Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid

Author: Howard J Morris
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416595058
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 257

Book Description
THE REVEALiNG, RiP-ROARiNGLY FUNNY GUiDE TO MAKiNG EVERY RELATiONSHiP SMARTER, SANER, AND HAPPiER. Since the dawn of time, when the first smitten caveboy tried to woo the object of his affections by shoving her into the mud, men have demonstrated that when it comes to women, they are profoundly stupid. And when it comes to men, women -- no matter how intelligent or mature -- are completely crazy. Based on this simple yet groundbreaking insight, comedy writers and real-life couple Howard J. Morris and Jenny Lee have devised a relationship guide that is refreshingly honest, completely hilarious, and surprisingly practical. Using their own crazy/stupid romance as an example of these forces in action, they set out to explain why women ask questions that they absolutely do not want answered -- and why men persist in answering them. What are men really thinking -- or crucially, not thinking? Why do women view even the most mundane events through an emotional prism? Why do guys suck at being romantic? And why does every conversation with a woman lead back to whether or not she's fat? Using wit, hard-earned wisdom, and a highly entertaining he said/she said format, the authors explore the surprising method to his dumbness and the valid reasons behind her insanity, while providing real solutions to perennial relationship problems. By teaching men how and why they're stupid around women and showing women how to "control the crazy" for everybody's sake, Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid helps couples to reach the place where giving isn't giving in, needing isn't needy, and where the sexes can break the dysfunctional patterns and find a way to live lovingly, happily ever after.

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

Author: George Carlin
Publisher: Hachette Books
ISBN: 1401381715
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 309

Book Description
On the heels of George Carlin's #1 New York Times bestseller Napalm & Silly Putty comes When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? -- infused with Carlin's trademark irreverent humor and biting cultural observations. Here we go again . . . George Carlin's hilarious When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? offers his cutting-edge opinions and observational humor on everything from evasive euphemistic language to politicians to the media to dead people. Nothing and no one is safe! Despite the current climate of political correctness, Carlin is not afraid to take on controversial topics: Carlin on the media: The media comprises equal parts business, politics, advertising, public relations, and show business. Nice combination. Enough bull for Texas to open a chain of branch offices. Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Carlin on hygiene: When did they pass a law that says the people who make my sandwich have to be wearing gloves? I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want glove residue all over my food; it's not sanitary. Who knows where these gloves have been? Carlin on evasive language: Just to demonstrate how far using euphemisms in language has gone, some psychologists are now actually referring to ugly people as those with "severe appearance deficits." Hey, Doctor. How's that for "denial"? Carlin on politics: No self-respecting politician would ever admit to working in the government. They prefer to think of themselves "serving the nation." To help visualize the service they provide the country, you may wish to picture the things that take place on a stud farm. The thinking person's comic who uses words as weapons, Carlin puts voice to issues that capture the modern imagination. For instance, why are there Ten Commandments? Are UFOs real? What will the future really be like? This brand-new collection tackles all that and more. In When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Carlin's razor-sharp observations demolish everyday values and leave you laughing out loud--delivering exactly what his countless fans have been waiting for.

Men Are Stupid, Women Are Crazy

Author: Peter Ruehl
Publisher: Melbourne Univ. Publishing
ISBN: 0522861121
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 321

Book Description
Ruehl's irreverent wit and ability to puncture pretentiousness with a well-turned phrase gave thousands of dedicated readers a good reason to read the paper back to front on the days the column appeared. His descriptions of growing up with teenage children are laugh-out-loud funny (well, for parents), and a younger generation of readers decided he was cool, with his constant satirical references to their music, dress and approach to life. Politicians sometimes winced but knew his hilarious descriptions of what was really going on in Canberra resonated more loudly than any press release. Peter Ruehl never lost his distinctive American style but he was able to understand Australian culture and to write about it and his views in a passionately funny and deeply personal way. Greg Hywood, chief executive of Fairfax, says he became a 'national institution'.

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!

Author: Kate Kelly
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0743288947
Category : Health & Fitness
Languages : en
Pages : 504

Book Description
A revised and updated edition of the classic self-help book that has served as a lifeline to the millions of adults who have ADHD! With over a quarter million copies in print, You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! is one of the bestselling books on attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder ever written. There is a great deal of literature about children with ADHD, but what do you do if you have ADHD and aren't a child anymore? This indispensable reference—the first of its kind written for adults with ADHD by adults with ADHD—focuses on the experiences of adults, offering updated information, practical how-tos, and moral support to help readers deal with ADHD. It also explains the diagnostic process that distinguishes ADHD symptoms from normal lapses in memory, lack of concentration or impulsive behavior, offering guidance on how your reframe our view of ADHD and embrace its benefits. Here's what's new: The new ADHD medications and their effectiveness The effects of ADHD on human sexuality The differences between male and female ADHD—including falling estrogen levels and its impact on cognitive function The power of meditation ADHD coaching tricks and tips And the book still includes the tried-and-true advice about: Achieving balance by analyzing one's strengths and weaknesses Getting along in groups, at work and in intimate and family relationships—including how to decrease discord and chaos Learning the mechanics and methods for getting organized and improving memory Seeking professional help, including therapy and medication

Women are from Venus, Men are from Hell

Author: Amanda Newman
Publisher: Pocket Books
ISBN: 9780671037338
Category : Interpersonal communication
Languages : en
Pages : 211

Book Description
A spiky and cheeky look at the male sex in a parody of the megabestseller MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS. Neatly sectioned in chapters with titles such as 'Men: Simple or Dense?' and 'There Must Be Some Misunderstanding', WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS, MEN ARE FROM HELL is a collection of the wittiest, cattiest, funniest quotes about men - from both frustrated women and smart men: 'I married beneath me, all women do' - Nancy Astor 'Get a job, your husband hates you. Get a good job, your husband leaves you. Get a stupendous job, your husband leaves you for a teenager' - Cynthia Heimel 'Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels' - Ann Richards 'Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name' - Joan Rivers 'If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman' - Margaret Thatcher 'If men liked shopping, they'd call it research' - Cynthia Nelms 'Behind every great man there is a surprised woman' - Maryon Pearson

Crazy Stupid Bromance

Author: Lyssa Kay Adams
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1984806149
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 354

Book Description
"[A] catchy premise with surprising wisdom and specificity."--New York Times Book Review on The Bromance Book Club A LibraryReads Hall of Fame Title A hacktivist and a cat café owner decode the friend zone in this romantic comedy from the author of Undercover Bromance. Alexis Carlisle and her cat café, ToeBeans, have shot to fame after she came forward as a victim of a celebrity chef’s sexual harassment. When a new customer approaches to confide in her, the last thing Alexis expects is for the woman to claim they’re sisters. Unsure what to do, Alexis turns to the only man she trusts—her best friend, Noah Logan. Computer genius Noah left his rebellious teenage hacker past behind to become a computer security expert. Now he only uses his old skills for the right cause. But Noah’s got a secret: He’s madly in love with Alexis. When she asks for his help, he wonders if the timing will ever be right to confess his crush. Noah’s pals in The Bromance Book Club are more than willing to share their beloved “manuals” to help him go from bud to boyfriend. But he must decide if telling the truth is worth risking the best friendship he’s ever had.

Men Are Better Than Women

Author: Dick Masterson
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 141695919X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 275

Book Description
Through a process of exhaustive man research he calls "keeping his eyes open," Dick Masterson has compiled a Magnum-size list of the ways men are better than women. It is an infallible compendium of man's greatness, filled with the most egregiously fallacious arguments ever put to words, but with some kind of miraculous, rock-solid man logic dripping like motor oil from every sentence. It is a manifesto more memorable than bullshit like High Fidelity or which Axe baby powder Maxim thinks you should slap on your nuts before clubbing, more chock-full of devastating man quotes than Oscar Wilde with two wangs. Most important, it is the only one of its kind. In Men Are Better Than Women, Dick Masterson dispenses logic from his man mouth into the eyes of his male readers like some kind of mighty mother man eagle with nutrient-rich word vomit. It's a book that makes you feel like driving a train into a dynamite factory and then tearing a telephone book apart with your bare hands, just because that's the way men have always done it. Masterson's chapters are simple and self-contained, demand no commitments from readers, and have an immediate payoff. Men Are Better Than Women is a dangerous work of satire -- not dangerous in a revolutionary sense, but dangerous in that it walks the razor-thin line between cruelty and absurdity. That line is called hilarious.

Why Men Love Bitches

Author: Sherry Argov
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1580627560
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 288

Book Description
Describes why men are attracted to strong women and offers advice on ways a woman can relate to men and gain a man's love and respect.

Fascinating Womanhood

Author: Helen Andelin
Publisher: Bantam
ISBN: 9780553273755
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 324

Book Description
How to Make Your Marriage a Lifelong Love Affair What makes a woman fascinating to her husband? What is happiness in marriage for a woman? These are just two of the questions Helen B. Andelin answers in the bestselling classic that has already brought new happiness and life to millions of marriages. Fascinating Womanhoodoffers timeless wisdom, practical advice, and old-fashioned values to meet the needs and challenges of today's fascinating woman. Inside you'll learn: What traits today's men find irresistible in a woman How to awaken a man's deepest feelings of love Eight rules for a successful relationship How to rekindle your love life How to bring out the best in your manand reap the rewards Plus special advice for the working womanand much more! Fascinating Womanhoodoffers guidance for a new generation of womenhappy, fulfilled, adored and cherishedwho want to rediscover the magic of their own feminine selves.

Get the Guy

Author: Matthew Hussey
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062241761
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 207

Book Description
Most dating books tell you what NOT to do. Here's a book dedicated to telling you what you CAN do. In his book, Get the Guy, Matthew Hussey—relationship expert, matchmaker, and star of the reality show Ready for Love—reveals the secrets of the male mind and the fundamentals of dating and mating for a proven, revolutionary approach to help women to find lasting love. Matthew Hussey has coached thousands of high-powered CEOs, showing them how to develop confidence and build relationships that translate into professional success. Many of Matthew’s male clients pressed him for advice on how to apply his winning strategies not to just get the job, but how to get the girl. As his reputation grew, Hussey was approached by more and more women, eager to hear what he had learned about the male perspective on love and romance. From landing a first date to establishing emotional intimacy, playful flirtation to red-hot bedroom tips, Matthew’s insightfulness, irreverence, and warmth makes Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve a one-of-a-kind relationship guide and the handbook for every woman who wants to get the guy she’s been waiting for.