Author: Celia Rivenbark Publisher: Macmillan ISBN: 9780312343422 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 244
Book Description
What's the Southern woman's take on fried turkeys, Barbie and Ken, politicians and marital success? Rivenbark tackles these and other lard-laden subjects in a hilarious look at foibles.
Author: Celia Rivenbark Publisher: St. Martin's Press ISBN: 1250038413 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 272
Book Description
In this always sensible and mildly profane etiquette manual for the modern age Celia Rivenbark addresses real-life quandaries ranging from how to deal with braggy playground moms to wondering if you can have sex in your aunt's bed on vacation to correctly grieving the dearly departed (hint: it doesn't include tattoos or truck decals). Rude Bitches Make Me Tired will provide answers to all your mannerly questions as Celia discusses the social conundrums of our day and age, including: Navigating the agonies of check splitting ("Who had the gorgonzola crumbles and should we really care?")The baffling aspects of airline travel (such as "Recline Monster" and other animals)The art of the visit (always leave them wanting more . . . much more)Gym and locker etiquette (hint: no one wants to talk to you while you're buck naked)Office manners ("Loud talkers, cake hawkers, and Britney Sue's unfortunate cyst")And much more! Good manners have never been so wickedly funny!
Author: Celia Rivenbark Publisher: Macmillan + ORM ISBN: 1429908254 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 292
Book Description
"On the short drive to the preschool, I dutifully unwrap a NutriGrain bar and toss it into the back seat to my four-year-old. Sometimes I'll even unwrap one for myself. Studies have shown that it's very important for familes to eat together. . . . " Why couldn't the Sopranos survive living down South? Simple. You can't shoot a guy full of holes after eating chicken and pastry, spoon bread, okra, and tomatoes. What does a Southern woman consider grounds for divorce? When Daddy takes the kids out in public dressed in pajama tops and Tweety Bird swim socks. Again. What is the Southern woman's opinion of a new "fat virus" theory? Bring it on! We've got a lot of skinny friends we need to sneeze on. Want to become honest-to-Jesus white trash? Spend two weeks' salary on hair extensions and pancake makeup for your three-year-old so she can win a five-dollar trophy in the Wee Tiny Miss pageant and the adoration of, well, nobody much. What does the Southern woman think of Paul McCartney's marriage to a model thirty years younger? We're not surprised. Statistically speaking, it's almost impossible for billionaires to discover that their soulmates are fifty-five and restocking the shampoo end caps at Kmart. In this wickedly funny follow-up to her bestselling Bless Your Heart, Tramp, Celia Rivenbark welcomes you, once again, to the south she loves, the land of "Mama and them's," "precious and dahlin," and mommies who mow. Ya'll come back now, you hear.
Author: Craig Thompson Friend Publisher: University of Georgia Press ISBN: 0820336742 Category : Social Science Languages : en Pages : 298
Book Description
The follow-up to the critically acclaimed collection Southern Manhood: Perspectives on Masculinity in the Old South (Georgia, 2004), Southern Masculinity explores the contours of southern male identity from Reconstruction to the present. Twelve case studies document the changing definitions of southern masculine identity as understood in conjunction with identities based on race, gender, age, sexuality, and geography. After the Civil War, southern men crafted notions of manhood in opposition to northern ideals of masculinity and as counterpoint to southern womanhood. At the same time, manliness in the South--as understood by individuals and within communities--retained and transformed antebellum conceptions of honor and mastery. This collection examines masculinity with respect to Reconstruction, the New South, racism, southern womanhood, the Sunbelt, gay rights, and the rise of the Christian Right. Familiar figures such as Arthur Ashe are investigated from fresh angles, while other essays plumb new areas such as the womanless wedding and Cherokee masculinity.
Author: Mark Twain Publisher: Univ of California Press ISBN: 0520905008 Category : Literary Criticism Languages : en Pages : 498
Book Description
From the Introduction:It should always be with some misgivings that an editor presents to the public materials which an author has discarded. By returning the materials to his files, the author has voted against publication. By resurrecting them, the editor risks exposing the author to the adverse criticism which he wished to avoid. But, at the same time, the resurrection serves a valuable purpose by making available indispensable evidence to be used by those seeking to understand the creative process. It is because they serve such a purpose that the texts published in this volume have been salvaged from Mark Twain's files. Indeed, they are doubly valuable because they aid in dispelling a myth about his own creative process which Twain himself did much to establish. In several instances Twain gave the impression that for him plotting a novel was a rather simple affair. . . . But in actuality, as the texts published in this volume illustrate, he experienced much more trouble than this statement would suggest in delimiting his fictional world, establishing its nature, and maintaining control over the characters placed therin.
Author: Celia Rivenbark Publisher: St. Martin's Press ISBN: 142992991X Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 302
Book Description
Bestselling Author of We're Just Like You, Only Prettier and Bless Your Heart, Tramp Hang on to your hats! We're in for some fiercely funny weather and crackling-sharp observations from Celia Rivenbark, of whom USA Today has said, "Think Dave Barry with a female point of view." With her incomparable style and sassy southern wit, you'll hear from Celia on: --The joys of remodeling Tara --How Harry Potter bitch-slaps Nancy Drew --Britney's To-Do list: pick okra, cover that thang up --How rugby-playing lesbians torpedoed beach day --Why French women suck at competitive eating --The truth about nature deficit disorder --The difference between cockroaches and water bugs --The beauty of Bedazzlers And much, much more! Whether she's doing her taxes or extolling the virtues of Madonna's mothering skills, Celia Rivenbark will keep you laughing until the very last page.
Author: Celia Rivenbark Publisher: Macmillan + ORM ISBN: 1429918810 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 169
Book Description
Celia Rivenbark's essays about life in today's South are like caramel popcorn---sweet, salty, and utterly irresistible Celia Rivenbark is a master at summing up the South in all its glorious excesses and contradictions. In this collection of screamingly funny essays, you'll discover: * How to get your kid into a character breakfast at Disneyworld (or run the risk of eating chicken out of a bucket with Sneezy) * Secrets of Celebrity Moms (don't hate them because they're beautiful when there are so many other reasons to hate them) * EBay addiction and why "It ain't worth having if it ain't on eBay" (Whoa! Is that Willie Nelson's face in your grits?) * Why today's children's clothes make six-year-olds look like Vegas showgirls with an abundance of anger issues * And so much more! Rivenbark is an intrepid explorer and acid commentator on the land south of the Mason-Dixon line.
Author: Celia Rivenbark Publisher: Macmillan ISBN: 1429952016 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 254
Book Description
From the author of the bestselling classics We're Just Like You, Only Prettier, and Bless Your Heart, Tramp, comes a collection of essays so funny, you'll shoot co'cola out of your nose. Topics include such gems as: • Why Miss North Carolina is too nice to hate • How Gwyneth Paltrow wants to improve your pathetic life • Strapped for cash? Try cat whispering • Sex every night for a year? How do you wrap that? • Get yer Wassail on: It's carolin' time • Airlines serving up one hot mess • Action figure Jesus • Why Clay Aiken ain't marrying your glandular daughter • And much more! Complete with a treasure trove of Celia's genuine southern recipes, You Can't Drink All Day if You Don't Start in the Morning is sure to appeal to anyone who lives south of something.
Author: Celia Rivenbark Publisher: St. Martin's Press ISBN: 1466843098 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 47
Book Description
In this short e-original The Height of Rudeness, readers will get 5 essays - one never-before-published and 4 "sneak peeks" at the kind of manners advice Celia Rivenbark will be dishing up in her upcoming etiquette book RUDE BITCHES MAKE ME TIRED. Have you been "wait-listed" for your friend's wedding? Or, worse, have you been told, via engraved stationery, that you should "Please don't save the date"? This odious and ill-mannered trend must stop! How did it start? How should we cope with such an audacious display of asshattery? Leave it to Mama Celia to help in times like these. And a word of warning to brides-to-be? Quit showing off your engagement bling to your Facebook friends. They all expect to be invited and they're already shopping for Soda Streams.
Author: R. Dean Johnson Publisher: iUniverse ISBN: 0595790038 Category : Self-Help Languages : en Pages : 160
Book Description
Be accountable. Be responsible. Be on time. Or better yet, get there at ten 'til. You'll be all the wiser-and all the more content! This funny, insightful, life-affirming collection uses everyday moments-from the tobacco fields of South Carolina to red-carpet premieres in Hollywood-to demonstrate the value of showing up early, holding yourself accountable, welcoming change, nourishing others, and being fully present and engaged with life. A native South Carolinian, R. Dean Johnson delivers homegrown wisdom that's unassuming, gracious, and utterly charming. His uplifting, down-home life lessons include: Stop hiding behind answering machines, caller ID, and front-door peepholes: be there, and welcome the intrusion. "Honesty is a good policy. Sometimes it's just not the best one." "There's nothing like a good casserole to say, 'In time, you'll heal. But in the meantime, this will make you feel somewhate better.'" "As a fellow Husky-wearing southerner, I really relate to Dean's anecdotes. This book is filled with lessons to never forget."-Ryan Seacrest, Host of American Idol "Life. Be There at Ten 'Til is as refreshing as a glass of cold buttermilk sipped on the screened porch."-Celia Rivenbark, Author of Bless Your Heart, Tramp and We're Just Like You, Only Prettier
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Author: Celia Rivenbark
Author: Celia Rivenbark
Author: Celia Rivenbark
Author: Craig Thompson Friend
Author: Mark Twain
Author: Celia Rivenbark
Author: Celia Rivenbark
Author: Celia Rivenbark
Author: Celia Rivenbark
Author: R. Dean Johnson