Author: Brad Gosse
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 26
Book Description
Dad goes out every night. After he and mommy fight. What he does we do not know. Mommy says he's with a hoe. Suddenly dad got a rash. Mommy can't stop talking trash. In the car and off we go. To the doctor, he must show. His penis has a strange red bump. The hookers are who he likes to hump. Now daddy has the HIV. A disease you can get sexually. Mom and dad no longer talk. Because dad can't contain his cock
Baa Baa Black Sheep
Author: Brad Gosse
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 26
Book Description
Baa baa black sheep please step out of the car. Yes sir yes sir please know I'm unarmed. Do you know why I stopped you today? Because of the fur color, I display? You match the description of a suspect I seek. Funny it's the 4th time to happen this week. I profiled you because you are black. And you drive a Mercedes which seems kinda whack. Either this car is stolen or you make too much money. A drug dealer or car thief and neither is funny. I need to justify this routine stop. So everyone thinks that I'm a good cop. For my safety Put your hands behind your back. Since I can't find anything I planted some crack.
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 26
Book Description
Baa baa black sheep please step out of the car. Yes sir yes sir please know I'm unarmed. Do you know why I stopped you today? Because of the fur color, I display? You match the description of a suspect I seek. Funny it's the 4th time to happen this week. I profiled you because you are black. And you drive a Mercedes which seems kinda whack. Either this car is stolen or you make too much money. A drug dealer or car thief and neither is funny. I need to justify this routine stop. So everyone thinks that I'm a good cop. For my safety Put your hands behind your back. Since I can't find anything I planted some crack.
Humpty Dumpty
Author: Brad Gosse
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 26
Book Description
Humpty Dumpty started a new job. Humpty Dumpty shows co- workers his knob. He makes jokes about sexual orientation. And emailed a co-worker with the subject: "Oral Fixation". He doesn't understand inappropriate touch. His secret Santa gifts are way too much. He's always suggesting awkward things. And gives people nicknames that really sting. He forwards emails that always offend. Always demanding Hugs that never seem to end. He makes offensive stereotypes when it comes to gender. When he gets in trouble he says he "didn't mean to offend her". His workplace activities are sexually inspired. And That's why Humpty Dumpty always gets fired.
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 26
Book Description
Humpty Dumpty started a new job. Humpty Dumpty shows co- workers his knob. He makes jokes about sexual orientation. And emailed a co-worker with the subject: "Oral Fixation". He doesn't understand inappropriate touch. His secret Santa gifts are way too much. He's always suggesting awkward things. And gives people nicknames that really sting. He forwards emails that always offend. Always demanding Hugs that never seem to end. He makes offensive stereotypes when it comes to gender. When he gets in trouble he says he "didn't mean to offend her". His workplace activities are sexually inspired. And That's why Humpty Dumpty always gets fired.
Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters
Author: Meg Meeker
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1596980370
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 290
Book Description
Inspiration for the motion picture streaming on Pure Flix! Drawing on her thirty years' experience practicing pediatric and adolescent medicine, teen health expert Dr. Meg Meeker explains why an active father figure is maybe the single most important factor in a young woman's development. In this invaluable guide, Meeker shows how a father can be both counsel and protector for his daughter as she grows into a spiritually and mentally strong young woman. From cradling his newborn to walking her down the aisle, a father must relish his paramount responsibility—guiding the course of his daughter’s life. Meeker reveals • how a man can become a "strong father" • how a father's guidance influences every part of a woman's life, from her self-respect to her perspective on drugs, alcohol, and sex • how to lay down ground rules that are respected without creating distance in your relationship with your daughter • why you need to be your daughter's hero • the mistakes most fathers make and their serious consequences • how to help daughters make their own good decisions and avoid disastrous mistakes • how a father's faith will influence his daughter's spiritual development • how to get through to you daughter, even during her toughest don't-talk-to-me years • true stories of daughters who were on the wrong path—and how their fathers helped to bring them back Learn how to grow, strengthen, or rebuild your relationship with your daughter to better both your life and hers in the bestselling Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know.
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1596980370
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 290
Book Description
Inspiration for the motion picture streaming on Pure Flix! Drawing on her thirty years' experience practicing pediatric and adolescent medicine, teen health expert Dr. Meg Meeker explains why an active father figure is maybe the single most important factor in a young woman's development. In this invaluable guide, Meeker shows how a father can be both counsel and protector for his daughter as she grows into a spiritually and mentally strong young woman. From cradling his newborn to walking her down the aisle, a father must relish his paramount responsibility—guiding the course of his daughter’s life. Meeker reveals • how a man can become a "strong father" • how a father's guidance influences every part of a woman's life, from her self-respect to her perspective on drugs, alcohol, and sex • how to lay down ground rules that are respected without creating distance in your relationship with your daughter • why you need to be your daughter's hero • the mistakes most fathers make and their serious consequences • how to help daughters make their own good decisions and avoid disastrous mistakes • how a father's faith will influence his daughter's spiritual development • how to get through to you daughter, even during her toughest don't-talk-to-me years • true stories of daughters who were on the wrong path—and how their fathers helped to bring them back Learn how to grow, strengthen, or rebuild your relationship with your daughter to better both your life and hers in the bestselling Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know.
Priestdaddy
Author: Patricia Lockwood
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 069818839X
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 352
Book Description
ONE OF THE NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW'S 10 BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR NAMED ONE OF THE 50 BEST MEMOIRS OF THE PAST 50 YEARS BY THE NEW YORK TIMES SELECTED AS A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR BY: The Washington Post * Elle * NPR * New York Magazine * Boston Globe * Nylon * Slate * The Cut * The New Yorker * Chicago Tribune WINNER OF THE THURBER PRIZE FOR AMERICAN HUMOR “Affectionate and very funny . . . wonderfully grounded and authentic. This book proves Lockwood to be a formidably gifted writer who can do pretty much anything she pleases.” – The New York Times Book Review From Booker Prize finalist Patricia Lockwood, author of the novel No One Is Talking About This, a vivid, heartbreakingly funny memoir about balancing identity with family and tradition. Father Greg Lockwood is unlike any Catholic priest you have ever met—a man who lounges in boxer shorts, loves action movies, and whose constant jamming on the guitar reverberates “like a whole band dying in a plane crash in 1972.” His daughter is an irreverent poet who long ago left the Church’s country. When an unexpected crisis leads her and her husband to move back into her parents’ rectory, their two worlds collide. In Priestdaddy, Lockwood interweaves emblematic moments from her childhood and adolescence—from an ill-fated family hunting trip and an abortion clinic sit-in where her father was arrested to her involvement in a cultlike Catholic youth group—with scenes that chronicle the eight-month adventure she and her husband had in her parents’ household after a decade of living on their own. Lockwood details her education of a seminarian who is also living at the rectory, tries to explain Catholicism to her husband, who is mystified by its bloodthirstiness and arcane laws, and encounters a mysterious substance on a hotel bed with her mother. Lockwood pivots from the raunchy to the sublime, from the comic to the deeply serious, exploring issues of belief, belonging, and personhood. Priestdaddy is an entertaining, unforgettable portrait of a deeply odd religious upbringing, and how one balances a hard-won identity with the weight of family and tradition.
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 069818839X
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 352
Book Description
ONE OF THE NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW'S 10 BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR NAMED ONE OF THE 50 BEST MEMOIRS OF THE PAST 50 YEARS BY THE NEW YORK TIMES SELECTED AS A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR BY: The Washington Post * Elle * NPR * New York Magazine * Boston Globe * Nylon * Slate * The Cut * The New Yorker * Chicago Tribune WINNER OF THE THURBER PRIZE FOR AMERICAN HUMOR “Affectionate and very funny . . . wonderfully grounded and authentic. This book proves Lockwood to be a formidably gifted writer who can do pretty much anything she pleases.” – The New York Times Book Review From Booker Prize finalist Patricia Lockwood, author of the novel No One Is Talking About This, a vivid, heartbreakingly funny memoir about balancing identity with family and tradition. Father Greg Lockwood is unlike any Catholic priest you have ever met—a man who lounges in boxer shorts, loves action movies, and whose constant jamming on the guitar reverberates “like a whole band dying in a plane crash in 1972.” His daughter is an irreverent poet who long ago left the Church’s country. When an unexpected crisis leads her and her husband to move back into her parents’ rectory, their two worlds collide. In Priestdaddy, Lockwood interweaves emblematic moments from her childhood and adolescence—from an ill-fated family hunting trip and an abortion clinic sit-in where her father was arrested to her involvement in a cultlike Catholic youth group—with scenes that chronicle the eight-month adventure she and her husband had in her parents’ household after a decade of living on their own. Lockwood details her education of a seminarian who is also living at the rectory, tries to explain Catholicism to her husband, who is mystified by its bloodthirstiness and arcane laws, and encounters a mysterious substance on a hotel bed with her mother. Lockwood pivots from the raunchy to the sublime, from the comic to the deeply serious, exploring issues of belief, belonging, and personhood. Priestdaddy is an entertaining, unforgettable portrait of a deeply odd religious upbringing, and how one balances a hard-won identity with the weight of family and tradition.
Ugly Love
Author: Colleen Hoover
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476753199
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 336
Book Description
From Colleen Hoover, the #1 New York Times bestselling author of It Starts with Us and It Ends with Us, a heart-wrenching love story that proves attraction at first sight can be messy. When Tate Collins meets airline pilot Miles Archer, she doesn't think it's love at first sight. They wouldn’t even go so far as to consider themselves friends. The only thing Tate and Miles have in common is an undeniable mutual attraction. Once their desires are out in the open, they realize they have the perfect set-up. He doesn’t want love, she doesn’t have time for love, so that just leaves the sex. Their arrangement could be surprisingly seamless, as long as Tate can stick to the only two rules Miles has for her. Never ask about the past. Don’t expect a future. They think they can handle it, but realize almost immediately they can’t handle it at all. Hearts get infiltrated. Promises get broken. Rules get shattered. Love gets ugly.
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476753199
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 336
Book Description
From Colleen Hoover, the #1 New York Times bestselling author of It Starts with Us and It Ends with Us, a heart-wrenching love story that proves attraction at first sight can be messy. When Tate Collins meets airline pilot Miles Archer, she doesn't think it's love at first sight. They wouldn’t even go so far as to consider themselves friends. The only thing Tate and Miles have in common is an undeniable mutual attraction. Once their desires are out in the open, they realize they have the perfect set-up. He doesn’t want love, she doesn’t have time for love, so that just leaves the sex. Their arrangement could be surprisingly seamless, as long as Tate can stick to the only two rules Miles has for her. Never ask about the past. Don’t expect a future. They think they can handle it, but realize almost immediately they can’t handle it at all. Hearts get infiltrated. Promises get broken. Rules get shattered. Love gets ugly.
Daddy Drinks
Author: Brad Gosse
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781077291454
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 106
Book Description
For mature audiences only. Not for the easily offended! A hilarious look at children's books. I've designed book covers for 100 kids books that should never be published. With great titles like: Mom Can't Afford Car Payments, Dad Lost the House, Daddy's Moving Away, Daddy Committed Wire Fraud, Jesus Needs Mommy in Heaven, Mommy Killed Herself, How Daddy Got an STD, Why Daddy Hits Mommy, Mommy Turns Tricks, Don't Trust the Clown on 5th, My Dad the Junkie, Your Art Sucks, No Dinner Tonight, I'm Not Your Father, Don't Bathe With Uncle Joe, Don't Start Fires, Billy Starts a Pile-Up, Sleep Time for Mr. Mittens, Three Little Pigs Become Bacon, Don't Interrupt Group, Capital Punishment, Mom Joined an MLM, Kid Detective, Mom, Dad, Sarah and Don, Mom's Essential Oil's, My Parents and Siblings, Your Life Is a Lie and many more. The covers illustrated in in this book are a light hearted look at a difficult childhood. Try not to find yourself triggered by the one or two things that you decide are offensive. I can't be funny if I have to worry about you.
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781077291454
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 106
Book Description
For mature audiences only. Not for the easily offended! A hilarious look at children's books. I've designed book covers for 100 kids books that should never be published. With great titles like: Mom Can't Afford Car Payments, Dad Lost the House, Daddy's Moving Away, Daddy Committed Wire Fraud, Jesus Needs Mommy in Heaven, Mommy Killed Herself, How Daddy Got an STD, Why Daddy Hits Mommy, Mommy Turns Tricks, Don't Trust the Clown on 5th, My Dad the Junkie, Your Art Sucks, No Dinner Tonight, I'm Not Your Father, Don't Bathe With Uncle Joe, Don't Start Fires, Billy Starts a Pile-Up, Sleep Time for Mr. Mittens, Three Little Pigs Become Bacon, Don't Interrupt Group, Capital Punishment, Mom Joined an MLM, Kid Detective, Mom, Dad, Sarah and Don, Mom's Essential Oil's, My Parents and Siblings, Your Life Is a Lie and many more. The covers illustrated in in this book are a light hearted look at a difficult childhood. Try not to find yourself triggered by the one or two things that you decide are offensive. I can't be funny if I have to worry about you.
Beautiful Disaster Signed Limited Edition
Author: Jamie McGuire
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476719071
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 416
Book Description
Abby Abernathy is re-inventing herself as the good girl as she begins her freshman year at college, which is why she must resist lean, cut, and tattooed Travis Maddox, a classic bad boy.
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476719071
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 416
Book Description
Abby Abernathy is re-inventing herself as the good girl as she begins her freshman year at college, which is why she must resist lean, cut, and tattooed Travis Maddox, a classic bad boy.
Dad
Author: Mifflin Lowe
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781733633567
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 32
Book Description
Dad: The Man, The Myth, The Legend is an epic--and totally unexaggerated--tale for dads everywhere! Heroic, hilarious, and heartwarming, it's the sweet saga of Dad: protector, provider, and child's best friend.
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781733633567
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 32
Book Description
Dad: The Man, The Myth, The Legend is an epic--and totally unexaggerated--tale for dads everywhere! Heroic, hilarious, and heartwarming, it's the sweet saga of Dad: protector, provider, and child's best friend.