The Best Ever Book of Everton Jokes

Author: Mark Geoffrey Young
Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub
ISBN: 9781478331759
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 106

Book Description
If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex GirlNewfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Everton jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Everton Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Everton Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Everton joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Everton Fan jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Everton Fans wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured an Everton Fan and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Everton Fan brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Everton Fan who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Everton Fans laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it.

The Best Everton Football Jokes Ever

Author: J. Gunn
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781300492740
Category : Sports & Recreation
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
The Best Everton Football Jokes Ever. In this book we take a light hearted look at football, the referee and of course our rivals. We have scoured the country for some of the best and funniest jokes, most jokes were thought up on terraces or in the pub after a game and a few beers. This book covers some of the best jokes, no joke has been kept out of this book for being politically incorrect or too rude. Get ready to share a laugh at our rivals expense

The Best Everton Football Chants Ever

Author: A Fan
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 0557190002
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 57

Book Description

Everton Fans - Chelsea Jokes - Make Fun of a Chelsea Fan Today

Author: E. Locken
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780557341672
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 58

Book Description
Everton Fans. Are you tired of listening to Chelsea fans? This book written by Everton fans, includes the best Chelsea jokes ever. Have a laugh at a Chelsea fans expense today.

The Best Liverpool Football Jokes Ever

Author: J. Gunn
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781300492658
Category : Sports & Recreation
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
The Best Liverpool Football Jokes Ever - includes some of the funniest jokes about our rivals including Man Utd, Everton, Arsenal and Chelsea among others. Give you mates who don't support Liverpool some stick We love Liverpool

The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Everton Fans

Author: Mark Young
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781481915717
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 106

Book Description
If you're looking to gain respect from your employees, increase your income and get more out of your friends, for you, The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Everton Fans is the book you're looking for. While The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Everton Fans appears to be parody of motivational books, many employers have used this book to get their employees to work harder and increase their standing in the community. Rather than showing you ways to motivate your employees so they'll want to work harder, this book show you how to use fear and intimidation to MAKE them work harder, and ensure that your friends give you the respect you think you deserve. Some of the ways you can use demotivation to get what you want include: *** Every Everton Fan knows that meetings are a complete waste of time. Make yourself more efficient by turning up at every meeting fifteen minutes late, leaving early, and popping in and out while it's in progress. *** Maintain the distance between yourself, the Everton Fan, and your friends by never smiling or saying hello to anybody. While this may appear rude, it's better than having to deal with their problems. *** Nobody gets a better deal at restaurants than Everton Fans. Before dividing up the bill, calculate your share and work out if it's cheaper to split the bill evenly, or for everybody to pay their own share. Do this every time to save the maximum amount possible. *** Install phones in every bathroom stall and above the urinals so your employees can continue working while they do their business. ***

The World's Funniest Football Jokes

Author: Jim Chumley
Publisher: Summersdale
ISBN: 1786854686
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 150

Book Description
Football is obviously very serious business – like when that disallowed goal was 'never off-side', and that was 'totally a dive' – but it’s a funny old game really. This compendium of hilarious jokes will help you see the lighter side when your team is showing you up, and give your mates a good chuckle at the celebrations when they win.

The Funniest Football Joke Book Ever!

Author: Joe King
Publisher: Andersen Press Limited
ISBN: 1787612791
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 49

Book Description
What did the ref say to the chicken who tripped a defender? Fowl Why was the footballer upset on his birthday? He got a red card These and many more howlers to make you laugh even if we lose the Cup!!!

Behind Closed Doors

Author: Gary Lineker
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1473572770
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 368

Book Description
***Includes a new foreword by Gary Lineker about football in lockdown*** Shortlisted for The Telegraph Sports Book Awards 'Lineker is nearly as good a presenter as I was a footballer' DIEGO MARADONA 'Hilarious, almost as funny as me' ALAN SHEARER 'This is Lineker unleashed. As a non-football nut I didn't expect to enjoy it, but between laddish anecdotes are passages of sudden tenderness. . . Lineker opens up, dislodging memories and reflections, not just about football but his whole life.' THE TIMES _______________________________________________________________ 'Football is a simple game. 22 players chase a ball for 90 minutes, and at the end the Germans always win.' This book is inspired by the stories Danny and I have shared with each other about what life in football is really like: in the dressing room, in the commentary box, on the pitch and - with the appropriate pixellation - in the showers afterwards. What's it really like to play with Messi? I wouldn't know, but I have starred alongside him in an advert for Walkers crisps. And, well, his performance was world-class. And what is a life in football really like? You won't learn much from the dull-as-dishwater post-match interviews - it's a world of secrets, superstitions, laughs and personalities, and let me tell you, half of it you won't believe. I've looked back at my playing days, from England to Leicester, Everton to Barcelona, Tottenham to, er, Nagoya Grampus Eight, and shared the chaotic behind-the-scenes secrets of Match of the Day - and Danny has chipped in with stories from a lifetime following the game as a fan. From Italia '90 to Leicester's Premier League fairytale, from yellow cards to World Cup trophies (I've never been awarded either), from Gascoigne to Maradona, you'll find it all here - everything you always wanted to know about football, but didn't realise that you did. Inspired by the No.1 podcast Behind Closed Doors

The Funniest Cincinnati Bengals Joke Book Ever

Author: Fred Dickinson
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781300537632
Category : Sports & Recreation
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
The Funniest Cincinnati Bengals Joke Book Ever. In this book we take a light hearted look at football and our rivals. Jokes about the Ravens, Browns, Steelers and many more. We have scoured the country for some of the best and funniest jokes, most jokes were thought up in the Paul Brown Stadium or by Bengals fans in the bars after a game and a few beers. This book covers some of the best jokes, no joke has been kept out of this book for being politically incorrect or too rude. Get ready to have a laugh at our rivals expense. We love the Bengals