Do Ants Have Assholes?

Author: Jon Butler
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
ISBN: 1402247397
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 194

Book Description
"Every year, one funny book seems to stand out from all the others. This year, it's Do Ants Have [Assholes]?…a rip-roaring parody" Spectator "The book being touted as this year's can't-miss, downstairs-loo-fixture of a dead-cert publishing-phenomenon-sensation" Guardian "A very funny spoof of pop-science collections" Daily Telegraph A venerable and historic newspaper, the Old Geezer is read and respected by the world's most conscientious, upright citizens. When these beacons of respectability have serious questions, they turn to the Old Geezer's "Questions and Answers" page. Do Ants Have Assholes? collects the enlightening answers to thought-provoking questions such as: If you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant, what do you do? How many men would it take to kill an elephant with their bare hands? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown? Are "crabs" related to crabs? What if there were no hypothetical questions?

Do Ants Have Arseholes?

Author: Jon Butler
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : Questions and answers
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Provides a very funny, very silly collection of answers to questions you never thought you wanted to ask, but will feel all the better for knowing.

Do Bats Have Bollocks?

Author: Jon Butler
Publisher: Sphere
ISBN: 0748111042
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 174

Book Description
The letters page of Old Git magazine continues to offer its readers an opportunity to ask and provide answers to the most pressing questions of our times. Questions such as: Would it help global warming if I left my fridge door open? What's the riskiest game of risk ever played? If I fell down a disused mineshaft would Lassie really run and get help, or just sit there licking his balls? Do Bats Have Bollocks? features a host of completely new and untrue questions and answers. With bags more rude jokes, shaggy dog stories and the odd entry from a new, bewildered editor who's wondering what the hell he's got himself into, this book is every bit as laugh-out-loud funny as last year's hugely successful volume Do Ants Have Arseholes?

Ascent of the A-Word

Author: Geoffrey Nunberg
Publisher: PublicAffairs
ISBN: 1610391764
Category : Language Arts & Disciplines
Languages : en
Pages : 274

Book Description
It first surfaced in the gripes of GIs during World War II and was captured early on by the typewriter of a young Norman Mailer. Within a generation it had become a basic notion of our everyday moral life, replacing older reproaches like lout and heel with a single inclusive category -- a staple of country outlaw songs, Neil Simon plays, and Woody Allen movies. Feminists made it their stock rebuke for male insensitivity, the est movement used it for those who didn't "get it," and Dirty Harry applied it evenhandedly to both his officious superiors and the punks he manhandled. The asshole has become a focus of collective fascination for us, just as the phony was for Holden Caulfield and the cad was for Anthony Trollope. From Donald Trump to Ann Coulter, from Mel Gibson to Anthony Weiner, from the reality TV prima donnas to the internet trolls and flamers, assholism has become the characteristic form of modern incivility, which implicitly expresses our deepest values about class, relationships, authenticity, and fairness. We have conflicting attitudes about the A-word -- when a presidential candidate unwittingly uttered it on a live mic in 2000, it confirmed to some that he was a man of the people and to others that he was a boor. But considering how much the word does for us, and to us, it hasn't gotten nearly the attention it deserves -- at least until now.

NB by J. C.: A Walk through the Times Literary Supplement

Author: James Campbell
Publisher: Paul Dry Books
ISBN: 1589881753
Category : Literary Criticism
Languages : en
Pages : 391

Book Description
NB by J. C., a collection of James Campbell’s best columns from the TLS, is a guide to the literary pleasures and absurdities of the past two decades. For over twenty years, James Campbell wrote the popular NB column on the back page of The Times Literary Supplement, signing it “J. C.” The initials were not intended as a disguise, but to provide freedom to the persona. “J. C.” was irreverent, whimsical, occasionally severe. The column had a low tolerance for the literary sins of pomposity, hypocrisy, and cant. It took aim at contemporary absurdities resulting from identity politics or from academic jargon. Readers of NB by J. C. will find not only an off-beat guide to our cultural times, but entries from The TLS Reviewer’s Handbook, which offered regular advice on the cultivation of a good writing style. “Above all, aspire to the Three E’s: elegance, eloquence, and entertainment.” The Introduction offers a history of the TLS from its beginnings through its precarious stages of adaptation and survival. “The secret of J. C.’s weekly column is its unique mix of anonymity with intimacy: this ‘stranger’, whom we meet over our morning coffee, is the most discreet and delightful of guides to what’s happening―good or mostly bad―in the literary world, with all its pretensions, follies, and occasional triumphs. I especially relished J. C.’s prizes―for the worst prose or the silliest blurb. Then again, leave it to J. C. to find the rare edition, the forgotten book of poems that deserves another look. True wit, coupled with wisdom: it’s the rarest of writerly feats.”―Marjorie Perloff, author of The Vienna Paradox: A Memoir “I receive immense pleasure from J. C.’s columns. Something more than pleasure: warmth, laughter, gratitude (especially when he is nailing academic unreadability).”—Vivian Gornick, author of Unfinished Business: Notes of a Chronic Re-Reader "For many years, Campbell appeared each week in the Times Literary Supplement, where his back-page essay—ironic, bookish and irresistibly entertaining—was every subscriber’s favorite feature."—Michael Dirda, Washington Post, on James Campbell's NB column

Fairy Tales for Millennials

Author: Bruno Vincent
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0241424453
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 176

Book Description
Welcome to the world of Fairy Tales, Millennial style... Inside you'll find Sleeping Beauty waking up Woke, the Billy Goats Gruff getting trolled, and three little pigs explaining that - realistically - a house of straw is really the only way a first time buyer can get on the housing market. Goldilocks discovers a darling little Porridge pop-up, the Pied Piper shifts his content strategy to attract more followers, and Hansel and Gretel meet a witch whose house is built of Avocado Toast.

Five Go Absolutely Nowhere

Author: Bruno Vincent
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1529412102
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 72

Book Description
'Ah! This is the dream!' says Julian one morning. 'With good old British common sense and community spirit like this, there's no reason that we couldn't exist on the island like this for the rest of our days!' What could possibly go wrong . . .? Anne has gathered Julian, Dick, George and, of course, Timmy, together for a last nostalgic jaunt in the countryside together before grown-up responsibilities take the four cousins off in different directions. It's only natural that they find their way onto Kirrin Island for a look around, as this might be the last time they're here together as a group. They are planning just to spend the night there and come home the next day, perhaps with a little exploring in the dungeon for old time's sake. But that night they hear the country has gone into lockdown. They are not allowed to leave. With their usual resourcefulness, they are determined to make the best of it, and remain cheerful and healthy. As Anne keeps saying: They're lucky, really, to have all this countryside and fresh air at their disposal!

Five Forget Mother's Day

Author: Bruno Vincent
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1786486873
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 75

Book Description
Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to show Aunt Fanny how much she means to them. Join Julian, George, Dick, Anne and Timmy the dog as they try to celebrate Mother's Day with Aunt Fanny. George has past form in forgetting - not least her mum's birthday and Christmas presents - so tensions are running high even for the charged normality of their mother/daughter bond. But things go from bad to worse when Fanny comes to stay, with relations strained almost to breaking point. Can the Five save the day, and will Uncle Quentin get involved?

Five Give Up the Booze

Author: Bruno Vincent
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1786482274
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 78

Book Description
Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront a new challenge: give up the booze. Give up alcohol you say? Why, of course they can! Talk about an easy challenge! Five old friends set about this simple task and find all of a sudden that: the days are longer; they get to see each other for who they really are; the empty laughter of ordinary conversation is so much harder to fake. Yes, they're saving money and losing weight, but the world itself seems to take on a slow, dreary inevitability. Soon they begin to snap at each other, and then fight - until they begin to wonder, have the Five at last found the challenge that will defeat them? The perfect gift for anyone who has woken up and promised themselves that they will never drink again. Or at least until next weekend.

The Secret Diary of Mario Balotelli

Author: Bruno Vincent
Publisher: Sphere
ISBN: 1405516097
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 136

Book Description
'He's a total rock 'n' roller. There's a bit of Mario in all of us - well, maybe not Gary Neville - but the rest of us most definitely.' Noel Gallagher He may be football's latest superstar, but Mario Balotelli is just as famous off the pitch for his eccentricity and extraordinary antics. From the time he let off fireworks in his bathroom to the notorious bib incident, he's rarely out of the news. But in his secret diary*, as we follow Mario through one turbulent football season and the trail of mayhem he leaves in his wake, we discover that the headlines only tell half the story. Whether he's hiding Silvio Berlusconi in his basement, patrolling the streets of Manchester as a caped crusader or trying to be the first Premiership footballer to go to the moon, the truth is stranger, and much funnier, than we could have expected. *not the actual diary of Mario Balotelli