Constructive Wallowing

Author: Tina Gilbertson
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1936740966
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 159

Book Description
“Constructive wallowing” seems like an oxymoron. Constructive is a good thing, but wallowing is bad. Right? But wait a minute; is it really so terrible to give ourselves a time-out to feel our feelings? Or is it possible that wallowing is an act of loving kindness, right when we need it most? Just about everyone loves the idea of self-compassion -- the notion that maybe in spite of our messy emotions and questionable behavior, we really aren’t all that bad. In recent years there’s been an explosion of books that encourage readers to stop beating themselves up for being human, which is terrific. Unfortunately, readers who aren’t interested in Buddhism or meditation have been left out in the cold. Self-compassion is an everyday habit that everyone can learn, even if they a) aren't particularly spiritual, b) find most books about self-compassion too serious, or else c) have already overdosed on meditation. Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them is the first book to cut right to the chase, bypassing descriptions of Eastern philosophy and meditation techniques to teach readers exactly how to accept and feel their feelings with self-compassion for greater emotional health and well-being … while making them laugh from time to time. It seems that the wisdom of “keeping your friends close and your enemies closer” applies to emotions as well as people. It’s tempting to turn away from menacing, uncomfortable feelings like anger, grief or regret and treat them like unwanted guests; however, ignoring them just seems to make them stick around. They lurk in the background like punks with switchblades, waiting to pounce as soon as they see an opening. By learning to accept and embrace, rather than suppress, difficult feelings, people can keep their sense of personal power and, better yet, gain greater understanding and ultimately esteem for themselves. Feeling bad can actually lead to feeling better, faster!

Constructive Wallowing

Author: Tina Gilbertson
Publisher: Cleis Press
ISBN: 193674080X
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 282

Book Description
Presents advice for dealing with self-critical thoughts and negative emotions about the past, along with techniques for developing self-compassion and a more positive outlook.

Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child

Author: Tina Gilbertson
Publisher: New World Library
ISBN: 1608686582
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 290

Book Description
Parents whose adult children have cut off contact wonder: How did this happen? Where did I go wrong? What happened to my loving child? Over time, holidays, birthdays, and even the birth of grandchildren may pass in silence. Anguish may turn into anger. While time, in and of itself, does not necessarily heal, actions do, and while every estrangement includes situation-specific variables, there are practical, effective, and universal techniques for understanding and healing these not-uncommon breaches. Psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson has developed these techniques and tools over years of face-to-face and online work with parents, who have found her strategies transformative and even life-changing. Gilbertson cuts through the blame, shame, and guilt on both sides of the broken relationship. Parents will feel heard and understood but also challenged — and guided — to reclaim their role as"tone setter" and grow psychologically. Exercises, examples, and sample scripts empower parents who have felt powerless. Gilbertson shows that reconciliation is a step-by-step process, but the effort is well worth it. It is never too late to renew relations and experience better-than-ever bonds.

It's Not Always Depression

Author: Hilary Jacobs Hendel
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 0399588140
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 322

Book Description
Fascinating patient stories and dynamic exercises help you connect to healing emotions, ease anxiety and depression, and discover your authentic self. Sara suffered a debilitating fear of asserting herself. Spencer experienced crippling social anxiety. Bonnie was shut down, disconnected from her feelings. These patients all came to psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel seeking treatment for depression, but in fact none of them were chemically depressed. Rather, Jacobs Hendel found that they’d all experienced traumas in their youth that caused them to put up emotional defenses that masqueraded as symptoms of depression. Jacobs Hendel led these patients and others toward lives newly capable of joy and fulfillment through an empathic and effective therapeutic approach that draws on the latest science about the healing power of our emotions. Whereas conventional therapy encourages patients to talk through past events that may trigger anxiety and depression, accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy (AEDP), the method practiced by Jacobs Hendel and pioneered by Diana Fosha, PhD, teaches us to identify the defenses and inhibitory emotions (shame, guilt, and anxiety) that block core emotions (anger, sadness, fear, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement). Fully experiencing core emotions allows us to enter an openhearted state where we are calm, curious, connected, compassionate, confident, courageous, and clear. In It’s Not Always Depression, Jacobs Hendel shares a unique and pragmatic tool called the Change Triangle—a guide to carry you from a place of disconnection back to your true self. In these pages, she teaches lay readers and helping professionals alike • why all emotions—even the most painful—have value. • how to identify emotions and the defenses we put up against them. • how to get to the root of anxiety—the most common mental illness of our time. • how to have compassion for the child you were and the adult you are. Jacobs Hendel provides navigational tools, body and thought exercises, candid personal anecdotes, and profound insights gleaned from her patients’ remarkable breakthroughs. She shows us how to work the Change Triangle in our everyday lives and chart a deeply personal, powerful, and hopeful course to psychological well-being and emotional engagement.

The Curse of Lovely

Author: Jacqui Marson
Publisher: Piatkus
ISBN: 1405511451
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 141

Book Description
Many people's lives, relationships, careers and wellbeing are blighted by the belief that to be liked, loved and accepted they have to limit themselves to the behaviours they believe are approved of by others. This might mean some or all of the following: always being polite, nice, helpful, charming, fun, making people feel good about themselves, not letting people down, never saying 'no', avoiding conflict and putting others' needs before their own. Jacqui Marson in her 15 years of clinical experience as a psychologist has coined the phrase 'the curse of lovely' to describe this growing trend. Many people would like to be known as lovely, but for a growing number of people it can feel like a curse. They feel trapped, suffocated and oppressed by the weight of others' expectations and feel that change is not an option. This highly practical and motivational book will show readers how to break the cycle or curse of lovely to live a more complete, fulfilling life. Contents include: When 'lovely' turns into a curse; the lovely child - how it all begins; the lovely friend; the lovely parent; the lovely colleague; the lovely partner; from curse to gift - how we can still be lovable and get our needs met; but what do I want - how to tune in to what your body is telling you; re-evaluating anger; saying 'no' and surviving; how to instigate scary conversations; and how to replace the personal rules that put you at the bottom on the pile.

Flipping the Switch...

Author: John G. Miller
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101221259
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 146

Book Description
In his bestselling book QBQ! The Question Behind the Question, John G. Miller revealed how personal accountability helps to create opportunity, overcome obstacles, and achieve goals by eliminating blame, complaining, and procrastination. The result? Stronger organizations, more dynamic teams, and healthier relationships. Now Miller takes readers to the next level to show how they can use the power of the QBQ! and personal accountability every day. When a light switch is flipped the flow of energy that is released reaches the lightbulb in an instant, bringing it to life. Similarly, asking the right kind of question-a QBQ-is the first step to empowering what Miller calls the Advantage Principles-five essential practices that will lead to a richer experience in every aspect of life: - LEARNING: live an engaged and energized life through positive personal growth and change - OWNERSHIP: attain goals by becoming a solution-oriented person who solves problems - CREATIVITY: find new ways to achieve by succeeding "within the box" - SERVICE: build a legacy by helping others succeed - TRUST: develop deep and rewarding relationships With compelling real-life stories and keen insights, Miller demonstrates how anyone can find success and satisfaction by "flipping the switch."

The Straight Road to Kylie

Author: Nico Medina
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1442459077
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 324

Book Description
Life is fabulous for Jonathan Parish. He's seventeen, out and proud, and ready to party through senior year with his posse of best girlfriends. But the year starts off with the wrong kind of bang when Jonathan -- in an inebriated lapse of judgment -- sleeps with a friend of his...a girl friend! When word gets around that hot-but-previously-unavailable Jonathan might be on the market, the school's It girl approaches him with a proposal: pretend to be her boyfriend, and achieve popularity like he's never known. But popularity isn't what Jonathan wants. And suddenly, going back into the closet becomes Jonathan's only way to get what he's after -- a trip to see Kylie Minogue.

Mother Hunger

Author: Kelly McDaniel
Publisher: Hay House, Inc
ISBN: 1401960863
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 249

Book Description
An insatiable need for sex and love. Periods of overeating or starving. A pattern of unstable and painful relationships. Does this sound painfully familiar? Trauma counselor Kelly McDaniel has seen these traits over and over in clients who feel trapped in cycles of harmful behaviors-and are unable to stop. Many of us find ourselves stuck in unhealthy habits simply because we don't see a better way. With Mother Hunger, McDaniel helps women break the cycle of destructive behavior by taking a fresh look at childhood trauma and its lasting impact. In doing so, she destigmatizes the shame that comes with being under-mothered and misdiagnosed. McDaniel offers a healing path with powerful tools that include therapeutic interventions and lifestyle changes in service to healthy relationships. The constant search for mother love can be a lifelong emotional burden, but healing begins with knowing and naming what we are missing. McDaniel is the first clinician to identify Mother Hunger, which demystifies the search for love and provides the compass that each woman needs to end the struggle with achy, lonely emptiness, and come home to herself.

When Someone You Love is Depressed

Author: Xavier Amador
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439135258
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 276

Book Description
Many books have been written for those suffering from depression, but what if you're suffering becuase someone you love is depressed? Research shows that if you are close to a depressed person, you are at a much higher risk of developing problems yourself, including anxiety, phobias, and even a kind of contagious depression. In this authoritative and compassionate book, psychologists Laura Epstein Rosen and Cavier Francisco Amador explain the mechanisms of depression that can cause communication breakdown, increase hostility, and ultimately destroy relationships. Through compelling real-life stories and step-by-step advice, the authors teach concrete methods that you and your loved one can use to protect yourselves and your relationship from depression's impact. Drawing on their own innovative research, the give sensitive guidance about how to recognize your needs, how to provide the best kind of support, and how to encourage the depressed person to seek treatment. Whether you are the partner, parent, friend, or child of a depressed person, you'll find this book and invaluable companion in you journey back to health.

Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child

Author: Tina Gilbertson
Publisher: New World Library
ISBN: 1608686590
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 290

Book Description
Parents whose adult children have cut off contact wonder: How did this happen? Where did I go wrong? What happened to my loving child? Over time, holidays, birthdays, and even the birth of grandchildren may pass in silence. Anguish may turn into anger. While time, in and of itself, does not necessarily heal, actions do, and while every estrangement includes situation-specific variables, there are practical, effective, and universal techniques for understanding and healing these not-uncommon breaches. Psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson has developed these techniques and tools over years of face-to-face and online work with parents, who have found her strategies transformative and even life-changing. Gilbertson cuts through the blame, shame, and guilt on both sides of the broken relationship. Parents will feel heard and understood but also challenged — and guided — to reclaim their role as “tone setter” and grow psychologically. Exercises, examples, and sample scripts empower parents who have felt powerless. Gilbertson shows that reconciliation is a step-by-step process, but the effort is well worth it. It is never too late to renew relations and experience better-than-ever bonds.