Mair Edinbuggers Vs Weegies and Merr Weegies Vs Edinbuggers

Author: Ian Black
Publisher: Black & White Publishing
ISBN: 1845028538
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 156

Book Description
Mair/Merr hilarious jokes and anecdotes on the eternal struggle that is WEEGIES v EDINBUGGERS Ian Black has been called 'a best selling author' so many times that he is thinking of patenting the phrase and making his fortune that way, but he still wishes that he was Alexander McCall Smith or that nice blonde woman who writes about the wee laddie with the scar and the glasses, as that would mean to hell with poverty and let's throw another pea in the soup. But he still has to work and has now produced MAIR Edinbuggers Vs Weegies/MERR Weegies Vs Edinbuggers. This latest effusion is a completely new collection of anti-Weegie and anti-Edinbugger swedging, hard hits and sneaky bits from the West and East sides, sharp jibes and bludgeoning diatribes, including the slogan from a graffitti-covered wall in Glasgow's West End which avers that 'James Kelman likes fucking Edinburgh' and the one, possibly from Pilton, which claims 'Hugh MacDiarmid took sugar in his porridge'.You may find some reference to Shir Sean and the reason that he chose to support Celtic rather than Hearts or Hibs*, and you will find a list of things that you will never see in Edinburgh, but which have been personally observed by the author in the streets of Glasgow, starting with a Muslim woman in the full chador, Iranian Abaya-style, eyeslit only, pulling said eyeslit down so that she could blow a big bubble with her gum to amuse her toddler. But it is just friendly rivalry really, isn't it? To use the double positive negative, a figure of speech unique to Scotland: Aye, right. * It's because, as the Weegies so artlessly say: "He's a Fenian b******".

The Wee Book of Weegie Wit and Wisdom

Author: Ian Black
Publisher: Black & White Publishing
ISBN: 1845028589
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 84

Book Description
Weegies have long been known for the quickness of their wit and the sharpness of their tongues. But behind every surreal retort and casual, bloodthirsty threat, is there a hidden profundity? A deep philosophical stance? Aye right, maybe, aiblins, perhaps. It really doesn't matter when they're this funny. In Glasgow's DNA there is an inbuilt belief that making a fool of yourself is OK, as long as it gets a laugh, makes a buck, builds a better society of whatever. After all, nobody but a real fool never made a mistake and it's a well-known fact that Weegies do try harder and laugh louder. In Weegie Wit and Wisdom, find out why Glaswegians drink, the best threats and insults for every occasion and why the Weegie approach to life helps Glasgow consistently top the league as the UK's happiest city. Amusing and entertaining, with just the right amount of wit and wisdom, it's time to discover the secrets of the Weegie world.

Merr Weegies Vs. Mair Edinbuggers

Author: Ian Black
Publisher: Black & White Publishing
ISBN: 9781845020729
Category : Edinburgh (Scotland)
Languages : en
Pages : 160

Book Description
Ian Black has been called 'a best selling author' so many times that he is thinking of patenting the phrase and making his fortune that way, but he still wishes that he was Alexander McCall Smith or that nice blonde woman who writes about the wee laddie with the scar and the glasses, as that would mean to hell with poverty and let's throw another pea in the soup. But he still has to work and has now produced MAIR Edinbuggers Vs Weegies/MERR Weegies Vs Edinbuggers. This latest effusion is a completely new collection of anti-Weegie and anti-Edinbugger swedging, hard hits and sneaky bits from the West and East sides, sharp jibes and bludgeoning diatribes, including the slogan from a graffitti-covered wall in Glasgow's West End which avers that 'James Kelman likes fucking Edinburgh' and the one, possibly from Pilton, which claims 'Hugh MacDiarmid took sugar in his porridge'. You may find some reference to Shir Sean and the reason that he chose to support Celtic rather than Hearts or Hibs*, and you will find a list of things that you will never see in Edinburgh, but which have been personally observed by the author in the streets of Glasgow, starting with a Muslim woman in the full chador, Iranian Abaya-style, eyeslit only, pulling said eyeslit down so that she could blow a big bubble with her gum to amuse her toddler. But it is just friendly rivalry really, isn't it? To use the double positive negative, a figure of speech unique to Scotland: Aye, right.

Positive Thinking for Calvinists

Author: Ian Black
Publisher: Black & White Publishing
ISBN: 184502866X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 177

Book Description
Looking to escape the black cloak of your Calvinist heritage? Feeling dismally depressed by tomes of gloomy Scottish sayings? Need an umbrella against life's constant drizzle of pessimism? The look no further than Positive Thinking for Calvinists - The School of Soft Knox. We all know that the Scottish psyche is a complex creature, a victim of centuries of sackcloth and ashes. And when we look into the deep well of our Scottish souls we see the dark waters of Calvinism lying in wait. Definitely time for some positive thinking . . . So, if you've ever wondered if wool grows just as fast on lazy sheep, why hard work sometimes pays off in the future but indolence works this very minute and what exactly is the worst sort of Calvinist, then the answers are all here. And you might be surprised. You might even, God help us all, crack a smile or two dozen.

Edinbuggers Vs. Weegies

Author: Ian Black
Publisher: Black & White Publishing
ISBN: 9781902927923
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 148

Book Description
There's a slogan that Glaswegians use when talking about Edinburgh's world-famous joie de vivre: 'Edinburgh! A castle, a smile and a song...One out of three isn't bad.' Edinburghers retaliate by talking of why all the Wise Men come from the East and all the cowboys from the West. So we have the Far East, the Wild West and an apparently unbridgeable gulf in between, usually called Falkirk. These are the jokes, the songs and the stories of why citizens of these two great cities would rather take Osama bin Laden home for tea than a Weegie or an Edinbugger, citizens of no mean cities though they be. Except, of course, traditionally, there is no request to tea in Edinburgh, more of a statement delivered without a question mark, as in 'You'll have had your tea.' And 'pal' is the unfriendliest word there is in Glasgow. When a Glaswegian asks, 'Ur you lookin' at me, pal?', you would be very naive indeed to think of it as a question or that the deliverer is intent on making friends. It is, in fact, a statement meaning something like, 'Unless you come up with a smart reply sharpish, I'm going to attempt to remove your head from your shoulders with any weapon that comes to hand. Or my teeth.'There's nothing rational about it. Weegies know that all Edinburghers are just poncing about all day pretending to be flowers and waiting for dark to get up Calton Hill because, without exception, they like their vice versa. And Edinbuggers know that, in Weegie families, father, mother and sister often don't add up to three, but that they do keep their chibs sharp, whatever a chib might be. There are hard hits from both sides, sharp jibes and bludgeoning diatribes, but it's just friendly rivalry really. To use the double positive negative, a figure of speech unique to Scotland, 'Aye, right.'

Geordies vs. Mackems

Author: Ian Black
Publisher: Black & White Publishing
ISBN: 9781845022273
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 224

Book Description
The rivalry between the cities of Newcastle and Sunderland is one of the fiercest and longest standing in Britain. This book takes a look at the funny side of this enduring rivalry."

Scouser One-Liners

Author: Ian Black
Publisher: Black & White Publishing
ISBN: 9781845024901
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 160

Book Description
This is a collection of Scouseiana, the straightforward insults, the sly digs and the outright threats, culled from pubs and clubs city-wide by Ian Black, master of the quick sidestep, learned as he practised these gems.

Enemies and Neighbors

Author: Ian Black
Publisher: Atlantic Monthly Press
ISBN: 0802188796
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 578

Book Description
“Comprehensive and compelling...a landmark study” of the Arab-Zionist conflict, told from both sides, by the author of Israel’s Secret Wars (Sunday Times, UK). Setting the scene at the end of the nineteenth century, when the first Zionist settlers arrived in the Ottoman-ruled Holy Land, Black draws on a wide range of sources—from declassified documents to oral testimonies to his own vivid-on-the-ground reporting—to illuminate the most polarizing conflict of modern times. Beginning with the 1917 Balfour Declaration, in which the British government promised to favor the establishment of “a national home for the Jewish people” in Palestine, Black proceeds through the Arab Rebellion of the late 1930s, the Nazi Holocaust, Israel’s independence and the Palestinian Nakba (catastrophe), the watershed of 1967 followed by the Palestinian re-awakening, Israel’s settlement project, two Intifadas, the Oslo Accords, and continued negotiations and violence up to today. Combining engaging narrative with political analysis and social and cultural insights, Enemies and Neighbors is both an accessible overview and a fascinating investigation into the deeper truths of a furiously contested history.

Tales of the Tartan Army

Author: Ian Black
Publisher: Mainstream Publishing Company
ISBN: 9781840181173
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 200

Book Description
Tales of the Tartan Army is a glimpse into the occasionally surreal and often all-too-real ranks of a platoon of footsoldiers in the great and bravehearted Army's search to find a team to follow which is worthy of their support. These are the rampant guys and rare gals that you see screaming their allegiance in stadiums around the world, from Mexico to Croatia, via Iceland and Spain, usually imprisoned in a postage-stamp-sized section of the ground behind razor-wire, snarling security forces and killer dogs. These are the people who make Scotland famous the world over for their warmth, generosity and capacity for strong drink. They'll make you laugh and maybe once or twice they'll make you shed a furtive tear. Their clan slogan is 'We'll support you ever more! F*** the score!'. And once you've read about them, you'll want to join them. You'll be welcome.

Glasgow Urban Myths

Author: Ian Black
Publisher: Black & White Publishing
ISBN: 1845028627
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 93

Book Description
Urban myths. They could have happened anywhere, but you know they could all have happened in Glasgow. In this new collection of the best Glasgow urban myths, truth is often stranger than fiction, but can you work out which stories really did happen to a friend of a friend of an enemy of a friend of a friend? Glasgow urban myths, like the one about some Edinbuggers being occasionally pleasant, are as many and varied as Glaswegians themselves. And all the best are gathered in this collection of mirth and myth, like the one about the wasted willie and the pylon, or the one about the car thief and the opera tickets. Glasgow Urban Myths is full of all the hilarious stories that ever happened to a friend of a friend of an enemy of a friend of a friend in Glasgow - hard truths and blatant lies, albeit in a sort of hit and myth style, but you will laugh, and you will repeat them.