Mock the Week

Author: Dan Patterson
Publisher: Boxtree
ISBN: 1743032196
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 229

Book Description
Mock The Week: 1001 Scenes We'd Like To See is the funniest, rudest book of the summer, packed with enough one-liners to fill a whole new series. If you've ever wondered what would be a bad thing to say at a state banquet, or need advice on slogans you shouldn't have tattooed on your arse, then this book will prove invaluable. Collecting together the best one-liners from two bestselling Mock the Week books, categories include: UNSUCCESSFUL PERSONAL ADS: Companion required for long sessions of Sudoku. No timewasters. GREETINGS CARDS THAT WOULDN'T SELL: Sorry About Your Face. UNLIKELY MEDICAL LABELS: May cause diarrhoea, dysentery, flatulence, piles and other hilarious bottom-related ailments. UNLIKELY CROSSWORD CLUES: Apricot knee Simon - well a nun might if the Zeppelin has grown its own Byzantium (16,8) LINES YOU'D NEVER SEE IN A JAMES BOND BOOK: '"James, he's using the diamonds to divert a giant laser onto New York from outer space." Bond took the bottle out of M's shaking hand and helped her off the floor into bed.'

Mock the Week

Author: Dara O Briain
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781860513664
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :

Book Description

Mock the Week: Brand Spanking New Scenes We'd Like to See

Author: Dan Patterson
Publisher: Boxtree
ISBN: 174353471X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 254

Book Description
Modern life is a minefield. Fortunately, the creators of Mock the Week are here to give you advice on the important things in life: from office etiquette to camping holidays, the worst things to hear while sitting on the toilet - and what not to say when passing through Customs . . . Categories include: Unlikely Things to Hear at a Funeral: 'Could whoever that is stop knocking, I'm trying to do the Eulogy!' Unlikely Things to Say on Your First Day in Prison: 'How thoughtful! Someone's left a bucket of chocolate mousse in the corner of my cell.' Guide to Keeping Tropical Fish: For a special treat, pour a smoothie slowly into the fish tank. They love that. Mountaineering Tips: Try to make sure you are accompanied by an experienced mountaineer or, failing that, someone really fat who will make for a soft landing. Medical Self-Diagnosis: If it comes out faster than gravity would normally allow, then there's something wrong.

Surpassing Certainty

Author: Janet Mock
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501145797
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 256

Book Description
The writer, TV host, and advocate examines her life and career, including the challenges of being trans, a woman, and a person of color.

The Now Show Book

Author: Steve Punt
Publisher: Orion
ISBN: 1409138267
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 189

Book Description
The must-have look at the world from the team behind Radio 4's THE NOW SHOW. THE NOW SHOW BOOK boldly tackles all the superlatives that other books avoid. It does this by means of making stuff up and scrupulously avoiding too much research, insight, or fact. Unless the fact is funnier. And legal to mention. Split into illuminating subject sections, categories include: Biggest Scare Story Worst Political Gaffe Most Hated Corporate Jargon Most Annoying Recorded Announcement Most Stressful Special Occasion Most Baffling Commercial Most Inaccurate Weather Forecast - and many more! With Marcus Brigstocke and Mitch Benn adding their own fine touches, this book is a fascinating, engrossing - and brilliantly entertaining - look at the modern world ...

James Acaster's Classic Scrapes - The Hilarious Sunday Times Bestseller

Author: James Acaster
Publisher: Headline
ISBN: 1472247205
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 288

Book Description
**THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER** 'I don't think I've ever read a book that has made me cry with laughter as much as this one. It was very difficult reading it in public as I looked like a madman' - Richard Herring James Acaster has been nominated for the Edinburgh Comedy Award five times and has appeared on prime-time TV shows like TASKMASTER,MOCK THE WEEK, LIVE AT THE APOLLO and WOULD I LIE TO YOU? But behind the fame and critical acclaim is a man perpetually getting into trouble. Whether it's disappointing a skydiving instructor mid-flight, hiding from thugs in a bush wearing a bright red dress, or annoying the Kettering Board Games club, a didgeridoo-playing conspiracy theorist and some bemused Christians, James is always finding new ways to embarrass himself. Appearing on Josh Widdicombe's radio show to recount these stories, the feature was christened 'James Acaster's classic scrapes'. Here, in his first book, James recounts these tales (including never-before-heard stories) along with self-penned drawings, in all their glorious stupidity.

Mock the Week

Author: Dan Patterson
Publisher: Boxtree
ISBN: 9781447260806
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 240

Book Description
Scenes We'd Like to See is the very first Mock the Week book, published to coincide with the sixth series of the hit BBC2 comedy show. From gloriously rude 'Unfortunate names for race horses' to 'Unlikely personal ads' and lines that (sadly) never appeared in the Harry Potter books, Mock the Week: Scenes We'd Like to See is the fastest, funniest read of the year: a bumper book of all-new razor-sharp one-liners, including: UNLIKELY MEDICAL LABELS: No rabbits were harmed during the testing of this product - but the rats were less lucky. GREETINGS CARDS THAT WOULDN'T SELL: Happy New Breasts! UNLIKELY HOROSCOPES: You will go to your bedroom window and stand there naked for a minute, you will do this especially if your name is Mrs Hughes and you live at 56, The Avenue, Clapham...around 3.30 would be best for me. UNLIKELY LINES FROM A NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK: 'I've turned my cock into a frog!' squealed Ron in terror.

Pundamentalist

Author: Gary Delaney
Publisher: Headline
ISBN: 1472277449
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 118

Book Description
'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .

To Mock a Mockingbird

Author: Raymond M. Smullyan
Publisher: Oxford University Press, USA
ISBN: 0192801422
Category : Games & Activities
Languages : en
Pages : 258

Book Description
The author of Forever Undecided, Raymond Smullyan continues to delight and astonish us with his gift for making available, in the thoroughly pleasurable form of puzzles, some of the most important mathematical thinking of our time.

My Shit Life So Far

Author: Frankie Boyle
Publisher: HarperCollins UK
ISBN: 0007324626
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 28

Book Description
Ever since being brought up by The Beatles, Frankie Boyle has been a tremendous liar. Join him on his adventures with his chum Clangy The Brass Boy and laugh as he doesn’t accidentally kill a student nurse when a party gets out of hand.