Do Bats Have Bollocks?

Author: Jon Butler
Publisher: Sphere
ISBN: 0748111042
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 174

Book Description
The letters page of Old Git magazine continues to offer its readers an opportunity to ask and provide answers to the most pressing questions of our times. Questions such as: Would it help global warming if I left my fridge door open? What's the riskiest game of risk ever played? If I fell down a disused mineshaft would Lassie really run and get help, or just sit there licking his balls? Do Bats Have Bollocks? features a host of completely new and untrue questions and answers. With bags more rude jokes, shaggy dog stories and the odd entry from a new, bewildered editor who's wondering what the hell he's got himself into, this book is every bit as laugh-out-loud funny as last year's hugely successful volume Do Ants Have Arseholes?

Five Go Absolutely Nowhere

Author: Bruno Vincent
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1529412102
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 72

Book Description
'Ah! This is the dream!' says Julian one morning. 'With good old British common sense and community spirit like this, there's no reason that we couldn't exist on the island like this for the rest of our days!' What could possibly go wrong . . .? Anne has gathered Julian, Dick, George and, of course, Timmy, together for a last nostalgic jaunt in the countryside together before grown-up responsibilities take the four cousins off in different directions. It's only natural that they find their way onto Kirrin Island for a look around, as this might be the last time they're here together as a group. They are planning just to spend the night there and come home the next day, perhaps with a little exploring in the dungeon for old time's sake. But that night they hear the country has gone into lockdown. They are not allowed to leave. With their usual resourcefulness, they are determined to make the best of it, and remain cheerful and healthy. As Anne keeps saying: They're lucky, really, to have all this countryside and fresh air at their disposal!

Five Give Up the Booze

Author: Bruno Vincent
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1786482274
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 78

Book Description
Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront a new challenge: give up the booze. Give up alcohol you say? Why, of course they can! Talk about an easy challenge! Five old friends set about this simple task and find all of a sudden that: the days are longer; they get to see each other for who they really are; the empty laughter of ordinary conversation is so much harder to fake. Yes, they're saving money and losing weight, but the world itself seems to take on a slow, dreary inevitability. Soon they begin to snap at each other, and then fight - until they begin to wonder, have the Five at last found the challenge that will defeat them? The perfect gift for anyone who has woken up and promised themselves that they will never drink again. Or at least until next weekend.

Five Forget Mother's Day

Author: Bruno Vincent
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1786486873
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 75

Book Description
Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to show Aunt Fanny how much she means to them. Join Julian, George, Dick, Anne and Timmy the dog as they try to celebrate Mother's Day with Aunt Fanny. George has past form in forgetting - not least her mum's birthday and Christmas presents - so tensions are running high even for the charged normality of their mother/daughter bond. But things go from bad to worse when Fanny comes to stay, with relations strained almost to breaking point. Can the Five save the day, and will Uncle Quentin get involved?

The Secret Diary of Mario Balotelli

Author: Bruno Vincent
Publisher: Sphere
ISBN: 1405516097
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 136

Book Description
'He's a total rock 'n' roller. There's a bit of Mario in all of us - well, maybe not Gary Neville - but the rest of us most definitely.' Noel Gallagher He may be football's latest superstar, but Mario Balotelli is just as famous off the pitch for his eccentricity and extraordinary antics. From the time he let off fireworks in his bathroom to the notorious bib incident, he's rarely out of the news. But in his secret diary*, as we follow Mario through one turbulent football season and the trail of mayhem he leaves in his wake, we discover that the headlines only tell half the story. Whether he's hiding Silvio Berlusconi in his basement, patrolling the streets of Manchester as a caped crusader or trying to be the first Premiership footballer to go to the moon, the truth is stranger, and much funnier, than we could have expected. *not the actual diary of Mario Balotelli

Does Anything Eat Wasps?

Author: New Scientist
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0743299175
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 221

Book Description
How fat do you have to be to become bulletproof? Why do people have eyebrows? Why do pineapples have spines? How much does a head weigh? What affects the color of earwax? How quickly could I turn into a fossil? Have you ever thought up a question so completely off-the-wall, so seemingly ridiculous, that you couldn't even find the courage to ask it? Maybe at the sports bar you were transported by the beauty of your beer to wonder, "How long could I live on beer alone?" Or, cycling through the park, you mused, "Did nature invent any wheels?" Or looking up at the night sky, you had a moment of angst, "What would happen if the moon suddenly disappeared -- if it were vaporized or stolen by aliens?" Full of fun factlets, Does Anything Eat Wasps? is a runaway bestseller around the world. It celebrates the weird and wacky questions -- some trivial, some baffling, all unique -- and their multiple answers culled from "The Last Word," a long-running column in the internationally popular science magazine, New Scientist. Tackling the imponderables of everyday life, sparkling with humor, and bursting with delightful erudition, Does Anything Eat Wasps? is irresistibly entertaining and utterly engrossing. So, go on. Put away your lab coat and your pencil -- science is fun again.

Alphabetical Africa

Author: Walter Abish
Publisher: New Directions Publishing
ISBN: 9780811205337
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 168

Book Description
"Walter Abish has dovetailed his novel within a Procrustean scheme that has the terrifying and irrefutable logic of the alphabet. Alphabetical Africa is in the line of writers such as Raymond Roussel, Raymond Queneau, Georges Perec and Harry Mathews, who have used constrictive forms to penetrate the space on the other side of poetry." -- John Ashbery

Why Don't Penguins' Feet Freeze?

Author: New Scientist
Publisher: John Murray
ISBN: 147365131X
Category : Science
Languages : en
Pages : 175

Book Description
Why Don't Penguins' Feet Freeze? is the latest compilation of readers' answers to the questions in the 'Last Word' column of New Scientist, the world's best-selling science weekly. Following the phenomenal success of Does Anything Eat Wasps? - the Christmas 2005 surprise bestseller - this new collection includes recent answers never before published in book form, and also old favourites from the column's early days. Yet again, many seemingly simple questions turn out to have complex answers. And some that seem difficult have a very simple explanation. New Scientist's 'Last Word' is regularly voted the magazine's most popular section as it celebrates all questions - the trivial, idiosyncratic, baffling and strange. This new selection of the best is popular science at its most entertaining and enlightening.

Danger Mouse: Declassified

Author: Sir Arthur Stuyvesant Quinn-Flossy IV (Bart.)
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 0753545233
Category : Performing Arts
Languages : en
Pages : 130

Book Description
Crumbs! Danger Mouse’s most sensitive, scintillating and secret operations have been revealed for the first time in this top-secret dossier. Kept under lock and key at MI5 (or is it MI6? One of the Mouse Intelligence agencies, anyway...) for over 35 years, finally discover how DM saves London, the world and, most importantly, Penfold in fantastically absurd adventures. Be shocked and surprised, amazed and astounded by stories including the audacious theft of a chunk of ozone; the planned sabotage of the Royal wedding; and a sinister attempt by Jeremy Beagle to take over the airwaves. Cor blimey!

Five Go On A Strategy Away Day

Author: Bruno Vincent
Publisher: Quercus
ISBN: 1786482258
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 80

Book Description
Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront a new challenge: what exactly is this puzzling scrape referred to as a 'strategy away day'? The Five have gone on their greatest adventure yet - to become an even better team! They are booked into an exciting hotel right next to the jolly motorway services, where the nice (if somewhat nervous and sweating and depressed) man teaches them a number of exercises that will make them work better. But wait! Who's been sneaking messages through the hotel dumb waiter about secret assignations? Is there a smuggler's plot afoot? Or is Shelly from Production shagging Postroom Luke? All will be revealed . . . Ideal for those who are allergic to corporate jargon and will throw a sickie before having to play a trust game with colleagues.