The Middling Affliction

Author: Alex Shvartsman
Publisher: CAEZIK SF & Fantasy
ISBN: 9781647100544
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 230

Book Description
The Dresden Files meets American Gods in New York City. What would you do if you lost everything that mattered to you, as well as all means to protect yourself and others, but still had to save the day? Conrad Brent is about to find out. Conrad Brent protects the people of Brooklyn from monsters and magical threats. The snarky, wisecracking guardian also has a dangerous secret: he's one in a million - literally. Magical ability comes to about one in every 30,000 and can manifest at any age. Conrad is rarer than this, however. He's a middling, one of the half-gifted and totally despised. Most of the gifted community feels that middlings should be instantly killed. The few who don't flat out hate them still aren't excited to be around middlings. Meaning Conrad can't tell anyone, not even his best friends, what he really is. Conrad hides in plain sight by being a part of the volunteer Watch, those magically gifted who protect their cities from dangerous, arcane threats. And, to pay the bills, Conrad moonlights as a private detective and monster hunter for the gifted community. Which helps him keep up his personal fiction - that he's a magical version of Batman. Conrad does both jobs thanks to charms, artifacts, and his wits, along with copious amounts of coffee. But little does he know that events are about to change his life...forever. When Conrad discovers the Traveling Fair auction house has another middling who's just manifested her so-called powers on the auction block, he's determined to save her, regardless of risk. But what he finds out while doing so is even worse - the winning bidder works for a company that's just created the most dangerous chemical weapon to ever hit the magical community. Before Conrad can convince anyone at the Watch of the danger, he's exposed for what he really is. Now, stripped of rank, magical objects, friends and allies, Conrad has to try to save the world with only his wits. Thankfully though, no one's taken away his coffee.

The Cackle of Cthulhu

Author: Alex Shvartsman
Publisher: Baen Books
ISBN: 1625796242
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 337

Book Description
TOP AUTHORS POKE FUN AND PAY TRIBUTE TO H.P. LOVECRAFT'S CTHULHU MYTHOS. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cthul. Cthul who? Exactly! I've come to tickle your funnybone. Oh, and also to eat your soul. In 1928, Weird Tales debuted “The Call of Cthulhu” by H.P. Lovecraft, and the Cthulhu Mythos was born. In the 90 years since, dozens of writers have dared play within HPL’s mind-blowing creation—but never with such terrifyingly funny results. Now top authors lampoon, parody, and subvert Lovecraft’s Mythos. See Cthulhu cut short his nap at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean to invade North Korea! Watch the Unspeakable Eater of Souls solve crimes on the pulpy streets of Innsmouth! And speaking of largish Elder Gods, listen to a plastic Elvis doll dispense folksy advice straight from the heart of the Emperor of Dread! Again Ol’ Tentacle-Face is confronted by frail humans who dare defy the Incarnation of Ultimate Evil—but this time not by brave monster hunters and terrified villagers, but by fan fiction writers, clueless college students, and corporate lawyers (okay, we realize it’s hard to know who to root for in that confrontation). Twenty-three mirthful manifestations within the Cthulhu Mythos from best-selling and award-winning authors Neil Gaiman, Mike Resnick, Esther Friesner, Ken Liu, Jody Lynn Nye, Laura Resnick, Nick Mamatas, and many more! Guaranteed to leave you howling. Because if you look at it just right, there’s nothing funnier than a soul writhing in cosmic horror before a tentacled maw of malevolence. As HPL himself saith: “From even the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.” Praise for the Unidentified Funny Objects anthologies, edited by Alex Shvartsman: “This book is a delight. There are a lot of giggles here, and every now and then you’ll laugh your head off. This is a hoot from start to finish.”—Galaxy’s Edge “Shvartsman delivers a wonderful anthology and if you want to broaden your humorous SFF reading, Unidentified Funny Objects is a great place to start.”— A Fantastical Librarian Praise for Alex Shvartsman: “Shvartsman is an entertaining writer who can take on many voices and make them his.” –Locus “Alex Shvartsman’s comedy is bright and direct with clever dialogue of both the inner and outer sort.”—Tangent Online Complete Contributor List: Neil Gaiman Jody Lynn Nye Mike Resnick Ken Liu Nick Mamatas Esther Friesner David Vaughan Kevin Wetmore Shaenon K. Garrity Brian Trent Alex Shvartsman Rachael Klahn Jones Yvonne Navarro Scott Huggins Gini Koch Aidan Doyle Konstantine Paradias Amanda Helms Laura Resnick Matt Mikalatos Laura Pearlman Lucy A. Snyder Original stories by David Vaughan, Jody Lynn Nye, Mike Resnick, Brian Trent, Yvonne Navarro, G. Scott Huggins, Gini Koch, Aidan Doyle, Amanda Helms, Laura Resnick, Laura Pearlman, Lucy Snyder, and Nick Mamatas. Reprints by Esther Friesener, Kevin Wetmore, Shaenon K. Garrity, Alex Shvatsman, Ken Liu, Rachael K. Jones, Neil Gaiman, Konstantine Paradias, and Matt Mikalatos. **

Funny Science Fiction

Author: Mike Resnick
Publisher: UFO Publishing
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 257

Book Description
Seventeen of the funniest science fiction stories published in the past decade (2005-2015), featuring alien invasions, global conspiracies, time travel and even animal uprisings. Fiction by Hugo and Nebula award winners and nominees as well as talented newcomers. Stories were selected by the Unidentified Funny Objects series curator Alex Shvartsman.

Unidentified Funny Objects 7

Author: Seanan McGuire
Publisher: UFO Publishing
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 319

Book Description
SCIENCE FICTION, FANTASY, HUMOR The Unidentified Funny Objects series delivers an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices! * A long time ago in a galaxy close enough not to violate any copyrights, the clone army fighting for the side of the evil empire is made up of a bunch of bros named Chad. * Can a couple of wise guys from New Jersey broker a sit down between two groups of warring aliens? * Witness an epic battle of mad science vs. dark magic. * US presidents elected in 1860 and 1960 were both assassinated. What's going to happen to whoever's elected in 2060? * Beware the dragon polite enough to return your drone after it breached the barriers between worlds and bonked him on the snout.

Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma and Other Stories

Author: Alex Shvartsman
Publisher: UFO Publishing
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 474

Book Description
40 short stories by Alex Shvartsman, winner of the 2014 WSFA Small Press Award for Short Fiction. * An elder god trapped in a pocket dimension turns up in the world's oldest magic pawn shop. * A cybernetically-enhanced assassin who can't feel pain faces a dangerous adversary. * A computer hacker and a mystic team up to break into the Book of Fate and change their futures. * Vatican investigators are called to examine a miracle on another planet. and much, much more! Each story includes author notes, written for this collection. Praise for "Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma": "Wit, sentiment, imagination--Alex Shvartsman's got them all." -Mike Resnick, Hugo award winner. "Fantastic variety and scope ... Prepare to be entertained, delighted and amazed." -Esther Friesner, Nebula award winner. "His stories feature tightly constructed, intricate, puzzle-like plots with clever banter and plenty of fresh, twisted pop culture references." -Ken Liu, Hugo and Nebula award winner "Full of intriguing ideas and wit." -Jody Lynn Nye, bestselling author "A wonderful collection of short stories that will make you laugh, think and feel." -Gini Koch, bestselling author "If you ever need to explain Cthulhu to your Grandma, this is the place to start." -Henry Gee, senior editor at Nature.

Suffering and the Sovereignty of God

Author: John Piper
Publisher: Crossway
ISBN: 143351902X
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 258

Book Description
In the last few years, 9/11, a tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, and many other tragedies have shown us that the vision of God in today's churches in relation to evil and suffering is often frivolous. Against the overwhelming weight and seriousness of the Bible, many Christians are choosing to become more shallow, more entertainment-oriented, and therefore irrelevant in the face of massive suffering. In Suffering and the Sovereignty of God, contributors John Piper, Joni Eareckson Tada, Steve Saint, Carl Ellis, David Powlison, Dustin Shramek, and Mark Talbot explore the many categories of God's sovereignty as evidenced in his Word. They urge readers to look to Christ, even in suffering, to find the greatest confidence, deepest comfort, and sweetest fellowship they have ever known.

Gil's All Fright Diner

Author: A. Lee Martinez
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 1429913622
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 272

Book Description
Bloodier than Fried Green Tomatoes! Funnier than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre! Welcome to Gil's All Night Diner, where zombie attacks are a regular occurrence and you never know what might be lurking in the freezer . . . Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley. But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg. Seems someone's out to drive Loretta from the Diner, and more than willing to raise a little Hell on Earth if that's what it takes. Before Duke and Earl get to the bottom of the Diner's troubles, they'll run into such otherworldly complications as undead cattle, an amorous ghost, a jailbait sorceress, and the terrifying occult power of pig-latin. And maybe--just maybe--the End of the World, too. Gory, sexy, and flat-out hilarious, Gil's All Fright Diner will tickle your funnybone--before ripping it out of its socket! At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Maphead

Author: Ken Jennings
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439167184
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 320

Book Description
Traces the history of mapmaking while offering insight into the role of cartography in human civilization and sharing anecdotes about the cultural arenas frequented by map enthusiasts.

The Golem of Deneb Seven and Other Stories

Author: Alex Shvartsman
Publisher: UFO Publishing
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 277

Book Description
31 science fiction and fantasy short stories encompassing hard SF, fantasy humor, and everything in-between. * Refugees with a salvaged mech suit find that family ties are stronger than armor. * Two artificial intelligences in love turn the world into their playground. * Modern-day Dante is guided through hell by the ghost of Bob Marley. * Ancient gods and monsters stalk the halls of a 1920s night club. * A young woman must save her planet by committing an act of terror. * In the rekindled space race between the United States, Russia, and India, the winner might be the nation willing to sacrifice the most.

Fresh

Author: Margot Wood
Publisher: Abrams
ISBN: 1647000580
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 300

Book Description
"A hilarious, heartfelt, and realistic coming-of-age story." —Buzzfeed "Hilarious and heartwarming." —Popsugar “A laugh-out-loud and vulnerable coming-of-age story.” —The Nerd Daily [Movie trailer narrator voice]: In a world, where humanity has crumbled—wait, no, wrong story. Sorry! Let’s try that again. [YA movie trailer narrator voice:] Some students enter their freshman year of college knowing exactly what they want to do with their lives. Elliot McHugh isn’t one of those people. But picking a major is the last thing on Elliot’s mind when she’s too busy experiencing all that college has to offer—from dancing all night at off-campus parties to testing her RA Rose’s patience to making new friends to having the best sex one can have on a twin-size dorm-room bed. But she may not be ready for the fallout when reality hits. When the sex she’s having isn’t that great. When finals creep up and smack her right in the face. Or when her roommate’s boyfriend turns out to be the biggest a-hole. Elliot may make epic mistakes, but if she’s honest with herself (and with you, dear reader), she may just find the person she wants to be. And maybe even fall in love in the process . . . Well, maybe. We’re not promising anything. We can’t give everything away ahead of time.