They Call Me Naughty Lola

Author: David Rose
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416545042
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 176

Book Description
I've divorced better men than you. And worn more expensive shoes than these. So don't think placing this ad is the biggest comedown I've ever had to make. Sensitive F, 34. Employed in publishing? Me too. Stay the hell away. Man on the inside seeks woman on the outside who likes milling around hospitals guessing the illnesses of out-patients. 30-35. Leeds. They Call Me Naughty Lola is a testament to the creativity and humor that can still be found among men and women longing for love and allergic to the concepts of Internet and speed dating. Here is an irresistible collection of the most brilliant and often absurd personal ads from the world's funniest -- and most erudite -- lonely-hearts column. The ads have been called "surreal haikus of the heart," and in an age of false advertising, the men and women who write them are hindered neither by high expectations nor by positivism of any kind. And yet, while hopes of finding a suitable mate remain low, the column has produced a handful of marriages, many friendships, and at least one divorce. Here are the young, old, fat, bald, healthy, ill, rich, and poor hoping that they can find true love, or at the very least, someone to call them Naughty Lola.

"They Call Me Naughty Lola"

Author: David Rose
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : Personals
Languages : en
Pages : 165

Book Description

They Call Me Naughty Lola

Author: David Rose
Publisher: Profile Business
ISBN: 9781861978295
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Since 1998, the world's most erudite readers have congregated in the small ads section of the London Review of Books in the hope of finding love. This text brings together the work of the 'edgy', the 'irascible' and the 'flatulent' to provide a glimpse into the most notorious, endearing and funny lonely hearts ads.

Whoops! But It Wasn't Me

Author: Lauren Child
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101588101
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 36

Book Description
Charlie has this little sister, Lola. Lola has been playing with Charlie’s very special rocket. Charlie says, “Did you break my rocket?” Lola says, “You absolutely told me to not ever never touch it… ever.”

Sexually, I'm More of a Switzerland

Author: David Rose
Publisher: Picador
ISBN: 9780330519007
Category : Personals
Languages : en
Pages : 178

Book Description
Personal ads -- men and women of all ages, backgrounds and aspirations, laying their souls bare and their hearts on the line -- are the modern world's equivalent of the Japanese haiku . . . or something like that, anyway. Painstakingly crafted, finely honed and, above all, short, they offer an endearing, intriguing and, often, amusing glimpse into the lives of those looking for love. Amid the witty one-liners and laugh-out-punchlines, there is pathos and passion aplenty; there is hope, longing and even good old-fashioned lust; there is romance, regret, ambition, and, occasionally, a hint of bitterness. Whatever the tone, however, these ads make for engrossing reading. Organized into themes ('Mentally, I'm a size eight' and 'Forty years ago I was going to marry Elvis') and fully annotated, Sexually, I'm more of a Switzerland is the perfect gift for the man or woman in your life -- as well as single friends everywhere. 'Woman, 36. WLTM man who doesn't try to high-five her after sex'

Honky Tonk Hero

Author: Billy Joe Shaver
Publisher: University of Texas Press
ISBN: 9780292706132
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 220

Book Description
Willie Nelson says, "Billy Joe Shaver may be the best songwriter alive today." And legions of fans agree. "Honky Tonk Hero" is the story of a man who not only walked on the wild side and lived to tell about it, but also got it all down in songs that many people consider to be some of the finest country songs ever written.

Santa Responds

Author: Santa Claus
Publisher: Running Press Adult
ISBN: 0786741058
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 116

Book Description
Ever wonder what Santa does with all those letters? (And all those cookies?) After a particularly long, cold night staring at nine smelly reindeer butts, the old man lets loose with the real answers to those stupid, whiny, hard-to-read letters from kids. Turns out, we really do get what we deserve. Dear Billy, I know you honestly believe that the good deeds you rattled off represent your behavior for the entire past year rather than the activities that occurred during the two hours leading up to the writing of this letter. Two hours of good behavior hardly justifies a new Playstation, let alone a trip to Disney World!! Your pal, Santa

The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love

Author: Jill Conner Browne
Publisher: Crown Archetype
ISBN: 1400082854
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 225

Book Description
To know the Sweet Potato Queens is to love them, and if you haven't heard about them yet, you will. Since the early 1980s, this group of belles gone bad has been the toast of Jackson, Mississippi, with their glorious annual appearance in the St. Patrick's Day parade. In The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love, their royal ringleader, Jill Conner Browne, introduces the Queens to the world with this sly, hilarious manifesto about love, life, men, and the importance of being prepared. Chapters include: • The True Magic Words Guaranteed to Get Any Man to Do Your Bidding • The Five Men You Must Have in Your Life at All Times • Men Who May Need Killing, Quite Frankly • What to Eat When Tragedy Strikes, or Just for Entertainment • The Best Advice Ever Given in the Entire History of the World From tales of the infamous Sweet Potato Queens' Promise to the joys of Chocolate Stuff and Fat Mama's Knock You Naked Margaritas, this irreverent, shamelessly funny book is the gen-u-wine article.

Best Friends

Author: Jacqueline Wilson
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1407046292
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 224

Book Description
Gemma and Alice were born on the same day and have been devoted best friends ever since. Despite Gemma's larger-than-life personality and Alice's quieter, calmer character, the two are inseparable - until Alice has to move house, all the way to Scotland. Gemma is utterly distraught, particularly at the thought that Alice might find a new best friend. Is there anything Gem's brothers, or perhaps her grandad, can do to help?

Sexually, I'm More of a Switzerland

Author: David Rose
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 143913149X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 194

Book Description
Straight from British shores, here is another dose of love, or the lack of it, from the pages of the London Review of Books. The editor of They Call Me Naughty Lola has cooked up yet another irresistible collection of brilliant, bawdy and often absurd personal ads from the world's funniest, and smartest, lonely-hearts column. These ads prove that even if you're lonely, you don't have to be boring, as advertisers in this book demand much more than long walks on the beach and candlelit dinners from their potential mates. Arranged by theme ('The Usual Hyperbole and a Whiff of Playful Narcissism'), and including footnotes to obscure references, Sexually, I'm More of a Switzerland promises to be 'a naughty treat' (Entertainment Weekly).