Stupidest Things Ever Said

Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
ISBN: 0761168680
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 241

Book Description
Not just stupidity, but obsessive stupidity! Not just random stupidity, but organized stupidity! Here, from the celebrated collectors of the stupidest things ever said, it’s the cre`me de la cre`me of stupidities, made even funnier and more compelling in an irresistible top 10 list format. Try one: The Top 10 Stupidest Actual Book Titles: 1. A Toddler’s Guide to the Rubber Industry 2. Constipation and our Civilization 3. Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers 4. The Secret of Sphincters 5. A Pictorial Book of Tongue Coating 6. Life and Laughter ’midst the Cannibals 7. Be Bold With Bananas 8. Hand-Grenade Throwing as a College Sport 9. Collect Fungi on Stamps 10. A Study of Hospital Waiting Lists in Cardiff, 1953–1954 Plus lost-in-translation moments. Doubles entendres. Political speeches, foreign menus, traffic signs. Celebrities on literature, on homelessness, on revealing too much about themselves. Mangled cliche ́s and bizarre analogies, the wit of the witless and comedy of the clueless—never before have so many said something so dumb, now in one book.

Stupidest Things Ever Said

Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Workman Publishing
ISBN: 0761165916
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 242

Book Description
Presents a series of humorous lists on such topics as things to say to an alien, least complimentary compliments, and impossible-to-follow instructions.

The Stupidest Sports Book of All Time

Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
ISBN: 1523501979
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 289

Book Description
The thrill of victory, the agony of a tight jockstrap. It’s the reason we love sports—you never know what’s going to happen. Sometimes everything clicks, with the best athlete in the world competing at their peak, and the result is a thing of breathtaking beauty. But sometimes the opposite happens, resulting in moments of breathtaking hilarity, or astonishing inanity, or just plain head-scratching puzzlement. Welcome to The Stupidest Sports Book of All Time. Featuring: The most boring games in sports history Wise(ish) words on winning Stupid mascot antics The strangest things coaches have done to motivate teams And much, much more!

The Dumbest Things Ever Said

Author: Steven D. Price
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN: 1493029436
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 353

Book Description
A collection of stupid utterances, mostly unintentional--although not always--from politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can put their feet in their mouths. Based on recorded history, it's safe to say that dumb remarks have been with us since the invention of writing. Young or old, rich or poor, famous or unknown, people of all generations and cultures have seized the opportunity to say something dumb - stupidity has always been an equal opportunity employer. In celebration of such mental lapses and pure idiocy, here is a collection of stupid utterances, unintentional and otherwise, from the worlds of politics, radio, television, newspapers, show business, sports, and literature - and everywhere else people can - and have - put their feet in their mouths.

The Anthology of Really Important Modern Poetry

Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
ISBN: 0761171169
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 273

Book Description
Required reading from great poets of our time. Drew Barrymore: “Upon Pondering Breasts.” Tom Cruise: “An Exegesis on Psychiatry.” Ann Coulter: “My Kind of Fun.” And Trump and Sheen and Snooki, John Boehner and Michelle Bachman, Miley and Ke$ha. Hugo Chavez. Even a Zen haiku by Emmitt Smith: I think it’s his self- confidence in himself that makes him confident. With their great gift for curating the inane public utterances of celebrities, politicians, and other self-important loudmouths, Kathryn and Ross Petras offer a timeless collection of “found” poetry—real quotes formatted as verse for hilarious and surprising effect. The quotes are inherently addictive and funny—but turning them into verse intensifies the effect, making the words even more ridiculous, parodies to revel in. And the Petrases take it one step further: organizing the poems by themes, introducing each work with a Norton Anthology mock seriousness, discussing “schools,” and larding the text with footnotes, The Anthology of Really Important Modern Poetry is pure deadpan pleasure. A whiff of Emily Dickinson in Ann Coulter? It’s literary treasure, right under our noses.

The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said

Author: Ross Petras
Publisher: Main Street Books
ISBN: 0307764621
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 242

Book Description
A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips, spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous and infamous figures past and present -- a complete course in anti-eloquence by the foot-in-mouth champions of all time.

Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives

Author: Laura Schlessinger
Publisher: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
ISBN: 9780060929442
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 324

Book Description
For every woman who wants to know what her man is thinking. Internationally syndicated radio superhost and columnist, controversial psycho-therapist, and author of the break-out New York Times bestsellers How Could You Do That?! and Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Dr. Laura Schlessinger is back with Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives. In ten vital, compelling chapters, Dr. Laura speaks her mind on: Stupid Chivalry By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save/transform her. Stupid Independence Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex. Stupid Ambition Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power, and status. Stupid Strength Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive-aggressiveness to regain control. Stupid Sex Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign," you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms. Stupid Matrimony Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to "fix it." Stupid Husbanding Thinking that marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you were single and your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything else. Stupid Parenting Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true "soul food" of a child's hug. Stupid Boyishness Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy. Stupid Machismo Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.

The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said

Author: Ross Petras
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781854797155
Category : Quotations
Languages : en
Pages : 181

Book Description

35 Dumb Things Well-Intended People Say

Author: Maura Cullen
Publisher: Wordclay
ISBN: 1600374913
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 160

Book Description
EVEN WELL-INTENDED PEOPLE CAN CAUSE HARM Have you ever heard yourself or someone else say: ""Some of my best friends are... (Black, White, Asian, etc.)""? ""I don't think of you as... (Gay, Disabled, Jewish, etc.)""? ""I don't see color, I'm colorblind""? These statements and dozens like them can build a divide between us and the people we interact with. Though well-intended, they often widen the diversity gap sometimes causing irreparable harm personally and professionally. If you've ever wanted to be more effective in your communication with others, or have been afraid of saying the wrong thing, then this concise guide is essential to becoming more inclusive and diversity-smart. A POWERFUL DIVERSITY TRAINING TOOL FROM ONE OF THE MOST RESPECTED DIVERSITY TRAINERS.

Milk Eggs Vodka

Author: Bill Keaggy
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1440312052
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 390

Book Description
If we are what we eat, then this book reveals deep truths about the average American (not to mention more mundane truths like a surprising number of people enjoy onions, and for most people, mayonnaise is very, very difficult to spell). Milk, Eggs, Vodka is a celebration of the humble grocery list. Almost anyone will find themselves engrossed in this voyeuristic look into everyday life—less than healthy lists, lists for parties, lists with personal and often odd annotations on them...and the list of lists goes on. Besides over 150 found lists, the book also includes short essays on collecting, shopping, eating, and list making. Some of the lists will even include recipes that can be made from the ingredients on the list!