Woodworking Jokes

Woodworking Jokes PDF Author: The Editors of Woodezine
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780999781906
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 120

Book Description
Here's the perfect gift for the woodworker in your life. It's full of groaners, very clean, and is an excellent excuse to procrastinate instead of making sawdust.

Carpenters Joke Book

Carpenters Joke Book PDF Author: Chester Croker
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781794474826
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 48

Book Description
If you're looking for carpenter jokes and funny carpentry jokes you've certainly come to the right place. You won't be board with these carpentry jokes. Leaf your phone alone for a while and enjoy these plane and simple carpentry puns and gags, there's simply no need for a splinter group for these carpenter puns and gags. Some of them are old, but some of them are new, and while we don't want to hammer the point too much, we think these jokes will hit the nail on the head. We hope you enjoy our bumper collection of the very best carpenter jokes and stories.

The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad

The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad PDF Author: Shannon Carpenter
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0143135643
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 273

Book Description
A practical guide for modern-day parenting geared towards stay-at-home dads, offering advice on everything from learning to cook and clean with children, to dealing with mental health and relationships and addressing male loneliness, with the easygoing perspective that dads can use their natural talents to parent any way that they choose. The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad manual takes the best advice and wisdom from a dads' group, and puts it into a format to help new stay-at-home fathers. Characterized by actionable and direct advice to fathers, the book takes on parenting from a father's point of view and encourages dads to use their natural talents to become a better parent. That advice is further bolstered by an additional 57 other dads who also give advice. All this advice is framed by the author's personal stories, which help the reader connect with the content and drives the advice home. This is a book that takes on day-to-day parenting, not just as a stay-at-home dad--working fathers could benefit from this book as much as at-home dads.

Best Joke Book Ever

Best Joke Book Ever PDF Author: Charles Keller
Publisher: Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.
ISBN: 9781402723735
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 104

Book Description
Watch out--more than 600 of the world's funniest jokes and most hilarious cartoons are about to attack your funny bone--and you won't be able to stop giggling! Who could resist these?Judge: I thought I told you I didn't want to see you in my court again.Prisoner: I told the policeman, but he didn't believe me. First friend: They say you become what you eat.Second friend: Let's order something rich. Doctor, I feel funny today--what should I do?Become a comedian. These jokes are sure to be tops with class clowns everywhere.

The Best Ever Book of Woodworker Jokes

The Best Ever Book of Woodworker Jokes PDF Author: Mark Geoffrey Young
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781477599341
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 106

Book Description
The Best Ever Book of Woodworker Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Woodworker jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Woodworker Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Woodworker Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Woodworker joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Woodworker jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Woodworkers wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Woodworker and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Woodworker brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Woodworker who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Woodworkers laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Pretty Good Joke Book

Pretty Good Joke Book PDF Author: Garrison Keillor
Publisher: Blackstone Publishing
ISBN:
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages :

Book Description
Over 2,200 Jokes from America’s favorite live radio show A treasury of hilarity from Garrison Keillor and the cast of public radio’s A Prairie Home Companion. A guy walks into a bar. Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. A termite jumps up on the bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?” Drum roll. The Sixth Edition of the perennially popular Pretty Good Joke Book is everything the first five were and more. More puns, one-liners, light bulb jokes, knock-knock jokes, and third-grader jokes (have you heard the one about Elvis Parsley?). More religion jokes, political jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes, and jokes in questionable taste (Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers). More jokes about chickens, relationships, and senior moments (the nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you can enjoy the same jokes again and again). It all started back in 1996, when A Prairie Home Companion fans laughed themselves silly during the first Joke Show. The broadcast was such a hit that it became an almost-annual gagfest. Then fans wanted to read the jokes, share them, and pass them around, and the first Pretty Good Joke Book was born. With over 200 new and updated jokes, the latest edition promises countless giggles, chortles, and guffaws anyone—fans of the radio show or not—will enjoy.

The Most Ginormous Joke Book Ever

The Most Ginormous Joke Book Ever PDF Author: Cider Mill Press
Publisher: Applesauce Press
ISBN: 1400340799
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 529

Book Description
"From silly wordplay to treacherous tongue twisters, this humongous book has something for every kind of jokester. Never get tired of the same old jokes again. Jam packed with thousands of the funniest jokes, these goofy gags will have kids rolling on the floor with laughter." --

P Is for Pterodactyl

P Is for Pterodactyl PDF Author: Raj Haldar
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
ISBN: 1492695335
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 35

Book Description
A New York Times Bestseller! A "raucous trip through the odd corners of our alphabet." —The New York Times Let's get real—the English language is bizarre. A might be for apple, but it's also for aisle and aeons. Why does the word "gnat" start with a G but the word "knot" doesn't start with an N? It doesn't always make sense, but don't let these rule-breaking silent letters defeat you! This whimsical, funky book from Raj Haldar (aka rapper Lushlife) turns the traditional idea of an alphabet book on its head, poking fun at the most mischievous words in the English language and demonstrating how to pronounce them. Fun and informative for word nerds of all ages!

Good Clean Fun

Good Clean Fun PDF Author: Nick Offerman
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101984651
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 354

Book Description
After two New York Times bestsellers, Nick Offerman—woodworker, actor, comedian, and co-host of NBC’s crafting competition series Making It—returns with the subject for which he’s known best—his incredible real-life woodshop. Nestled among the glitz and glitter of Tinseltown is a testament to American elbow grease and an honest-to-god hard day’s work: Offerman Woodshop. Captained by hirsute woodworker, actor, comedian, and writer Nick Offerman, the shop produces not only fine handcrafted furniture, but also fun stuff—kazoos, baseball bats, ukuleles, mustache combs, even cedar-strip canoes. Now Nick and his ragtag crew of champions want to share their experience of working at the Woodshop, tell you all about their passion for the discipline of woodworking, and teach you how to make a handful of their most popular projects along the way. This book takes readers behind the scenes of the woodshop, both inspiring and teaching them to make their own projects and besotting them with the infectious spirit behind the shop and its complement of dusty wood-elves. In these pages you will find a variety of projects for every skill level, with personal, easy-to-follow instructions by the OWS woodworkers themselves; and, what’s more, this tutelage is augmented by mouth-watering color photos (Nick calls it "wood porn"). You will also find writings by Nick, offering recipes for both comestibles and mirth, humorous essays, odes to his own woodworking heroes, insights into the ethos of woodworking in modern America, and other assorted tomfoolery. Whether you’ve been working in your own shop for years, or if holding this stack of compressed wood pulp is as close as you’ve ever come to milling lumber, or even if you just love Nick Offerman’s brand of bucolic yet worldly wisdom, you’ll find Good Clean Fun full of useful, illuminating, and entertaining information.

Open and Shut

Open and Shut PDF Author: David Rosenfelt
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 0446551074
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 230

Book Description
Edgar-award nominated author David Rosenfelt's hilarious hero, Andy Carpenter, takes on a high-profile murder case, with his favorite golden retriever, Tara, by his side--now with a new cover look. Whether dueling with new forensics or the local old boys' network, irreverent defense attorney Andy Carpenter always leaves them awed with his biting wit and winning fourth-quarter game plan. But Andy prefers the company of his best friend, Tara, to the people he encounters in the courtroom. Tara, a golden retriever, is clearly smarter than half the lawyers who clog the courts of PassaicCounty. However, just as it seems Andy has everything figured out, his dad, New Jersey's legendary ex-D.A., drops dead in front of him at a game in Yankee Stadium. The shocks pile on as he discovers his dad left him with two unexpected legacies: a fortune of $22 million that Andy never knew existed . . . and a murder case with enough racial tinder to burn down City Hall. Struggling to serve justice and bring honor to his father, Andy must dig up some explosive political skeletons--and an astonishing family secret that can close his case (and his mouth) for good.
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