Author: Gordon Hideaki Nagai Publisher: Simon and Schuster ISBN: 1612435904 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 118
Book Description
A MASSIVE COLLECTION OF LAUGHABLE, CHEESY JOKES PERFECT FOR AMUSING DADS WHILE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING THE KIDS As groan-inducing as they are hilarious, dad jokes are the punny one-liners and oh-so-clever quips fathers never tire of telling. With this massive collection, no Dad will ever lack new material to make his kids facepalm: • A watermelon and a honeydew wanted to get married right away, but they cantaloupe. • After Humpty Dumpty recovered from his fall, he was just a shell of his former self. • Sign language interpreters have to lean sideways to translate something in italics. • Anyone with a wheat allergy that routinely eats pasta is just a gluten for punishment. • A chord walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “We don’t serve minors.”
Author: Ian Allen Publisher: Portico ISBN: 1909396095 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 178
Book Description
Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that ‘it’s in the way that you tell them’, Dads – for the best part of forever – have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it’s telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say – jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers – but don’t tell your dad that, it’ll only encourage him!
Author: Gary Rowley Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub ISBN: 9781479241644 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 114
Book Description
A relentless barrage of zany, off-the-wall humour, 1001 jokes, puns and one-liners, plumbed exclusively from the innermost depths and far-out corridors of an extremely vivid imagination. You won't have encountered anything like this addictive little beauty before; not a swear word in sight, it would be equally at home in the hands of kids or grandmas, whilst still supplying sufficient ammunition to torment your mates into submission. Guaranteed to put a smile on your face, and no wonder with jokes like these: Mobile phones have been around longer than people think. I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger. I was considering investing in a Chinese distillery but decided against it. Whiskey business. I went to the waxworks but legged it when I saw this woman coming towards me, swinging a pair of giant blades. I discovered later it was Madame Two Swords. Michael Phelps and the Thorpedo: they think they're God's gift to swimming. As an ex-paratrooper, I definitely thought my bill for dental work was a bridge too far. I had a real bad accident at the saw mill. My other half says we should sue for compensation. I've just lost my job at the snuff factory. I was sacked for pinching. I walked into Leeds station and asked the route to Bristol. I said, is it Leeds to Sheffield, then Derby, Birmingham, Cheltenham Spa and Gloucester? He said, it's somewhere along those lines. Someone said there was a decent turn on at the working men's club. When I got there, it was an Arctic sea bird with a big, yellow beak. I found my hotel bathroom stuffed with chickens. It was hen-suite. Boy racers. They're the torque of the town. Every time it's nice outside, there's this American pop duo that stand on a street corner, giving money away. It's Sunny and Share.
Author: Milton Berle Publisher: Crown ISBN: 0517587165 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 674
Book Description
One of the legends of show biz delves into his personal treasury of jokes ("The most comprehensive storehouse of 20th-century humor in the world"--Los Angeles Magazine) to present the most astounding array of one-liners, anecdotes, quips, and gags ever published. Line drawings.
Author: Martin Gurri Publisher: Stripe Press ISBN: 1953953344 Category : Political Science Languages : en Pages : 465
Book Description
How insurgencies—enabled by digital devices and a vast information sphere—have mobilized millions of ordinary people around the world. In the words of economist and scholar Arnold Kling, Martin Gurri saw it coming. Technology has categorically reversed the information balance of power between the public and the elites who manage the great hierarchical institutions of the industrial age: government, political parties, the media. The Revolt of the Public tells the story of how insurgencies, enabled by digital devices and a vast information sphere, have mobilized millions of ordinary people around the world. Originally published in 2014, The Revolt of the Public is now available in an updated edition, which includes an extensive analysis of Donald Trump’s improbable rise to the presidency and the electoral triumphs of Brexit. The book concludes with a speculative look forward, pondering whether the current elite class can bring about a reformation of the democratic process and whether new organizing principles, adapted to a digital world, can arise out of the present political turbulence.
Author: Hugh Murmie Publisher: ISBN: Category : Languages : en Pages : 108
Book Description
New for 2020! Easy Father's Day gift for your favorite guy! The Ultimate Dad Joke Book is jam packed with family friendly, clean and hysterical jokes that are great for everyone from your toddler to your great-grandma! Buckle up and get ready for some knee slapping, head shaking and gut busting laughter every time you flip a page. Over 500 hilarious jokes, puns and one-liners Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages Great selection of time honored classics and all new jokes for 2020 Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!
Author: M. C. Jepsen Publisher: ISBN: Category : Languages : en Pages : 103
Book Description
Why are mountain ranges funny? Because they're hill areas. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Garbage collectors don't need formal education to get hired. They pick it up as they go along. That awkward silence that left you longing for an awkward joke - make the moment less awkward. That one coworker that rattles off knee slappers with a breeze - now you can be her! It's your turn to give the jokers in your life (friends, dads, moms, uncles, aunts, siblings, spouses, neighbors) their own embarrassingly cringey eye roll. Maybe you need a chuckle. Or your friend does. Your friend definitely does. Yep, and your dad. Father's Day is coming up. Get them a copy! From groans to trombones we've collected, created, and curated the best dad jokes. 1001 of them to be exact (technically a lot more). And... edited for content! (One of our editors had a perfect score on the GMAT writing portion and creates content professionally got your eyes rolling already). We wanted a great dad joke book and read critical reviews and thought - why not make our own! We took notes, removed duplicates, and leaned on grammar sticklers. We also tried to tone down the religion/politics/drugs/sex stuff - but kept some edge (watch for uncle jokes book). Still not ready to buy? You don't want to commit. That's cool. Click on the author link by the title and check out our Express Edition for just a dollar/euro/pound. Or, check out all of the jokes in each of four sections for free with your Kindle Unlimited subscription! Wait, who are you again? So, yeah. Years ago, the genesis of the jokes... We didn't know, but a cascade of events would take us from devilishly charming unbridled singles to diaper changing, tantrum calming, homework assisting, bug killing dads (and moms). Somehow we got from cruising the late night bar/club/festival scene to towing babies/toddlers/kids to happy hours with our supportive partners before rushing home to crash (hopefully after the kids). Along the way, corny (successful!) pickup lines morphed into dad jokes as we picked up a few responsibilities, lost a little hair, and added a few pounds/kilos. Really, though, our jokes are for everyone. You don't have to be a dad (or mom) or even like kids (sometimes we don't!) to enjoy, obvs. We hope a bit of humour will brighten your days...
Author: R. Cristi Publisher: Psylon Press ISBN: 9780986600401 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 82
Book Description
Some random Mexican jokes from the book: A big tough Mexican man married a good-looking Mexican lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules: "Honey, I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules! Any comments?" His lovely new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at eight o'clock every night - whether you're here or not." *** A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane. The German sticks his hand out and says "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know," the German says, "Because it's so cold." Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says "We are in Australia," the others ask "How do you know," he replies "Because it's so warm." Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico," the others ask "How do you know," he says " Because my watch is gone" *** What's a Mexican favorite book store? Borders. Did you hear about that one Mexican that went to college? Yeah.. me neither. How do you stop a Mexican tank? Shoot the guy pushing it. What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower? Unemployed. What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike? Chase after him, it's probably yours! Why are Mexicans so short? They all live in basement apartments. Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans? Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time? How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? They don't work in the future, either. What do you call a Mexican in a two-story house? Adopted. Why do Mexican kids walk around school like they own the place? Because their dads built it and their mom clean it. 2 Mexicans are in a car, who is driving? A cop. Buy the book to read 100s more Mexican jokes!
Author: Charna Halpern Publisher: Meriwether Publishing ISBN: 9781566080033 Category : Improvisation (Acting) Languages : en Pages : 164
Book Description
The 'Harold', an innovative improvisational tool, helped many actors on the road to TV and film stardom, including George Wendt (Norm on Cheers). Now it is described fully in this new book for would-be actors and comics. The 'Harold' is a form of competitive improv involving 6 or 7 players. They take a theme suggestion from the audience and 'free associate' on the theme into a series of rapid-fire one-liners that build into totally unpredictable skits with hilarious results. The 'Harold' is a fun way to 'loosen up' and learn to think quickly, build continuity, develop characterisations and sharpen humour.
Author: Sara Nelson Publisher: Penguin ISBN: 9780425198193 Category : Biography & Autobiography Languages : en Pages : 260
Book Description
“Will make many readers smile with recognition.”—The New Yorker “Readaholics, meet your new best friend.”—People “This book is bliss.”—The Boston Globe Sometimes subtle, sometimes striking, the interplay between our lives and our books is the subject of this unique memoir by well-known publishing correspondent and self-described “readaholic” Sara Nelson. The project began as an experiment with a simple plan—fifty-two weeks, fifty-two books—that fell apart in the first week. It was then that Sara realized the books chose her as much as she chose them, and the rewards and frustrations they brought were nothing she could plan for. From Solzhenitsyn to Laura Zigman, Catherine M. to Captain Underpants, the result is a personal chronicle of insight, wit, and enough infectious enthusiasm to make a passionate reader out of anybody.
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Author: Gordon Hideaki Nagai
Author: Ian Allen
Author: Gary Rowley
Author: Milton Berle
Author: Martin Gurri 
Author: Hugh Murmie
Author: M. C. Jepsen
Author: R. Cristi
Author: Charna Halpern
Author: Sara Nelson