If You'd Just Let Me Finish!

If You'd Just Let Me Finish! PDF Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Michael Joseph
ISBN: 9780241366738
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Well, someone's got to do it- in a world which simply will not see reason, Jeremy sets off on another quest to beat a path of sense through all the silliness and idiocy. Pithy and provocative, this is Clarkson at his best, taking issue with whatever nonsense gets in the way of his search for all that's worth celebrating. Why should we be forced to accept stuff that's a bit rubbish? Shouldn't things work? What doesn't someone care? It's a good thing we've still got Jeremy out there, still looking, without fear or favour, for the answers.

As I Was Saying . . .

As I Was Saying . . . PDF Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 1405924160
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 352

Book Description
As I Was Saying... is the seventh book in Jeremy Clarkson's best-selling The World According to Clarkson series. *** Crikey, the world according to Clarkson's been a funny old place of late . . . For a while, Jeremy could be found in his normal position as the tallest man on British television but, more recently, he appears to have been usurped by a pretend elephant. But on paper the real Jeremy remains at the helm. That's as it should be. For nearly thirty years he has been fearlessly leading the charge as one the best comic writers in the country. And in 2015, he shows no sign of slowing down. So, whether it's pondering If Jesus might have been better off being born in New Zealand Why reflexive pronoun abuse is the worst thing in the world How Pam Ayres's head trumps Gordon Gecko's underpants Or what a television presenter with time on his hands gets up to Jeremy is still trying to make sense of all the big stuff. Circumstances change. Nothing's forever. But As I Was Saying provides glorious proof that Jeremy remains as funny, puzzled, excitable, outspoken, insightful and thought-provoking as ever. As if you ever doubted it . . . *** Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant... laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny... will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

Can You Make This Thing Go Faster?

Can You Make This Thing Go Faster? PDF Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 1405946520
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 260

Book Description
The hilarious new collection of stories and observations from Jeremy Clarkson - setting our off-kilter world to rights with thigh-slapping wit once again. Who is that tractor-driving Gentleman Farmer? Has Jeremy turned into a horny-handed son of the soil? These and other perplexing questions may or may not be answered in the latest volume of Clarkson's utterly unbiased musings on life, the universe and everything in between (except cars - this isn't one of his four-wheel drive books). Inside you'll also discover why: · Bathing in crude oil isn't for everyone · People who go fishing hate their kids · Noise-cancelling headphones will never silence James May · The rambler who stole his marrow is in for it Full of fact-checked opinions and ideas so good they're no longer following the science but chasing it up a tree, Can You Make This Thing Go Faster? is one hundred per cent guaranteed Clarkson . . . Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

And Another Thing

And Another Thing PDF Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0141901403
Category : Travel
Languages : en
Pages : 352

Book Description
In And Another Thing... the outspoken and outrageous presenter Jeremy Clarkson, shares his opinions on just about everything. Jeremy Clarkson finds the world such a perplexing place that he wrote a bestselling book about it. Yet, despite the appearance of The World According to Clarkson, things - amazingly - haven't improved. Not being someone to give up easily, however, he's decided to have another go. In And Another Thing... the king of the exasperated quip discovers that: • Bombing North Carolina is bad for Yorkshire • We can look forward to exploding at the age of 62 • Russians look bad in Speedos. But not as bad as we do • Wasps are the highest form of life Thigh-slappingly funny and in your face, Jeremy Clarkson bursts the pointless little bubbles of the idiots while celebrating the special, the unique and the sheer bloody brilliant... And Another Thing... is a hilarious collection of Jeremy's Sunday Times columns and the second in hisThe World According to Clarkson series which also includes The World According to Clarkson, For Crying Out Loud! and How Hard Can It Be? Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out Number-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Born To Be Riled, Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store. Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.

Is It Really Too Much To Ask?

Is It Really Too Much To Ask? PDF Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 1405914149
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 480

Book Description
Is It Really Too Much To Ask? is the fifth book in Jeremy Clarkson's bestselling The World According to Clarkson series. Well, someone's got to do it: in a world which simply will not see reason, Jeremy sets off on another quest to beat a path of sense through all the silliness and idiocy. And there's no knowign what might catch Jeremy's eye along the way. It could be: -The merits of Stonehenge as a business model -Why all meetings are a waste of time -The theft of the Queen's cows -One Norwegian man's unique approach to showing his gratitude -Fitting a burglar alarm to a tortoise -Or how Lou Reed was completely wrong about what makes a perfect day Pithy and provocative, this is Clarkson at his best, taking issue with whatever nonsense gets in the way of his search for all that's worth celebrating. Why should we be forced to accept stuff that's a bit rubbish? Shouldn't things work? Why doesn't someone care? I mean, is it really too much to ask? It's a good thing we've still got Jeremy out there, still looking, without fear or favour, for the answers. Jeremy Clarkson becomes the hilarious voice of a nation once more in Is It Really Too Much To Ask?, Volume 5 of The World According To Clarkson, following bestselling titles The World According to Clarkson, And Another Thing, For Crying Out Loud and How Hard Can It Be?. Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant... laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny... will have you in stitches' Time Out Jeremy Clarkson began his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. He now writes for the Sun and the Sunday Times and is the tallest person working in British television.

If You’d Just Let Me Finish

If You’d Just Let Me Finish PDF Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 1405939060
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 208

Book Description
Clarkson is back! Pre order his brand new book now. ___________ In November 2016 we woke up to the news that the forthright presenter of a popular television programme had become the most powerful man on the planet. His name, sadly, was not Jeremy Clarkson, but we might not have been any more surprised if it had been. Because the world seems to have taken a decidedly odd turn since Jeremy last reflected on the state of things between the covers of a book. But who better than JC to help us navigate our way through the mess? And while he's being trying to make sense of it all he's discovered one or two things along the way, including - The disabling effects of being vegan - How Blackpool might be improved by drilling a hole through it - The problem with meditation - A perfect location for rebuilding Palmyra - Why Tom Cruise can worship lizards if he wants to It's all been a bit unsettling. But don't worry. If You'd Just Let Me Finish is Clarkson at his best. He may be as bemused, exasperated, amused and surprised as the rest of us, but in a world gone crazy, thank God someone has still got his head screwed on ... Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant...laugh-out-loud' - Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny...will have you in stiches' - Time Out 'Very funny...I cracked up laughing on the tube' - Evening Standard

For Crying Out Loud

For Crying Out Loud PDF Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0141038128
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 341

Book Description
Volume 3 of the 'World According to Clarkson' series

Driven to Distraction

Driven to Distraction PDF Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0141946288
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 366

Book Description
Jeremy Clarkson is once more Driven to Distraction. Brace yourself. Clarkson's back. And he'd like to tell you what he thinks about some of the most awe-inspiring, earth-shatteringly fast and jaw-droppingly cool cars in the world (oh, and a few irredeemable disasters...). Or he would if he could just get one or two things off his chest first. Matters such as: * The prospect of having Terry Wogan as president * Why you'll never see a woman driving a Lexus * The unforeseen consequences of inadequate birth control * Why everyone should spend a weekend with a digger Driven to Distraction is Jeremy Clarkson at full throttle. So buckle up, sit tight and enjoy the ride. You're in for a hell of a lot of laughs. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

Born to be Riled

Born to be Riled PDF Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0141901349
Category : Travel
Languages : en
Pages : 671

Book Description
Born to be Riled is a collection of hilarious vintage journalism from Jeremy Clarkson. Jeremy Clarkson, it has to said, sometimes finds the world a maddening place. And nowhere more so than from behind the wheel of a car, where you can see any number of people acting like lunatics while in control (or not) of a ton of metal. In this collection of classic columns, first published in 1999, Jeremy takes a look at the world through his windscreen, shakes his head at what he sees - and then puts the boot in. Among other things, he explains: • Why Surrey is worse than Wales • How crossing your legs in America can lead to arrest • The reason cable TV salesmen must be punched • That divorce can be blamed on the birth of Jesus Raving politicians, pointless celebrities, ridiculous 'personalities' and the Germans all get it in the neck, together with the stupid, the daft and the ludicrous, in a tour de force of comic writing guaranteed to have Jeremy's postman wheezing under sackfuls of letters from the easily offended. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out Number-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store. Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.

How Hard Can It Be?

How Hard Can It Be? PDF Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 014104876X
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 350

Book Description
Volume 4 in the bestselling World According to Clarkson series Jeremy Clarkson had a dream. A world where the nonsensical made sense, the idiotic was abolished and the sheer bloody brilliant was embraced. In How Hard Can It Be? our hero embarks on a quest to set the world to rights. Again. En-route he discovers how rhubarb will become the new crack, that a comb over will end anyone's quest for global domination and what unites a Filipino chambermaid in Abergavenny with Prince Andrew. For anyone who's ever woken up and thought the time has come to stop the nonsense and celebrate the sensational, read on. Because seriously, how hard can it be?
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