The Velvet Rage

The Velvet Rage PDF Author: Alan Downs
Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books
ISBN: 9780738210612
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 224

Book Description
The gay male world today is characterized by seductive beauty, artful creativity, flamboyant sexuality, and, encouragingly, unprecedented acceptability in society. Yet despite the progress of the recent past, gay men still find themselves asking, "Are we really better off?" The inevitable byproduct of growing up gay in a straight world continues to be the internalization of shame, a shame gay men may strive to obscure with a fa?ade of beauty, creativity, or material success. Drawing on contemporary psychological research, the author's own journey to be free of anger and of shame, as well as the stories of many of his friends and clients, The Velvet Rage outlines the three distinct stages to emotional well-being for gay men. Offering profoundly beneficial strategies to stop the insidious cycle of avoidance and self-defeating behavior, The Velvet Rage is an empowering book that will influence the public discourse on gay culture, and positively change the lives of gay men who read it.

The Velvet Rage

The Velvet Rage PDF Author: Alan Downs
Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books
ISBN: 0738215856
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 274

Book Description
This groundbreaking and empowering book examines the impact of growing up and surviving as a gay man in a society still learning to accept all identities. In The Velvet Rage, psychologist Alan Downs draws on his own struggle with shame and anger, contemporary research, and stories from his patients to passionately describe the stages of a gay man's journey out of shame and offers practical and inspired strategies to stop the cycle of avoidance and self-defeating behavior. The Velvet Rage is an empowering book that has already changed the public discourse on gay culture and helped shape the identity of an entire generation of gay men.

Out of the Shadows

Out of the Shadows PDF Author: Walt Odets
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
ISBN: 0374719322
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 368

Book Description
A moving exploration of how gay men construct their identities, fight to be themselves, and live authentically It goes without saying that even today, it’s not easy to be gay in America. While young gay men often come out more readily, even those from the most progressive of backgrounds still struggle with the legacy of early-life stigma and a deficit of self-acceptance, which can fuel doubt, regret, and, at worst, self-loathing. And this is to say nothing of the ongoing trauma wrought by AIDS, which is all too often relegated to history. Drawing on his work as a clinical psychologist during and in the aftermath of the epidemic, Walt Odets reflects on what it means to survive and figure out a way to live in a new, uncompromising future, both for the men who endured the upheaval of those years and for the younger men who have come of age since then, at a time when an HIV epidemic is still ravaging the gay community, especially among the most marginalized. Through moving stories—of friends and patients, and his own—Odets considers how experiences early in life launch men on trajectories aimed at futures that are not authentically theirs. He writes to help reconstruct how we think about gay life by considering everything from the misleading idea of “the homosexual,” to the diversity and richness of gay relationships, to the historical role of stigma and shame and the significance of youth and of aging. Crawling out from under the trauma of destructive early-life experience and the two epidemics, and into a century of shifting social values, provides an opportunity to explore possibilities rather than live with limitations imposed by others. Though it is drawn from decades of private practice, activism, and life in the gay community, Odets’s work achieves remarkable universality. At its core, Out of the Shadows is driven by his belief that it is time that we act based on who we are and not who others are or who they would want us to be. We—particularly the young—must construct our own paths through life. Out of the Shadows is a necessary, impassioned argument for how and why we must all take hold of our futures.

Straight Jacket

Straight Jacket PDF Author: Matthew Todd
Publisher: Black Swan
ISBN: 9780552778404
Category : Gay men
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Written by Matthew Todd, editor of Attitude, the UK's best-selling gay magazine, Straight Jacket is a revolutionary clarion call for gay men, the wider LGBT community, their friends and family. Part memoir, part ground-breaking polemic, it looks beneath the shiny facade of contemporary gay culture and asks if gay people are as happy as they could be - and if not, why not? In an attempt to find the answers to this and many other difficult questions, Matthew Todd explores why statistics show a disproportionate number of gay people suffer from mental health problems, including anxiety, depression, addiction, suicidal thoughts and behaviour, and why significant numbers experience difficulty in sustaining meaningful relationships.

Discomfortable

Discomfortable PDF Author: A.J. Bond
Publisher: North Atlantic Books
ISBN: 1623175569
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 346

Book Description
The go-to guide to understand and unpack shame: what it is, why we feel it, and how to undo the lies it tells us about ourselves. Are you ready to get Discomfortable? This is a book about shame: what it is, why we have it, and how we can break its hold on our happiness. We all know shame: it's that feeling that tells us that somehow, who we are is inherently wrong. It's more than embarrassment or regret: it shakes us to the core. And most of all, it tells us that we need to be, feel, and act differently in order to be seen, loved, and accepted. Author and "shame-ed" coach AJ Bond takes us through his own shame breakthrough, sharing how he went from I'd rather die than be gay to uncovering and reclaiming his inherent wholeness and worth. With unexpected humor, warmth, and candid personal stories, Bond shows readers: Why shame shows up--the trauma, fixed mindsets, and messaging that give it a foothold How shame tricks you into believing there's something wrong with you, even when you're perfectly right The evolutionary reasons we humans developed a sense of shame (and why it doesn't serve us today) How to manage and deprogram shame through connection, gratitude, and empowered choice How we can re-parent ourselves, be fully seen, and feel fully loved Bond shines a light on this feeling that doesn't want to be seen, heard, or named--and invites us to bring our own shame into the open and release it to reclaim and reframe our lives in a powerful new way.

10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives

10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives PDF Author: Joe Kort
Publisher: ReadHowYouWant.com
ISBN: 1459608429
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 322

Book Description
Openly gay therapist Joe Kort provides 10 powerful and positive steps gay men can take to isolate and overcome self-defeating behavior patterns, and move in healthier and more rewarding directions: Take Charge of Their Own Lives Affirm Themselves by Coming Out Resolve Differences With Parents and Relatives 'Graduate' From Delayed Adolescence Avoid - or Overcome - Sexual Addiction -Learn from Successful Mentors Whove Been There, Done That Take Advantage of 'Therapy Workouts' Achieve - and Maintain - Rewarding Relationships Understand the Stages of Loves Commit to Their Partner.These solid and reliable 'Top 10' life steps that have been most helpful to Joe Korts clients in his 16 years of working with hundreds of gay men, are presented in an engaging and easy-to-understand manner and are supplemented by case histories from his practice. These are time-tested, practical decisions gay men can make in their search for emotional, sexual and personal fulfillment

Coming Out of Shame

Coming Out of Shame PDF Author: Gershen Kaufman
Publisher: Doubleday Books
ISBN:
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 312

Book Description
Gershen Kaufman and Lev Raphael expose the role shame has come to play in the lives of gay men and lesbians. The authors break the silence surrounding gay and lesbian experience so that individuals can "come out" of shame and begin a path toward personal growth and acceptance.

The Best Little Boy in the World

The Best Little Boy in the World PDF Author: Andrew Tobias
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345381769
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 257

Book Description
The classic account of growing up gay in America. "The best little boy in the world never had wet dreams or masturbated; he always topped his class, honored mom and dad, deferred to elders and excelled in sports . . . . The best little boy in the world was . . . the model IBM exec . . . The best little boy in the world was a closet case who 'never read anything about homosexuality.' . . . John Reid comes out slowly, hilariously, brilliantly. One reads this utterly honest account with the shock of recognition." The New York Times "The quality of this book is fantastic because it comes of equal parts honesty and logic and humor. It is far from being the story of a Gay crusader, nor is it the story of a closet queen. It is the story of a normal boy growing into maturity without managing to get raped into, or taunted because of, his homosexuality. . . . He is bright enough to be aware of his hangups and the reasons for them. And he writes well enough that he doesn't resort to sensationalism . . . ." San Francisco Bay Area Reporter

This is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids

This is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids PDF Author: Dannielle Owens-Reid
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 1452142424
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 244

Book Description
Written in an accessible Q&A format, here, finally, is the go-to resource for parents hoping to understand and communicate with their gay child. Through their LGBTQ-oriented site, the authors are uniquely experienced to answer parents' many questions and share insight and guidance on both emotional and practical topics. Filled with real-life experiences from gay kids and parents, this is the book gay kids want their parents to read.

A Gay Man's Guide to Life

A Gay Man's Guide to Life PDF Author: Britt East
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781544509235
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 274

Book Description
Many gay men find ourselves trapped in a series of no-win situations. If we don't live honestly and openly, we won't have the skills, wisdom, or relationships necessary to manifest our dreams. But when we do come out, we must confront the full force of societal homophobia, and consider a variety of questions: Can we create family without mimicking the norms of straight society? How do we cultivate sustainable gay friendships amidst our internalized homophobia? In a world of hook-up apps and disposable relationships, how do we find lasting love? A Gay Man's Guide to Life answers these questions. Britt East presents an approachable, no-nonsense path for gay men, to set down the excuses and get to the business of improving their lives. No new-age mumbo jumbo or wishy washy self-help jargon. Just real work focused on real results to unleash our true selves and unlock our best lives.
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