The Haunted Vagina

Author: Carlton Mellick
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 128

Book Description
Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy's pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees. When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return... especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy's legs.

Satan Burger (15th Anniversary Edition)

Author: Carlton Mellick III
Publisher: Eraserhead Press
ISBN: 9781621052180
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 296

Book Description
When Satan Burger was first being passed around among teenage punks and fans of weird art and film, there was nothing else like it. A book of rebellious spirit that simplistically captured the postmodern malaise of a culture obsessed with consumerism. It quickly gained an underground following, was transcribed by fans and bootlegged online, was translated into Russian and made its way around the world attracting the attention of readers bored with typical mainstream fare. Combining a satirical wit and style on par with legendary humorists such as Kurt Vonnegut and Russell Edson with the crazy punk ethos of cult film directors such as Terry Gilliam, David Lynch, and Takashi Miike, this was a book overflowing with so many new ideas and absurd philosophies that it not only launched the career of underground author Carlton Mellick III, but inspired an entire literary movement. For the fifteenth anniversary of the release of this Bizarro Fiction classic, Eraserhead Press is thrilled to present this special hardcover edition, featuring an introduction by splatterpunk legend John Skipp, illustrations by Ryan Ward, and a new preface by the author. Satan Burger explores a new kind of apocalypse. Not an apocalypse caused by disease or nuclear war, but an apocalypse of boredom. A plague of monotony has spread across the countryside, sucking all passion and inspiration out of everyone over the age of twenty-five, leaving only the disenfranchised youth to fend for themselves in a world crumbling around them. Featuring a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive and running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, a race of women who feed on male orgasms, and a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn't want them anymore.

Assassins in Love

Author: Kris DeLake
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
ISBN: 1402262841
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 355

Book Description
A fast, edgy, and passionate story." —Mary Jo Putney, New York Times bestselling author When one killer falls for another Agent: Misha Profile: Highly trained in every method the assassins guild has to offer. Always goes by the book. Agent: Rikki Profile: Rogue assassin who kills only to rid the world of hardened criminals. Hates organizations. Always does it her way. Love becomes a matter of life and death Misha's mission is to get Rikki to join the guild or give up her guns. He completely underestimated the effect she would have on him...and what heat and chaos they could bring to each other...

Razor Wire Pubic Hair

Author: Carlton Mellick III
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621050353
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
A surreal sexual nightmare by cult bizarro author Carlton Mellick III. In a dark future where males have become extinct, humans are forced to breed with factory-manufactured living fuck-toys that possess an abundance of both male and female sex organs. One such creature is adopted by a warrior dominatrix named Celsia, who is trying to have a baby. But once she takes her new merchandise home, things don't quite go as planned. Wild tribes of rapists, women with multiple vaginas covering their bodies, sex tournaments, erotic mutilation, and a giant vagina possessing the secrets of the universe, this is one ugly perverted hell of a world. Told in Mellick's early schizophrenic prose style, Razor Wire Pubic Hair is like postmodern minimalistic art mixed with Japanese "guro" porn.

Twelve Nights at Rotter House

Author: J.W. Ocker
Publisher: Turner Publishing Company
ISBN: 1684423708
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 190

Book Description
Felix Allsey is a travel writer with a keen eye for the paranormal, and he’s carved out a unique, if only slightly lucrative, niche for himself in nonfiction; he writes travelogues of the country’s most haunted places, after haunting them himself. When he convinces the owner of the infamous Rotterdam Mansion to let him stay on the premises for 13 nights, he believes he’s finally found the location that will bring him a bestseller. As with his other gigs, he sets rules for himself: no leaving the house for any reason, refrain from outside contact, and sleep during the day. When Thomas Ruth, Felix's oldest friend and fellow horror film obsessive, joins him on the project, the two dance around a recent and unspeakably painful rough-patch in their friendship, but eventually fall into their old rhythms of dark humor and movie trivia. That’s when things start going wrong: screams from upstairs, figures in the thresholds, and more than what should be in any basement. Felix realizes the book he’s writing, and his very state of mind, is tilting from nonfiction into all out horror, and the shocking climax answers a question that’s been staring these men in the face all along: In Rotter House, who’s haunting who?

Fantastic Orgy

Author: Carlton Mellick Iii
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781936383801
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Shark Sex, mutant cats, and strange sexually transmitted diseases. Over the past few decades, sexually transmitted diseases have evolved in unusual ways. Herpes, AIDS, Gonorrhea; these are all STDs of the past. These days, sexually transmitted diseases are more extreme and bizarre. Not exactly diseases anymore, they are more like sexually transmitted body modifications. There's an STD that changes your hair color, an STD that causes your toes to grow larger, one causes you to grow extra breasts on your body, another causes your skin to grow long metal spikes, and there's an especially annoying STD that causes you to ejaculate miniature eyeballs. Tonight is Share Your STD Night at the Demon Seed Swingers Club. Although most members of society fear the idea of contracting these diseases, there are some underground deviants who embrace them. They believe the diseases make them strange, unique, and beautiful. So they come together once a month to trade their wonderful STDs with each other in a surreal, fantastical orgy. However, tonight will not be like other nights. There's a new disease spreading through the sex club, a disease that causes people to become rabid bloodthirsty killing machines. As the infected rampage through the Demon Seed, the survivors realize there's only one thing they can do to survive the night: turn their grotesque STDs into deadly super weapons. Also featuring the short stories: "Candy-Coated" - A buff dude with a lollipop for a head has a hard time picking up the laydaaays due to all of the bearded truckers who keep trying to lick his head. "Ear Cat" - A Kitty of the Month Club selection gone horribly, horribly wrong. "City Hobgoblins" - A member of a punk rock band falls in love with a shark-like creature. (a prequel to the cult novel Satan Burger) "Porno in August" - A group of porn actors find themselves floating in the middle of the ocean, unable to remember who they are or why they are there. (Chosen for The Year's Best Fantasy and Horror)

The Baby Jesus Butt Plug

Author: Carlton Mellick
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780972959827
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
"This tale of office drones and disposable clones is a splatterpunk odyssey, a cautionary tale of corporate omnipotence, and a possible blueprint of the future of the nuclear family."--Back cover.

I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter

Author: Carlton Mellick Iii
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781936383825
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Jonathan Vandervoo lives a carefree life in a house made of legos, spending his days building lego sculptures and his nights getting drunk with his only friend-an alcoholic sumo wrestler named Shoji. It's a pleasant life with no responsibility, until the day he meets Lici. She's a soul-sucking demon from hell with red skin, glowing eyes, a forked tongue, and pointy red devil horns... and she happens to be nine months pregnant with Jonathan's baby. Now Jonathan must do the right thing and marry the succubus or else her demonic family is going to rip his heart out through his ribcage and force him to endure the worst torture hell has to offer for the rest of eternity. But can Jonathan really love a fire-breathing, frog-eating, cold-blooded demoness? Or would eternal damnation be preferable? Either way, the big day is approaching. And once Jonathan's conservative Christian family learns their son is about to marry a spawn of Satan, it's going to be all-out war between demons and humans, with Jonathan and his hell-born bride caught in the middle. I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter is an adorable, violent, fantastical love story-a romantic comedy for the bizarro fiction reader.

Punk Land

Author: Carlton Mellick III
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 292

Book Description
"The author takes us on a journey into an absurd afterlife called PUNK LAND: the punk version of Heaven. The story follows Goblin, a deformed young hermit who is perfectly happy haunting an abandoned gatehouse far outside of civilization with his pet dildo, Frog Strips, until two strangers named Nan and Mortician arrive at his doorstep with a crazy story that turns his quiet post-life existence upside-down. Goblin soon finds himself mixed up in a war between corporate punks and traditional punks that he really couldn't care less about. But without the help of Goblin, Mortician's sperm, and a blue-mohawked female assassin named Shark Girl, the utopian anarchy in Punk Land will surely be lost"--Publisher's description.

Hammer Wives

Author: Carlton Mellick Iii
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621050735
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Fish-eyed mutants, oceans of insects, and flesh-eating women with hammers for heads. Like a real world Kilgore Trout, cult author Carlton Mellick III has been pumping out dozens of the weirdest, trashiest, most imaginative books you've probably never heard of... even though you definitely should. Hammer Wives collects six of his most popular novelettes and short stories, including: SIMPLE MACHINES A man discovers that his body is actually a machine run by dozens of miniature clones of himself. RED WORLD A recovering junky must save his 8-year-old brother from a life of prostitution in a surreal version of New York City... a place where street kids mutate into fish-like creatures, the homeless stilt-walk through oceans of insects, and the only colors left visible to the human eye are shades of red. HAMMER WIVES A young man inherits ten eternally youthful wives from an estranged uncle he never knew he had... which wouldn't have been such a bad thing if they didn't have giant hammers for heads or a tendency of bludgeoning people to death for fun, food, or sexual pleasure. LEMON KNIVES 'N' COCKROACHES Cockroach-like children survive the zombie apocalypse by hiding between the walls of on old school building. WAR PIG In a steam-powered underworld, a bloodthirsty pig-man boxer will sacrifice everything to prevent his son from following in his footsteps. THE MAN WITH THE STYROFOAM BRAIN The recently departed reflect on the stupid reasons why they sold their souls to the devil.