The Best Ever Book of Woodworker Jokes

Author: Mark Geoffrey Young
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781477599341
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 106

Book Description
The Best Ever Book of Woodworker Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Woodworker jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Woodworker Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Woodworker Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Woodworker joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Woodworker jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Woodworkers wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Woodworker and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Woodworker brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Woodworker who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Woodworkers laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

The Best Ever Book of Carpenter Jokes

Author: Mark Geoffrey Young
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781477523322
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 106

Book Description
If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Carpenter jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Carpenter Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Carpenter Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Carpenter joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Carpenter jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Carpenters wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Carpenter and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Carpenter brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Carpenter who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Carpenters laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***

Woodworking Jokes

Author: The Editors of Woodezine
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780999781906
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 120

Book Description
Here's the perfect gift for the woodworker in your life. It's full of groaners, very clean, and is an excellent excuse to procrastinate instead of making sawdust.

Carpenters Joke Book

Author: Chester Croker
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781794474826
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 48

Book Description
If you're looking for carpenter jokes and funny carpentry jokes you've certainly come to the right place. You won't be board with these carpentry jokes. Leaf your phone alone for a while and enjoy these plane and simple carpentry puns and gags, there's simply no need for a splinter group for these carpenter puns and gags. Some of them are old, but some of them are new, and while we don't want to hammer the point too much, we think these jokes will hit the nail on the head. We hope you enjoy our bumper collection of the very best carpenter jokes and stories.

The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad

Author: Shannon Carpenter
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0143135643
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 273

Book Description
A practical guide for modern-day parenting geared towards stay-at-home dads, offering advice on everything from learning to cook and clean with children, to dealing with mental health and relationships and addressing male loneliness, with the easygoing perspective that dads can use their natural talents to parent any way that they choose. The Ultimate Stay-at-Home Dad manual takes the best advice and wisdom from a dads' group, and puts it into a format to help new stay-at-home fathers. Characterized by actionable and direct advice to fathers, the book takes on parenting from a father's point of view and encourages dads to use their natural talents to become a better parent. That advice is further bolstered by an additional 57 other dads who also give advice. All this advice is framed by the author's personal stories, which help the reader connect with the content and drives the advice home. This is a book that takes on day-to-day parenting, not just as a stay-at-home dad--working fathers could benefit from this book as much as at-home dads.

Best Joke Book Ever

Author: Charles Keller
Publisher: Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.
ISBN: 9781402723735
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 104

Book Description
Watch out--more than 600 of the world's funniest jokes and most hilarious cartoons are about to attack your funny bone--and you won't be able to stop giggling! Who could resist these?Judge: I thought I told you I didn't want to see you in my court again.Prisoner: I told the policeman, but he didn't believe me. First friend: They say you become what you eat.Second friend: Let's order something rich. Doctor, I feel funny today--what should I do?Become a comedian. These jokes are sure to be tops with class clowns everywhere.

Best Effin Woodworker Ever

Author: Journal Humor
Publisher: Independently Published
ISBN: 9781093741056
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 100

Book Description
A Fun Notebook for yourself or if giving as a gift, it is sure to impress your Girlfriend/Boyfriend, Partner, Friend, Coworker, Colleague or anyone in between on birthdays, anniversaries, valentines, Christmas, Mothers, Fathers day or any other gift giving occasion. If giving to family, friends or colleagues this Notebook includes 100 wide ruled lined pages (60gsm) for using as a journal, to take notes, for creative writing or journaling or just to vent their frustrations. 6" x 9" size dimensions are a substantial size for writing and ideal for throwing in a handbag, backpack or desk drawer Makes an ideal and perfect present idea for any gift giving occasion such as, valentines day, christmas or a birthday. Also great as a stocking stuffer or a cheap but quality secret santa present for under 10 dollars. Can be used as a blank notebook, journal to write in, composition book or diary.

Best Carpenter Ever

Author: Carpenter Gifts Journal
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781706641988
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 122

Book Description
This awesome Best Carpenter Ever journal has 120-6x9 lined pages that people will be jealous of, perfect gift idea for proud lumberjack and carpenter. It's also the amazing birthday or anniversary gift for a husband, brother, father, or grandfather, Woodworking Carpenter Saying Journal, Great Notebook For people who works as carpentry and love to build structures or works on a construction sites, A great gift for anyone interested in woodworking and carpentry, amazing gift for Carpenters or Woodworkers on their Birthdays, Halloween, Thanks Giving and Christmas, Funny woodworker Notebook for carpenters or contractors .

The Most Ginormous Joke Book Ever

Author: Cider Mill Press
Publisher: Applesauce Press
ISBN: 1400340799
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 529

Book Description
"From silly wordplay to treacherous tongue twisters, this humongous book has something for every kind of jokester. Never get tired of the same old jokes again. Jam packed with thousands of the funniest jokes, these goofy gags will have kids rolling on the floor with laughter." --

Good Clean Fun

Author: Nick Offerman
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101984651
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 354

Book Description
After two New York Times bestsellers, Nick Offerman—woodworker, actor, comedian, and co-host of NBC’s crafting competition series Making It—returns with the subject for which he’s known best—his incredible real-life woodshop. Nestled among the glitz and glitter of Tinseltown is a testament to American elbow grease and an honest-to-god hard day’s work: Offerman Woodshop. Captained by hirsute woodworker, actor, comedian, and writer Nick Offerman, the shop produces not only fine handcrafted furniture, but also fun stuff—kazoos, baseball bats, ukuleles, mustache combs, even cedar-strip canoes. Now Nick and his ragtag crew of champions want to share their experience of working at the Woodshop, tell you all about their passion for the discipline of woodworking, and teach you how to make a handful of their most popular projects along the way. This book takes readers behind the scenes of the woodshop, both inspiring and teaching them to make their own projects and besotting them with the infectious spirit behind the shop and its complement of dusty wood-elves. In these pages you will find a variety of projects for every skill level, with personal, easy-to-follow instructions by the OWS woodworkers themselves; and, what’s more, this tutelage is augmented by mouth-watering color photos (Nick calls it "wood porn"). You will also find writings by Nick, offering recipes for both comestibles and mirth, humorous essays, odes to his own woodworking heroes, insights into the ethos of woodworking in modern America, and other assorted tomfoolery. Whether you’ve been working in your own shop for years, or if holding this stack of compressed wood pulp is as close as you’ve ever come to milling lumber, or even if you just love Nick Offerman’s brand of bucolic yet worldly wisdom, you’ll find Good Clean Fun full of useful, illuminating, and entertaining information.