Putting the Fun in Funeral

Putting the Fun in Funeral PDF Author: Diana Pharaoh Francis
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781944756079
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Beck Wyatt has always hated her mother-enough to kill her. As luck would have it, someone beats her to murdering Mommy Dearest and now Beck gets to plan the tackiest funeral the world has ever seen for the worst woman she's ever known.But first, Beck has a few minor problems to deal with. First on the list? Avoid getting kidnapped. She also has to convince the police she didn't kill her mother. And then there's surviving a death curse ¿.With the help of her three best friends, cheesecake, and a little magic, Beck figures she can handle anything, even the mysterious and irritating Damon Matroviani, whose sexy good-looks light her panties on fire.All too soon, her life is turned inside out, and just when things are looking like they can't get any worse ¿ everything hits the fan.

Dark Needs at Night's Edge

Dark Needs at Night's Edge PDF Author: Kresley Cole
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1849834296
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 338

Book Description
On the night lovely Néomi Renate, a famous ballerina at the turn of the century, was murdered, an evil force turned her into a spectre - a phantom that's neither alive nor dead - and cursed her to relive her harrowing death every month during the full moon. Unable to leave her home, she has managed to scare away any trespassers, until she encounters an inhabitant even more terrifying than Néomi herself. When Conrad Wroth, a vampire warlord who's been half-mad for centuries, first beholds Néomi, he knows nothing will stop him from claiming the ethereal beauty as his own - not even death itself. Yet even if the gruff warrior can win her love and defeat the evil that surrounds her, he still must determine a way to bring her fully back to life, and back to him.

Dead Jokes

Dead Jokes PDF Author: Jim Reaper
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781724152206
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 56

Book Description
Put the fun back in funeral with DEAD JOKES. A collection of tasteless jokes about death. Nothing is off limits.Most of these joke are crude and if you are easily offended then maybe you should check out DAD JOKES which are typically far less shocking. These jokes are not politically correct and will offend some people. Not suitable for children. Not suitable for adults who are not morally corrupt.

Denton Little's Deathdate

Denton Little's Deathdate PDF Author: Lance Rubin
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 147112424X
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 308

Book Description
'Denton's funny, self-effacing genuineness will keep readers rooting for him' Kirkus Reviews 'Full belly-laugh funny' Notes From The Underground 'Freaking hilarious' goodreads.com 'Very, very funny . . . fresh, original and an absolute joy to read' thebookbag.co.uk 'This book! Oh my god, this book is brilliant! … It's so exciting and awesome! Who has ever heard of a teen angsty, hilariously funny, fast-paced, exciting dystopian? I love it!' Once Upon a Bookcase The first of two books, Denton Little's Deathdateis an utterly gripping read - with a killer plot twist, hilarious characters, and atruly memorable voice. Imminent death has never been so funny!Denton Little's Deathdatetakes place in a world exactly like our own - except that everyone knows the day on which they will die. For Denton, that's in just two days - the day of his senior prom. Despite his early deathdate, Denton has always wanted to live a normal life - but his final days are filled with dramatic firsts. First hangover. First sex. First love triangle (the first sex seems to have happened not with his adoring girlfriend, but with his best friend's sister. Though he's not totallysure - see, first hangover). His anxiety builds when he discovers a mysterious purple rash making its way up his body. Is this what will kill him? Then a strange man shows up at his funeral, claiming to have known Denton's long-deceased mother, and warning him to beware of suspicious characters . . . Suddenly Denton's life is filled with mysterious questions and precious little time to find the answers. Debut author Lance Rubin takes us on a fast, gripping, and outrageously funny ride through the last hours of a teenager's life as he searches for love, meaning and (just maybe) a way to live on . . .

Invitation To A Funeral

Invitation To A Funeral PDF Author: Molly Brown
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 1466859784
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 314

Book Description
APHRA BEHN is an unusual woman by any standard, especially those of 1676 London. A popular playwright and former spy, she does not bow to convention, does not always have the fortitude to turn a charming, but alcoholic attorney from her bed, and currently, does not have the funds to pay the rent on her London home. But a long-shot bet--that the Earl of Rochester's doltish young mistress can improve her painfully poor acting enough to play the lead in Aphra's latest play--could have her in the clear again. Until she's indebted to pay for the funerals of two brothers whose kindness helped her years ago. And the debt goes further than that--both deaths smack of murder, and Aphra is determined to find a killer and uncover a deadly secret...one that could engage all of England in a bloody civil war. From the squalid streets of London to the grand chambers of Whitehall Palace, author Molly Brown vividly recreates Restoration England at its most uproarious, while crafting a brilliant novel of history, humor, and heart-pounding intrigue.

Funerals to Die For

Funerals to Die For PDF Author: Kathy Benjamin
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 144055708X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 227

Book Description
True stories that put the, er, "fun" back into funerals! The hereafter may still be part of the great unknown, but with Funerals to Die For you can unearth the rich--and often, dark--history of funeral rites. From getting a portrait painted with a loved one's ashes to purchasing a safety coffin complete with bells and breathing tubes, this book takes you on a whirlwind tour of funeral customs and trivia from all over the globe. Inside, you'll find more than 100 unbelievable traditions, practices, and facts, such as: The remains of a loved one can be launched into deep space for only $1,000. In Taiwan, strippers are hired to entertain funeral guests throughout the ceremony. Undertakers for the Tongan royal family weren't allowed to use their hands for 100 days after preparing a king's body. In the late 1800s, New Englanders would gulp down a cocktail of water and their family member's ashes in order to keep them from returning as vampires. Whether you fear being buried alive or just have a morbid curiosity of the other side, Funerals to Die For examines what may happen when another person dies.

Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral

Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral PDF Author: Kris Radish
Publisher: Listening Library
ISBN: 0739326171
Category : Bereavement
Languages : en
Pages : 570

Book Description
Annie Freeman, left one final request, a traveling funeral, and she wants the most important women in her life as pallbearers. From Sonoma to Manhattan, Katherine, Laura, Rebecca, Jill, and Marie will carry Annie's ashes to the special places in her life. At every stop there's a surprise encounter and a small miracle waiting, and as they whoop it up across the country, attracting interest wherever they go, they share their deepest secrets--tales of broken hearts and second chances, missed opportunities and new beginnings. And as they grieve over what they've lost, they discover how much is still possible if only they can unravel the secret Annie left them.

The Party of Your Life

The Party of Your Life PDF Author: Erika Dillman
Publisher: Santa Monica Press
ISBN: 1595808817
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 181

Book Description
The Party of Your Life is a lively, irreverent guide to putting the F-U-N back in funeral. This upbeat book will appeal to adults of all ages who want a send-off that reflects their interests, achievements, and taste. The Party of Your Life will help readers explore the full range of creative, culinary, musical, and theatrical possibilities of a well-planned (i.e., self-planned) end-of-life party. Baby Boomers, Gen-Xers, and younger generations not interested in having a traditional funeral will appreciate author Erika Dillman’s hip and humorous approach to planning your own funeral. Topics covered in the book include: It Takes a Village: Your Funeral Posse Who’s Hot, Who’s Not: Planning Your Guest List Menus, Massage, and Mojitos: Care and Feeding of Guests Dance This Mess Around: Your Funeral Soundtrack Bye-Bye Bling: Your Funeral Gift Bags With the help of The Party of Your Life, the newly dead will rest in peace knowing the tips in the book have helped reduce the drama and strain on their survivors, who are likely experiencing the most painful time of their lives.

Being Dead Is No Excuse

Being Dead Is No Excuse PDF Author: Gayden Metcalfe
Publisher: Hachette+ORM
ISBN: 1401305741
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 214

Book Description
A hilarious guide to the intricate rituals, customs, and etiquette surrounding death in the South-and a practical collection of recipes for the final send-off. As author Gayden Metcalfe asserts, people in the Delta have a strong sense of community, and being dead is no impediment to belonging to it. Down south, they don't forget you when you've up and died-they may even like you better and visit you more often! But just as there is an appropriate way to live your life in the South, there is an equally essentially tasteful way of departing it-and the funeral is the final social event of your existence so it must be handled flawlessly. Metcalfe portrays this slice of American culture from the manners, customs, and the tomato aspic with mayonnaise that characterize the Delta way of death. Southerners love to swap tales, and Gayden Metcalfe, native of Greenville, MS, founder of the Greenville Arts Council and chairman of the St. James Episcopal Church Bazaar, is steeped in the stories and traditions of this rich region. She reminisces about the prominent family that drank too much and got the munchies the night before the big event-and left not a crumb for the funeral (Naturally some early rising, quick-witted ladies from the church saved the day, so the story demonstrates some solutions to potential entertaining disasters!). Then there was the lady who allocated money to have "Home on the Range" sung at the service, and the family that insisted on a portrait of their mother in her casket, only to refuse to pay for it on the grounds that "Mama looks so sad." Each chapter ends with an authentic southern recipe that will come in handy if you "plan to die tastefully", including Boiled Bourbon Custard; Aunt Hebe's Coconut Cake; Pickled Shrimp; Homemade Mayonnaise; and Homemade Rolls.
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