The Middling Affliction

Author: Alex Shvartsman
Publisher: CAEZIK SF & Fantasy
ISBN: 9781647100544
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 230

Book Description
The Dresden Files meets American Gods in New York City. What would you do if you lost everything that mattered to you, as well as all means to protect yourself and others, but still had to save the day? Conrad Brent is about to find out. Conrad Brent protects the people of Brooklyn from monsters and magical threats. The snarky, wisecracking guardian also has a dangerous secret: he's one in a million - literally. Magical ability comes to about one in every 30,000 and can manifest at any age. Conrad is rarer than this, however. He's a middling, one of the half-gifted and totally despised. Most of the gifted community feels that middlings should be instantly killed. The few who don't flat out hate them still aren't excited to be around middlings. Meaning Conrad can't tell anyone, not even his best friends, what he really is. Conrad hides in plain sight by being a part of the volunteer Watch, those magically gifted who protect their cities from dangerous, arcane threats. And, to pay the bills, Conrad moonlights as a private detective and monster hunter for the gifted community. Which helps him keep up his personal fiction - that he's a magical version of Batman. Conrad does both jobs thanks to charms, artifacts, and his wits, along with copious amounts of coffee. But little does he know that events are about to change his life...forever. When Conrad discovers the Traveling Fair auction house has another middling who's just manifested her so-called powers on the auction block, he's determined to save her, regardless of risk. But what he finds out while doing so is even worse - the winning bidder works for a company that's just created the most dangerous chemical weapon to ever hit the magical community. Before Conrad can convince anyone at the Watch of the danger, he's exposed for what he really is. Now, stripped of rank, magical objects, friends and allies, Conrad has to try to save the world with only his wits. Thankfully though, no one's taken away his coffee.

The Cackle of Cthulhu

Author: Alex Shvartsman
Publisher: Baen Books
ISBN: 1625796242
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 337

Book Description
TOP AUTHORS POKE FUN AND PAY TRIBUTE TO H.P. LOVECRAFT'S CTHULHU MYTHOS. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cthul. Cthul who? Exactly! I've come to tickle your funnybone. Oh, and also to eat your soul. In 1928, Weird Tales debuted “The Call of Cthulhu” by H.P. Lovecraft, and the Cthulhu Mythos was born. In the 90 years since, dozens of writers have dared play within HPL’s mind-blowing creation—but never with such terrifyingly funny results. Now top authors lampoon, parody, and subvert Lovecraft’s Mythos. See Cthulhu cut short his nap at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean to invade North Korea! Watch the Unspeakable Eater of Souls solve crimes on the pulpy streets of Innsmouth! And speaking of largish Elder Gods, listen to a plastic Elvis doll dispense folksy advice straight from the heart of the Emperor of Dread! Again Ol’ Tentacle-Face is confronted by frail humans who dare defy the Incarnation of Ultimate Evil—but this time not by brave monster hunters and terrified villagers, but by fan fiction writers, clueless college students, and corporate lawyers (okay, we realize it’s hard to know who to root for in that confrontation). Twenty-three mirthful manifestations within the Cthulhu Mythos from best-selling and award-winning authors Neil Gaiman, Mike Resnick, Esther Friesner, Ken Liu, Jody Lynn Nye, Laura Resnick, Nick Mamatas, and many more! Guaranteed to leave you howling. Because if you look at it just right, there’s nothing funnier than a soul writhing in cosmic horror before a tentacled maw of malevolence. As HPL himself saith: “From even the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.” Praise for the Unidentified Funny Objects anthologies, edited by Alex Shvartsman: “This book is a delight. There are a lot of giggles here, and every now and then you’ll laugh your head off. This is a hoot from start to finish.”—Galaxy’s Edge “Shvartsman delivers a wonderful anthology and if you want to broaden your humorous SFF reading, Unidentified Funny Objects is a great place to start.”— A Fantastical Librarian Praise for Alex Shvartsman: “Shvartsman is an entertaining writer who can take on many voices and make them his.” –Locus “Alex Shvartsman’s comedy is bright and direct with clever dialogue of both the inner and outer sort.”—Tangent Online Complete Contributor List: Neil Gaiman Jody Lynn Nye Mike Resnick Ken Liu Nick Mamatas Esther Friesner David Vaughan Kevin Wetmore Shaenon K. Garrity Brian Trent Alex Shvartsman Rachael Klahn Jones Yvonne Navarro Scott Huggins Gini Koch Aidan Doyle Konstantine Paradias Amanda Helms Laura Resnick Matt Mikalatos Laura Pearlman Lucy A. Snyder Original stories by David Vaughan, Jody Lynn Nye, Mike Resnick, Brian Trent, Yvonne Navarro, G. Scott Huggins, Gini Koch, Aidan Doyle, Amanda Helms, Laura Resnick, Laura Pearlman, Lucy Snyder, and Nick Mamatas. Reprints by Esther Friesener, Kevin Wetmore, Shaenon K. Garrity, Alex Shvatsman, Ken Liu, Rachael K. Jones, Neil Gaiman, Konstantine Paradias, and Matt Mikalatos. **

Funny Science Fiction

Author: Mike Resnick
Publisher: UFO Publishing
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 257

Book Description
Seventeen of the funniest science fiction stories published in the past decade (2005-2015), featuring alien invasions, global conspiracies, time travel and even animal uprisings. Fiction by Hugo and Nebula award winners and nominees as well as talented newcomers. Stories were selected by the Unidentified Funny Objects series curator Alex Shvartsman.

Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma and Other Stories

Author: Alex Shvartsman
Publisher: UFO Publishing
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 474

Book Description
40 short stories by Alex Shvartsman, winner of the 2014 WSFA Small Press Award for Short Fiction. * An elder god trapped in a pocket dimension turns up in the world's oldest magic pawn shop. * A cybernetically-enhanced assassin who can't feel pain faces a dangerous adversary. * A computer hacker and a mystic team up to break into the Book of Fate and change their futures. * Vatican investigators are called to examine a miracle on another planet. and much, much more! Each story includes author notes, written for this collection. Praise for "Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma": "Wit, sentiment, imagination--Alex Shvartsman's got them all." -Mike Resnick, Hugo award winner. "Fantastic variety and scope ... Prepare to be entertained, delighted and amazed." -Esther Friesner, Nebula award winner. "His stories feature tightly constructed, intricate, puzzle-like plots with clever banter and plenty of fresh, twisted pop culture references." -Ken Liu, Hugo and Nebula award winner "Full of intriguing ideas and wit." -Jody Lynn Nye, bestselling author "A wonderful collection of short stories that will make you laugh, think and feel." -Gini Koch, bestselling author "If you ever need to explain Cthulhu to your Grandma, this is the place to start." -Henry Gee, senior editor at Nature.

Unidentified Funny Objects 7

Author: Seanan McGuire
Publisher: UFO Publishing
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 288

Book Description
SCIENCE FICTION, FANTASY, HUMOR The Unidentified Funny Objects series delivers an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices! * A long time ago in a galaxy close enough not to violate any copyrights, the clone army fighting for the side of the evil empire is made up of a bunch of bros named Chad. * Can a couple of wise guys from New Jersey broker a sit down between two groups of warring aliens? * Witness an epic battle of mad science vs. dark magic. * US presidents elected in 1860 and 1960 were both assassinated. What's going to happen to whoever's elected in 2060? * Beware the dragon polite enough to return your drone after it breached the barriers between worlds and bonked him on the snout.

Gil's All Fright Diner

Author: A. Lee Martinez
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 1429913622
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 272

Book Description
Bloodier than Fried Green Tomatoes! Funnier than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre! Welcome to Gil's All Night Diner, where zombie attacks are a regular occurrence and you never know what might be lurking in the freezer . . . Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley. But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg. Seems someone's out to drive Loretta from the Diner, and more than willing to raise a little Hell on Earth if that's what it takes. Before Duke and Earl get to the bottom of the Diner's troubles, they'll run into such otherworldly complications as undead cattle, an amorous ghost, a jailbait sorceress, and the terrifying occult power of pig-latin. And maybe--just maybe--the End of the World, too. Gory, sexy, and flat-out hilarious, Gil's All Fright Diner will tickle your funnybone--before ripping it out of its socket! At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Suffering and the Sovereignty of God

Author: John Piper
Publisher: Crossway
ISBN: 143351902X
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 258

Book Description
In the last few years, 9/11, a tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, and many other tragedies have shown us that the vision of God in today's churches in relation to evil and suffering is often frivolous. Against the overwhelming weight and seriousness of the Bible, many Christians are choosing to become more shallow, more entertainment-oriented, and therefore irrelevant in the face of massive suffering. In Suffering and the Sovereignty of God, contributors John Piper, Joni Eareckson Tada, Steve Saint, Carl Ellis, David Powlison, Dustin Shramek, and Mark Talbot explore the many categories of God's sovereignty as evidenced in his Word. They urge readers to look to Christ, even in suffering, to find the greatest confidence, deepest comfort, and sweetest fellowship they have ever known.

The Tale of Ak and Humanity

Author: Yefim Zozulya
Publisher: Tor Books
ISBN: 125084102X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 24

Book Description
"The Tale of Ak and Humanity" is a Tor.com Original from sci-fi author Yefim Zozula. Citizens are distraught to learn of the latest decree from their leaders: each person is to be evaluated as to whether they deserve to live. Those found "unnecessary for life" will be asked to "leave life within 24 hours." Panic is alleviated when citizens learn that Ak, "a luminous person," will be in charge of the panels that are to evaluate citizens. Surely, only the "human rubbish" would be eliminated. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

The Golem and the Jinni

Author: Helene Wecker
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062110853
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 426

Book Description
“An intoxicating fusion of fantasy and historical fiction. . . . Wecker’s storytelling skills dazzle." —Entertainment Weekly A marvelous and absorbing debut novel about a chance meeting between two supernatural creatures in turn-of-the-century immigrant New York. Chava is a golem, a creature made of clay by a disgraced rabbi knowledgeable in the ways of dark Kabbalistic magic. She serves as the wife to a Polish merchant who dies at sea on the voyage to America. As the ship arrives in New York in 1899, Chava is unmoored and adrift until a rabbi on the Lower East Side recognizes her for the creature she is and takes her in. Ahmad is a jinni, a being of fire born in the ancient Syrian desert and trapped centuries ago in an old copper flask by a Bedouin wizard. Released by a Syrian tinsmith in a Manhattan shop, Ahmad appears in human form but is still not free. An iron band around his wrist binds him to the wizard and to the physical world. Chava and Ahmad meet accidentally and become friends and soul mates despite their opposing natures. But when the golem’s violent nature overtakes her one evening, their bond is challenged. An even more powerful threat will emerge, however, and bring Chava and Ahmad together again, challenging their very existence and forcing them to make a fateful choice. Compulsively readable, The Golem and the Jinni weaves strands of Yiddish and Middle Eastern literature, historical fiction and magical fable, in a wondrously inventive tale that is mesmerizing and unforgettable.

In One Person

Author: John Irving
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451664133
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 429

Book Description
Billy, a solitary bisexual man, is dedicated to making himself worthwhile.