The Best Ever Book of Optician Jokes

Author: Mark Geoffrey Young
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781475119930
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 106

Book Description
If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Libyan, Catholic, Irish, Mexican, Polish, Belgian, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Optician jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Optician Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Optician Jokes is so unoriginal; it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Optician joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Optician jokes; you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Opticians wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured an Optician and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Optician brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Optician who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Opticians laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it.

The Biggest Joke Book Ever

Author: Jack Jacoby
Publisher: Trafford Publishing
ISBN: 1425145418
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 1315

Book Description
An amazing collection of thousands of jokes - great for any occasions or just to get a great belly-laugh.

The Funniest & Grossest Joke Book Ever!

Author: Editors of Portable Press
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1684121450
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 178

Book Description
Make your friends giggle, guffaw, and groan with disgust at over 900 jokes in this massive volume that combines two hilarious books in one. It’s a 2-for-1 of epic proportions. This book combines our two bestselling kids’ joke books: The Funniest Joke Book Ever! and The Grossest Joke Book Ever! Do you know a kid who likes Q&A jokes, knock-knocks, puns, riddles, or one-liners? Of course you do! This collection has all that and more—over 900 jokes—actually. Perfect for boys or girls, it spans all kid-friendly topics, including fairy tales, animals, monsters, and disgusting jokes that’ll make them (and you) want to barf. They’ll laugh out loud at zingers like: Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch? A: Beef jerky! Q: Do zombies eat candy with their fingers? A: No, they eat the fingers separately. Q: What kind of life was found on Pluto? A: Fleas! And many more!

The Biggest, Funniest, Wackiest, Grossest Joke Book Ever!

Author: Editors of Portable Press
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1645175030
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 203

Book Description
Your friends and family will be laughing—and groaning—each time you send one of these zingers their way! Every kid’s joke-abulary will skyrocket with The Biggest, Funniest, Wackiest, Grossest Joke Book Ever! We’ve combined our four best-selling joke books into this special hardcover collection, and added some new jokes too! Hundreds of knock-knock jokes, one-liners, puns, and other groaners make this a must-have for any aspiring class clown. Family jokes, animal jokes, and gross-out jokes for every occasion are waiting for you in this book of silliness!

The Mighty Big Book of Optical Illusions

Author: Craig Yoe
Publisher: Price Stern Sloan
ISBN: 9780843177916
Category : Games & Activities
Languages : en
Pages : 292

Book Description
A collection of hundreds of thought-provoking optical illusions.

Best. Mom Jokes. Ever.

Author: Chantelle Grace
Publisher: BroadStreet Publishing Group LLC
ISBN: 1424558816
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 96

Book Description
I told my mom I couldn't reach the high notes in my choir class... She said I should get a ladder! Every time we go to the ocean, my mom tells me to say hello... the ocean just waves back! If you love arguing about why it’s important to wear a coat when it’s 12 degrees outside... you should be a mom! There’s a legend that if you go take a shower and scream “MOM!” three times... a nice lady appears with the towel you forgot! The next time your young comedian is looking to serve up priceless entertainment, share Best. Mom Jokes. Ever.! Get ready for eyerolls, head shakes, and "aha" moments as you navigate through these mom jokes that make little truths so funny. If you think you’ve heard every mom joke in the book, think again. Best. Mom Jokes. Ever. is sure to have you throwing up your hands and declaring, “Because I said so!”

The Best Ever Book of Blind Jokes

Author: Mark Geoffrey Young
Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub
ISBN: 9781478264545
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 106

Book Description
If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Blind Person jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Blind Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Blind Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Blind Person joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Blind Person jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Blind Persons wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Blind Person and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Blind Person brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Blind Person who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Blind People laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Opticians

Author: Mark Geoffrey Young
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781481915298
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 106

Book Description
If you're looking to gain respect from your employees, increase your income and get more out of your friends, for you, The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Opticians is the book you're looking for. While The Best Ever Guide to Demotivation for Opticians appears to be parody of motivational books, many employers have used this book to get their employees to work harder and increase their standing in the community. Rather than showing you ways to motivate your employees so they'll want to work harder, this book show you how to use fear and intimidation to MAKE them work harder, and ensure that your friends give you the respect you think you deserve. Some of the ways you can use demotivation to get what you want include: *** Every Optician knows that meetings are a complete waste of time. Make yourself more efficient by turning up at every meeting fifteen minutes late, leaving early, and popping in and out while it's in progress. *** Maintain the distance between yourself, the Optician, and your friends by never smiling or saying hello to anybody. While this may appear rude, it's better than having to deal with their problems. *** Nobody gets a better deal at restaurants than Opticians. Before dividing up the bill, calculate your share and work out if it's cheaper to split the bill evenly, or for everybody to pay their own share. Do this every time to save the maximum amount possible. *** Install phones in every bathroom stall and above the urinals so your employees can continue working while they do their business. ***

The Best Ever Book of Chiropractor Jokes

Author: Mark Geoffrey Young
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781469919065
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 106

Book Description
If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Chiropractor jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Chiropractor Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Chiropractor Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Chiropractor joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Chiropractor jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Chiropractors wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Chiropractor and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Chiropractor brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Chiropractor who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Chiropractors laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it.

The Best Ever Book of Money Saving Tips for Opticians

Author: Mark Geoffrey Young
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781490344546
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 106

Book Description
The Best Ever Book of Money Saving Tips for Opticians: Creative Ways to Cut Your Costs, Conserve Your Capital And Keep Your Cash; is the ultimate guide to saving money and getting rich quick. Filled with the craziest, funniest and most ridiculous money saving tips you can imagine, this humorous, groundbreaking resource shows you how Opticians waste money and provides you with everything you need to transform your life.The Best Ever Book of Money Saving Tips for Opticians is filled revolutionary tips that even the tightest Tightwad would have trouble coming up with. Bright ideas include: • Hanging out your dental floss to dry so you can reuse it later • Finding God to reduce your household expenses • Filling your Thermos at work to reduce your water bill • Fasting to reduce your food costs. Other tips include: • Cutting your bathroom costs by 50% • Changing the perception others have of you • Making your family grateful for the things they have • Getting others to help you save money • Reducing your expenditure on food and other necessities.The savings in this book are so extreme; most Opticians won't be able to implement them. But for those that do, they'll be able to recover the cost of this book after just a few pages. Ask yourself: Are you a cost-cutting warrior willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to save money, or are you a spendthrift Optician who wastes money?