They Call Me Naughty Lola

Author: David Rose
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416545042
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 175

Book Description
I've divorced better men than you. And worn more expensive shoes than these. So don't think placing this ad is the biggest comedown I've ever had to make. Sensitive F, 34. Employed in publishing? Me too. Stay the hell away. Man on the inside seeks woman on the outside who likes milling around hospitals guessing the illnesses of out-patients. 30-35. Leeds. They Call Me Naughty Lola is a testament to the creativity and humor that can still be found among men and women longing for love and allergic to the concepts of Internet and speed dating. Here is an irresistible collection of the most brilliant and often absurd personal ads from the world's funniest -- and most erudite -- lonely-hearts column. The ads have been called "surreal haikus of the heart," and in an age of false advertising, the men and women who write them are hindered neither by high expectations nor by positivism of any kind. And yet, while hopes of finding a suitable mate remain low, the column has produced a handful of marriages, many friendships, and at least one divorce. Here are the young, old, fat, bald, healthy, ill, rich, and poor hoping that they can find true love, or at the very least, someone to call them Naughty Lola.

Whoops! But It Wasn't Me

Author: Lauren Child
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101588101
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 36

Book Description
Charlie has this little sister, Lola. Lola has been playing with Charlie’s very special rocket. Charlie says, “Did you break my rocket?” Lola says, “You absolutely told me to not ever never touch it… ever.”

Sexually, I'm More of a Switzerland

Author: David Rose
Publisher: Picador
ISBN: 9780330519007
Category : Personals
Languages : en
Pages : 178

Book Description
Personal ads -- men and women of all ages, backgrounds and aspirations, laying their souls bare and their hearts on the line -- are the modern world's equivalent of the Japanese haiku . . . or something like that, anyway. Painstakingly crafted, finely honed and, above all, short, they offer an endearing, intriguing and, often, amusing glimpse into the lives of those looking for love. Amid the witty one-liners and laugh-out-punchlines, there is pathos and passion aplenty; there is hope, longing and even good old-fashioned lust; there is romance, regret, ambition, and, occasionally, a hint of bitterness. Whatever the tone, however, these ads make for engrossing reading. Organized into themes ('Mentally, I'm a size eight' and 'Forty years ago I was going to marry Elvis') and fully annotated, Sexually, I'm more of a Switzerland is the perfect gift for the man or woman in your life -- as well as single friends everywhere. 'Woman, 36. WLTM man who doesn't try to high-five her after sex'

Honky Tonk Hero

Author: Billy Joe Shaver
Publisher: University of Texas Press
ISBN: 9780292706132
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 220

Book Description
Willie Nelson says, "Billy Joe Shaver may be the best songwriter alive today." And legions of fans agree. "Honky Tonk Hero" is the story of a man who not only walked on the wild side and lived to tell about it, but also got it all down in songs that many people consider to be some of the finest country songs ever written.

The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love

Author: Jill Conner Browne
Publisher: Crown Archetype
ISBN: 1400082854
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 225

Book Description
To know the Sweet Potato Queens is to love them, and if you haven't heard about them yet, you will. Since the early 1980s, this group of belles gone bad has been the toast of Jackson, Mississippi, with their glorious annual appearance in the St. Patrick's Day parade. In The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love, their royal ringleader, Jill Conner Browne, introduces the Queens to the world with this sly, hilarious manifesto about love, life, men, and the importance of being prepared. Chapters include: • The True Magic Words Guaranteed to Get Any Man to Do Your Bidding • The Five Men You Must Have in Your Life at All Times • Men Who May Need Killing, Quite Frankly • What to Eat When Tragedy Strikes, or Just for Entertainment • The Best Advice Ever Given in the Entire History of the World From tales of the infamous Sweet Potato Queens' Promise to the joys of Chocolate Stuff and Fat Mama's Knock You Naked Margaritas, this irreverent, shamelessly funny book is the gen-u-wine article.

Anna and the French Kiss

Author: Stephanie Perkins
Publisher: Usborne Publishing Ltd
ISBN: 1409579956
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 346

Book Description
Anna had everything figured out – she was about to start senior year with her best friend, she had a great weekend job and her huge work crush looked as if it might finally be going somewhere... Until her dad decides to send her 4383 miles away to Paris. On her own. But despite not speaking a word of French, Anna finds herself making new friends, including Étienne St. Clair, the smart, beautiful boy from the floor above. But he's taken – and Anna might be too. Will a year of romantic near-misses end with the French kiss she's been waiting for?

Naughty on Ice

Author: Maia Chance
Publisher: Minotaur Books
ISBN: 1250109086
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 285

Book Description
Naughty on Ice is the latest in Maia Chance’s dazzlingly fun Prohibition-era caper series featuring society matron Lola Woodby and her stalwart Swedish cook, Berta. The Discreet Retrieval Agency is doing a brisk holiday business of retrieving lost parcels, grandmas, and stolen wreaths. But with their main squeezes Ralph and Jimmy once more on the back burner, both Lola and Berta pine for a holiday out of New York City. So when they receive a mysterious Christmas card requesting that they retrieve an antique ring at a family gathering in Maple Hill, Vermont, they jump at the chance. Sure, the card is signed Anonymous and it’s vaguely threatening, but it’s Vermont. In Maple Hill, several estranged members of the wealthy Goddard family gather. And no sooner do Lola and Berta recover the ring—from Great-Aunt Cressida Goddard’s arthritic finger—than Mrs. Goddard goes toes-up, poisoned by her Negroni cocktail on ice. When the police arrive, Lola and Berta are caught-red-handed with the ring, and it becomes clear that they were in fact hired not for their cracker-jack retrieving abilities, but to be scapegoats for murder. With no choice but to unmask the killer or be thrown in the slammer, Lola and Berta’s investigations lead them deep into the secrets of Maple Hill. In a breathless pursuit along a snowy ridge, with a lovelorn Norwegian ski instructor and country bumpkin hooch smugglers hot on their heels, Lola and Berta must find out once and for all who’s nice...and who’s naughty.

Simple Dreams

Author: Linda Ronstadt
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451668732
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 256

Book Description
Includes discography (page 203-225) and index.

The Naughty Corner

Author: Jasmine Haynes
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0425266230
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 322

Book Description
Somebody's been a bad girl... Writer Lola Cook is on a deadline. Meeting it gets twice as difficult when she finds herself in the unwelcome role of babysitter for her nephews. Two months with the twin teenage terrors is too much for Lola--until she has a brilliant idea: send the boys to football camp. That'll at least get them out of her hair for five hours every day. Perfect. Divorced father Gray Barnett has coached summer football camp long enough to know he'll get saddled with misfits, but William and Harry exceed all expectations. They're impossible, they're disruptive, and when he meets their hot aunt Lola, they're worth the trouble. That is, if Lola accepts Gray's conditions. Every time the twins misbehave, it's Lola who must take their punishment. With every naughty infraction, Lola gets more and more accepting--of the penalties. She has no idea just how bad a girl she can be--or how much fun she'll have getting what she deserves.

Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth!

Author: Bimisi Tayanita
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781946178039
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 32

Book Description
Curious but not concerned as to where they would sleep that night, Bimisi and Sumguyen aimlessly meandered down the cobblestone calles of Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. As the sun set over the Pacific they found themselves sequestered by a weathered native peddler who mimed towards his cart and through his guttural broken english encouraged them to "Put Tony's nuts in your mouth..."60 pesos later, as a cold cerveza washed down the first of Tony's nuts,pen was put to parchment and book four of season one came to be.Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth is the fourth of five books that make up Reach Around Books Season One.