Author: Carlton Mellick Iii Publisher: ISBN: 9781936383382 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 0
Book Description
It's the dark and seedy side of Christmas that you didn't know about. A Christmas underworld where Santa gets dominated by peppermint women and Frosty is a transvestite stripper. There's elf sluts, toy orgies, and giant flesh-eating Christmas crabs that shoot lasers. That's right. Lasers. It's the holiday season, bitches, so strap on your sugar plum ball gag, bend yourself over the Yule log, and get ready for Kris Kringle to shove some Christmas cheer up your ass!
Author: Jim Dewar Publisher: ISBN: 9781743834916 Category : Languages : en Pages : 96
Book Description
What do you call Santa when he takes a break? Santa Pause. What type of music do Santas elves love? Wrap music! What do you call a kangaroo wearing a Santa hat? A Christmas jumper!
Author: John Grisham Publisher: Anchor ISBN: 0307576078 Category : Fiction Languages : en Pages : 242
Book Description
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A classic tale for modern times from a beloved storyteller, John Grisham offers a hilarious look at the chaos and frenzy that have become part of our holiday tradition. Imagine a year without Christmas. No crowded malls, no corny office parties, no fruitcakes, no unwanted presents. That’s just what Luther and Nora Krank have in mind when they decide that, just this once, they’ll skip the holiday altogether. Theirs will be the only house on Hemlock Street without a rooftop Frosty, they won’t be hosting their annual Christmas Eve bash, they aren’t even going to have a tree. They won’t need one, because come December 25 they’re setting sail on a Caribbean cruise. But as this weary couple is about to discover, skipping Christmas brings enormous consequences—and isn’t half as easy as they’d imagined. Don’t miss John Grisham’s new book, THE EXCHANGE: AFTER THE FIRM!
Author: Erica Dermer Publisher: ISBN: 9780989957403 Category : Celiac disease Languages : en Pages : 190
Book Description
"This book details the struggle through misdiagnosis after misdiagnosis, the search for answers to what "gluten free" really means, additional medical issues along with celiac disease, and a connection between her past life of disordered eating to her new medically restricted diet"--Back cover.
Author: H. M. Bouwman Publisher: Penguin ISBN: 0399545190 Category : Juvenile Fiction Languages : en Pages : 370
Book Description
"Pip, a young boy who can speak to fish, and his sister Kinchen set off on a great adventure, joined by twins with magical powers, refugees fleeing post-war Vietnam, and some helpful sea monsters"--
Author: James Patterson Publisher: Little, Brown ISBN: 0759518521 Category : Fiction Languages : en Pages : 329
Book Description
As he faces a devastating personal loss, Detective Michael Bennett is about to take on the most sinister challenge of his career: a kidnapping crisis that could destroy the most powerful people in America. The nation has fallen into mourning after the unexpected death of a beloved former First Lady, and the most powerful people in the world gather in New York for her funeral. Then the inconceivable occurs: Billionaires, politicians, and superstars of every kind are suddenly trapped within one man's brilliant and ruthless scenario. Bennett, father of ten, is pulled into the fray. As the danger escalates, Michael is hit with devastating news: After fighting for many years, his wife has succumbed to a terrible disease. As New York descends into chaos, Bennett has lost the great love of his life and faces raising his ten devastated children alone-and rescuing 34 hostages. Day after day, Bennett confronts the most ruthless man he has ever dealt with, a man who kills without hesitation and counters everything the NYPD and FBI throw at him with impunity. As the entire world watches and the tension boils to a searing heat, Bennett has to find a way out-or face responsibility for the greatest debacle in history.
Author: Anita Hughes Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin ISBN: 1250774535 Category : Fiction Languages : en Pages : 240
Book Description
"There’s plenty to love in this sparkling Christmas rom-com."—Publishers Weekly A magical holiday love story set at the glamorous Plaza Hotel in New York City. It’s Christmas week when 26-year-old Sabrina Post knocks on the door of the Vanderbilt suite at the Plaza Hotel in New York City, ready to accept the ghostwriting position for the memoir of Grayson Westcott—a famous art dealer. A struggling journalist, Sabrina can't believe her luck: a paycheck and six nights in her own suite at the Plaza. She feels like Eloise, the heroine from her favorite children’s books. To make the job even more exciting, Grayson recounts how he worked as a butler at the Plaza sixty years ago for none other than the author of the Eloise books, Kay Thompson. What promises to be a perfect week is complicated when Sabrina meets Ian Wentworth, a handsome British visitor, at the hotel bar. When Ian assumes Sabrina is another wealthy guest at the hotel, she doesn’t correct him —a decision she doesn’t regret after learning that Ian is a member of the British aristocracy. But, things are not what they seem. The truth is: Ian is not a wealthy lord; he’s actually the personal secretary of Lord Spencer Braxton. As the week unfolds, will Sabrina and Ian learn the truth about one another? Filled with the magic that can only be found at the Plaza Hotel during the holidays, and revealing facts about the author of the Eloise books, Anita Hughes's A Magical New York Christmas is both a holiday treat and a heartwarming story that reminds us that falling in love is the greatest miracle of all.
Author: Jean Shepherd Publisher: Crown ISBN: 0307768732 Category : Fiction Languages : en Pages : 109
Book Description
A beloved, bestselling classic of humorous and nostalgic Americana—the book that inspired the equally classic Yuletide film and the live musical on Fox. The holiday film A Christmas Story, first released in 1983, has become a bona fide Christmas perennial, gaining in stature and fame with each succeeding year. Its affectionate, wacky, and wryly realistic portrayal of an American family’s typical Christmas joys and travails in small-town Depression-era Indiana has entered our imagination and our hearts with a force equal to It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street. This edition of A Christmas Story gathers together in one hilarious volume the gems of autobiographical humor that Jean Shepherd drew upon to create this enduring film. Here is young Ralphie Parker’s shocking discovery that his decoder ring is really a device to promote Ovaltine; his mother and father’s pitched battle over the fate of a lascivious leg lamp; the unleashed and unnerving savagery of Ralphie’s duel in the show with the odious bullies Scut Farkas and Grover Dill; and, most crucially, Ralphie’s unstoppable campaign to get Santa—or anyone else—to give him a Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle. Who cares that the whole adult world is telling him, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid”? The pieces that comprise A Christmas Story, previously published in the larger collections In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories, coalesce in a magical fashion to become an irresistible piece of Americana, quite the equal of the film in its ability to warm the heart and tickle the funny bone.
Author: Nina Stibbe Publisher: Little, Brown ISBN: 0316415790 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 124
Book Description
From the author of Love, Nina -- a hilarious ode to the joys and insanities of the most wonderful time of the year. Every family has its Christmas traditions and memories, and Nina Stibbe's is no exception. From her kitchen-phobic mother's annual obsession with roasting the perfect turkey (an elusive dream to this day) to the quest for a perfect teacher gift (memorable for all the wrong reasons); from the tragic Christmas tree ("is it meant to look like that?") to the acceptable formula for thank-you letters (must include Health Inquiry and Interesting Comment), Nina Stibbe captures all that is magical and maddening about the holidays.
Author: Carlton Mellick Iii
Author: Jim Dewar
Author: John Grisham
Author: Erica Dermer
Author: H. M. Bouwman
Author: James Patterson
Author: Anita Hughes
Author: Jean Shepherd
Author: Nina Stibbe
Author: Trosclair