100 Animals That Can F*cking End You

Author: Mamadou Ndiaye
Publisher: Voracious
ISBN: 0316453870
Category : Nature
Languages : en
Pages : 226

Book Description
A wittily informative field guide to the deadliest animals on Earth from "AnimalTok" star @mndiaye_97 Ever wonder how to tell if a moose is about to subtract you? Curious why you should be terrified of cassowaries, the “velociraptor that time forgot?” Questioning whether that cute baby hippo is actually a homicidal maniac in the making? Yea, so was Mamadou Ndiaye . . . and now he's got your answers. 100 Animals That Can F*cking End You is the ultimate countdown to merk by animal, featuring everything from tiny bugs that can turn you into a hashtag to animals so massive they can murder you by accident. These include: • The massive Southern elephant seal, which "is built like a truck with the personality of a Spring Break frat boy" • Sperm whales with a call so strong it can vibrate you to death • A golf-ball-sized octopus that can erase twenty-six people with one bite • Hyenas, which have no qualms eating their prey while it is still alive • A snake so quick it can strike you three times before you blink You’ll learn not only which animals to avoid, but which ones can beat you in a footrace, which ones create surprisingly high body counts, and which ones will give you a good reason never to venture into the ocean. Mamadou also offers the occasional survival tip, even if it is just to make peace with your higher power. This dynamic, fact-filled, occasionally disturbing book is perfect for animal lovers and anyone perplexed by the natural world.

F U, Penguin

Author: Matthew Gasteier
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0345527658
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 242

Book Description
Perfect for the Scrooge in your life—a profane, hilarious takedown of all things cute and cuddly, by the author of the blog sensation of (almost) the same name Attention, all you clumsy pandas, lovable puffins, huggable bunnies, and penguins that elicit ooohs and aaahs: The jig is up! We have lived under your furry fists for too long. There is a cute and present danger lurking out there–in the wild, in the zoos, and sometimes even in our very own homes. Spurred on by the Cute Industrial Complex, these cuddly animals have taken over blockbuster films, inspirational posters, and computer desktops everywhere, further weakening the innocent civilians who are beguiled by these fuzzy frauds. But you are stronger than them, aren’t you? Those soft bellies and wet noses are no match for you–and their free ride has just come to an end. F U, Penguin is the rallying cry for those who choose to fight these power-hungry cute-mongers. Loaded with color photographs and hilarious commentary, this book will have you laughing out loud while it simultaneously saves you from the tragic fate of tossing yarn with big-eyed kittens and bottle-nursing baby pandas forever. ___________________________ "Finally, a book for the rest of us! Most animals go about our business without playing to the audience like the elitists exposed in these chapters.I wasn't sure how many more times I could hear about those great penguins and pandas and kittens before I started eating people... well, more people, anyway."—Jerry the Shark "Penguins killed my parents, and they would not hesitate to kill me. I thank the Crustacean God for Matthew Gasteier, a true saint and a decent human being in a world filled with heartless penguin accomplices."—Dennis the Krill "It's all true. We're the worst."—Anonymous Penguin "The average dolphin is far beyond this level of vulgarity, but I could see how this would be a very enjoyable book for humans. I should remember to hand these out to some of my slower relatives at the common ancestor reunion."—Edward the Dolphin "Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this style of book is not something we are currently looking for. However, we wish you the best of luck with your human publishers!"—Danielle the Bear, Editor-in-Chief, Random Cave Publishing

Animal Husbandry

Author: Laura Zigman
Publisher: Random House Digital, Inc.
ISBN: 0385319037
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 319

Book Description
When her boyfriend leaves her for no apparent reason and refuses to return her calls, Jane investigates the theories of Freud, Darwin, and her friends as she embarks on a journey to understand the male mind and uncover the secrets of the heart. Reprint. Tour.

We the Animals

Author: Justin Torres
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN: 0547577001
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 117

Book Description
The critically acclaimed debut from the National Book Award–winning author of Blackouts. In this award-winning, groundbreaking novel, Justin Torres plunges us into the chaotic heart of one family, the intense bonds of three brothers, and the mythic effects of this fierce love on the people we must become. “A tremendously gifted writer whose highly personal voice should excite us in much the same way that Raymond Carver’s or Jeffrey Eugenides’s voice did when we first heard it.” —The Washington Post Three brothers tear their way through childhood—smashing tomatoes all over each other, building kites from trash, hiding out when their parents do battle, tiptoeing around the house as their mother sleeps off her graveyard shift. Paps and Ma are from Brooklyn—he’s Puerto Rican, she’s white—and their love is a serious, dangerous thing that makes and unmakes a family many times. Life in this family is fierce and absorbing, full of chaos and heartbreak and the euphoria of belonging completely to one another. From the intense familial unity felt by a child to the profound alienation he endures as he begins to see the world, this beautiful novel reinvents the coming-of-age story in a way that is sly and punch-in-the-stomach powerful. “We the Animals is a dark jewel of a book. It’s heartbreaking. It’s beautiful. It resembles no other book I’ve read.” —Michael Cunningham “A fiery ode to boyhood. . . A welterweight champ of a book.” —NPR, Weekend Edition NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

Bunny

Author: Mona Awad
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0525559744
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 311

Book Description
NATIONAL BESTSELLER Soon to be a major motion picture "Jon Swift + Witches of Eastwick + Kelly 'Get In Trouble' Link + Mean Girls + Creative Writing Degree Hell! No punches pulled, no hilarities dodged, no meme unmangled! O Bunny you are sooo genius!" —Margaret Atwood, via Twitter "A wild, audacious and ultimately unforgettable novel." —Michael Schaub, Los Angeles Times "Awad is a stone-cold genius." —Ann Bauer, The Washington Post The Vegetarian meets Heathers in this darkly funny, seductively strange novel from the acclaimed author of 13 Ways of Looking at a Fat Girl and Rouge "We were just these innocent girls in the night trying to make something beautiful. We nearly died. We very nearly did, didn't we?" Samantha Heather Mackey couldn't be more of an outsider in her small, highly selective MFA program at New England's Warren University. A scholarship student who prefers the company of her dark imagination to that of most people, she is utterly repelled by the rest of her fiction writing cohort--a clique of unbearably twee rich girls who call each other "Bunny," and seem to move and speak as one. But everything changes when Samantha receives an invitation to the Bunnies' fabled "Smut Salon," and finds herself inexplicably drawn to their front door--ditching her only friend, Ava, in the process. As Samantha plunges deeper and deeper into the Bunnies' sinister yet saccharine world, beginning to take part in the ritualistic off-campus "Workshop" where they conjure their monstrous creations, the edges of reality begin to blur. Soon, her friendships with Ava and the Bunnies will be brought into deadly collision. The spellbinding new novel from one of our most fearless chroniclers of the female experience, Bunny is a down-the-rabbit-hole tale of loneliness and belonging, friendship and desire, and the fantastic and terrible power of the imagination. Named a Best Book of 2019 by TIME, Vogue, Electric Literature, and The New York Public Library

The End of the Fucking World

Author: Charles Forsman
Publisher: Fantagraphics Books
ISBN: 1606999834
Category : Comics & Graphic Novels
Languages : en
Pages : 178

Book Description
Fantagraphics is proud to publish this edition of TeotFW in conjunction with the 2017 television drama on UK’s Channel 4 (with distribution via Netflix in the U.S.). Originally released to critical and public acclaim in 2013, Charles Forsman’s graphic novel debut follows James and Alyssa, two teenagers living a seemingly typical teen experience as they face the fear of coming adulthood. Forsman tells their story through each character’s perspective, jumping between points of view with each chapter. But quickly, this somewhat familiar teenage experience takes a more nihilistic turn as James’s character exhibits a rapidly forming sociopathy that threatens both of their futures. He harbors violent fantasies and begins to act on them, while Alyssa remains as willfully ignorant for as long as she can, blinded by young love.

Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke And Other Misfortunes

Author: Eric LaRocca
Publisher: Titan Books (US, CA)
ISBN: 1803361506
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 256

Book Description
"Amongst the Top 50 Horror Books of All Time" - Cosmopolitan Three dark and disturbing horror stories from an astonishing new voice, including the viral-sensation tale of obsession, Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke. For fans of Kathe Koja, Clive Barker and Stephen Graham Jones. Winner of the Splatterpunk Award for Best Novella. A whirlpool of darkness churns at the heart of a macabre ballet between two lonely young women in an internet chat room in the early 2000s—a darkness that threatens to forever transform them once they finally succumb to their most horrific desires. A couple isolate themselves on a remote island in an attempt to recover from their teenage son’s death, when a mysterious young man knocks on their door during a storm… And a man confronts his neighbour when he discovers a strange object in his back yard, only to be drawn into an ever-more dangerous game. Three devastating, beautifully written horror stories from one of the genre’s most cutting-edge voices. What have you done today to deserve your eyes?

Project Hail Mary

Author: Andy Weir
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0593135202
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 497

Book Description
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the author of The Martian, a lone astronaut must save the earth from disaster in this “propulsive” (Entertainment Weekly), cinematic thriller full of suspense, humor, and fascinating science—in development as a major motion picture starring Ryan Gosling. HUGO AWARD FINALIST • ONE OF THE YEAR’S BEST BOOKS: Bill Gates, GatesNotes, New York Public Library, Parade, Newsweek, Polygon, Shelf Awareness, She Reads, Kirkus Reviews, Library Journal • “An epic story of redemption, discovery and cool speculative sci-fi.”—USA Today “If you loved The Martian, you’ll go crazy for Weir’s latest.”—The Washington Post Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission—and if he fails, humanity and the earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn’t know that. He can’t even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he’s been asleep for a very, very long time. And he’s just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company. His crewmates dead, his memories fuzzily returning, Ryland realizes that an impossible task now confronts him. Hurtling through space on this tiny ship, it’s up to him to puzzle out an impossible scientific mystery—and conquer an extinction-level threat to our species. And with the clock ticking down and the nearest human being light-years away, he’s got to do it all alone. Or does he? An irresistible interstellar adventure as only Andy Weir could deliver, Project Hail Mary is a tale of discovery, speculation, and survival to rival The Martian—while taking us to places it never dreamed of going.

Animal

Author: Lisa Taddeo
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1982122145
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 336

Book Description
From Lisa Taddeo, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller and global phenomenon Three Women, comes an “intoxicating” (Entertainment Weekly), “fearless” (Los Angeles Times), and “explosive” (People) novel about “what happens when women are pushed beyond the brink, and what comes after the reckoning” (Esquire). Joan has spent a lifetime enduring the cruelties of men. But when one of them commits a shocking act of violence in front of her, she flees New York City in search of Alice, the only person alive who can help her make sense of her past. In the sweltering hills above Los Angeles, Joan unravels the horrific event she witnessed as a child—that has haunted her every waking moment—while forging the power to finally strike back. Animal is a depiction of female rage at its rawest, and a visceral exploration of the fallout from a male-dominated society.

Fuck All the Way Off: Triggered Animals

Author: Color Naughty
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781729498088
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 82

Book Description
These animals are scornful, spicy and have zero f**ks left to give. Vintage illustrations are paired with succinct expressions and the result is pure gold. Had a hard day at the office? Did that one frenemy get under your skin? Then, sit down with this adult coloring book and some pencils and let these pages do the talking for you. Vintage images are meant for light embellishment versus hard-core coloring (i.e., you don't have to be a coloring enthusiast to enjoy this book). Add a touch of colored pencil or a wash of watercolor to make the animals pop and fill in the words to coordinate. Or simply leave in their original glory and display or gift these beautiful pages. Phrases include (with **** removed): Oh, You think I give a s**t? How cute. F**k You, Monday I'm sorry I f***ing offended you with my common sense Adios Bitchachos This is a real f**king s**t show If you ran like your mouth you'd be in great shape. I do a thing called what I want You can kiss my sweet a** Once upon a time, F**k You. The End. This is an unbelievable amount of bullish*t What's your big f**king hurry? Not today Satan Read a f**king book Karma's a bitch Honestly, I have no f**ks left to give. Sorry I'm late, I didn't want to come. F**k off. I mean, good morning. Bitch, please Can you not? Get F*********ked Judge me when you are perfect I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong. Feed your own ego, I'm busy. Resting bitch face Thanks, I already know I'm f**king awesome. and more! This coloring book is a unique take on the adult coloring book and swear word coloring book genres. This book contains 40 images of triggered animals for hours of enjoyment. And, be sure to share your finished masterpieces on Instagram using #triggeredanimals.