Do Ants Have Assholes?

Author: Jon Butler
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
ISBN: 1402247397
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 194

Book Description
"Every year, one funny book seems to stand out from all the others. This year, it's Do Ants Have [Assholes]?…a rip-roaring parody" Spectator "The book being touted as this year's can't-miss, downstairs-loo-fixture of a dead-cert publishing-phenomenon-sensation" Guardian "A very funny spoof of pop-science collections" Daily Telegraph A venerable and historic newspaper, the Old Geezer is read and respected by the world's most conscientious, upright citizens. When these beacons of respectability have serious questions, they turn to the Old Geezer's "Questions and Answers" page. Do Ants Have Assholes? collects the enlightening answers to thought-provoking questions such as: If you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant, what do you do? How many men would it take to kill an elephant with their bare hands? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown? Are "crabs" related to crabs? What if there were no hypothetical questions?

Do Bats Have Bollocks?

Author: Jon Butler
Publisher: Sphere
ISBN: 0748111042
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 174

Book Description
The letters page of Old Git magazine continues to offer its readers an opportunity to ask and provide answers to the most pressing questions of our times. Questions such as: Would it help global warming if I left my fridge door open? What's the riskiest game of risk ever played? If I fell down a disused mineshaft would Lassie really run and get help, or just sit there licking his balls? Do Bats Have Bollocks? features a host of completely new and untrue questions and answers. With bags more rude jokes, shaggy dog stories and the odd entry from a new, bewildered editor who's wondering what the hell he's got himself into, this book is every bit as laugh-out-loud funny as last year's hugely successful volume Do Ants Have Arseholes?

Do Ants Have Arseholes?

Author: Jon Butler
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : Questions and answers
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Provides a very funny, very silly collection of answers to questions you never thought you wanted to ask, but will feel all the better for knowing.

Does Anything Eat Wasps

Author: New Scientist
Publisher: John Murray
ISBN: 1473651328
Category : Science
Languages : en
Pages : 164

Book Description
Every year, readers send in thousands of questions to New Scientist, the world's best-selling science weekly, in the hope that the answers to them will be given in the 'Last Word' column - regularly voted the most popular section of the magazine. Does Anything Eat Wasps? is a collection of the best that have appeared, including: Why can't we eat green potatoes? Why do airliners suddenly plummet? Does a compass work in space? Why do all the local dogs howl at emergency sirens? How can a tree grow out of a chimney stack? Why do bruises go through a range of colours? Why is the sea blue inside caves? Many seemingly simple questions are actually very complex to answer. And some that seem difficult have a very simple explanation. New Scientist's 'Last Word' celebrates all questions - the trivial, the idiosyncratic, the baffling and the strange. This selection of the best is popular science at its most entertaining and enlightening.

Five Go Absolutely Nowhere

Author: Bruno Vincent
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1529412102
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 72

Book Description
'Ah! This is the dream!' says Julian one morning. 'With good old British common sense and community spirit like this, there's no reason that we couldn't exist on the island like this for the rest of our days!' What could possibly go wrong . . .? Anne has gathered Julian, Dick, George and, of course, Timmy, together for a last nostalgic jaunt in the countryside together before grown-up responsibilities take the four cousins off in different directions. It's only natural that they find their way onto Kirrin Island for a look around, as this might be the last time they're here together as a group. They are planning just to spend the night there and come home the next day, perhaps with a little exploring in the dungeon for old time's sake. But that night they hear the country has gone into lockdown. They are not allowed to leave. With their usual resourcefulness, they are determined to make the best of it, and remain cheerful and healthy. As Anne keeps saying: They're lucky, really, to have all this countryside and fresh air at their disposal!

Why Don't Penguins' Feet Freeze?

Author: New Scientist
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416546685
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 225

Book Description
• What time is it at the North Pole? • What's the chemical formula for a human being? • Why do boomerangs come back? • Why do flying fish fly? • Do the living really outnumber the dead? • Why does lightning fork? • Why does the end of a whip crack? Everyone has at one time or another thought up odd questions like these, questions that are strange, intriguing, maybe even impossible to answer. Making your morning omelet, perhaps you've wondered why most eggs are egg shaped. Or maybe, the last time you walked on the beach, you felt compelled to ask why the sea is salty. Watching Polly sit on her perch, have you ever marveled at how she stays there -- even when she's asleep? Well, the readers of New Scientist's wildly popular, long-running column "The Last Word" thought of these questions, too, and weren't afraid to ask them. Why Don't Penguins' Feet Freeze? is a brilliant collection of questions and answers for everyone who enjoyed the international, runaway bestseller Does Anything Eat Wasps? Guaranteed to amaze, inform, and delight with topics such as the human body, plants and animals, weird weather, and our wacky world, it'll stump you, enlighten you, entertain and amuse you.

Five Give Up the Booze

Author: Bruno Vincent
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1786482274
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 78

Book Description
Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront a new challenge: give up the booze. Give up alcohol you say? Why, of course they can! Talk about an easy challenge! Five old friends set about this simple task and find all of a sudden that: the days are longer; they get to see each other for who they really are; the empty laughter of ordinary conversation is so much harder to fake. Yes, they're saving money and losing weight, but the world itself seems to take on a slow, dreary inevitability. Soon they begin to snap at each other, and then fight - until they begin to wonder, have the Five at last found the challenge that will defeat them? The perfect gift for anyone who has woken up and promised themselves that they will never drink again. Or at least until next weekend.

Five Forget Mother's Day

Author: Bruno Vincent
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1786486873
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 75

Book Description
Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to show Aunt Fanny how much she means to them. Join Julian, George, Dick, Anne and Timmy the dog as they try to celebrate Mother's Day with Aunt Fanny. George has past form in forgetting - not least her mum's birthday and Christmas presents - so tensions are running high even for the charged normality of their mother/daughter bond. But things go from bad to worse when Fanny comes to stay, with relations strained almost to breaking point. Can the Five save the day, and will Uncle Quentin get involved?

The Secret Diary of Mario Balotelli

Author: Bruno Vincent
Publisher: Sphere
ISBN: 1405516097
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 136

Book Description
'He's a total rock 'n' roller. There's a bit of Mario in all of us - well, maybe not Gary Neville - but the rest of us most definitely.' Noel Gallagher He may be football's latest superstar, but Mario Balotelli is just as famous off the pitch for his eccentricity and extraordinary antics. From the time he let off fireworks in his bathroom to the notorious bib incident, he's rarely out of the news. But in his secret diary*, as we follow Mario through one turbulent football season and the trail of mayhem he leaves in his wake, we discover that the headlines only tell half the story. Whether he's hiding Silvio Berlusconi in his basement, patrolling the streets of Manchester as a caped crusader or trying to be the first Premiership footballer to go to the moon, the truth is stranger, and much funnier, than we could have expected. *not the actual diary of Mario Balotelli

Five on Brexit Island

Author: Bruno Vincent
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 1786483858
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 80

Book Description
It is the night of the referendum and the Five have retired to Kirrin Island to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine, fed up with the rancour of public debate. George is firmly a 'remainer,' whilst Julian, who is in the 'Brexit' camp, is tolerated on the grounds that Anne cannot bear to go camping without him. (Timmy, largely apolitical but not keen on cats or rabbits, joins them too.) The night is tempestuous in more ways than one. George has managed to rig up a satellite link with the mainland so they can keep abreast of the news, and they sit huddled around the fire, amidst some tension, as George's initial hope that the 'remainers' will triumph proves premature . . . Meanwhile, a violent storm whips up. The damage is apparent as the new day dawns and George declares a new meaning for Brexit: Kirrin Island is exiting Britain. . . . that is until the red tape becomes too much of a challenge and their happy life together is under threat.