Stupidest Things Ever Said

Stupidest Things Ever Said PDF Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Workman Publishing
ISBN: 0761165916
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 242

Book Description
Presents a series of humorous lists on such topics as things to say to an alien, least complimentary compliments, and impossible-to-follow instructions.

The Dumbest Things Ever Said

The Dumbest Things Ever Said PDF Author: Steven D. Price
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN: 1493029436
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 353

Book Description
A collection of stupid utterances, mostly unintentional--although not always--from politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can put their feet in their mouths. Based on recorded history, it's safe to say that dumb remarks have been with us since the invention of writing. Young or old, rich or poor, famous or unknown, people of all generations and cultures have seized the opportunity to say something dumb - stupidity has always been an equal opportunity employer. In celebration of such mental lapses and pure idiocy, here is a collection of stupid utterances, unintentional and otherwise, from the worlds of politics, radio, television, newspapers, show business, sports, and literature - and everywhere else people can - and have - put their feet in their mouths.

The Stupidest Sports Book of All Time

The Stupidest Sports Book of All Time PDF Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
ISBN: 1523501979
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 289

Book Description
The thrill of victory, the agony of a tight jockstrap. It’s the reason we love sports—you never know what’s going to happen. Sometimes everything clicks, with the best athlete in the world competing at their peak, and the result is a thing of breathtaking beauty. But sometimes the opposite happens, resulting in moments of breathtaking hilarity, or astonishing inanity, or just plain head-scratching puzzlement. Welcome to The Stupidest Sports Book of All Time. Featuring: The most boring games in sports history Wise(ish) words on winning Stupid mascot antics The strangest things coaches have done to motivate teams And much, much more!

The Anthology of Really Important Modern Poetry

The Anthology of Really Important Modern Poetry PDF Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
ISBN: 0761171169
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 273

Book Description
Required reading from great poets of our time. Drew Barrymore: “Upon Pondering Breasts.” Tom Cruise: “An Exegesis on Psychiatry.” Ann Coulter: “My Kind of Fun.” And Trump and Sheen and Snooki, John Boehner and Michelle Bachman, Miley and Ke$ha. Hugo Chavez. Even a Zen haiku by Emmitt Smith: I think it’s his self- confidence in himself that makes him confident. With their great gift for curating the inane public utterances of celebrities, politicians, and other self-important loudmouths, Kathryn and Ross Petras offer a timeless collection of “found” poetry—real quotes formatted as verse for hilarious and surprising effect. The quotes are inherently addictive and funny—but turning them into verse intensifies the effect, making the words even more ridiculous, parodies to revel in. And the Petrases take it one step further: organizing the poems by themes, introducing each work with a Norton Anthology mock seriousness, discussing “schools,” and larding the text with footnotes, The Anthology of Really Important Modern Poetry is pure deadpan pleasure. A whiff of Emily Dickinson in Ann Coulter? It’s literary treasure, right under our noses.

The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said

The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said PDF Author: Ross Petras
Publisher: Main Street Books
ISBN: 0307764621
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 242

Book Description
A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips, spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous and infamous figures past and present -- a complete course in anti-eloquence by the foot-in-mouth champions of all time.

Ego Vs. Soul in Sports

Ego Vs. Soul in Sports PDF Author: Ken Reed
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 1524541508
Category : Sports & Recreation
Languages : en
Pages : 361

Book Description
Imagine. Imagine the world of sports without ego. No more trashtalking, showboating, cheating, cheap shots, or running up the score. No more wackadoo parents and coaches ruining youth sports. No more prima donna athletes with an inflated view of their own importance. The win-at-all-costs mentality? Gone. The me-first athlete? History. Greedy owners that put their wallets ahead of whats best for the game? Bye-bye. As John Lennon once sang, Imagine . . . Sports have always brought out the best and worst in people. One of the compelling aspects of sports is that character is openly on display. Problem is, the ugly side of sports is getting way too loud these days. The ego in sports has run amok. And as the ego takes center stage, win-at-all-costs (WAAC) and profit-at-all-costs (PAAC) mentalities and behaviors begin to dominate. Things like sportsmanship start to take a backseat. Nevertheless, despite all the ego- and greed-based negativity in todays sports world, there are still some pearls out there, little stories in the back of the sports section that stir the soul. While too many sports center headlines bring forth feelings of shame, its the snippets about obscure athletes that bless us with shining examples of the human spirit and give us reason for hope. This is a book of short essays about sport at its best and sport at its worst. Hopefully, the book is somewhat entertaining and, occasionally, even enlightening. Ultimately, however, the books goal is to inspire those who love sports to find a way to make the sports world a better place to be. And that means a place with a lot less ego and a lot more soul. Because in the big picture, it really is about how you play the game.

Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives

Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives PDF Author: Laura Schlessinger
Publisher: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
ISBN: 9780060929442
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 324

Book Description
For every woman who wants to know what her man is thinking. Internationally syndicated radio superhost and columnist, controversial psycho-therapist, and author of the break-out New York Times bestsellers How Could You Do That?! and Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Dr. Laura Schlessinger is back with Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives. In ten vital, compelling chapters, Dr. Laura speaks her mind on: Stupid Chivalry By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save/transform her. Stupid Independence Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex. Stupid Ambition Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power, and status. Stupid Strength Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive-aggressiveness to regain control. Stupid Sex Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign," you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms. Stupid Matrimony Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to "fix it." Stupid Husbanding Thinking that marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you were single and your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything else. Stupid Parenting Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true "soul food" of a child's hug. Stupid Boyishness Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy. Stupid Machismo Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.

Stupid Movie Lines

Stupid Movie Lines PDF Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0307800954
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 231

Book Description
The creme de la crud of screen history "War! War! That's all you think of, Dick Plantagenet! You burner! You pillager!" --Virginia Mayo as Lady Edith to George Sanders in King Richard and the Crusaders (1954) "Visits? That would indicate visitors." --Army captain learning of alien visits in Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) "When I'm sitting here with you, I don't even think about the slime people." --Hero to heroine in The Slime People (1962) "Suck the coffin mushroom now." --The Ultimate Vampire (1991) "This is bad." --Leonardo DiCaprio as the you-know-what hits the you-know-what in Titanic (1997)

35 Dumb Things Well-Intended People Say

35 Dumb Things Well-Intended People Say PDF Author: Maura Cullen
Publisher: Wordclay
ISBN: 1600374913
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 160

Book Description
EVEN WELL-INTENDED PEOPLE CAN CAUSE HARM Have you ever heard yourself or someone else say: ""Some of my best friends are... (Black, White, Asian, etc.)""? ""I don't think of you as... (Gay, Disabled, Jewish, etc.)""? ""I don't see color, I'm colorblind""? These statements and dozens like them can build a divide between us and the people we interact with. Though well-intended, they often widen the diversity gap sometimes causing irreparable harm personally and professionally. If you've ever wanted to be more effective in your communication with others, or have been afraid of saying the wrong thing, then this concise guide is essential to becoming more inclusive and diversity-smart. A POWERFUL DIVERSITY TRAINING TOOL FROM ONE OF THE MOST RESPECTED DIVERSITY TRAINERS.

Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old

Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old PDF Author: Steven Petrow
Publisher: Citadel
ISBN: 0806541008
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 274

Book Description
For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on award-winning journalist Steven Petrow's wildly popular New York Times essay, "Things I'll Do Differently When I Get Old." Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical. The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way... In Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’” Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding. Praise for Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: “Unbelievably witty and relatable, I alternated bursting into laughter and placing my hand over my face in horror thinking, Oh my God, is that me? I often say, at this age we have something young people can never have…wisdom. My dear friend, Steven Petrow, has wisdom to share in this honest, funny, wry guide to keep us young at heart, without desperately hanging onto our youth. I am buying this book for all of my friends!” —Suzanne Somers, New York Times bestselling author of A New Way to Age “Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old is an irreverent, funny, honest look at aging and all the things we take for granted as normal parts of aging. They don’t need to be. If you struggle with getting older and want to find a fresh perspective on lessons learned about what NOT to do as we age, and what TO do to stay young in heart, spirit, mind and body, read this book.” —Mark Hyman, MD, #1 New York Times bestseller author of The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet, and Head of Strategy and Innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine. “Steven Petrow resolved to do things differently than his parents had when he gets old because he wished they’d been able to enjoy life more. His solution? He created a list! In this book, he shares the secrets to living a full life regardless of our age. It's all about the decisions we make every day. My advice in a nutshell: Read this book and keep it handy.” —“Dear Abby” (Jeanne Phillips), nationally syndicated advice columnist “It’s never too early to imagine what your life will look like as you age. And as I once wrote, ‘We are not hostages to our fate.’ Petrow’s book will help you plan, think, and redefine what it means to get older—and even laugh while doing it.” —Andrew Weil, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Spontaneous Healing and Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to Your Well-Being “Steven Petrow not only has a great attitude about life, he is wise about how to live it. Like me, he says we should embrace our one life 100% and not let a number—our age—get in the way of anything! Steven’s book will help you rethink the word “aging” and approach this next chapter with a positive and proactive attitude. Plus, this book is fun!” —Denise Austin, renowned fitness expert, author, and columnist “Steven’s writing feels like sitting with a friend—one who is unusually gracious, warm and frank.” —Carolyn Hax, author of the nationally syndicated advice column, Carolyn Hax Praise for Steven Petrow: "Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners helps gays and straights navigate the subtleties of the same-sex world." —People "Move over, Emily Post! When it comes to etiquette for members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community—as well as their straight friends, family members and coworkers--author and journalist Steven Petrow is the authority." —TIME "What could've easily become a novelty book has emerged as an exhaustively researched, essential resource thanks to advice columnist and etiquette expert Steven Petrow." —The Advocate "From having kids to planning funerals, Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners has most facets of gay life covered. Ms. Post would approve." —Entertainment Weekly "An indispensable refresher course...on what's proper in modern...life." —Kirkus Reviews
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