understanding borderline personality disorder—with advice for communicating with and helping the borderline individuals in your life. After more than three decades as the essential guide to borderline personality disorder (BPD), the third edition of I Hate You—Don’t Leave Me now reflects the most up-to-date research that has opened doors to the neurobiological, genetic, and developmental roots of the disorder, as well as connections between BPD and substance abuse, sexual abuse, post-traumatic stress syndrome, ADHD, and eating disorders. Both pharmacological and psychotherapeutic advancements point to real hope for success in the treatment and understanding of BPD. This expanded and revised edition is an invaluable resource for those diagnosed with BPD and their family, friends, and colleagues, as well as professionals and students in the field, and the practical tools and advice are easy to understand and use in your day-to-day interactions with the borderline individuals in your life.

They Just Don't Get It!

They Just Don't Get It! PDF Author: Leslie Yerkes
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
ISBN: 157675328X
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 160

Book Description
This book provides solutions for two of the most common problems expressed by individuals and organizations in their work and personal relationships: ineffective communication and resistance to change.

I Only Say This Because I Love You

I Only Say This Because I Love You PDF Author: Deborah Tannen
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345407520
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 369

Book Description
Why does talk in families so often go in circles, leaving us tied up in knots? In this illuminating book, Deborah Tannen, the linguist and and bestselling author of You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages —unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom. This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.

You Just Don't Get It

You Just Don't Get It PDF Author: Toya Wright Publishing
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780997217841
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :

Book Description

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