Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes

Author: Cory O'Brien
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 039916040X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 306

Book Description
From the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse, Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms! All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Did you know? Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. Still skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes

Author: Cory O'Brien
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101619678
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 306

Book Description
Get this: Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

George Washington Is Cash Money

Author: Cory O'Brien
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0698186702
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 242

Book Description
PREPARE TO BE BEAKED BY THE MAJESTIC EAGLE OF HISTORY Most of us are familiar with the greatest hits and legendary heroes of US history. In George Washington Is Cash Money, Cory O’Brien, author of Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, does away with the pomp and circumstance and calls America’s history what it is: one long, violent soap opera. In his signature clever, crude, and cuss-ridden style, O’Brien reminds us that: · Teddy Roosevelt stopped bullets with his manly chest · Harriet Tubman avoided danger by having prophetic seizures. · Joseph Smith invented Mormonism by staring into a hat full of rocks. · Billy the Kid was finally defeated by the smell of fresh bacon. And there’s plenty more Star Spangled stupidity where that came from.

Must Love Vampires

Author: Heidi Betts
Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corp.
ISBN: 0758278519
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 317

Book Description
Love At First Bite Nightclub dancer Chloe Lamoureaux just met the man of her dreams: Aidan Raines is charming, considerate, rich, and hot. Of course, he's a little mysterious about his age. And his favorite drink. And he's not much for sunlight. But he's asked her to marry him, and she's ready to do it. Sure, she has a few secrets too--but they'll have plenty of time to work things out while they're living happily ever after. Right? Her identical twin sister, Chuck, isn't so sure. Maybe reporting for the local Bigfoot-sighting tabloid doesn't make her an expert, but to Chuck, Aidan and his brother Sebastian look like honest-to-Dracula vampires. Especially Sebastian: beguiling, seductive, and just a hint of dangerous. Maybe she wouldn't mind him taking a little taste. But with Chloe's life in the balance, she has to know--do they want hot love or hot blood? Or maybe. . .a little of both? Praise for The Bite Before Christmas "Enjoyable reading." --Romantic Times "Inventive, gently humorous, and fast-paced, this steamy paranormal anthology offers an alternative to the typical holiday fare; perfect for readers who want their romances on the edgy side." –Library Journal

The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind

Author: Julian Jaynes
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN: 0547527543
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 580

Book Description
National Book Award Finalist: “This man’s ideas may be the most influential, not to say controversial, of the second half of the twentieth century.”—Columbus Dispatch At the heart of this classic, seminal book is Julian Jaynes's still-controversial thesis that human consciousness did not begin far back in animal evolution but instead is a learned process that came about only three thousand years ago and is still developing. The implications of this revolutionary scientific paradigm extend into virtually every aspect of our psychology, our history and culture, our religion—and indeed our future. “Don’t be put off by the academic title of Julian Jaynes’s The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind. Its prose is always lucid and often lyrical…he unfolds his case with the utmost intellectual rigor.”—The New York Times “When Julian Jaynes . . . speculates that until late in the twentieth millennium BC men had no consciousness but were automatically obeying the voices of the gods, we are astounded but compelled to follow this remarkable thesis.”—John Updike, The New Yorker “He is as startling as Freud was in The Interpretation of Dreams, and Jaynes is equally as adept at forcing a new view of known human behavior.”—American Journal of Psychiatry

One Drop

Author: Yaba Blay
Publisher: Beacon Press
ISBN: 0807073369
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 290

Book Description
Challenges narrow perceptions of Blackness as both an identity and lived reality to understand the diversity of what it means to be Black in the US and around the world What exactly is Blackness and what does it mean to be Black? Is Blackness a matter of biology or consciousness? Who determines who is Black and who is not? Who’s Black, who’s not, and who cares? In the United States, a Black person has come to be defined as any person with any known Black ancestry. Statutorily referred to as “the rule of hypodescent,” this definition of Blackness is more popularly known as the “one-drop rule,” meaning that a person with any trace of Black ancestry, however small or (in)visible, cannot be considered White. A method of social order that began almost immediately after the arrival of enslaved Africans in America, by 1910 it was the law in almost all southern states. At a time when the one-drop rule functioned to protect and preserve White racial purity, Blackness was both a matter of biology and the law. One was either Black or White. Period. Has the social and political landscape changed one hundred years later? One Drop explores the extent to which historical definitions of race continue to shape contemporary racial identities and lived experiences of racial difference. Featuring the perspectives of 60 contributors representing 25 countries and combining candid narratives with striking portraiture, this book provides living testimony to the diversity of Blackness. Although contributors use varying terms to self-identify, they all see themselves as part of the larger racial, cultural, and social group generally referred to as Black. They have all had their identity called into question simply because they do not fit neatly into the stereotypical “Black box”—dark skin, “kinky” hair, broad nose, full lips, etc. Most have been asked “What are you?” or the more politically correct “Where are you from?” throughout their lives. It is through contributors’ lived experiences with and lived imaginings of Black identity that we can visualize multiple possibilities for Blackness.

The Mask Omnibus Volume 1 (Second Edition)

Author: John Arcudi
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
ISBN: 1506712568
Category : Comics & Graphic Novels
Languages : en
Pages : 378

Book Description
The bestselling comic trilogy that inspired the blockbuster film The Mask is collected in this omnibus edition of gruesome hilarity! A weird mask of unknown origin and power is discovered and imbues its wearer with limitless cartoon character invulnerability that takes the nerdy Stanley Ipkiss, the police, the mafia, and the monstrous mob muscleman Walter on a colliding violent path of homicidal mayhem, lunacy, and destruction! Collects The Mask, The Mask Returns, and The Mask Strikes Back!

Love Protects

Author: Ruth Ella Wilson
Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
ISBN: 9781647732653
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 24

Book Description
Love Protects will help our children feel safe, knowing that they belong to God, and that they can trust Him to defend them. We thank God for keeping us happy, healthy, and holy! Those who care for children will want to share this book with them to empower them and build their confidence in God's armor; that they will remember to wear daily. Love Protects encourages all to value the diversity of God's little masterpieces--children. Sent to inspire our precious little ones to let the Holy Spirit lead, guide, and protect them forever, Love Protects connects their hearts to the Love Beyond Borders series. The four-book series is designed to give children a deeper understanding of God's love for them, which in turn flows through them into others. As expressed in Psalm 20:1 (NIV), "May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you." In His love, Ruth Ella Wilson

Sophie's World

Author: Jostein Gaarder
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
ISBN: 1466804270
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 599

Book Description
A page-turning novel that is also an exploration of the great philosophical concepts of Western thought, Jostein Gaarder's Sophie's World has fired the imagination of readers all over the world, with more than twenty million copies in print. One day fourteen-year-old Sophie Amundsen comes home from school to find in her mailbox two notes, with one question on each: "Who are you?" and "Where does the world come from?" From that irresistible beginning, Sophie becomes obsessed with questions that take her far beyond what she knows of her Norwegian village. Through those letters, she enrolls in a kind of correspondence course, covering Socrates to Sartre, with a mysterious philosopher, while receiving letters addressed to another girl. Who is Hilde? And why does her mail keep turning up? To unravel this riddle, Sophie must use the philosophy she is learning—but the truth turns out to be far more complicated than she could have imagined.

Oh My Gods

Author: Philip Freeman
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451609973
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 370

Book Description
The author, a professor of classics and visiting scholar at the Harvard Divinity school presents modern interpretations of traditional Greek and Roman myths that render classic themes accessible to a new generation of readers. Here he retells some of the most popular myths and tales of errant gods, fantastic creatures, and human heroes, including powerful Zeus, his wife Hera, Apollo, beautiful Aphrodite, fierce Athena, the dauntless heroes Theseus and Hercules, the doomed lovers Orpheus and Eurydice, as well as the tales of the Argonauts, and the narrative of the Battle of Troy. These Greek and Roman myths are as relevant today as ever in their sharp observations about human nature; they still inspire awe, give us courage, and break our hearts. They have inspired plays, operas, and paintings, and live on today in movies and video games. -- From back cover.