Letters from a Nut

Author: Ted L. Nancy
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0063084821
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 280

Book Description
Who is Ted L. Nancy? He's a superstitious Vegas high-roller who wants to gamble at a casino in his lucky shrimp outfit... He's the genius inventor of "Six Day Underwear"... He's a stage actor who only travels while dressed as a stick of butter... He is, in reality, a twisted prankster—a supremely off-kilter alter ego who sends patently ridiculous letters to corporate honchos, entertainment conglomerates, national publications, politicians, celebrities and heads of state. His innocent requests, queries, complaints, demands, and suggestions are so absurd it is amazing they fool anyone—but often the deadpan responses he receives are even more hilarious: "Dear Mr. Nancy, It is not often that we receive such enthusiastic support for the paper bag." —The Paper Bag Council "On behalf of Greyhound, there should be no problem traveling while in your butter costume." —Greyhound Bus Lines "I look forward to working with you to create a better future for this great nation." —Vice President Al Gore Letters From A Nut is an insanely inspired, truly madcap collection of Nancy correspondence, a wet-yourself-in-a-public place funny aggregation of official—and officially certifiable—requests, complaints, fan mail and questions that could not possibly have been taken seriously...but, amazingly, were.

More Letters from a Nut

Author: Ted L. Nancy
Publisher: Bantam
ISBN: 0804149801
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 871

Book Description
Seinfeld. For more than 33 million viewers, the Emmy Award-winning television show has become a Thursday night ritual. Now, even though the show has ended, Jerry Seinfeld's distinct brand of humor can still be yours. Ted L. Nancy's first book, Letters from a Nut, with an introduction by Jerry Seinfeld, now has more than 225,000 copies in print. In More Letters From a Nut, master-prankster Nancy shares even more sidesplittingly funny letters he has written and the unbelievable true responses he has received.

All New Letters from a Nut

Author: Ted L. Nancy
Publisher: Crown Archetype
ISBN: 0307716287
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 258

Book Description
The best-selling author of Letters from a Nut presents a latest collection of whimsical correspondence between the author and the unwary establishments, organizations and government offices that attempted to respond to such requests as a hotel room for 300 hamsters and a 59-foot piece of bologna.

Extra Nutty! Even More Letters from a Nut!

Author: Ted Nancy
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 9780312261559
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 244

Book Description
Welcome to the world of Ted L. Nancy. Some have called him inspired, some have called him a goofball, and many have wondered who Ted really is. All we know is that Ted loves to write and it shows-Extra Nutty! is chock full of nut, a record of real live correspondence from America's favorite pen pal to a cross-section of this great nation. Extra Nutty! is bursting with all new letters showing Ted at his looniest. Take, for example, this: Dear Business Permits Dept.: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city...I operate the Soup & Sleep Restaurants. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Or this: Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "Mark Twain with Tourette's Syndrome.". . . Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovie tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds. Or even this: Dear Kmart: I have invented a male underpants liner...This liner fits right in your shorts and can be thrown away after 15 weeks. I have been wearing the same pair of underwear for 105 days now and although they feel a little stretchy they are perfectly clean. Ted's unique way of looking at the world-and how the world responds to Ted's schemes--is captured here in this extra nutty, hugely hilarious collection.

The Falconer

Author: Dana Czapnik
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501193244
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 304

Book Description
A New York Times Editor’s Choice Pick “A novel of huge heart and fierce intelligence. It has restored my faith in pretty much everything.” —Ann Patchett, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Commonwealth “[An] electric debut novel…Reader, beware: Spending time with Lucy is unapologetic fun, and heartbreak, and awe as well.” —Chloe Malle, The New York Times Book Review In this “frank, bittersweet coming-of-age story that crackles with raw adolescent energy, fresh-cut prose, and a kinetic sense of place” (Entertainment Weekly), a teenaged tomboy explores love, growing up, and New York City in the early 1990s. New York, 1993. Street-smart seventeen-year-old Lucy Adler is often the only girl on the public basketball courts. Lucy’s inner life is a contradiction. She’s by turns quixotic and cynical, insecure and self-possessed, and, despite herself, is in unrequited love with her best friend and pickup teammate, Percy, the rebellious son of a prominent New York family. As Lucy begins to question accepted notions of success, bristling against her own hunger for male approval, she is drawn into the world of a pair of provocative feminist artists living in what remains of New York’s bohemia. Told with wit and pathos, The Falconer is at once a novel of ideas, a portrait of a time and place, and an ode to the obsessions of youth. In her critically acclaimed debut, Dana Czapnik captures the voice of an unforgettable modern literary heroine, a young woman in the first flush of freedom.

I Want That Nut!

Author: Madeline Valentine
Publisher: Knopf Books for Young Readers
ISBN: 1101940395
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 22

Book Description
A nutty and clever buddy story that celebrates cooperation, perfect for fans of Duck and Goose. Meet Mouse and Chipmunk, two young rodents who want the same thing—a big, beautiful nut! But who deserves it more? After all, Chipmunk and the Nut read together and lie in the grass and stare at the clouds. Chipmunk wants that nut! And Mouse and the Nut play tic-tac-toe and have a dance party together. Mouse also wants that nut! But then Squirrel comes along and claims the Nut for his own. What’s a rodent to do? "A winning combination of words and pictures for beginning readers and listeners."--Kirkus, Starred review "While giggling over Mouse and Chipmunk’s antics, readers will easily relate to the way they vacillate between selfishness and selflessness, and Valentine’s watercolor forest, awash in browns and greens, is an inviting place to learn about sharing and friendship. Who knew inanimate friends could be so rewarding?"--Publishers Weekly, Starred review "Streamlined text in short big-print sentences with dialogue in speech balloons is friendly to beginning readers as well as readers-aloud, and the flights of fancy into each critter’s friendship with the nut are highly giggleworthy."--The Bulletin "Expertly drawn and designed to keep the action moving as tails fly off the page. This book quietly introduces the topics of sharing and friendship by example, echoing the voice of young children."--School Library Journal

Little Billy's Letters

Author: Bill Geerhart
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061807281
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 260

Book Description
In this irreverent collection, Little Billy brings together his original outlandish letters written to celebrities, criminals, and politicians; the responses they elicited; and a host of photos and miscellany on a variety of wild topics.

Wilber Winkle Has a Complaint!

Author: John Homans
Publisher: Bancroft Press
ISBN: 0963124641
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 453

Book Description
Wilber Winkle, an idiosyncratic nebbish with a peculiar focus on the odd and unlikely fact, has corresponded for years with America's major corporations. Fuelling his complaints and comments is a single overriding premise: that the rights of consumers -- his rights -- are under siege, and he must do what he can to defend them. Employing the exasperating curiosity of a six year old and far-fetched notions which only he can devise, Wilber will have readers laughing aloud, trying to read their favourite Wilber letters to friends and relatives without cracking up. A devilishly clever book!

Hello Junk Mail!

Author: Ted L. Nancy
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780980059212
Category : American wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Humour.

Nut Tree

Author: Diane Power Zimmerman
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780578995199
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :

Book Description
Long before California became a world leader in wine and food, Nut Tree pioneered the idea of dining as, first and foremost, an experience. The food not only delighted the palate, but it also presented a visual feast. By 1952, customers experienced the bounty of farm-to-table, the nostalgia of grandma's homemade bread, a tamale of Old California, exotic tropical fruits, or stir-fried entrees inspired by Asian cultures. Later, customers sipped California wines along with fresh-from-the-farm foods. This epic story of a world-famous restaurant spans the twentieth century and tells how a California ranch grew into a renowned destination in Vacaville, California, fifty miles inland from San Francisco. Visitors came by land and by air knowing they would find surprises-something found nowhere else. They came to dine, purchase fresh baked goods, candies, unique gifts, or just to look at the art and enjoy the entertainment. While basking in the hospitality, customers came back again and again, making life-long friends with family and employees. Central to the story is the author's grandmother, Helen Harbison Power, who, as a newlywed along with her husband, Bunny, opened a fruit stand that grew into a multi-million-dollar roadside destination. For seventy-five years, Nut Tree defined Western food, mid-century design, and cutting-edge hospitality, attracting ordinary folks, and serving dignitaries alike, including Ronald Regan, Neil Armstrong, and Queen Elizabeth II. While many journalists have written articles about the rich history of Nut Tree, no one has written a five-generation retrospective. Diane Power Zimmerman draws from her own experiences as a founding family member growing up at Nut Tree and from the treasure trove of memorabilia--photos, stories, family histories, newspaper clippings, and letters. She reflects on how Nut Tree defied the odds and foreshadowed the future. Then, seemingly overnight, the future became a high-speed freeway and wall-to-wall shopping centers with an abundance of choice and fierce competition. Nut Tree, in all its complexity, could no longer compete and closed after seventy-five years.