When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us

Author: Jane Adams
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439106827
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 232

Book Description
How do today's parents cope when the dreams we had for our children clash with reality? What can we do for our twenty- and even thirty-somethings who can't seem to grow up? How can we help our depressed, dependent, or addicted adult children, the ones who can't get their lives started, who are just marking time or even doing it? What's the right strategy when our smart, capable "adultolescents" won't leave home or come boomeranging back? Who can we turn to when the kids aren't all right and we, their parents, are frightened, frustrated, resentful, embarrassed, and especially, disappointed? In this groundbreaking book, a social psychologist who's been chronicling the lives of American families for over two decades confronts our deepest concerns, including our silence and self-imposed sense of isolation, when our grown kids have failed to thrive. She listens to a generation that "did everything right" and expected its children to grow into happy, healthy, successful adults. But they haven't, at least, not yet -- and meanwhile, we're letting their problems threaten our health, marriages, security, freedom, careers or retirement, and other family relationships. With warmth, empathy, and perspective, Dr. Adams offers a positive, life-affirming message to parents who are still trying to "fix" their adult children -- Stop! She shows us how to separate from their problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own. As we navigate this critical passage in our second adulthood and their first, the bestselling author of I'm Still Your Mother reminds us that the pleasures and possibilities of postparenthood should not depend on how our kids turn out, but on how we do!

I'm Still Your Mother

Author: Jane Adams
Publisher: Delta
ISBN: 9780385306959
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 240

Book Description
A witty, warm and supportive book for forty-, fifty- and sixty-something parents who want to maintain close and loving relationships with their grown-up children. Adams offers creative, positive steps parents can take to affirm family bonds and guide their children toward building fulfilling adult lives.

When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart

Author: Joel Young
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN: 1493003968
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 267

Book Description
Behind nearly every adult who is accused of a crime, becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, or who is severely mentally ill and acting out in public, there is usually at least one extremely stressed-out parent. This parent may initially react with the bad news of their adult child behaving badly with, "Oh no!" followed by, "How can I help to fix this?" A very common third reaction is the thought, "Where did I go wrong--was it something I said or did, or that I failed to do when my child was growing up that caused these issues? Is this really somehow all my fault?" These parents then open their homes, their pocketbooks, their hearts, and their futures to "saving" their adult child--who may go on to leave them financially and emotionally broken. Sometimes these families also raise the children their adult children leave behind: 1.6 million grandparents in the U.S. are in this situation. This helpful book presents families with quotations and scenarios from real suffering parents (who are not identified), practical advice, and tested strategies for coping. It also discusses the fact that parents of adult children may themselves need therapy and medications, especially antidepressants. The book is written in a clear, reassuring manner by Dr. Joel L. Young, medical director of the Rochester Center for Behavioral Medicine in Rochester Hills, Michigan; with noted medical writer Christine Adamec, author of many books in the field. In the wake of the Newtown shooting and the viral popularity of the post "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother," America is now taking a fresh look, not only at gun control, but also on how we treat mental illness. Another major issue is our support or stigmatization of those with adult children who are a major risk to their families as well to society itself. This book is part of that conversation.

Now That They Are Grown

Author: Ronald J. Greer
Publisher: Abingdon Press
ISBN: 142675468X
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 149

Book Description
We don’t stop being parents when our kids are grown...but some things do change. Life is filled with change. As our sons and daughters move into young adulthood, our role of what it means to be loving parents changes dramatically. This book aims to help readers miss as many potholes as possible in making the transition from parenting children to being parents of young adults. Here are ways to nurture our adult children while encouraging their independence and maturity. Learn to have balance. Here is how to respond to them in times of struggle. Readers will see how to be supportive, yet not intrusive, caring without enabling dependency. The questions are important. The answers are not obvious. It is a new day in our relationships with our children. The page has been turned, and we are now writing the new chapter in the life of our family. It is important that we get it right.

When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us

Author: Jane Adams
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 074323281X
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 228

Book Description
A book that gives parents permission to let go of their adult children's problems and reclaim their lives.

Doing Life with Your Adult Children

Author: Jim Burns, Ph.D
Publisher: Zondervan
ISBN: 0310353793
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 188

Book Description
Are you struggling to connect with your child now that they've left the nest? Are you feeling the tension and heartache as your relationship dynamic begins to change? In Doing Life with Your Adult Children, bestselling author and parenting expert Jim Burns provides practical advice and hopeful encouragement for navigating this tough yet rewarding transition. If you've raised a child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when they turn eighteen. In many ways, your relationship gets even more complicated--your heart and your head are as involved as ever, but you can feel things shifting, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact. Doing Life with Your Adult Children helps you navigate this rich and challenging season of parenting. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to the most common questions he's received over the years, including: My child's choices are breaking my heart--where did I go wrong? Is it OK to give advice to my grown child? What's the difference between enabling and helping? What boundaries should I have if my child moves back home? What do I do when my child doesn't seem to be maturing into adulthood? How do I relate to my grown child's significant other? What does it mean to have healthy financial boundaries? How can I support my grown children when I don't support their values? Including positive principles on bringing kids back to faith, ideas on how to leave a legacy as a grandparent, and encouragement for every changing season, Doing Life with Your Adult Children is a unique book on your changing role in a calling that never ends.

Difficult

Author: Judith R. Smith
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN: 1538138891
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 283

Book Description
A much-needed perspective on how to mother difficult adult children while balancing one’s own needs. Difficult brings to life the conflicts that arise for mothers who are confronted with the unexpected, burdensome, and even catastrophic dependencies of their adult children associated with mental illness, substance use, or chronic unemployment. Through real stories of mothers and their challenging adult children, this book offers relatable, provocative, and, at times, shocking illustrations of the excruciating maternal dilemma: Which takes precedence—the needs of the mother or of the distressed adult child? With guidance for finding social support, staying safe, engaging in self-care, and helping the adult child, Difficult is a compassionate resource for those living in a family situation which too many keep secret and allows readers to see that they are not alone.

Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children

Author: Allison Bottke
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
ISBN: 073697668X
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 226

Book Description
This important and compassionate new book from the creator of the successful God Allows U-Turns series will help parents and grandparents of the many adult children who continue to make life painful for their loved ones. Writing from firsthand experience, Allison identifies the lies that kept her, and ultimately her son in bondage—and how she overcame them. Additional real life stories from other parents are woven through the text. A tough–love book to help readers cope with dysfunctional adult children, Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children will empower families by offering hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y.—a six–step program to help parents regain control in their homes and in their lives. S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of Money A = Assemble a Support Group N = Nip Excuses in the Bud I = Implement Rules/Boundaries T = Trust Your Instincts Y = Yield Everything to God Foreword by Carol Kent (When I Lay My Isaac Down)

When Your Child Breaks Your Heart

Author: Barbara Johnson
Publisher: Revell
ISBN: 0800787757
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 176

Book Description
Beloved author Barbara Johnson offers hope to families facing difficulty coming to terms with a child's decisions in life, sharing how God brought her through the deep waters--and how he will do the same for them.

For Mothers of Difficult Daughters

Author: Charney Herst
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0307804534
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 321

Book Description
The first mother-daughter book for mothers, featuring a new Afterword and a Reading Group Discussion Guide ¸ Do you long for a better relationship with your daughter? ¸ Do you occasionally feel as though you have failed as a mother? ¸ Do you blame yourself because your relationship with your daughter is strained, faltering, or nonexistent? ¸ Do you feel that the relationship is unchangeable and that there is no chance that it could become a nurturing and deeply satisfying friendship? Dr. Charney Herst knows that there is always more than one side to a story, and in her book, For Mothers of Difficult Daughters, she uses her twenty-five years of experience as counselor and group therapist to provide mothers with solutions that work. In the book she first helps you understand your particular relationship with your grown daughter--untangling the complex web of personal history and intense emotion inherent in any mother-daughter relationship. Then she describes practical, successful, mother-tested steps you can take to repair this all-important bond.