How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

Author: Zachary Auburn
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0451494938
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 146

Book Description
The cats of America are under siege! Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?” Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449410499
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 138

Book Description
Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat humor in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You. If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats!

Diary of the Cat Named Carrot

Author: Erin Merryn
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 075732391X
Category : Pets
Languages : en
Pages : 82

Book Description
Celebrate a year in the life of The Cat Named Carrot, as she goes from humble beginnings in a shelter to a loving home with a family of three adorable little girls and internet stardom. Bailey was certainly no ordinary cat—an orange tabby who gained fans around the world when his humanlike antics went viral. Sadly, when 14-year-old Bailey died, his family grieved their loss. They’d never find a cat quite like him—or would they? Then along came Carrot, an orange tabby kitten born as a stray, who appeared just as Erin Merryn and her young girls Abby, Hannah, and baby Claire were mending their broken hearts. Written in the voice of Carrot, follow her remarkable journey from shelter cat to top Instagram celebrity feline. Much like Bailey did, she loves spending time with her human family: making mischief with her girl gang; going joyriding in a pint-sized pink Barbie Jeep; doing arts-and-crafts projects; modeling a pink tutu and flowery headband; enjoying a spa day complete with fluffy robe and cucumber eye treatments; celebrating Christmas, Easter, and every holiday in between. It’s no wonder that Carrot’s videos have gone viral—garnering millions of views on Ellen, the Dodo, Good Morning America, Access Hollywood, People, and many more. Complete with four-color photos that will leave readers purring with delight, the journal of this sweet, adorable kitty with personality to spare shows us that the human-animal bond runs more than fur deep. It is love that will last a lifetime!

Crafting with Cat Hair

Author: Kaori Tsutaya
Publisher: Quirk Books
ISBN: 1594746893
Category : Crafts & Hobbies
Languages : en
Pages : 102

Book Description
Got fur balls? Are your favorite sweaters covered with cat hair? Do you love to make quirky and one-of-a-kind crafting projects? If so, then it’s time to throw away your lint roller and curl up with your kitty! Crafting with Cat Hair shows readers how to transform stray clumps of fur into soft and adorable handicrafts. From kitty tote bags and finger puppets to fluffy cat toys, picture frames, and more, these projects are cat-friendly, eco-friendly, and require no special equipment or training. You can make most of these projects in under an hour—with a little help, of course, from your feline friends!

Cats With Guns

Author: Jonathan Parkyn
Publisher: Amber Books Ltd
ISBN: 1908696893
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 96

Book Description
Cats with Guns celebrates the best in felines and firearms. Including more than 40 photomontages of cats with rifles, revolvers, pistols, automatic and semi-automatic firearms, Cats with Guns also features background information on the specifications of the gun, its history and where it has been used.

I Could Pee on This

Author: Francesco Marciuliano
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 1452121869
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 111

Book Description
Animal lovers will laugh out loud at the quirkiness of their feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the singular minds of funny cats. In this hilarious, bestselling book of tongue-in-cheek poetry. The author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behavior to ignorant humans. With titles like "Who Is That on Your Lap?," "This Is My Chair," "Kneel Before Me," "Nudge," and "Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs," the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the inner workings of the cat psyche. With photos of the cat "authors" throughout, this whimsical animal book reveals kitties at their wackiest, and most exasperating (but always lovable). Ideal for that "crazy cat lady" or "cat mom/dad" in your life this collection of poems makes for the perfect cat-themed gift for anyone who's obsessed with our feline friends.

Some Very Interesting Cats Perhaps You Weren't Aware Of

Author: Doogie Horner
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
ISBN: 0761187065
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 209

Book Description
A completely original and funny new take on cats. Doogie Horner, a writer and illustrator, knows just what it is about cats that so obsesses and delights us—their impenetrable personalities, their self-contained quirkiness, the aura of mystery that makes it seem as if they’re always up to something that they don’t want us to know about. So he imagines their secret lives for us, in a way that takes the most surprising and whimsical turns. With full-color illustrations and absurdly funny short stories, Some Very Interesting Cats Perhaps You Weren’t Aware Of is a gallery of 100 impossible cat characters. Like the Alien cat, Xort, who reports back to his planet: “Have trained my humans to feed and pet me. They suspect nothing.” Or the Mountain Climber cat, Snowball, who is planning a perilous route up the North Curtain to Mt. Bookcase. Or Mystico, the Magician cat—no one could figure out how he sawed a dog in half. (The answer was simple: He didn’t like dogs.) And Hjalmar, the Viking cat, whose motto is “Pillage. Tuna. Plunder. Nap.”

Crap Taxidermy

Author: Kat Su
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
ISBN: 1607748207
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 98

Book Description
A humorous look at what happens when taxidermy goes terribly wrong, by the founder of the hit website crappytaxidermy.com. A relaxed toad enjoying a smoke and a brew. A cat with eerily flexible front legs. A smiling lion with receding gums. Whether you choose to laugh or cringe at these spectacularly bad attempts at taxidermy, you won't be able to tear your eyes away from the curiosities inside. This volume brings together the very best of the worst (along with a DIY "Stuff Your Own Mouse" lesson by an Insect Preparator from the American Museum of Natural History), showcasing the most perverse yet imaginative anatomical reconstructions of the animal kingdom you'll ever see.

The Cornered Cat

Author: Kathy Jackson
Publisher: White Feather Press, LLC
ISBN: 9780982248799
Category : Health & Fitness
Languages : en
Pages : 374

Book Description
"If you have to fight...fight like a cornered cat." --Cover.

Ask a Manager

Author: Alison Green
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0399181822
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 306

Book Description
From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together