When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends

Author: Victoria Secunda
Publisher: Delta
ISBN: 0307431304
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 428

Book Description
“A book of great value for every daughter and every mother; useful for sons, too.”—Benjamin Spock, M.D. From the Introduction: The goal of this book is to help readers achieve that separation so that they can either find a way to be friends with their mothers, or at least recognize and accept that their mothers did the best they could—even if it wasn't “good enough”—and to stop blaming them. Among the issues to be covered: • To understand how a daughter's attachment to her mother—more so than her relationship with her father—colors all her other relationships, and to analyze why it is more difficult for daughters than sons to separate from their mothers, as well as why daughters are more subject than sons to a mother's manipulation • To recognize the difference between a healthy and a destructive mother-daughter connection, and to define clearly the “bad mommy,” in order to help readers who have trouble acknowledging their childhood losses to begin to comprehend them • To conjugate what I call the “Bad Mommy Taboo”—why our culture is more eager to protect the sanctity of maternity than it is to protect emotionally abused daughters • To describe the evolution of the "unpleasable" mother—in all likelihood, she was bereft of maternal love as a child—and to recognize the huge, and often poignant, stake she has in keeping her grown daughter dependent and off-balance • To illustrate the consequent controlling behavior—in some cases, cloaked in fragility or good intentions—of such mothers, which falls into general patterns, including: the Doormat, the Critic, the Smotherer, the Avenger, the Deserter • To understand that the daughter has a similar stake in either being a slave to or hating her mother—the two sides of her depen dency and immaturity • To illustrate the responsive behavior—and survival mechanisms —of daughters, which is determined in part by such variables as birth rank, family history, and temperament, and which also falls into patterns, including: the Angel, the Superachiever, the Cipher, the Troublemaker, the Defector • To show how to redefine the mother-daughter relationship, so that each can learn to see and accept the other as she is today, appreciating each other's good qualities and not being snared by the bad • Finally, to demonstrate that a redefined relationship with one's mother—adult to adult—frees you from the past, whether that re definition ultimately results in real friendship, affectionate truce, or divorce.

Grown and Flown

Author: Lisa Heffernan
Publisher: Flatiron Books
ISBN: 1250188954
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 352

Book Description
PARENTING NEVER ENDS. From the founders of the #1 site for parents of teens and young adults comes an essential guide for building strong relationships with your teens and preparing them to successfully launch into adulthood The high school and college years: an extended roller coaster of academics, friends, first loves, first break-ups, driver’s ed, jobs, and everything in between. Kids are constantly changing and how we parent them must change, too. But how do we stay close as a family as our lives move apart? Enter the co-founders of Grown and Flown, Lisa Heffernan and Mary Dell Harrington. In the midst of guiding their own kids through this transition, they launched what has become the largest website and online community for parents of fifteen to twenty-five year olds. Now they’ve compiled new takeaways and fresh insights from all that they’ve learned into this handy, must-have guide. Grown and Flown is a one-stop resource for parenting teenagers, leading up to—and through—high school and those first years of independence. It covers everything from the monumental (how to let your kids go) to the mundane (how to shop for a dorm room). Organized by topic—such as academics, anxiety and mental health, college life—it features a combination of stories, advice from professionals, and practical sidebars. Consider this your parenting lifeline: an easy-to-use manual that offers support and perspective. Grown and Flown is required reading for anyone looking to raise an adult with whom you have an enduring, profound connection.

When Your Mother Doesn't

Author: Jill Kelly
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.
ISBN: 1634500016
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 343

Book Description
A Revealing and Intimate Story of What a Mother Will—and Will Not—Do for Her Daughters What kind of women do daughters become when their fathers are missing and their mothers can’t love them? How do they find love and ways to love themselves? Nearly three decades of secrets lie between Lola Ashby and the two girls she reluctantly raised. Now, prompted by the one father figure she respects, older daughter Frankie agrees to drive from Portland to visit her ailing mother, who abandoned the girls when they were in high school. When younger daughter Callie announces to Frankie that she’s moving her fashion model career to Los Angeles from the East Coast, Frankie badgers her sister into meeting up in the Idaho panhandle for a family reunion to dilute the impact of their mother’s indifference. However, on Frankie’s first night on the road, the trip gets more complicated when a well-dressed elderly woman at a rest stop dumps a young boy in her lap with a request to take him on to Montana. And Callie’s exit from Pittsburgh is fraught with its own shady and violent difficulties. Meanwhile, Lola strengthens her resolve to keep the past and its secrets where they belong. Skyhorse Publishing, as well as our Arcade, Yucca, and Good Books imprints, are proud to publish a broad range of books for readers interested in fiction—novels, novellas, political and medical thrillers, comedy, satire, historical fiction, romance, erotic and love stories, mystery, classic literature, folklore and mythology, literary classics including Shakespeare, Dumas, Wilde, Cather, and much more. While not every title we publish becomes a New York Times bestseller or a national bestseller, we are committed to books on subjects that are sometimes overlooked and to authors whose work might not otherwise find a home.

Not Your Mother's Rules

Author: Ellen Fein
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 1455512575
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 172

Book Description
The authors behind the ubiquitous dating bible that launched a worldwide movement are back, accompanied by their daughters, with brand new advice updated for the modern era. How long should I wait to respond to his text message? Can I friend him on Facebook? Why did he ask for my number but never call me? When The Rules was published in 1995, its message was straightforward: be mysterious. But for women looking for love today, it's not quite so simple. In a world of instant messaging, location check-ins, and status updates, where hook-ups have become the norm and formal one-on-one dates seem a thing of the past, it's difficult to retain the air of mystery that keeps men interested. Now, with help from their daughters, the original Rules Girls Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider share their thoroughly modern, fresh take on dating that will help women in today's information age create the happy love lives they want and deserve. Whether you're a 20-something dating for the first time, a 30-something tired of being single, a 40-something giving advice to your daughter, or a 50-something getting back in the dating game, this book has the answers you've been waiting for. The Rules include: Stay Away from his Facebook Profile Make Yourself Invisible and Other Ways to Get Out of Instant Messaging Stop Dating a Guy Who Cancels More than Once Text-Back Times Chart Don't Just Hang Out or See Him 24/7 TTYL: Always End Everything First-- Get Out of There! And much, much more! Providing the dos and don'ts you need to stop making mistakes and start finding romance, Not Your Mother's Rules will revolutionize dating today just as The Rules did nearly 20 years ago!

How To Manage Your Mother

Author: Alyce-Faye Cleese
Publisher: eBook Partnership
ISBN: 1911072145
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 259

Book Description
This book explores how different people have dealt with the issues related to getting on with their mothers. Psychotherapist Alyce-Faye Cleese interviewed a wide range of people to get an in-depth understanding of the different questions that arise in our relationships with our mother. From a New York taxi driver to her former husband John Cleese, and a computer consultant to General Colin Powell, the interviews show a remarkable similarity between the problems different people have with their mothers both alive and dead, and Alyce-Faye Cleese suggests a range of ways of dealing with problems that many of us share in one way or another.

How Can I Be Your Lover When I'm Too Busy Being Your Mother?

Author: Sara Dimerman
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451673809
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 308

Book Description
Do you feel like your partner has become your child? Do you find yourself being his maid, his cook, his manager? Have romance, respect, fun—and sex—been drained out of your relationship? In How Can I Be Your Lover When I’m Too Busy Being Your Mother? Sara Dimerman and J.M. Kearns lay bare an essential problem: the woman who finds she’s turned into a mother to her man instead of the equal and intimate partner she once was. She has a day job just like he does, yet at home she finds herself doing most of the housework, running the home, and being in charge of the child-rearing, which makes her his boss in the one place they spend most of their time together. This leaves her feeling angry and resentful—hardly conducive to being lovers. Dimerman and Kearns boldly confront the issues, allowing both sexes to vent in a no-holds-barred exchange that ranges from hostile to hilarious. They deconstruct the problem using real-life examples and lay out a step-by-step path that will enable any couple to get back to being equal partners again.

Will I Ever be Good Enough?

Author: Karyl McBride
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416551328
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 275

Book Description
The first book specifically for daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers,Will I Ever Be Good Enough?provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life for yourself. Drawing on over two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women's psychology and health, psychotherapist Dr. Karyl McBride helpsyou recognize the widespread effects of this maternal emotional abuse and guides you as you create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery.An estimated 1.5 million American women have narcissistic personality disorder, which makes them so insecure and overbearing, insensitive and domineering that they can psychologically damage their daughters for life. Daughters of narcissistic mothers learn that maternal love is not unconditional, and that it is given only when they behave in accordance with their mothers' often unreasonable expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters consequently have difficulty overcoming their insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, sadness, and emotional emptiness. They may also have a terrible fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy love relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism, or to self-sabotage and frustration.Herself the recovering daughter of a narcissistic mother, Dr. McBride includes her personal struggle, which adds a profound level of authority to her work, along with the perspectives of the hundreds of suffering daughters she's interviewed over the years. Their stories of how maternal abuse has manifested in their lives -- as well as how they have successfully overcome its effects -- show you that you're not alone and that you can take back your life and have the controlyouwant.Dr. McBride's step-by-step program will enable you to:(1) Recognize your own experience with maternal narcissism and its effects on all aspects of your life (2) Discover how you have internalized verbal and nonverbal messages from your mother and how these have translated into a strong desire to overachieve or a tendency to self-sabotage (3) Construct a step-by-step program to reclaim your life and enhance your sense of self, a process that includes creating a psychological separation from your mother and breaking the legacy of abuse. You will also learn how not to repeat your mother's mistakes with your own daughter.Warm and sympathetic, filled with the examples of women who have established healthy boundaries with their hurtful mothers,Will I Ever Be Good Enough?encourages and inspires you as it aids your recovery.

I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!

Author: Roni Cohen-Sandler
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101076984
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 289

Book Description
For mothers who are reeling from the rockiness of an ever-changing adolescent, or struggling with a relationship that's deteriorating by the day, here is encouragement, reassurance, and great advice. "I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!" discusses the social, emotional, cultural, and psychological issues that can lead to mother-daughter conflicts. It offers illuminating and very recognizable case studies, and demonstrates how mother-daughter friction during adolescence can actually empower girls by teaching them invaluable skills. By providing mothers with much-needed encouragement and practical strategies to help their daughters grow into emotionally healthy and capable adults, "I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!" can transform the tempestuous teenage years into years of positive, enriching growth.

My Mother, My Friend

Author: Mary Marcdante
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0743215974
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 212

Book Description
Every woman has things that she wants to talk about with her mother -- but can't. Big questions about health, aging and money, and even more personal issues about family secrets and Mom's relationship with Dad have made for extremely difficult conversations -- until now. In My Mother, My Friend, communications expert and beloved national speaker Mary Marcdante demonstrates simple strategies and time-tested techniques for breaking down the barriers. She shows step by step how to build a more loving and authentic relationship with your mother by looking at such issues as: Health and Sexuality Money Resolving Conflict Family Secrets Spirituality ...And more Drawing from her nationwide workshops as well as from personal experience, Mary Marcdante shows us that these conversations not only matter, but can also be deeply enriching.

The Mother-Daughter Book Club

Author: Heather Vogel Frederick
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439107327
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 288

Book Description
Acclaimed author Heather Vogel Frederick will delight daughters of all ages in a novel about the fabulousness of fiction, family, and friendship. The book club is about to get a makeover.... Even if Megan would rather be at the mall, Cassidy is late for hockey practice, Emma's already read every book in existence, and Jess is missing her mother too much to care, the new book club is scheduled to meet every month. But what begins as a mom-imposed ritual of reading Little Women soon helps four unlikely friends navigate the drama of middle school. From stolen journals, to secret crushes, to a fashion-fiasco first dance, the girls are up to their Wellie boots in drama. They can't help but wonder: What would Jo March do?