Sorry I Humped Your Leg

Author: Jeremy Greenberg
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449487424
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 64

Book Description
The bestselling author who brought you Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe and Sorry I Slept on Your Face presents a new collection of hilarious letters from over-enthusiastic, manners-challenged dogs paired with painfully cute photographs. Gronk apologizes for his passion, but he honestly thought humping your leg would bring you closer. Ladybug just wants to help you with your nature photography, so she selflessly alerts you to any nearby skunks. Truman was just trying to help you save face when he licked the carving board at Thanksgiving—the embarrassment of a leaky turkey would surely bring you nothing but shame for years. He does taste the tarragon. Sorry I Humped Your Leg contains letters from well-meaning pooches who go above and beyond for you. From escaping every enclosure you can dream up in order to spend more time together to helpfully licking the toilet bowl clean, these pups aim to please.

Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe

Author: Jeremy Greenberg
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449407897
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 69

Book Description
A light and lively companion to Sorry I Peed on You, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is a hilarious collection of full-color photos and letters of apologies and suggestions from dogs to the people who love themâ€”no matter what bad thing theyâ€™ve done! Inside Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe, writer and comedian Jeremy Greenberg presents a collection of 50 laugh-out-loud letters and accompanying full-color photographs that explain Fido's love of funky smells, why a ball needs to be thrown again, and practically every other lovably loony canine characteristic. From an impassioned plea to stop the silly nicknames, to an attempt to skip a bath, to explanations for stolen shoes and swiped sandwiches, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe offers a pooch's perspective on common canine vs. human cohabitation conundrums. Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is the perfect gift for dog lovers and anyone who appreciates hilarious (and so true!) insights into dog--and human--nature.

Jinn and Juice

Author: Nicole Peeler
Publisher: Hachette+ORM
ISBN: 0316407348
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 330

Book Description
In this rowdy and raunchy urban fantasy, Lyla escaped an arranged marriage by accepting a deal from a jinni -- to live a thousand years as a jinni herself. Now, with her millennia nearly up, she's hiding out in a seedy Pittsburgh swarming with vampires, jinni and magical beings. Meet Lyla, a thousand-year-old Jinn, a belly dancer, and the hottest new urban fantasy heroine in town. With her thousand-year-long servitude ending, Lyla faces a few serious obstacles to freedom. A Magi intent on binding her again, a jinni bent on vengeance, and not to mention the nightmare from her past that threatens to make her curse permanent -- and claim her very soul. "Jinn and Juice is a raucous, raunchy tale well told. One thing's certain: you'll never look at Pittsburgh the same way after you've taken Nicole Peeler's mythic joyride up, down, and sideways in pursuit of an abducted teenage girl and freedom from a thousand-year curse. Legend and history, betrayal and love intertwine as the story moves from lascivious sex clubs to the unraveling of a mystery to a magical jinni throw-down which will leave you panting for more. Jinn and Juice is Urban Fantasy at its smartest, naughtiest, funniest best." -- Juliet Blackwell

Sorry I Slept on Your Face

Author: Jeremy Greenberg
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449484433
Category : Pets
Languages : en
Pages : 65

Book Description
What does it mean when your cat bites your toes as hard as she can? When she suffocates you with her body, is she just getting comfortable or is she trying to tell you she needs more space? In Sorry I Slept on Your Face, cats, in all their superiority, break up with their owners through sorry/not sorry letters illustrated with cute, funny, sweet photographs. This book will make you laugh and make you ponder your relationship with your own cat.

Happy Hour in Hell

Author: Tad Williams
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 144473864X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 542

Book Description
Bobby Dollar has a problem or four of epic proportions. Problem one: his best friend Sam has given him an angel's feather that also happens to be evidence of an unholy pact between Bobby's employers and those who dwell in the infernal depths. Problem two: Eligor, Grand Duke of Hell, wants to get his claws on the feather at all costs, but particularly at all cost to Bobby . Problem three: Bobby has fallen in love with Casimira, Countess of Cold Hands, who just happens to be Eligor's girlfriend. Problem four: Eligor, aware of Problem three, has whisked Casimira off to the Bottomless Pit itself, telling Bobby he will never see her again unless he hands over the feather. But Bobby, long-time veteran of the endless war between above and below, is not the type of guy who finds Hell intimidating. All he has to do is toss on a demon's body, sneak through the infernal gates, solve the mystery of the angel's feather, and rescue the girl. Saving the day should just be a matter of an eon or two of anguish, mutilation and horror. If only it were that easy.

Freak the Mighty

Author: Rodman Philbrick
Publisher: Usborne Publishing Ltd
ISBN: 1409591050
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 140

Book Description
Max is used to being called Stupid. And he is used to everyone being scared of him. On account of his size and looking like his dad. Kevin is used to being called Dwarf. And he is used to everyone laughing at him. On account of his size and being some cripple kid. But greatness comes in all sizes, and together Max and Kevin become Freak The Mighty and walk high above the world. An inspiring, heartbreaking, multi-award winning international bestseller.

Beautiful Disaster Signed Limited Edition

Author: Jamie McGuire
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476719071
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 416

Book Description
Abby Abernathy is re-inventing herself as the good girl as she begins her freshman year at college, which is why she must resist lean, cut, and tattooed Travis Maddox, a classic bad boy.

Chalktown

Author: Melinda Haynes
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0743442504
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 372

Book Description
On the heels of her Oprah-selected debut blockbuster "Mother of Pearl, " Melinda Haynes returns with a lush and deeply affecting story of redemption and renewal set in 1960s Mississippi.

The Other End of the Leash

Author: Patricia McConnell, Ph.D.
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0307489183
Category : Pets
Languages : en
Pages : 289

Book Description
Learn to communicate with your dog—using their language “Good reading for dog lovers and an immensely useful manual for dog owners.”—The Washington Post An Applied Animal Behaviorist and dog trainer with more than twenty years’ experience, Dr. Patricia McConnell reveals a revolutionary new perspective on our relationship with dogs—sharing insights on how “man’s best friend” might interpret our behavior, as well as essential advice on how to interact with our four-legged friends in ways that bring out the best in them. After all, humans and dogs are two entirely different species, each shaped by its individual evolutionary heritage. Quite simply, humans are primates and dogs are canids (as are wolves, coyotes, and foxes). Since we each speak a different native tongue, a lot gets lost in the translation. This marvelous guide demonstrates how even the slightest changes in our voices and in the ways we stand can help dogs understand what we want. Inside you will discover: • How you can get your dog to come when called by acting less like a primate and more like a dog • Why the advice to “get dominance” over your dog can cause problems • Why “rough and tumble primate play” can lead to trouble—and how to play with your dog in ways that are fun and keep him out of mischief • How dogs and humans share personality types—and why most dogs want to live with benevolent leaders rather than “alpha wanna-bes!” Fascinating, insightful, and compelling, The Other End of the Leash is a book that strives to help you connect with your dog in a completely new way—so as to enrich that most rewarding of relationships.

Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed Again

Author: Jeremy Greenberg
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 152485896X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 72

Book Description
Tess wants you to know that she intends to continue throwing up freely as long as the new baby gets to—fair is fair. Ovid would like to inform you that he’s giving up one of his nine lives in order to avoid a visit to the vet—he’ll miss you and knows you understand. And Quinn assures you that she’ll protect you from whatever it is that’s rolled under the table with all the righteous fury in her little body—even if only turns out to be a dropped olive. Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed Again is full of funny letters and heartwarming photos—a perfect gift for cat lovers.