Mommy Drinks Because You Cry

Mommy Drinks Because You Cry PDF Author: Hannah Caner
Publisher: Castle Point Books
ISBN: 9781250119919
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Pull Mommy back from the edge with this irreverent adult coloring book! MOMMY DRINKS BECAUSE YOU CRY is the adult coloring book for the delightfully impolite. For the rare moments you have to yourself, enjoy the calming act of coloring with a little dose of sass. This collection of beautiful designs and fun illustrations are paired with the very best of all our worst thoughts, from “I child-proofed my house, but they still get in,” to “Home is where the vodka is.” Each hilariously captioned design is printed on sturdy, tear-out pages perfect for amusing decoration or passive-aggressive gift-giving. When you want to unwind with coloring but aren’t in the mood to embrace sunshine and daisies, MOMMY DRINKS BECAUSE YOU CRY is the perfect adult coloring book to let you speak your native sarcasm!

Mommy Drinks Because You Cry

Mommy Drinks Because You Cry PDF Author: Castle Point Books
Publisher: Castle Point Books
ISBN: 1250281768
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Bring Mommy back from the brink with a fun drink! Nap time is the new happy hour. Mommy Drinks Because You Cry is a book of ten clever pop-out coasters and reviving cocktail recipes that will dazzle any frazzled mom. Feel the liberation of a girls’ night out done right, or embrace that wine-mom attitude with a book full of easy-to-make, easy-to-imbibe drinks. When you need a reprieve from making miracles happen at all hours of the day, break out these hilarious coasters.

Reasons Mommy Drinks

Reasons Mommy Drinks PDF Author: Lyranda Martin-Evans
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0385349300
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 226

Book Description
A wickedly funny look at the challenges of new parenthood. With cocktail recipes. Being a new mom is “AHHHH! WHAT HAVE I DONE?” hard. Why are all these tiny clothes so expensive? Who wrote these mind-numbing board books? Will Mommy ever carry a purse again that’s not a diaper bag? And how is she even functioning off so little sleep? Reasons Mommy Drinks is a fresh, insightful, and hilarious collection of the various struggles faced by new parents—from mommy groups and single-people envy to the end of maternity leave—with a well-deserved cocktail recipe to go with each one. This must-have resource will help sleep-deprived new moms survive the baby years with their sense of humor, if not their lives as they once knew them, intact.

Drunk Mom

Drunk Mom PDF Author: Jowita Bydlowska
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0698156390
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 234

Book Description
“An intense, complex and disturbing story, bravely and beautifully told. I read Drunk Mom with my jaw on the floor, which doesn’t happen to me that often.” —Lena Dunham Three years after giving up drinking, Jowita Bydlowska found herself throwing back a glass of champagne like it was ginger ale. It was a special occasion: a party celebrating the birth of her first child. It also marked Bydlowska’s immediate, full-blown return to crippling alcoholism. In the gritty and sometimes grimly comic tradition of the bestselling memoirs Lit by Mary Karr and Smashed by Koren Zailckas, Drunk Mom is Bydlowska’s account of the ways substance abuse took control of her life—the binges and blackouts, the humiliations, the extraordinary risk-taking—as well as her fight toward recovery as a young mother. This courageous memoir brilliantly shines a light on the twisted logic of an addicted mind and the powerful, transformative love of one’s child. Ultimately it gives hope, especially to those struggling in the same way.

In the Water They Can't See You Cry

In the Water They Can't See You Cry PDF Author: Amanda Beard
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451644388
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 256

Book Description
In a candid and uplifting memoir, international swimming star Beard reveals the truth about coming of age in the Olympic spotlight, the demons she battled along the way, and her newfound happiness.

Confessions of a Scary Mommy

Confessions of a Scary Mommy PDF Author: Jill Smokler
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451673787
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 178

Book Description
Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV. In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t. If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years? When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere. I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier. Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection. My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context. But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation. I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower. The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization. I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer. If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club. I know why some animals eat their young. In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didn’t I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions. Sometimes I wish my son was still little—then I hear kids screaming at the store. As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.” Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood? STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS! I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me. I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business. I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.

Bad Mommy Moments

Bad Mommy Moments PDF Author: Cindy Kane
Publisher: Two Harbors Press
ISBN: 9781938690280
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 159

Book Description
Are you an overwhelmed, guilt-ridden mom? Are you secretly counting down the hours until bedtime? Are you completely ignoring your child to read the back of this book? Don't worry û you're not alone. Welcome to Bad Mommy Moments: those short periods of time (that feel like eternities) when you do something "bad" that will haunt you for the rest of the day. Or week. Or forever. Using a humorous compilation of prose, poetry, photography, and graphics, blogger Cindy Kane tracks the two-year storm of new motherhood through the mind of a woman who struggled to adjust. That is, until she traded in her dreams of perfect parenting for finding ways to laugh. At herself. And in laughter, she found unexpected hope. Bad Mommy Moments celebrates the days of new motherhood that SUCK. Because it's often after our worst moments that we realize how lucky we are. Book jacket.

Tiamat's Wrath

Tiamat's Wrath PDF Author: James S. A. Corey
Publisher: Orbit
ISBN: 0316332860
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 524

Book Description
The eighth book in the NYT bestselling Expanse series, Tiamat's Wrath finds the crew of the Rocinante fighting an underground war against a nearly invulnerable authoritarian empire, with James Holden a prisoner of the enemy. Now a Prime Original series. HUGO AWARD WINNER FOR BEST SERIES Thirteen hundred gates have opened to solar systems around the galaxy. But as humanity builds its interstellar empire in the alien ruins, the mysteries and threats grow deeper. In the dead systems where gates lead to stranger things than alien planets, Elvi Okoye begins a desperate search to discover the nature of a genocide that happened before the first human beings existed, and to find weapons to fight a war against forces at the edge of the imaginable. But the price of that knowledge may be higher than she can pay. At the heart of the empire, Teresa Duarte prepares to take on the burden of her father's godlike ambition. The sociopathic scientist Paolo Cordozar and the Mephistophelian prisoner James Holden are only two of the dangers in a palace thick with intrigue, but Teresa has a mind of her own and secrets even her father the emperor doesn't guess. And throughout the wide human empire, the scattered crew of the Rocinante fights a brave rear-guard action against Duarte's authoritarian regime. Memory of the old order falls away, and a future under Laconia's eternal rule -- and with it, a battle that humanity can only lose -- seems more and more certain. Because against the terrors that lie between worlds, courage and ambition will not be enough. . . The Expanse Leviathan Wakes Caliban's War Abaddon's Gate Cibola Burn Nemesis Games Babylon's Ashes Persepolis Rising Tiamat's Wrath ​Leviathan Falls Memory's Legion The Expanse Short Fiction Drive The Butcher of Anderson Station Gods of Risk The Churn The Vital Abyss Strange Dogs Auberon The Sins of Our Fathers

Sometimes I Lie

Sometimes I Lie PDF Author: Alice Feeney
Publisher: Flatiron Books
ISBN: 1250144833
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 272

Book Description
ALICE FEENEYS NEW YORK TIMES AND INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER “Boldly plotted, tightly knotted—a provocative true-or-false thriller that deepens and darkens to its ink-black finale. Marvelous.” —AJ Finn, author of The Woman in the Window My name is Amber Reynolds. There are three things you should know about me: 1. I’m in a coma. 2. My husband doesn’t love me anymore. 3. Sometimes I lie. Amber wakes up in a hospital. She can’t move. She can’t speak. She can’t open her eyes. She can hear everyone around her, but they have no idea. Amber doesn’t remember what happened, but she has a suspicion her husband had something to do with it. Alternating between her paralyzed present, the week before her accident, and a series of childhood diaries from twenty years ago, this brilliant psychological thriller asks: Is something really a lie if you believe it's the truth?

Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old

Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old PDF Author: Suzy Giordano
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0525949593
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 177

Book Description
There is no bigger issue for healthy infants than sleeping through the night. In this simple, straightforward book, Suzy Giordano presents her amazingly effective “Limited-Crying Solution” that will get any baby to sleep for twelve hours at night—and three hours in the day—by the age of twelve weeks old. Giordano is the mother of five children and one of the most sought-after baby sleep specialists in the country. The Washington Post calls her a baby sleep "guru" and "an underground legend in the Washington area for her ability to teach newborns how to achieve that parenting nirvana: sleeping through the night." Her sleep plan has been tested with singletons, twins, triplets, babies with special needs, and colicky babies—and it has never failed. Whether you are pregnant, first-time parents, or parents who seek a different path with your second or third child, anyone can benefit from the Baby Coach’s popular system of regular feeding times, twelve hours of sleep at night and three hours of sleep during the day, and the peace of mind that comes with taking the parent and child out of a sleep- deprived world.
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