How to Fart - Louder, Longer, and Stronger... Without Soiling Your Undies!

How to Fart - Louder, Longer, and Stronger... Without Soiling Your Undies! PDF Author: R Sole Ph D
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781493720910
Category : Flatulence
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
There are many books on the market giving solutions on how to stop farting. But what is there for people who want to fart more? To fart louder? To fart longer? To fart stronger...both pressure wise, and smell wise? Those that want to become champions at passing wind? Those that want to exercise their right to free speech, and exercise their sphincters at the same time? Those who say to hell with the clean air bill? And to those who want to fart responsibly, and not leave skid marks. And to those that just want to have fun! Well, to all those people, this book is written for you! In this concise, no fluff (well, actually full of fluff and hot air) report you'll learn to do exactly what the book title says... Fart louder, longer and stronger. In this short read you'll learn to build up the fart pressure with scientific food combining, and how to release it at will with advanced bowel control. Impress your friends, relatives, and partners. You'll be the talk of the town. Learn to create copious amounts of wind, and how to utilize it for best effect. You'll learn how to generate the gas, how to control and propel it, and how to make it smell beastly! From meek and mild through too big, bold and offensive...in fact deadly! Use these skills to clear a long bank queue, get a seat on a crowded train or bus, get extra leg room on a long flight, in fact the possibilities are endless. Go into stealth mode and watch people give each other the hairy eye ball as they try to figure out who dropped the clanger. Movie theaters, restaurants, amusement rides...nothing is safe...nothing is out of bounds. Get creative! Use your new found super powers to go above and beyond what others thought possible. Use shock and awe tactics. Singe peoples nose hairs. Create havoc. Have them gagging, and gasping for air. But with these new found powers comes great responsibility. Use them for good. Clear a bus to make a seat for a little old lady...and let someone else take the blame! (Insert evil chuckle here). Everything and anything is possible in this new paradigm of achievement that you will find your life propelled into. Blast yourself into success. Rise to heights and levels previously unimaginable. The world truly is your oyster, or perhaps I should say pickled egg. Forget about dropping your lunch, that will all be behind you...think about dropping a whole shopping trolley of cheese, tasty! Based on real science and food chemistry, this book is very much a practical guide, without getting bogged down too deeply into technical crap. Prac, not crap. There are enough scientific facts to keep the more technically minded satisfied. Onward and upward, go boldly forward into a hole (pun intended) new level of achievement, recognition, and farting pleasure. You will now be a famed Fartiste, and the envy of your colleagues, friends, and work mates. Walk tall, with your nose held high. You will exude a presence that commands attention. At last, gain the respect you deserve. OK, that's enough reading this blurb. Stop dreaming, and get into action and start reaping the rewards of fame and respect. Click the buy now button now, and let the fun begin!

How To Talk To Your Dog About Sex

How To Talk To Your Dog About Sex PDF Author: Frank Larkin
Publisher: Heat and Stir Publishing
ISBN: 0999683543
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 156

Book Description
Do you have a dog? Have you had sex? Then please, for the love of dog, check your best friend for signs of DOOFUS (Dogs Oversensitive to Owners Fu*king Unabashedly Syndrome). Does Buddy look at you in that “I could use another treat” way? Does Princess only sit reluctantly, on the third or fourth command? Does Bailey still chase his tail before crapping? If you answered yes, no, sometimes or “what the fu*k business is it of yours?” to any of these critical criteria, then I hate to break it to you, but your beloved dog has DOOFUS, a debilitating, godawful syndrome and it’s all because you had sex within eye or earshot of your best friend. Thank god there’s a top-secret cure. Heat & Stir, that same couple who brought you Total Mindfu*k, a Fast and Filthy Guide to Sexual Roleplaying,now delivers a patented process tailored to relieve your cherished best friend from the ravages of DOOFUS. Combining proven animal behavioral science, bleeding edge dog psychology and that scintillating, top-secret cure, Heat & Stir will teach you to inoculate your stricken dogs from further suffering. It’s complicated and sciencey, and probably makes no fu*king sense whatsoever, but like all Heat & Stir creations, it’s passionate, funny, fast-paced and sexually-supercharged.

How to Fart at Work

How to Fart at Work PDF Author: Mats & Enzo
Publisher: Carlton Books
ISBN: 9781787393059
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
From the toilet etiquette experts who brought you the global game-changer How to Poo at Work comes an equally essential guide on dealing with flatulence Anyone who has ever worked in an office, or indeed any other enclosed space, has confronted the gut-wrenching problem: to fart or not to fart? Mats & Enzo have spent years studying this fragrant issue--sometimes armed only with a single gas mask for protection. With informative illustrations to elucidate their findings, How to Fart at Work is the practical guide to solving every gaseous situation you might encounter. Whether you smelled it or dealt it, this expert advice will help you smooth your way through these malodorous moments . . . and even teach you how flatulence can further your career

Can Holding in a Fart Kill You?

Can Holding in a Fart Kill You? PDF Author: Andrew Thompson
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1612435076
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 99

Book Description
The bestselling author of Hair of the Dog to Paint the Town Red share more than 150 baffling, bizarre, and enlightening facts in the fun trivia collection. This curious, captivating collection of trivia will surprise and intrigue readers with amazing answers to questions like: • Is Jurassic Park possible? • What causes “the shakes” after drinking a lot of alcohol? • Why do dogs walk in circles before lying down? • What makes popcorn pop? The follow-up to the bestselling What Did We Use Before Toilet Paper?, Can Holding in a Fart Kill You? has even more fun and fascinating trivia. Perfect for the ever-curious trivia lover, this book is the ultimate in truly extraordinary information. From silly to serious to outright bizarre, this expansive collection offers surprising answers and unexpected facts on everything from history and science to pop culture and nature. From the everyday to the fantastical—it's all here. “A very handy book that could honestly, save their life—or just answer all those questions they’re maybe too embarrassed to even google.” —Buzzfeed

Never Trust a Fart

Never Trust a Fart PDF Author: Jason Herbert
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781687224095
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 86

Book Description
Like a hard hitting investigative reporter, I asked the tough questions and got down to the truth! Grown men throughout the world regularly poop their pants. Here are their stories.

The Fantastic Flatulent Fart Brothers' Second Big Book of Farty Facts

The Fantastic Flatulent Fart Brothers' Second Big Book of Farty Facts PDF Author: M.D. Whalen
Publisher:
ISBN: 9789627866404
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 142

Book Description
Did you know that plants fart? Kids go to jail for farting? That there's a movie award for Best Fart? Do you secretly think farts are not only funny, but fascinating? Increase your Fart IQ and impress your friends and teachers with this gas-powered, illustrated fact-filled follow-up to the best-selling original Big Book of Farty Facts.

Fartiste

Fartiste PDF Author: Kathleen Krull
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers
ISBN: 9781416928287
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Across the world there are many an artiste - But none so outrageous as Joe, the Fartiste. The Fartiste doesn't sing, he doesn't dance, and he doesn't act. But that doesn't stop him from taking the stage at Paris's famed Moulin Rouge, where he performs his much-loved act for celebrities and royalty with the funniest talent of all - Joe is the man who has perfected the art of the fart. Kathleen Krull and Paul Brewer bring new wind to their mostly true story about "the man who made his pants dance," which is perfectly matched with Boris Kulikov's explosive art.

The Big Book of Farts

The Big Book of Farts PDF Author: James Carlisle
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781684182015
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 102

Book Description
This wonderfully quirky, laugh out loud book is the PERFECT GIFT for FART lovers of all ages.

The Little Book of Farts

The Little Book of Farts PDF Author: Summersdale
Publisher: Summersdale
ISBN: 9781786855664
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
If you thought there was only one type of fart, get ready to be blown away! Like a beautiful snowflake, every fart is unique. From the ever-so-dainty Pipsqueak to the mighty window-frame-rattling Thunderclap, there's a whole world of bottom-burps to savor in this informative and revealing dictionary, along with a plethora of butt-trumpet facts. Ranging from how to fart and get away with it to the worst places to fart, you'll realize you didn't know the first thing about flatulence!

Sorry I Ruined Your Childhood

Sorry I Ruined Your Childhood PDF Author: Ben Zaehringer
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1524858676
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 144

Book Description
A subversive, hilarious, dark-but-uplifting collection of comics skewering the commercial figures, Disney stories, and pop cultural touchstones that Millennials and Gen X-ers grew up with in the '80s and '90s. Ben Zaehringer's versatile art styles and wicked curveballs are sharp, clever and accessible, prompting many readers to comment that the author is "ruining their childhood" in the most delightful way possible.
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