Author: Rosemarie Jarski
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1407079026
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 578
Book Description
The bestselling, blockbusting, bumper book of humorous quotations rides back into town with 6,000 more hilariously funny quotes. From times past to the modern day, classic funnies to contemporary wit, The Funniest Thing You Never Said 2 delivers an unbeatable selection of fantastic and hilarious quotes on every subject under the sun. Featuring topics as diverse as celebrity to religion, and including a cast of quotees ranging from Oscar Wilde to Homer Simpson, there's something here for everyone with a sense of humour. 'I am willing to love all mankind, except an American.' - Samuel Johnson 'Glastonbury was very wet and muddy. There was trench foot, dysentery, peaches ... all the Geldof daughters.' - Sean Lock 'Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people.' - Richard Nixon 'I've had more women than most people have noses.' - Steve Martin 'I have the simplest tastes. I'm always satisfied with the best.' - Oscar Wilde 'Well, it's 1am. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.' - Homer Simpson 'All I know is I'm not a Marxist.' - Karl Marx 'I'm the pink sheep of the family.' - Alexander McQueen
A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again
Author: David Foster Wallace
Publisher: Back Bay Books
ISBN: 0316090522
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 549
Book Description
These widely acclaimed essays from the author of Infinite Jest -- on television, tennis, cruise ships, and more -- established David Foster Wallace as one of the preeminent essayists of his generation. In this exuberantly praised book -- a collection of seven pieces on subjects ranging from television to tennis, from the Illinois State Fair to the films of David Lynch, from postmodern literary theory to the supposed fun of traveling aboard a Caribbean luxury cruiseliner -- David Foster Wallace brings to nonfiction the same curiosity, hilarity, and exhilarating verbal facility that has delighted readers of his fiction, including the bestselling Infinite Jest.
Publisher: Back Bay Books
ISBN: 0316090522
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 549
Book Description
These widely acclaimed essays from the author of Infinite Jest -- on television, tennis, cruise ships, and more -- established David Foster Wallace as one of the preeminent essayists of his generation. In this exuberantly praised book -- a collection of seven pieces on subjects ranging from television to tennis, from the Illinois State Fair to the films of David Lynch, from postmodern literary theory to the supposed fun of traveling aboard a Caribbean luxury cruiseliner -- David Foster Wallace brings to nonfiction the same curiosity, hilarity, and exhilarating verbal facility that has delighted readers of his fiction, including the bestselling Infinite Jest.
Dim Wit
Author: Rosemarie Jarski
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 0091924502
Category : Quotations, English
Languages : en
Pages : 578
Book Description
-"Tom [Cruise] has--we all have--the right to practice how we feel...don't judge someone until they have tossed your salad." --John Travolta -"I love Africa in general--South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries." --Paris Hilton -"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." --George W. Bush -"My game is like the Pythagorean theorem: No one has an answer." --Shaquille O'Neal -"It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people." --Axl Rose From Muhammad Ali to Frank Zappa, everyone has said something idiotic at some point. Dim Wit presents the most hilarious verbal mishaps ever uttered by famous figures. Perfect for e-mailing to friends and family or giving yourself a laugh before bed, these adventures in Blunderland define "jaw-droppingly stupid."
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 0091924502
Category : Quotations, English
Languages : en
Pages : 578
Book Description
-"Tom [Cruise] has--we all have--the right to practice how we feel...don't judge someone until they have tossed your salad." --John Travolta -"I love Africa in general--South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries." --Paris Hilton -"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." --George W. Bush -"My game is like the Pythagorean theorem: No one has an answer." --Shaquille O'Neal -"It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people." --Axl Rose From Muhammad Ali to Frank Zappa, everyone has said something idiotic at some point. Dim Wit presents the most hilarious verbal mishaps ever uttered by famous figures. Perfect for e-mailing to friends and family or giving yourself a laugh before bed, these adventures in Blunderland define "jaw-droppingly stupid."
The Dumbest Things Ever Said
Author: Steven D. Price
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN: 1493029436
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 353
Book Description
A collection of stupid utterances, mostly unintentional--although not always--from politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can put their feet in their mouths. Based on recorded history, it's safe to say that dumb remarks have been with us since the invention of writing. Young or old, rich or poor, famous or unknown, people of all generations and cultures have seized the opportunity to say something dumb - stupidity has always been an equal opportunity employer. In celebration of such mental lapses and pure idiocy, here is a collection of stupid utterances, unintentional and otherwise, from the worlds of politics, radio, television, newspapers, show business, sports, and literature - and everywhere else people can - and have - put their feet in their mouths.
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN: 1493029436
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 353
Book Description
A collection of stupid utterances, mostly unintentional--although not always--from politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can put their feet in their mouths. Based on recorded history, it's safe to say that dumb remarks have been with us since the invention of writing. Young or old, rich or poor, famous or unknown, people of all generations and cultures have seized the opportunity to say something dumb - stupidity has always been an equal opportunity employer. In celebration of such mental lapses and pure idiocy, here is a collection of stupid utterances, unintentional and otherwise, from the worlds of politics, radio, television, newspapers, show business, sports, and literature - and everywhere else people can - and have - put their feet in their mouths.
Things I've Said to My Children
Author: Nathan Ripperger
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
ISBN: 1607748304
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 98
Book Description
An illustrated gift book that brings to life the universal parenting experience of saying strange and hilarious things to one's kids. As the father of five boys (all under age 10), graphic designer Nathan Ripperger has found himself saying some rather funny, absurd, and downright bizarre things to his children, from "Stop riding that penguin, we're leaving" to "I am NOT talking to you until you are wearing underwear." He created poster-like images for each and posted them online. The response from other parents was overwhelming. With Things I've Said to My Children, Ripperger has assembled around 80 of the funniest, weirdest, and most amusing sayings and paired them with full-color, designed images that bring these outrageously hysterical quotes to life. Covering the essential parenting topics like food, animals, don'ts, and of course, bodily functions, Things I've Said to My Children is a light-hearted illustrated reminder of the shared absurdity of parenthood. Especially for those parents who've ever found themselves uttering some variation of the line, "Please don't eat the goldfish crackers you've put in your butt."
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
ISBN: 1607748304
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 98
Book Description
An illustrated gift book that brings to life the universal parenting experience of saying strange and hilarious things to one's kids. As the father of five boys (all under age 10), graphic designer Nathan Ripperger has found himself saying some rather funny, absurd, and downright bizarre things to his children, from "Stop riding that penguin, we're leaving" to "I am NOT talking to you until you are wearing underwear." He created poster-like images for each and posted them online. The response from other parents was overwhelming. With Things I've Said to My Children, Ripperger has assembled around 80 of the funniest, weirdest, and most amusing sayings and paired them with full-color, designed images that bring these outrageously hysterical quotes to life. Covering the essential parenting topics like food, animals, don'ts, and of course, bodily functions, Things I've Said to My Children is a light-hearted illustrated reminder of the shared absurdity of parenthood. Especially for those parents who've ever found themselves uttering some variation of the line, "Please don't eat the goldfish crackers you've put in your butt."
I Know This Much Is True
Author: Wally Lamb
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
ISBN: 9780060391621
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 884
Book Description
With his stunning debut novel, She's Come Undone, Wally Lamb won the adulation of critics and readers with his mesmerizing tale of one woman's painful yet triumphant journey of self-discovery. Now, this brilliantly talented writer returns with I Know This Much Is True, a heartbreaking and poignant multigenerational saga of the reproductive bonds of destruction and the powerful force of forgiveness. A masterpiece that breathtakingly tells a story of alienation and connection, power and abuse, devastation and renewal--this novel is a contemporary retelling of an ancient Hindu myth. A proud king must confront his demons to achieve salvation. Change yourself, the myth instructs, and you will inhabit a renovated world. When you're the same brother of a schizophrenic identical twin, the tricky thing about saving yourself is the blood it leaves on your bands--the little inconvenience of the look-alike corpse at your feet. And if you're into both survival of the fittest and being your brother's keeper--if you've promised your dying mother--then say so long to sleep and hello to the middle of the night. Grab a book or a beer. Get used to Letterman's gap-toothed smile of the absurd, or the view of the bedroom ceiling, or the influence of random selection. Take it from a godless insomniac. Take it from the uncrazy twin--the guy who beat the biochemical rap. Dominick Birdsey's entire life has been compromised and constricted by anger and fear, by the paranoid schizophrenic twin brother he both deeply loves and resents, and by the past they shared with their adoptive father, Ray, a spit-and-polish ex-Navy man (the five-foot-six-inch sleeping giant who snoozed upstairs weekdays in the spare room and built submarines at night), and their long-suffering mother, Concettina, a timid woman with a harelip that made her shy and self-conscious: She holds a loose fist to her face to cover her defective mouth--her perpetual apology to the world for a birth defect over which she'd had no control. Born in the waning moments of 1949 and the opening minutes of 1950, the twins are physical mirror images who grow into separate yet connected entities: the seemingly strong and protective yet fearful Dominick, his mother's watchful "monkey"; and the seemingly weak and sweet yet noble Thomas, his mother's gentle "bunny." From childhood, Dominick fights for both separation and wholeness--and ultimately self-protection--in a house of fear dominated by Ray, a bully who abuses his power over these stepsons whose biological father is a mystery. I was still afraid of his anger but saw how he punished weakness--pounced on it. Out of self-preservation I hid my fear, Dominick confesses. As for Thomas, he just never knew how to play defense. He just didn't get it. But Dominick's talent for survival comes at an enormous cost, including the breakup of his marriage to the warm, beautiful Dessa, whom he still loves. And it will be put to the ultimate test when Thomas, a Bible-spouting zealot, commits an unthinkable act that threatens the tenuous balance of both his and Dominick's lives. To save himself, Dominick must confront not only the pain of his past but the dark secrets he has locked deep within himself, and the sins of his ancestors--a quest that will lead him beyond the confines of his blue-collar New England town to the volcanic foothills of Sicily 's Mount Etna, where his ambitious and vengefully proud grandfather and a namesake Domenico Tempesta, the sostegno del famiglia, was born. Each of the stories Ma told us about Papa reinforced the message that he was the boss, that he ruled the roost, that what he said went. Searching for answers, Dominick turns to the whispers of the dead, to the pages of his grandfather's handwritten memoir, The History of Domenico Onofrio Tempesta, a Great Man from Humble Beginnings. Rendered with touches of magic realism, Domenico's fablelike tale--in which monkeys enchant and religious statues weep--becomes the old man's confession--an unwitting legacy of contrition that reveals the truth's of Domenico's life, Dominick learns that power, wrongly used, defeats the oppressor as well as the oppressed, and now, picking through the humble shards of his deconstructed life, he will search for the courage and love to forgive, to expiate his and his ancestors' transgressions, and finally to rebuild himself beyond the haunted shadow of his twin. Set against the vivid panoply of twentieth-century America and filled with richly drawn, memorable characters, this deeply moving and thoroughly satisfying novel brings to light humanity's deepest needs and fears, our aloneness, our desire for love and acceptance, our struggle to survive at all costs. Joyous, mystical, and exquisitely written, I Know This Much Is True is an extraordinary reading experience that will leave no reader untouched.
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
ISBN: 9780060391621
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 884
Book Description
With his stunning debut novel, She's Come Undone, Wally Lamb won the adulation of critics and readers with his mesmerizing tale of one woman's painful yet triumphant journey of self-discovery. Now, this brilliantly talented writer returns with I Know This Much Is True, a heartbreaking and poignant multigenerational saga of the reproductive bonds of destruction and the powerful force of forgiveness. A masterpiece that breathtakingly tells a story of alienation and connection, power and abuse, devastation and renewal--this novel is a contemporary retelling of an ancient Hindu myth. A proud king must confront his demons to achieve salvation. Change yourself, the myth instructs, and you will inhabit a renovated world. When you're the same brother of a schizophrenic identical twin, the tricky thing about saving yourself is the blood it leaves on your bands--the little inconvenience of the look-alike corpse at your feet. And if you're into both survival of the fittest and being your brother's keeper--if you've promised your dying mother--then say so long to sleep and hello to the middle of the night. Grab a book or a beer. Get used to Letterman's gap-toothed smile of the absurd, or the view of the bedroom ceiling, or the influence of random selection. Take it from a godless insomniac. Take it from the uncrazy twin--the guy who beat the biochemical rap. Dominick Birdsey's entire life has been compromised and constricted by anger and fear, by the paranoid schizophrenic twin brother he both deeply loves and resents, and by the past they shared with their adoptive father, Ray, a spit-and-polish ex-Navy man (the five-foot-six-inch sleeping giant who snoozed upstairs weekdays in the spare room and built submarines at night), and their long-suffering mother, Concettina, a timid woman with a harelip that made her shy and self-conscious: She holds a loose fist to her face to cover her defective mouth--her perpetual apology to the world for a birth defect over which she'd had no control. Born in the waning moments of 1949 and the opening minutes of 1950, the twins are physical mirror images who grow into separate yet connected entities: the seemingly strong and protective yet fearful Dominick, his mother's watchful "monkey"; and the seemingly weak and sweet yet noble Thomas, his mother's gentle "bunny." From childhood, Dominick fights for both separation and wholeness--and ultimately self-protection--in a house of fear dominated by Ray, a bully who abuses his power over these stepsons whose biological father is a mystery. I was still afraid of his anger but saw how he punished weakness--pounced on it. Out of self-preservation I hid my fear, Dominick confesses. As for Thomas, he just never knew how to play defense. He just didn't get it. But Dominick's talent for survival comes at an enormous cost, including the breakup of his marriage to the warm, beautiful Dessa, whom he still loves. And it will be put to the ultimate test when Thomas, a Bible-spouting zealot, commits an unthinkable act that threatens the tenuous balance of both his and Dominick's lives. To save himself, Dominick must confront not only the pain of his past but the dark secrets he has locked deep within himself, and the sins of his ancestors--a quest that will lead him beyond the confines of his blue-collar New England town to the volcanic foothills of Sicily 's Mount Etna, where his ambitious and vengefully proud grandfather and a namesake Domenico Tempesta, the sostegno del famiglia, was born. Each of the stories Ma told us about Papa reinforced the message that he was the boss, that he ruled the roost, that what he said went. Searching for answers, Dominick turns to the whispers of the dead, to the pages of his grandfather's handwritten memoir, The History of Domenico Onofrio Tempesta, a Great Man from Humble Beginnings. Rendered with touches of magic realism, Domenico's fablelike tale--in which monkeys enchant and religious statues weep--becomes the old man's confession--an unwitting legacy of contrition that reveals the truth's of Domenico's life, Dominick learns that power, wrongly used, defeats the oppressor as well as the oppressed, and now, picking through the humble shards of his deconstructed life, he will search for the courage and love to forgive, to expiate his and his ancestors' transgressions, and finally to rebuild himself beyond the haunted shadow of his twin. Set against the vivid panoply of twentieth-century America and filled with richly drawn, memorable characters, this deeply moving and thoroughly satisfying novel brings to light humanity's deepest needs and fears, our aloneness, our desire for love and acceptance, our struggle to survive at all costs. Joyous, mystical, and exquisitely written, I Know This Much Is True is an extraordinary reading experience that will leave no reader untouched.
Great British Wit
Author: Rosemarie Jarski
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 0091906318
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 466
Book Description
Arranged thematically--from Class and Character, Sex and Snobbery, to the Foreigner's Eye View--here is the definitive collection of the British nation's funniest quotations. Among the many great and good who dazzle us with their wit are Martin Amis, Jane Austen, Billy Connolly, Quentin Crisp, Roald Dahl, John Lennon, Queen Victoria, and Oscar Wilde.
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 0091906318
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 466
Book Description
Arranged thematically--from Class and Character, Sex and Snobbery, to the Foreigner's Eye View--here is the definitive collection of the British nation's funniest quotations. Among the many great and good who dazzle us with their wit are Martin Amis, Jane Austen, Billy Connolly, Quentin Crisp, Roald Dahl, John Lennon, Queen Victoria, and Oscar Wilde.
The Last Lecture
Author: Randy Pausch
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780340978504
Category : Cancer
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
The author, a computer science professor diagnosed with terminal cancer, explores his life, the lessons that he has learned, how he has worked to achieve his childhood dreams, and the effect of his diagnosis on him and his family.
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780340978504
Category : Cancer
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
The author, a computer science professor diagnosed with terminal cancer, explores his life, the lessons that he has learned, how he has worked to achieve his childhood dreams, and the effect of his diagnosis on him and his family.
Funny Things My Kids Say: Keepsake Parents Journal Childhood Memory Book Red Black
Author: MM Creative Notebooks
Publisher: Independently Published
ISBN: 9781726734400
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 104
Book Description
Kids say the funniest things. Keep track of those special memories with this cute notebook. You'll love looking back and remembering those times when your kids had you rolling on the floor with laughter or having you blush with embarrassment. Every moment is special so grab this journal and keep notes, you'll be glad you did! It's the perfect gift for new moms, parents of toddlers and small children or any family member who wants to look back on those special times with the kids they dearly love. 6x9 Paperback Bound Book 122 pages Find other kids quote journal designs and different notebooks by selecting the hyperlink for "authors name" near the top of this listing.
Publisher: Independently Published
ISBN: 9781726734400
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 104
Book Description
Kids say the funniest things. Keep track of those special memories with this cute notebook. You'll love looking back and remembering those times when your kids had you rolling on the floor with laughter or having you blush with embarrassment. Every moment is special so grab this journal and keep notes, you'll be glad you did! It's the perfect gift for new moms, parents of toddlers and small children or any family member who wants to look back on those special times with the kids they dearly love. 6x9 Paperback Bound Book 122 pages Find other kids quote journal designs and different notebooks by selecting the hyperlink for "authors name" near the top of this listing.